Psychology and Psychiatry

Psychology of love

Psychology of love - This is the realm of the unknown, a favorite topic of thousands of poets, novelists and even scholars. The actions of a man in love to the end can not explain any scientific community. The lover is a mystery and at the same time a challenge for science. After all, love exists autonomously, lives by itself, does not obey the laws of logic and reason. It can have a destructive effect on people, incinerating everything inside, and creative, "elevating it to heaven." Most consider lovers a little crazy, and hence love itself is seen as a kind of mental illness. However, according to a number of scientists, love is a means of socialization of an individual, a mechanism for his involvement in a system of social interconnections.

Psychology of love and relationships

Mutual love to the deathbed and a happy family life all people on earth want to have, but only some "lucky ones" manage to realize this dream in practice. Trusting and truly prosperous relationships will develop only if both partners make efforts to comprehend the differences between the psychology of love between men and women.

The psychology of love and the relationship between a man and the fair sex varies considerably. This happened historically, but earlier this distinction was not perceived so acutely, since all the relations of the spouses were built, basically, in the life style that developed as society developed. There were generally accepted foundations that for several millennia stated how spouses should behave, they also prescribed certain duties for them. Modern views on family life, love relationships, extramarital affairs have changed somewhat.

So, for example, in the past, the role of the wife was limited only to the domestic service of the family and care for all participants in family relations. Today, women are striving by leaps and bounds to win the right to individuality, to the opportunity to live as they like, and not by order. Sharp emancipation of representatives of the earlier weaker sex has led to a loss of understanding between the male and female part of the population. As a result, naturally, the psychology of women in love, their behavior, mood, and psychology of men in love have undergone quite significant changes.

Besides the fact that the beautiful feminins are originally in nature different from the representatives of the stronger half, today they are more likely than ever to be affected not always by the beneficial effects of society. All this together makes them even more incomprehensible to the opposite sex. In a man, everything is directed to a specific minute, their organism is adapted to a quick one-step splash of energy. Women act gradually and more plastic.

The psychology of women in love, in the first turn, is due to the desire to continue the race. The feeling of love makes the daughters of Eve truly feminine, it reveals their beauty and charm, makes them gentle and docile. Women are much weaker in the physical aspect of men, at least, this is how nature was originally intended by nature, but the newfangled craze for women in gyms makes this statement controversial for a certain number of women. In any case, the ladies are much tougher than the strong half. They also have a more developed sense of responsibility, since they need to take care of the offspring.

Beautiful femini much more emotional than the male part of the population. Psychology considers their emotional manifestations of love to be a physiological feature. In addition, emotions are an important component of the maternal instinct. After all, if a new emotional mother does not have a close emotional connection with a baby, then often she refuses it.

Basically, the whole psychology of female love is associated with the desire to become a mother. Scientists are convinced that the preoccupation of beautiful young ladies by their appearance is due to the desire to attract males, caused by the instinct of procreation. Genetically and physiologically determined factor is not the tendency of women to aggressiveness. Another important difference between women and gentlemen can be considered the susceptibility of female mood to the influence of hormonal levels. That hormones can be caused, at first glance, a slightly inadequate behavior of the chosen one.

Psychology of love and relationships, how to understand that you love

In order to establish mutual understanding in a couple and a trusting relationship between partners, it must always be remembered that there are two completely opposite views of reality, which gives rise to differences in the psychology of a man in love with a woman. Therefore, for successful, happy and long-lasting relationships, it is necessary to study the differences that the psychology of love and love, sexual desire and friendship encompasses, as well as skillfully combine all four of these components in family life.

Love from the point of view of psychology implies a free relationship based on mutual happiness and mutual trust. It conceals three aspects: moral (obligations), emotional (intimacy) and physical (passion) aspects.

The moral component of love implies a willingness to make joint solutions to problems. This aspect is based on respect for the position and feelings of the partner, moral principles, intellectual abilities and dignity. Respect is the guarantor of trust and loyalty in a relationship.

The emotional side of love is intimacy, togetherness, friendship. Love has an inextricable link with friendship, the basis of which are common views, goals, aspirations. In love partners, friendship reaches its peak due to inner closeness and unity of souls, when the personal turns into the general and vice versa. This is a joy for a partner, empathy for him, enjoying his touch, which replace words, transmit true feelings hidden from others. Ordinary friendship does not imply such closeness. Such intimacy arises only when, in addition to common interests, there is attraction in friendship.

