The desire to manage other people's actions, interest in methods of generating sincere interest in oneself and options for influencing a person have always been interested and attracted not only out of selfish considerations and gains, but also to manipulate with a sincere desire to help, but without applying requirements. Trying to figure out why women are so eager to manipulate men, it increasingly turns out that what is being done is not to meet needs (although we will not exclude such negative options), but mainly to make the two participants better.
Since with direct pressure and attempts to make something necessary, quarrels and destruction of relationships are possible, the female path lies in the area where the man himself makes the right decision. Manipulation is a special ability of a person to arouse certain desires in another, and not to make him fulfill the required by any means. Men themselves are not against subtle and skillful manipulation, and in many respects even grateful to their women for such tactics, and they consider this to be wisdom. But it is important to distinguish between positive and negative manipulation, before trying to learn these techniques.
It is easiest to manipulate an in love man, because he already tries to fulfill all the requests of his beloved, but if you use such bright feelings to achieve personal or material gain, without giving anything in return, the consequences can be devastating. Using the manipulation from the first days of dating, many girls do not even notice that they act within the framework of a long-nested and frustrating program, where only complete obedience is considered normal, and the wishes of the man himself are not noticed. This is the manipulation with a negative bias, when a person is used as a function, not taking into account his own needs.
Positive manipulation of the gathering with inspiration and the ability to find benefits for both parties. It is more like a mutual exchange than the requirements, the very principle of obtaining the necessary changes. If in a negative a man is placed in the position of a debtor, then here they begin to take care of him, but not forgetting to voice their needs and desires. As a result, there is a constant exchange of amenities and the desire to do more for another person, in such a mood, even the most unpleasant things can be done without unnecessary tension, because the smile will be the smile of someone who tries to please and care.
Features of male psychology
Regardless of the initial internal or external reasons that prompted a woman to desire to manipulate, if she decides to do this without understanding the peculiarities of the male response to the world and psychology of perception in general, then any attempts may be unsuccessful or even harm.
Girls who believe that they can influence their man by acting with the methods that work on her or her friends get such unexpected reactions that all relationships can deteriorate or the inner core of the man will be broken. Therefore, before acting according to one's own logic, it is important to understand how men react to certain things and what such important concepts as love or duty mean to them.
A man does not need care and too much attention (especially in the form in which girls are accustomed to give or demand), in principle, and they do not need much understanding. The main thing is trust, without explanation and full acceptance. If a woman can listen to criticism and make corrections the next day to please the chosen person and still be grateful for the possibility of development, then the man wants adoption that is not based on any correspondences. Any attempts to change his appearance or company of friends are perceived not as a blessing or care, but as a distance and uselessness.
In stressful and critical situations, men also behave differently - they choose a total concentration of mental activity aimed at finding the right solution and a way out of the situation, even falling out of reality. Therefore, if he happened at work, then at home you will not hear a word - all thoughts will be occupied with the solution of that problem. You can ease the situation not by talking, but by leaving it alone - this is not a manipulation, but a simple understanding of the functioning. Men will not completely retell the whole situation, and everyone they know, the maximum is to ask a specific specialist for advice in a narrow area.
Just as a man intently solves a problem, he thinks with realities and specific categories. In those places where, by one sigh, a woman can understand what they want from her, a man can completely ignore any hints. Moreover, hints are usually perceived without implication and as a direct guide to action, which ultimately gives rise to scandal. If something is said to a man, then to speak directly, just by choosing the wording, they don’t get offended, but consider the wish as a task to be solved.
In interpersonal interaction, men also behave differently, so when a girl looks for ways to manipulate a man so that he falls in love and overwhelms him with his confessions and a flurry of feelings, then he makes an irreparable mistake. All guys need periodic seclusion, when they deal with the emotional events of their inner world, assess the importance of certain events. Without such a break, they do not have the opportunity to assess your importance, so keep away and then he will be attracted back. This is a bit similar to the principle of stretched gum, so watch the degree of distance so that the connection does not break completely, but do not impose yourself with your calls and confessions.
