Psychology and Psychiatry

How to love yourself

How to love yourself? Often, such a question is asked by people in consultations with a psychologist. After all, often in life you can hear the dictum: "love yourself and your life will improve." For many individuals it is absolutely not clear what actions this slogan calls for. Many people on this occasion think that to love oneself is to admire one’s own personality and to rank one’s actions as the most correct. In fact, this is the behavior of spoiled personalities, who often come to psychologists and complain about their unhappy fate: for loneliness, for other people’s bad attitude towards them and their dislike. And the reason for all is the inability to put their needs and desires below the interests of others, because who wants to tolerate absolute egoists next to them. But on the other hand, there are people who live according to the principle "I am the last letter in the alphabet." Such individuals first think about others, and only then about themselves. Often, there is no longer any time, energy, or energy left. Such people are also very unhappy. And if selfish individuals only notice their ideal image, considering themselves the most intelligent, talented, kind, beautiful and best, and other people guilty of all their troubles, in the second case opposite beliefs about themselves prevail: I am stupid, unworthy, ugly and m .d

How to love yourself - the advice of psychologists

So how to love yourself? This simple expression means different meanings. To love yourself is to be able to take care of yourself and your needs, it is to internally accept your body, character, appearance, to be able to defend your interests and rights, the ability to be aware of your desires and find a mutually beneficial compromise with family and friends.

How to love yourself and increase self-esteem? It is very easy to give advice, it is even harder to bring them to life, but psychologists do not recommend despair, but suggest methods that will help you to love yourself and raise self-esteem. First you need to check the level of personal self-esteem. To do this, on a clean sheet of paper, draw a vertical line, then put a dot on this line where the person deems it necessary, but having first presented himself with this dot. If the point is set on the line below the average level, then the individual does not like himself very much. If above the middle of the line, the person adores himself. The best option is a point set in the middle of the line, since in this case the individual treats himself adequately.

If the result of this test is not very pleased, then you should proceed to the exercises to raise self-esteem. The main thing that is needed in this matter is patience.

Exercise number 1 - sports. Work on the body, physical activity will raise self-esteem quite high.

Exercise number 2 - passing by the mirror, tell yourself a compliment.

Exercise number 3 - always at yourself to find something good and to focus on it.

To do this, you need to take a sheet of paper, divide it into two parts and in the first part write all your positive qualities, and in the second part write those qualities that you would like to change in yourself. Next in the list you want to cross out each word with negative qualities, then cut off this part of the sheet, and tearing it into small pieces, let it go to the wind or burn it.

The next step is to memorize the rest of the text and, repeating it regularly to yourself every day with the wording "I am ....". Then you should take a rule to add one new positive quality to this list every three days.

Exercise number 4 - comparison.

It is performed every evening, tracking the positive dynamics. It is necessary to compare yourself not with other people, but to start comparing yourself with yourself, as you were yesterday, noticing everything good that you managed to do over the past day, even if these are minor details. Be sure to praise yourself and follow the dynamics of the process.

Exercise number 5 - replacing negative positive, performed in stages.

Stage 1. Creating a positive image. It is necessary to present an image of yourself. To do this, you should think about your holistic image, demonstrating not only appearance, but also character.

Stage 2 Change mood. Everything that appears negative in a personal image should be changed and these elements should be presented to themselves in a favorable light. For example, if a person sees himself as sluggish and has difficulty starting a new business, and is also inclined to postpone business for later, then this very same trait is capable of protecting him from impulsive behavior and allows weighing more carefully before taking action.

How to love yourself and accept what is really? Psychologists are advised to be guided by the principle that personal failures are in fact successes, just a person does not look at them from that angle.

It is also very important to present a complete and complete image of oneself as one sees oneself at the moment of attaining the desired goal.

Stage 3 Watching a movie. Where I am - the image becomes a bright, attractive, voluminous, colorful, large and close film about his personality. This movie should be scrolled in my head.

4 stage. Comparison of sensations. It is necessary to ask myself what changes I feel when comparing the new self-created image with the one that was presented at the very beginning of the exercises. What is it for? Self-esteem strongly depends on the content and form of the I-image. Self-esteem rises when I - the image acquires positive content and puts on an intense form. How to do it? A person should always remember that there are always people in the world who need him with all his strengths and weaknesses and who love him for what he is.

Therefore, in their practice to improve self-esteem, you should use exercises that contain certain positive attitudes that inspire the individual to yourself. The best advice for gaining success, confidence, and increasing self-esteem is constant self-improvement training. Even tiny successes are able to instill confidence in a person, and give him an understanding that he is well done and is moving in the right direction. It must always be remembered that in life the most important person is he himself and only his opinion is important. Therefore, it is necessary to accept yourself, to love your individuality and to try to enjoy every living moment.

How to love yourself? Psychologists advise, above all, to take care of themselves. What does it mean? To maintain your body on your own, to support yourself encouraging in case of failures and not to engage in self-flagellation. For example, "yes, I was wrong, but I will try to avoid such mistakes in the future." You need to listen to your personal needs, your own desires, attitudes, requirements, recognize your emotions and sensations, and also hear your own body. The ability to take care of oneself is often a difficult process, and it is quite difficult to do on one's own, because for years people have not heard themselves and force out their thoughts and needs. At first glance, relationships with oneself seem to be an incomprehensible thing, but the better they develop, the more likely a person is to achieve success in everything.

People have illusions that they live and build relationships with their husbands, wives, lovers, colleagues, friends, but in reality the individual lives with himself: “I was born,” “I am divorced,” and build relationships with myself. Many people do it badly, because there is no love for themselves, and communication with others directly depends on the attitude to oneself. If a person is not satisfied with his marriage partner, then you can divorce him. If the boss is not satisfied, then you can change jobs or try to catch less eye contact, but if the individual is not satisfied with his personality, from which he cannot “leave,” then serious problems begin. Yes, and do not need to run away from yourself, you need to help yourself.

One should learn to build relationships with oneself as with another person. And such an opportunity is to build a different relationship with oneself, more productive and comfortable. So how to love yourself? It is necessary to begin with the fact that there will be no other self anymore, and with the person who is visible in the mirror you will have to spend quite a number of years. The almighty and infinite universe can give a person all that he desires, but why then many people are unhappy. The main cause of the problems of all people are limiting beliefs, deeply entrenched in the human consciousness and taken even deeper roots in the subconscious. For example: "I am not handsome," "they do not love me and do not understand," "I have no luck," "I myself am to blame for everything." All these negative attitudes are laid in man since childhood and turn into barriers and obstacles to happiness. Therefore, it is necessary to change attitudes towards oneself by relieving the burden of the past and relieving oneself of constant guilt. It is necessary to remember everything, the bad things that were said about you, put it all into one “basket” - and mentally “throw out” it, thus freeing it from the burden of the past, because someone's opinion is just someone else's opinion.

It is important not to forget about your unique personality, its merits. A person's life then changes when he realizes that he is unique, that there are no other such personalities, and the thought that he is worse or better - this is the world of only his own ideas. Therefore, most people who are perfect in our personal presentation become the most beautiful for us, although they are not at all. So, if a person has a desire to be sociable, happy, to feel attractive, you need to act exactly as if it already is and all this is available at the moment. Every person can start right now his own reassessment of the individual: put a “plus” on himself, find positive qualities in himself, praise himself for certain actions and immediately the world is spinning around him because he began to love himself.