The physical aspect of love is based on passion, characteristic of this behavior and arousal. Sexual attraction of such strength, when a partner is the only source of physical satisfaction. The love object is the most desirable, and other partners are not attracted already.

All these aspects of the psychology of love are equally important for building and developing relationships. In different pairs there may exist their different combinations, characteristic for each kind of love. But the so-called "true love" is based on these three aspects, taken in equal proportions.

The psychology of love and love has its own distinctive features. For partners who are in a state of love, intimate implications of relationships are important, for intimate love is not a priority. People in love to reach out to one another to avoid the feeling of loneliness, the partners who truly love each other are self-sufficient, their inner world is characterized by independence from the partner. Love is characterized by the appearance of an enthusiastic state only in the presence of an object, and in love, happiness is continuous. Love is the desire to possess, and love is the desire to give. The first can be compared with the behavior of the baby, which is controlled by the only desire "I want", the second one - with the behavior of an adult, wise with experience. The first - devastates, the second - fills. Being in love requires the presence of external attributes and confirmations, love is the desire of the couple to move in one direction.

Therefore, if the topic is concerned: "the psychology of love and relationships, how to understand that you are loved," then first you need to learn to listen to your own heart, notice signs of a verbal and non-verbal nature, and also understand which desire dominates: to take or give.

Psychology of men in love

The sons of Adam are seen by women as creatures full of secrets and riddles, however, of a similar opinion and representatives of a strong half about beautiful femines. The female brain is constantly tormented by thoughts: "what is he thinking about", "how to understand his actions", "what is going on in general in his head". Often, male behavior simply baffles the daughters of Eve. How to find common ground when men and women often do not want to find them? And if they want, I just don’t know how.

The psychology of men in love is exactly what is meant to help. In the first turn, you need to understand one simple fact: all people strive for happiness, but everyone has their own idea about this state. One is tasty enough to feel satisfied with his own being, the other will pass all his life to the end, without knowing happiness. Someone can see the beauty in the usual things and get pleasure from it, the other after reaching the next goal on the path to happiness, will feel empty and miserable, setting the next bar in front of you. At the same time, most people have similar needs - in security, procreation, respect, love. These are inherent human aspirations generated by instincts. Most men tirelessly repeat that when choosing a lady's heart, they are guided by the following criteria: the rich inner world and the ability to cook tasty.

The psychology of a man in love is such that the representatives of the stronger sex are very cunning, calling these criteria prevailing when choosing the second half. In the first turn, the sons of Adam in love relationships are based on the compliance of the young ladies with his standards of beauty. A man at a subconscious level makes his choice in favor of a certain girl, based mainly on her appearance. Only much later, in the process of communicative interaction, does a man begin to assess the inner world of the chosen one and her economy. Therefore, it is not necessary at the first rendezvous to paint the guy all his culinary achievements.

The psychology of men in love is due to ancient instincts. Consequently, in the man instills confidence in their own success. From this we can derive the main components of the behavior of the strong half and their psychology of love:

- irreconcilable desire to conquer the girl you like;

- the tendency to always dominate the relationship;

- the desire to feel their own superiority;

- the desire to like other ladies, and attract their views;

- the need for love and attention.

The psychology of men in love is initially based on the commonplace instinct to conquer and conquer. Many young ladies have noticed that loving guys are capable of much for the sake of winning their beloved heart. Therefore, if a gentleman "sings" about love and constantly postpones meetings, hiding behind a lack of time, does not respond to the girl's requests, rarely calls, this indicates that all his words are empty.

Instinct pushes the representatives of the stronger sex to reckless, and sometimes even slightly inadequate actions, for the sake of admiring gaze favorite eyes. In this case, the girls should not think that such reckless behavior will last forever. The process of conquering the lover usually lasts a short time. As soon as the man makes sure that he firmly reigns in the heart of the chosen one, he will less and less often begin to give out sudden gifts and make surprises. Rare representatives of the stronger sex are able to care for their chosen one throughout their lives. So, the beauty is subdued, the proud conqueror of women's hearts goes to rest, and the dominant male comes to the fore.

Male psychology in love is such that for the representatives of the stronger sex it is very important to dominate relationships, to be chief in the family. Often, women hear a saying from the lips of their loved ones that they are always right, that all decisions remain behind them, and the only argument in favor of such phrases is their belonging to the male race. Such a desire to dominate is not determined by instinct; rather, it depends on upbringing, as well as on the relationship model adopted in the boy’s family. Adequate desire of men to dominate, no need to perceive as a disadvantage, to fight with him and eradicate. After all, women are still the weaker sex, to whom nature is destined to be the keeper of the hearth, but by no means his protector. Worse, when the wife has to pull on his own fragile shoulders and husband, "earner" and children.

