What if my husband left? Marital life is often replete with unpredictable events that are capable of delivering such a crushing blow that a woman can not come to her soul soon. A marriage initiated by a man often falls apart unexpectedly. It seems yesterday everything was all right, well, there were quarrels in the family, like everyone else, and suddenly the spouse suddenly packed up things, declaring that he was leaving for another woman.
What if my husband left? The advice of psychologists in this regard aims to understand the reasons for the departure of the husband from the family, since the man often approaches this step deliberately. Often women cannot understand: “Everything was fine with us, why did the husband leave? What should we do now? ”“ Just because no one really leaves, and before making such a decision about parting with the once beloved wife and children, does the man weigh all the pros and cons. And only after the care plan has been drawn up From a family, a man decides to inform his spouse of this. Therefore, if after a quarrel a man grabs his jacket and leaves, slamming the door with this, you should not be afraid of such leaving. ruin the family overnight. The temporary clarification of the relationship between the spouses only set the stage for a further break in relations and separation. But the final decision to leave the family to men is taken by a sober and cold head, not by a temper. The fact that soon the wife will be alone, and does not suspect, because she is accustomed to care and attention from her husband, and she often does not even try to understand, listen and become an assistant for her husband. Spouses leave those wives who are accustomed only to "take", but they cannot do anything in return.
The husband went to the other, what to do? Husbands leave the family due to lack of attention, affection, care or sex. Men are drawn to where they are loved and appreciated. It is not uncommon for wives to blame their men, who are tired of working all day and not hearing a single kind word from their women. Before assuring himself and others that everything was fine, but the husband left anyway, and the woman now does not know what to do, then it is worthwhile to work on her mistakes. Separation from the spouse is a good chance to realize the mistakes made and to exclude their repetition in the future.
Maybe for some of the women, the topic of the psychological paradoxes of life seems far-fetched or insufficiently substantiated, we will refrain from evidence of their existence and only consider their psychological influence on life. A woman lives, makes mistakes, suffers, feels dissatisfaction. Often making mistakes in relationships, and then, analyzing their causes, there is a desire to break out of this vicious circle. It does not always work, but, if so, new problems come to the place of old ones. These are the psychological paradoxes of life. A woman begins to feel that life is somehow wrong, joy brings rest less, children become annoying, endless problems overwhelm. And then the husband left, and what does the woman no longer know? And it is so hard to live, and then the spouse set up at the most inopportune moment and left. Why it happens? From ignorance of male psychology, unwillingness to please the spouse, due to the depreciation of the man in the eyes of a woman, looping on himself and many other reasons.
If the woman has already found out and knows that the spouse is not going to return, then in this situation it is very important to behave correctly. You should stop blaming yourself, even if the woman initiates the departure of her husband from the family.
Now the main task is to become a wise woman who has realized her mistakes and does not plan to repeat them. The main mistake of women, from whom their husbands left, is the desire to bring them back to the family by all means. Persuasion, threats, promises are often set in motion, but often none of this works. And then women turn for help to friends, relatives of the beloved, fortunetellers or psychologists. Abandoned women are trying to fix everything until their loved ones have cooled completely towards them. This tactic is correct if the care of the husband is not carefully thought out.
It is quite simple to return a husband who hastily left, having been offended by his wife’s refusal or blackmail, but in case of planned care, it is no longer possible to change the situation with any tears, persuasion, promises.
What not to do if the husband is gone - tips from psychologists
You can not constantly call your spouse, look for meetings with him, write messages after him, find out the relationship, who is right and who is to blame. Such a woman’s behavior will not produce the desired results. A man pursued by his ex-wife will begin to feel like a "hunted game" and will try, by all means, to move further away from her. Some wives still manage to return the husband back to the family, but for this it is necessary to maintain self-esteem.
You can not cry and pity yourself, cherishing your loss. By making herself a victim and considering that her husband’s departure is the end of the world, the woman is driving herself into a depressive state. It is required to try to calm down and remember that "when one door closes, the second one will necessarily open." What is now a great misfortune for a woman can in the future serve as the beginning of other happy relationships. Now you can not give up, but should continue to look after yourself. According to the previous schedule, you should visit the hairdresser, beauty salon, gym, swimming pool. Any occupation that a woman is interested in will allow her to be distracted and alienate from sad thoughts.
You do not need to revenge or threaten your ex-husband, you should not blackmail him with his children together, because he went to his mistress. These actions will bring nothing good, but they can be a confirmation of the correctness of their decision. You should not try to reason with a rival, to which the man went. You do not understand her - it is different.
It will be superfluous to explain the reason for the departure of her husband or to tell all sorts of nastiness about him. If, before his departure, he arranged for his wife, and there were no complaints about life, then why now from the side so eagerly feel like self-pity and condemnation of her husband.
It is necessary to be strong and not to pay attention to rumors that will spread very quickly around a woman.
It would not be desirable to hear support in the address, you should not discuss private life with colleagues, neighbors and friends. They will not advise anything good, but women will quickly spread information to the misfortune of all.
It is not necessary immediately after leaving the spouse to look for a replacement for him. It is necessary to realize what the woman did not please him in order not to repeat the previous mistakes.
No need to start a new relationship to make the former spouse jealous.
The husband wants to leave the family, what to do in this situation? No need to panic, sob, drink sedatives and tearfully begged to stay. It is necessary to find out for myself, for what reason the husband wants to leave the family, and whether it is worth keeping him. It is necessary to understand that a man just does not go away, there is always a reason for this, but whether to keep it or not depends on this reason. Perhaps the man was not created for the family and he had already left, and then returned. If a husband rushes headlong into a new romance, forgetting about his family, and then, having satisfied his passion, returns, it is required to think about whether such relationships are necessary? Is it worth to fight for such a husband? Wouldn’t he set up again when he needed help and support in the family?
Realizing my wife that her husband met another woman, cheated on her and leaves the family is very difficult, but if it happened, is it worth maintaining this relationship, if the spouse openly declared that they preferred another woman. In this case, it will be better to keep female pride and self-esteem. Apparently, destiny deliberately leads a woman away from this woman’s life in order to present new relationships filled with happiness in the future.
Statistics show that women, after five years of marriage, look at their husbands differently, differently they are not so caring, attentive, affectionate, they stop appreciating men and are treated as a means of extracting money or a personal driver. Women forget that feelings should be nourished, and not blamed their husbands for fading love. Women accept that there is no more passion in intimate relationships, but men do not want to agree with this, so it’s easier for them to leave than to change something in a relationship.
Therefore, the first thing to do if a husband wants to leave the family is to be transformed.
The husband should remember who he is losing: a new wardrobe, hairstyle, make-up, manicure.
Next comes the conversation - better in neutral territory - a cafe or restaurant. During the conversation we do not blame the husband, it will only spoil everything. Let him express that he does not like in a relationship. After the monologue of the spouse is completed, the wife follows, preserving her own dignity and without tears to say that she is ready to change. It is necessary to give the spouse time to think, but it should be hinted that in time it is limited. Next, you need to switch to other topics: sports, weather, news, or some funny moments from your personal life.
Having clearly understood the reasons for the upcoming departure of her husband, you can still fix it, but this is if the wife is to blame, and if the husband is, then it is better to let him go, no matter how hard it is. Perhaps the time has come when everyone will go their way. If it is difficult to cope with the depressing condition on your own after the husband’s departure, then it would be advisable to seek help from a psychologist who, during a personal conversation, will help to sort things out.