Psychology and Psychiatry

How to deal with child suicide

You do not know what is happening on the Internet with your child? Perhaps this is happening right now!

We live in an era of search culture. For a long time, requests on Google / Yandex have replaced the advice of loved ones for us, and with our devices, we sometimes spend much more time than with each other. What to speak about our children, who adopt everything from us, even the most destructive habits. It is more difficult for them to protect themselves from the information noise around, and yet the danger worth waiting for is from the open information space.

Despite the introduction of censorship, the ban on the promotion of violence, from year to year, suicide still threatens thousands of young people. In Russia, suicide statistics among children increase annually by an average of 30%. In just one last year (from November 2015 to April 2016), 130 (!) Cases of suicide of children were counted in Russia. Who and what causes our children to be so cruel to themselves?

Perhaps some teenagers are committing suicide on the Internet!

In recent months, VKontakte groups have been vigorously discussed in RuNet with the mysterious names “Wake me up at 4.20” or “Whales are swimming up.” These are the so-called "suicide clubs". They have hundreds of thousands of subscribers, and regular blocking by moderators of such communities only attracts the attention of the audience.

The administrators of these groups are adults and trained people who call themselves “personal suicide counselors”. They work with children, applying knowledge and skills in psychology, suggestion, and rubbing them into trust. Inviting to closed communities is played up in an entertaining way. For example, to join one of these groups, you must first send a photo with a cut hand - a signal of readiness for further action. And only then go to the second level, where you need to solve different puzzles, solve mystic puzzles. At the same time, in open access for all members of the group recipes of poisons and various methods of suicide are published. That, in fact, is a direct call to action.

According to the observer of Novaya Gazeta, Galina Mursaliyeva, there is much in common in all the recent suicides. For example, some children took off their jackets before taking the plunge, someone received SMS or calls, after which he committed suicide. Almost all of the victims were in closed communities that promoted death.

Children do not make this decision immediately and always in one way or another make it clear that something is wrong with them. You can save your favorite child, if you pay attention in time. But if the crisis has come and the emotional instability of the child on the face, use the advice of a psychologist:

  1. Help your child feel needed, do not forget to tell him about it. Without the support and attention of loved ones, children often feel that they are no longer needed in a large and complex world that scares them. Confusion, aggressive behavior and emotional instability accompany them in such a complex state.

Tip: A good indicator for this type of problem will be various games in which you need to model, design and create a whole of parts.

With their help, you have the opportunity to follow the child’s behavior, to understand how he positions himself and how he relates himself to the outside world. If a child is inclined to destroy already built mechanisms, and does not offer a new one in return, it is possible that he is offended and does not see a way out of the current situation. A similar method is applicable to various activities, whether it is homework or cooking dinner for the family. Remember that the child’s behavior during the game is a living projection of his personal way of solving problems, which means that the first alarm bells can be hidden here.

  1. Take an active part in the development of the child as a person. Talk about future prospects. Young people are often inclined to seek the meaning of life. In adolescents, a picture of the future is just being formed; they see either a very distant future or the current moment. Their failures or difficult life circumstances are perceived by them fatally, sometimes even a trivial deuce for a control can cause a nervous breakdown. And the fear of punishment becomes a reason to lie to parents.

Tip: You will not find any special methods, you need to act here intuitively and according to the situation. For example, make plans for the day, week, month. Show that you are ready to sacrifice a fresh manicure in order to take the child to the movies. Find out what your child wants, how he intends to achieve his goal, help him draw up a concrete (and realistic) action plan in which you must highlight an important role for yourself. Because it is thanks to you and with the help of your support that the child will grow up happy, confident and most loved. Joint planning of the future also helps to instill responsibility in the miracle.

  1. Become the best friend of your child. A child will tell his parents about his problems only if he trusts them. Otherwise, problem situations remain in the mind of the child, as their own failures, which no one helps him to survive. Sharp changes and forced adaptation to changes are perceived as a stressful situation. Often, moving to another area or transferring to a new school becomes lumpy in the throat; for easier connection with new conditions, the child needs the help of an adult. In the first place - the parent, and after the class teacher, coach, etc.

Tip: Focus on the inner world of the child, and not on external indicators. Much more important is what a child feels when, for example, brings a bad grade home, and not what the teacher says about him. Be vigilant and attentive to everything that happens to your child, make sure that he feels necessary and important.

  1. Stay informed about what your child is interested in. Many teenagers see suicide as a beautiful and heroic deed. In many ways, this is the fault of television and the Internet, which depict death in a distorted way, which allows adolescents to perceive this phenomenon inadequately. The infectiousness of suicide has been proven by the so-called Werther syndrome. Once in the unsafe information field, it is difficult for the child’s mind to absorb only what is useful for him and, along with important information, children absorb viral ideas.

Tip: Keep track of what is happening with your child online. Now there are many ways and tools that will help a loving parent know what their child is interested in on the Internet, with whom and about what he communicates in social networks and even mobile applications. As an example, I’ll give KidInSafe, with which you can monitor incoming and outgoing calls, read SMS messages, as well as messages sent and received in instant messengers, track the history of search queries and even see where your child is. At the same time, your child will never know that you have access to his mobile phone or tablet, since KidInSafe cannot be tracked.

  1. Contact a specialist in time. Sometimes, only a specialist will be able to see the problem behind external calmness and carelessness. At the moment, suicidology has gone far beyond psychotherapeutic assistance. Now this is a social problem.

Tip: Tragedy can be prevented if you provide assistance in time. As soon as you realize that for some reason you are unable to maintain contact with the child - contact a psychologist. In individual or family work with a specialist, you will master the necessary skills that will help you regain warmth, trust and peace in your relationship with your child.

Kornienko A.E.