The psychology of men in love is also manifested in the desire to be the center of attention of the chosen one. Guys are pretty greedy for praise. Therefore, one should praise his beloved, emphasize his uniqueness, say what he is kind, clever and simply wonderful. In this case, praise should not be blatant flattery. The lack of dithyramb pushes the spouse to search on the side of the one who can assess his merits.

Men in marriage have slightly other manifestations of love - psychology says so. Indeed, for representatives of the strong half, the word marriage is associated with the loss of freedom, and yet they are very afraid of any restrictions. In addition, no matter how much a spouse earns, what is his social status, he tends to command and be in charge. Sometimes in men, the family is the only place where they can assert themselves and work out the command voice. Also, "males" dream of an economic wife. And here it does not matter which of the spouses has more free time, the lot of the spouse is the kitchen. However, not all men behave in this way. Women need to remember that even if they got the most agreeable gentleman, you should not go too far, defending the right to make decisions. If a man feels that his freedom is too limited and constantly under pressure, then he will run away into the wild in the near future. A wise and loving spouse, who values ​​family relationships, should try to adjust life so that a man feels like the head of the family in any situation. Indeed, for the male part of the population, actual power is not as important as the presence of nominal power.

The psychology of men in love is inextricably linked with sexual desire and intimate relationships. The following describes the perfect intimate life with the spouse's eyes of a man. First of all, the stronger sex should feel at a height in bed life. Therefore, in this area of ​​coexistence, women should not save enthusiastic cheers and praise. In this area of ​​relationships, the spouse also strives to dominate, and he needs to be allowed to. In this case, it will not be superfluous, occasionally show initiative and dominate in bed.

Psychology in the bed of the representatives of the strong half is entirely due to their instincts. That is why men in intimate relationships always want to feel strong, skillful, attractive. If the spouse will feel that way, being next to the faithful, then he will definitely not look for anyone on the side.

In addition to the professional, intimate sphere, it is also important for men to be realized in their hobbies, for example, fishing or designing aircraft models. Therefore, to take the position of a tyrant, forbidding her husband to engage in that which gives him pleasure is not the best strategy. Any prohibitions are perceived by the stronger sex as a restriction of freedom, which will lead a desire to break free. Men are freedom-loving creatures with whom you need to be able to negotiate, and not to act by prohibitions. Any restrictions in the pair, no matter which way they go, always cause only harm to the relationship.

Not only do women want in a marriage to feel as if they were behind a stone fortress, men also need to know that they are safe, that they will not be betrayed, they love and expect that they will be received by anyone, that they will support them and help, if necessary. In addition, a man should not only feel himself secure, but also surround him with the protection of all those dear to his heart. This is also a manifestation of the innate instinct, which can be briefly formulated with the following attitudes: my territory, my property, my wife, etc. Responsibility for a family, own property, a sense of owner - all this is also very significant for any member of the male part of the population. Therefore, women are encouraged to show their loved ones how important it is for them to feel the protection and support of their spouse. In addition, you need to tell your husbands more often that they are strong and courageous.

Women should try not to lose sight of any, even the most insignificant, success of their men. Only admiration in the eyes of his beloved and enthusiastic words will push a man to further accomplishments. Only with that woman will a man live his whole life, with which he will feel his own uniqueness and significance.

What, in essence, is the psychology of love and relationships, how to understand that they love you?

In fact, knowledge of the fundamentals of male behavior and the main aspects of psychology is the main assistant to the weaker sex in terms of winning the heart of the beloved. С возрастом приходит мудрость, а путь к знаниям открыт всегда, было бы желание. Лишь понимание специфики поведения влюбленного мужчины позволит построить здоровые, длительные и счастливые семейные отношения. И если любимый начал все реже делать сюрпризы, не стоит поддаваться панике, считая, что избранник разлюбил.After all, he simply could have decided that he had already conquered his beloved, therefore, he now needs to take care of material well-being, and wait for the gifts.

First love psychology

It is rare to meet a subject who, in his youth or in his late youth, would not have survived first love, feelings, when, at the sight of an object of sighs, his legs weakened, he was hot, breathtaking, sweating his palms and dried out in his mouth. When I constantly wanted to be close to my beloved, to see him, to hear. In the absence of reciprocity, often a bad mood, loss of sleep and appetite, glances cast in secret, quiet sighs, and, conversely, with mutual love - euphoria, riot of colors, happy mood, increased working capacity, energy just beats the key, the desire to embrace all passersby and give them at least a little of their heat.

