Chastity is a psychological personality trait, made up of many factors and manifested as a limited ability or total absence of an emotional response to troubles and social experiences. Mental honesty means not only reducing the reaction to the events of the lives of those around you, but also the inability to manifest your own experiences quite openly and in the correct form.

The hardness of the soul is largely determined by the style of education and the traumas and other life events. So, boys are intentionally vaccinated with low emotional responsiveness, explaining this with masculinity and stereotypical views on the concept of a real man. Experienced emotional distress associated with relationships can reduce the sensitivity of a person due to the protective mechanisms of the psyche. Those who often fall into the situation of betrayal, and the relationship evolved from the point of view of self-interest, it is difficult to openly manifest tender aspects only because of the existing memory of the fact that in past similar conditions this led to serious emotional trauma that may not be taking place until now.

Toughness in relationships is increasingly explained precisely by the increased vulnerability of the inner world, which can only be saved by completely eliminating interaction at deep levels. The more a person shows that he is invulnerable and indifferent enough, the higher the chances that he will not be approached emotionally, and he himself will not give anyone the opportunity to approach in such a way as to cause injury again. In many situations, when a large amount of time passes, the hardness may be replaced by an abnormal level of emotional response, and supersensitivity.

What it is

Trying to understand that such callousness, many are beginning to confuse this concept with cruelty, arrogance, indifference, and many other manifestations of the human person. The problem is that many negative qualities, based on the manifestation of indifference and the absence of involvement in the problems of others, remain unclear for those who have normal sensitivity.

It is important to understand that callousness is the opposite of sincere openness, although it is not its synonym. If a person is in a state of anger, he sees only his needs, then he still continues to contact and vigorously react to another, with social isolation there is a bright desire to avoid others, there is neither one nor the other in hardness. When the hardness of people becomes total, society is threatened with extinction, since no one is able to care for others. The question of sincere openness remains there, because such a callousness is not only an understanding not available, how can you let in another person or share something secret with him, but in the manifestation of other people it is surprising to the point of misunderstanding.

The dependence of the degree of development of such an attitude towards the world has several tendencies, for example, men have more hardness than women. This is inherent in nature and necessary for the survival of the species - excessive sensitivity on the battlefield or at the time of the hunt can cost the life of the male and his family, but if the hardness is the leading feature of the woman, then the offspring risks not living to independent age. The more severe the living conditions, the higher the likelihood of a person becoming a callous and practically insensitive individual, and it doesn’t matter what the severity of the conditions is in - social interaction, intense activity or a real threat to life. But modern society promotes openness, tolerance, and evaluates such mental manifestations as negative, forgetting that any mental changes are necessary for the adaptation and realization of the task not only of survival as a physical body, but also as a spiritual being.

Problem of hardness

The main problem of hardness is that humanity evaluates it according to double standards. Remember, when people rush in at an inconvenient time and require help, it seems that it is far from sensitivity and understanding that who requires participation, this is perceived as violating boundaries, not respecting the time of another and acting in an inappropriate, insensitive way. At the same time, when a person himself finds himself in such a situation, a friend who has refused to support and chose his own affairs will seem tough to him.

In matters of interaction between men and women, callousness becomes a stumbling block, and the main complaints come from the ladies. This is a rather dishonest requirement, since they need openness and sensitivity exclusively in personal interaction, and in specific situations only clear to her. Nobody takes into account that if a person is open, he will be like this, and if he cannot show severity or indifference, some calmness and resistance to what is happening, then it will be so not only when problems concern the girl’s mental state of mind, but also in any critical situations.

Indifference in its high degree is callousness, which is why it is perceived as a social problem requiring solution. Living in a society where doctors do not respond to the complaints of patients, drivers do not monitor safety, people passing by may push or not provide first aid in case of a heart attack becomes unsafe. These are not crimes that are thought out for the purpose of benefits committed deliberately, these are not actions of antisocial elements - this is a personality trait for which it is impossible to break through. There is no remorse, and accordingly there are no attempts to change the situation, there are not even any attempts to understand the other, which means dialogue and constructive communication are impossible.

Now it is becoming so commonplace that it requires the study and development of prevention methods. So far it is only known that any cruelty, hardness and indifference arise at the place of high sensitivity, when it became painful. Undisturbed people with tactile hunger are closed from the world from the great need for warmth and the inability to receive it.

Encountered on the betrayal no longer open their arms and more and more convinced of the injustice of the world. Those who were not in intimacy and raised by emotionally cold parents have no idea how to live differently, and are not looking for other ways. Everyone can individually solve the problem of petrifying his own soul with the help of psychotherapy or, trying to trust people, look at their problems through their own lens or directly ask those who live other than to come to the same.

Examples of hardness

Life situations, where you can see manifestations of callousness, surround everyone. Those who are more fortunate are only available on the street, at the workplace, outside the house, but there are those who are confronted with the harshness of loved ones, hurting them much more than the coldness and indifference of ordinary passersby.

So, when a child complains to a parent about troubles at school, describing in detail that he was transplanted to another desk, and the girlfriend did not give her favorite purple pencil, then dismiss and not listen, asking about homework - this is callousness. A girl who continues to take care of her aging parents is not out of love and gratitude, but out of a sense of duty or guilt will involuntarily become callous. She will not come at the first call, will consider requests not essential, she will remain deaf to remarks about not speaking in an evil tone.

In interpersonal relationships, hardness can manifest itself when a guy continues to play a computer game, when a girl cries or is upset about what is happening. When you are left with your problems and go to bed without discussing a situation when they interrupt in the middle of a phrase, devaluating a monologue about feelings, this is about coldness. Not to take dinner in the evening from work or not to cook dinner, pull away from embraces or not to give up - small things, to pay attention to which it seems silly, to make comments useless, however this is manifestations of mental insensitivity.

In the outside world, handling animals can be examples of stinginess — kick a stray cat, move a dog when it was possible to roll, pass a wounded animal. Attitude towards strangers is also an indicator of emotional sensitivity. If someone fell on the street, will they give him a hand, if a person cries on a bench, will they ask what happened, will they offer help. Extreme cases of callousness can cost human life in situations where someone falls in a heart attack while in a crowded place, nearby pharmacies and hospitals, but dies because everyone is in a hurry about their business.

Toughness gives the ability to preserve one's psyche when viewing news feeds and understanding that this applies to others - there will be no nightmares out of hundreds of people killed, experiences how to change the situation and how to help.