Gas jetting - this is a psychological manipulation whose task is to make a person doubt the objectivity of what is happening. A gaslighting person wants to make another individual "abnormal," "insane," wants him to lose touch with the outside world. The person who uses gaslighting is called a gaslighter.

The term gaslighting began to be used after the release of the film "Gaslight" ("Gaslight"). In the story, the protagonist steals the jewelry from his wife and hides them in the attic, while he lights up the light, so the tension in the other lamps in the house decreases. This can not fail to notice his wife. But her husband assures her that the lighting is all right, and indicates that she has mental problems, because she sees something. Thus, the woman believed that she did have mental disorders, since she truly trusted the beliefs of her husband in this.

Gazlighting, what is it? This is the real manipulation.

Gazliding - inaction on the part of the victim, who does not even resist his manipulator.

Psychology causes different psychology, but most often they are related to the fact that a person is not able to change. For example, a person is annoyed by the fact that he is not at that age, not of the gender, that his social status or position in the family is inappropriate. So, you can often hear: "You still haven't dried milk over your lips," "You're a woman, shame on you," "You are not my boss," "You are not the head of the family to point out," and you can give similar examples lots of.

Gazlating and abyus in relations arise between people who spend a lot of time together: in the family, at work, between friends.

Often couples in gaslighting consist of a parent and child, a husband and wife, a boss and a subordinate. Coming out of the fact that relations in these couples are more long-lasting, it can be said that gaslighting is a long-term strategy of behavior, and not a one-time precedent. A gaslighting manipulator will not be able to achieve something at once, because it is impossible, from the first, to devalue a person so much that she herself feels that she is unsure of herself, incapable and pitiful.

Also, gaslighting is a rather long-term phenomenon, because the aggressor, who is in essence an "emotional vampire," takes great pleasure in constantly observing the humiliation of the victim. It is much more difficult for a child in such a situation, because he does not understand that he is being gasled. He also does not know how to deal with this, and believes everything that his relatives say. He begins to doubt his own inferiority, becomes closed and depressive. He cannot just pack up and leave the house, as an adult can do to resist gas-lacing in his family, even if he begins to realize that his parents’s attitude towards him is not normal.

In order to understand whether a person has fallen under the influence of gaslighting, he needs to watch the aggressor and see if certain signs are characteristic of the initiator of gaslighting.

Gazleiter manipulates the victim so that she doubts her memory; it makes you think about your own adequacy and emotional stability; special attention betrays the age, gender and physiological characteristics of a person, emphasizing his incompetence; speaks of the sacrifice as an empty-headed and feeble person; ignores feelings. If gaslighting is detected in time, it can be overcome without significant damage to the victim’s mental health. For a person who has experienced a long gaslining, rehabilitation is simply necessary, you can get it in special institutions or try ways of self-improvement.

Gaslighting how to resist

To understand the essence of the phenomenon of gaslighting, what it is, what are its signs, it is necessary to find out what causes provoke its formation.

Causes of gaslighting may be different.

Gazliding may be caused by the malicious intentions of the abuser. A manipulating gazlighter is capable of making a person doubt his memory; he systematically and regularly rejects the realistic perception. There are situations when a person really does not remember anything of what is happening, or he is very ashamed to admit that he was wrong.

In order not to be a severe victim of gas gliding, it is necessary to recognize in time whether gas gliding is used against a person, and the sooner this is done, the easier it will be to deal with it. Many people want to immediately teach the aggressor, to take revenge on him, to re-educate him. Such events will only take away more energy, which is already selected by gas gliding. Therefore, it is important, first of all, to take measures to preserve their own ability to think and produce independent thoughts, to maintain high self-esteem and self-esteem.

Gazlighting how to resist? It is necessary to limit your communication with the gas lighter as much as possible and gradually break it forever. It is necessary to learn to live a life in which there is no place for pain and humiliation.

In order to resist gaslater should understand their own importance, to be confident. A person should calmly and confidently explain to the aggressor that he is confident in his normality, that his memory is in order, and he can reason logically. If the aggressor begins to transfer the conversation to another channel and makes attempts to humiliate the person again, make him stupid, you need to end the conversation and leave.

If the gas-lighter very often says that his victim is too forgetful, that she has “chicken brains”, you can try another way. If a person really himself feels that he may have deteriorated memory or attentiveness, then something should be done that will help preserve the necessary episode in memory: write in a notebook, on a voice recorder, ask someone from the outside to be present during a conversation with the aggressor.

No matter how touchy the words of a partner who uses gas-jeting are, it is always necessary to remember that there are no perfect people and there is no need to credit all the flaws to your account. It is necessary to remind of their own merits, to understand that they are not enough. If a person in a gas-lighter situation began to doubt his own psychological state, then he needs to analyze his behavior and answer some questions for himself. Is there a fear of going mad when, when communicating with loved ones, there is an uncontrollable anger, forgetfulness, and the tone of voice rises? Does a person feel comfortable in talking with these people? Is it possible to say that all problems, lack of balance, and doubts arise from communicating with them? Can these people provoke problems themselves?

In order for life in the constant experience of gaslighting, not to lead to serious emotional and psychological problems, it is necessary to leave the house more often, communicate with other people, talk to them about your problems, ask about the true assessment of your condition. The more a person closes himself, the more he winds himself up, admitting the thought of his own madness, the more he asserts the power of the manipulator over himself.

If it is difficult to cope with the problem yourself, then you need to go to the specialists: a psychotherapist who is able to give a person an adequate assessment of his perception; a family psychologist who will be able to identify that gas-floating is present in the family; to municipal institutions that will help solve the financial aspect of the family problem; to special social centers specializing in the protection of victims of violence.

In gaslighting, the weak link is the rapist himself, not the victim. It is he who suffers from the many flaws that he is trying to project onto the victim, thereby bestowing himself. A gas-lighter who points out to another person that it is his forgetfulness, imperfection, underdevelopment that causes all problems, in fact, he is afraid to admit that he himself made no less contribution to the problem, he is afraid to take responsibility and tries to preserve his own dignity at the expense of humiliation other, applying to him gaslighting.

If there is a complete lack of desire on the part of the aggressor to compromise or show passivity in overcoming the problem, it means that a person can no longer be remade and it is better to direct efforts towards improving oneself. For a person who survived gaslighting, rehabilitation is simply necessary to restore psychological health. There are many ways to help a person who survived a relationship in gaslighting, “get up”. A person who has experienced gaslighting has accumulated a lot of negative energy in him, so he needs to do something to release this energy. Sports, dancing, visiting interest clubs, various hobbies, traveling, volunteering, studying psychology, helping people in similar situations can help.

To completely move away from the former life, you can change the place of residence, work, change the environment. That is, to begin to change your life for the better than to try to fix a person who does not want it and only prevents to live a full life. If the psychological state of a person is too damaged, it is possible that it requires rehabilitation in special centers.