It is believed that the first feeling is the purest, unclouded by greed, lust, desire to possess. First love is an exalted feeling, to which the attitude is always only the most serious. After all, once it originates in the soul, everything else instantly recedes into the background - studies, sports training, and hobbies are abandoned. Everything leaves, there is only one object of sighing. But first love cannot last forever. She, like everything else in life passes, but the wounds can leave quite deep.

Despite the mental anguish that the first love sometimes leaves behind, it is a pleasure for many to remember about it, to talk about their experiences. Some people who have experienced this beautiful feeling in deep youth are convinced that it was love at first sight, while psychology says the opposite.

First love - the psychology of relationships. It is impossible at first sight to fall in love with a stranger, you can only experience a feeling of gravity of bodies, which can grow into something deeper, but this takes time. Instantly the feeling of love does not originate. For the emergence of true love, experience of relationships, unity of souls, aspiration in one direction, patience and understanding, common views, attitudes, interests and principles, the desire to share all the joys and sorrows that arose are needed. At first glance, all of the above can not appear.

Psychology denies love at first sight, because love is not just a feeling, not an impression of a moment, it is the work of both partners multiplied by time.

Psychology takes the first experience of love relationships as an important personal test. She argues that the final stage of the formation of a personality depends precisely on how a person experiences a state of love.

Every man is a social being. He lives in a society that dictates certain living conditions, behavior patterns, etc. Living the next role, each person knows exactly how to behave. For example, a child understands how to behave, adults know what to do for family well-being. But when a feeling of first love appears, the person himself has to make decisions, to think about what to do. In this role, the individual is simultaneously a student and an examiner. There are no prescribed rules, because they simply can not be written. After all, love is irrational. In a situation of first love, a person is no longer a successful student or a caring father. Here he has to open in relation to the chosen one. To present yourself before your beloved, uncovered, as it really is.

By experiencing this high feeling, no one wonders about what kind of car a lover has, what kind of apartment, parenthood, material security. This feeling is permeated with romance, light and purity, but it is impossible to treat it superficially, since the first love can both bestow gratuitously and break a person.

However, more interest is the fact that the true first feeling of love is rare. There are many individuals who have not experienced this feeling, but there are also those who, after many years, cannot forget the object of first love, which has a rather pernicious effect on the person himself.

Psychologists are convinced that the first feeling of love should be completed. About him should remain only pleasant light memories, evoking either joy or sadness, but not longing or depression. And even more so do not need to return to the experienced relationship. A return to the past condemns a person to even greater torment. The so-called "sticking" on the object of first love contributes to an unsuccessful marriage. After all, dissatisfaction with today's life leads to the idealization of past relationships.

The next factor causing the desire to return the object of first love is the structure of a person’s personality, prone to splitting of feelings. For example, a married woman seems to love her own spouse, but at the same time she scrolls through other possible options in her head. And if the opportunity is given, then the lady can not resist.

Narcissistic inclinations are the third factor leading to a return to former relationships. Selfishness, self-admiration, admiration of one's own person does not allow one to forget the time when there was so much enthusiasm, admiration, so many gentle and pleasant words were uttered by the beloved.

But the most significant factor is considered the predisposition of people to exist out of time. For them, there is only one category "always." Such people perceive everything that happened earlier, people, past relationships, as a component of their own lives now, despite the fact that many years have passed, the situation has changed and nothing can be returned. Narcissistic personalities perceive first love not as a past feeling, but as something imperishable.

But the situation is more dangerous not when people “stall” on the first feeling, but when people have not experienced this feeling at all at a young age, when the first love comes at the age of forty. Such a situation is catastrophic, even despite the sublimity and creativity of this feeling, to the positive emotions that it carries in itself. What makes a catastrophic situation is that at this age each person already has a certain way of life, some already have families, children, work and everything that is necessary for a happy life. And then suddenly, unexpectedly, a feeling comes that turns everything in life, changes the usual way of life and even destroys families. After all, life without an object of groaning is meaningless. In this lies the main danger of the belated feeling of first love.

It is required to understand that the first love - psychology states sooner or later will overtake everyone. It can be mutual or unrequited, but it will be remembered for a lifetime. The sensations generated by it help a person to re-recognize himself. First love is needed to teach people to love.