Remember the importance of women in the male life, for this it is good to remember the bachelor's classic apartment and his lifestyle. A man, in fact, needs a minimum set of survival, and even cars and other hobbies are not only for themselves, but for attracting women, ensuring status. Both bold and bright deeds and military actions can begin only because it is necessary for some reason from the perspective of women's needs - to defend your woman or to win new sympathy, to get new benefits or to arrange housing, to please your favorite gift to hear your own importance and necessity (at this particular moment).
Men are pleased with achievements and praise for this, so if a woman notices that a man does at least something, then this is already done for her, it remains only to send it in the right direction and give thanks not to devalue such undertakings.
Secrets, how to achieve the desired from men
Not only numerous publications of various degrees of science, but also women themselves share their secrets about how to learn how to manipulate men. Many people do not notice how they get this knowledge from their grandmothers or older sisters, and even folk legends in many ways teach a woman fine manipulation instead of active opposition.
Wisdom is to give a man a feeling of joy - he can get everything else on his own. When a woman sincerely and vividly thanks for the smallest gifts, she starts the desire to fulfill all her requests. It is based on the fact that it is always more pleasant for people to give and delight others than to get something for themselves. The most sincere joy is given by young children who are not capable of pretending, so remember yourself in your childhood or watch the children now, in order to get some idea of how to respond to any positive actions of a man.
The snobs who think that they are out of this age, and happily jumping from a meeting or clapping their hands on the fact that the guy brought a bouquet of dandelions - this is stupid and not worthy of a serious relationship, loses a lot. Criticism and educational tone can finally kill a man’s inspiration for even the smallest feats.
The main topic of manipulating a man revolves around getting care and help when action is needed regarding common goals. It is worth considering whether the woman herself provides a man with an opportunity to help her with something, voices her needs or pretends that everything is wonderful, and when asked about the necessary intervention she says she can handle it herself.
Men give a feeling of strength, and such self-perception is only possible next to a fragile companion who is able to openly admit his weakness and provide space for problem solving. Even in fairy tales, the knight’s task is to defeat the dragon, save the princess, while the woman can only identify the problem and wait for her to be solved.
Speak not only about the problems that need to be solved, so as not to turn a man into insurance. Speak to him and personal desires, things that delight you, albeit meaningless. Leave aside hints, since it is unlikely that a man can read minds and will guess that a languid sigh at the window with suitcases means a desire to visit Milan.
Speak directly about your dreams, but demand their fulfillment, and if the man himself said that he will realize it, then do not rush and do not put any deadlines and frameworks. To run this stream, you must allow yourself to desire and dream out loud. Many try to save on themselves, not to talk about crazy dreams, so as not to catch male self-esteem, but only the woman that wants is desirable - someone else's taste and thirst for life are always the strongest stimulant for doing this. And if the tycoon’s wife doesn’t express her desires, his condition will melt, because he has no place to invest, there is no incentive to earn money, but at the same time if the girl of an unemployed student talks about her dream of being in India, then he can succeed very much. quickly to fulfill her dream.
When the girl learned to ask for help and noticed the first responses from the man, the main thing is not to put an end, but to continue the interaction, otherwise inspiration can turn into a duty, and a fragile creation that needs guardianship becomes a demanding and capricious tyrant. To avoid such a bias, and the man did not begin to complain to friends, girls need to learn to thank. We often neglect the words of gratitude, although to say something that raises self-esteem or the heating of the ego is not difficult and does not require huge time-consuming.
To tell about how valuable his help was, to highlight the qualities of character or physical skills by which a man solved this problem, hug, prepare a cup of tea - this is the minimum that evens out the balance between receiving and investing. When the balance is disturbed, the man will be exhausted, but if he is filled with joy and satisfaction, he will want to return to his beloved.
Above, we covered the basic rules of positive manipulation based on inspiration. These are fairly straightforward and effective methods, but besides them there are some more tips to help you get better results. The first is the constant presence of praise or compliments. Men are not so harsh and independent that they can do without words of support, in some situations they even need more women to be reminded of their good qualities and capabilities.
Rule one - praise is always a little. Those who are constantly criticized are deprived of the will to engage in any activity, and treat others as a possible threat. When a person hears praise, he not only gains strength to accomplish things (especially those about whom he praises), but also an irresistible desire to be present more often in his life.
The appearance of a woman is also a fairly influential mechanism of manipulation. Feminine men are forgiven more than they are in the form of a teenage tomboy, give presents to well-groomed people and give them a lift home. It is impossible to cause the same high interest in all men; any woman can make herself more attractive and well-groomed.
Recent scientific studies have shown that beautiful people are more allowed, rarely refused and generally strive in every way to please them and be in the circle of those close to them. Therefore, the salary in a business conversation - make sure that the manicure is neat and your head is clean (this is the minimum). A man always wants to be proud of his woman, because if you stun everyone with your beauty, by the end of the evening he will be ready to fulfill all your desires.
Give what is not in the male world - tenderness, refinement, bright colors, ringing bracelets. The more that will be in you that is absent in the brutal world of business decisions, the more power is given to you. A gentle look, a quiet voice, silent listening can achieve much more than constant scandals, reproaches and instructions on what to do. Do not skimp on caresses, just count to whom and what you should give - do not manipulate sex through failure, but just surrender yourself completely and get admiration and reverent attitude, leave your colleagues just a warm glance.
Learn the needs of men, and do not give him, without hesitation what you see fit. No matter how many grandmothers say that you first need to feed a man, send him to the bathroom and only then talk, this may not be applicable to your man or in this situation. Perhaps, having come home from work, he wants a romantic walk, intimate intimacy, then your supper from fatty dishes will only upset him. All good manipulations are built on how to do good to a person, and then if he wants to thank, honestly say about those desires that have long existed inside you.
An important advice for any manipulation of a man is to remain sincere. This does not mean that he needs to lay out the final meaning of his behavior, but all the compliments and gratitude, emotions and reactions must be real. You must be able to maintain a high level of self-sufficiency, without hysterics perceiving a refusal to fulfill your request, despite all the advice given. Manipulation, even the most calculated, does not give a guarantee of performance, but respect for someone else’s freedom and choice, understanding that a man does not owe you anything will help to maintain the necessary level of impartiality and not put pressure on him with a sense of duty or guilt.
Examples of how to manipulate words
The complexity of the manipulation of many cause the wording of their desires, but there are various verbal techniques, building a dialogue in such a way that a person makes the necessary decision. They are useful for any interaction - it will help to convince the interlocutor or not to get under someone's influence. So, the first way is to appeal to the previous phrases of consent. It works best with men who value their word very much. Here, even under the changed conditions, it is necessary to return to the original phrase each time, for example, if you agreed to go to sea, when planning a weekend, you need to remind the conversation about the sea, ignoring the offer to gather a company of friends or exchange everything for fishing in the country house.
The classic of verbal manipulation by a man is to achieve several positive answers in front of a key question. It is possible only with jewelry use, because it has become extremely popular and well-known, even the children from the second question understand what this is all about, and a man may be offended by such attempts. But a more subtle technique of emotional adjustment helps drag a man to his side, not including conscious analysis. To do this, you must carefully copy his posture, voice volume, respiration rate - this is how the psyche tunes and the decision that is true for one becomes obvious and unique for the other.
You can use verbal constructions with a shifted meaning in order to divert attention from the necessary. This eliminates the direct indication of the action causing the resistance ("if you go to the kitchen, make me tea," "when you come back, grab the bread," etc.). The second option for unobtrusive manipulation of a man is to provide false freedom of choice when a person is given two options, each of which you need. For example, you can ask a man if he wants to visit his parents or the store first, while you are silent about the possibility of not going anywhere and staying at home.
When asked, speak fully about understanding the problem, but with some exaggeration or childlike spontaneity. So you can ask for a new dress with a sad face, blaming yourself for this desire (you can refer to the fact that now there is no money or you already have a wardrobe in your clothes - thus you stop these explanations from the man). Когда он видит перед собой девушку, понимающую бесполезность своего желания и грустящую по этому поводу, то места злости или сопротивлению не остаётся, есть лишь умиление такой непосредственности.
Но помните, что когда разговор касается действительно серьезных вещей, лучше обходиться без словесных манипуляций и двояких формулировок. When it comes to building further relationships, value categories, plans, only maximum honesty, with a sentence of factual and emotions, can help to solve the situation correctly.