Psychology and Psychiatry

Manipulator man

Manipulator man - is a person who, using manipulative techniques, influences others, uses them for his own selfish purposes. To determine what a manipulator man means, you should observe people from your environment. Such a person is almost always not satisfied with himself or others, he does not love and does not appreciate what he does. He treats his personal affairs as if he were willing to get rid of as quickly as possible.

The answer to the question of what a person is a manipulator can be found in Shostrom’s book, The Man-Manipulator. Everett Shostrom in his book "The Manipulator" painted eight of the most popular types of manipulator people.

Man-manipulator does not know how to catch pleasant moments and enjoy them. Experiencing strong feelings is also alien to him. The thoughts of such a person are very critical, he believes that after his youth in life there is no longer a place for entertainment, pleasure or self-development. Therefore, upon reaching a mature age, he begins to lead a stoic way of life, in which there is no place for spontaneity, fun, or philosophical reflections on the theme of his purpose in life.

The manipulator man is being improved only in one direction - the improvement of manipulation.

The manipulator man has a distorted view of the world, he likes to experience suffering, he is always justified, says that all misfortunes stem from his negative past experience, although this may not be true. Such an individual is very eager to receive a high rating, he cannot assess himself as he would like, therefore he feels undervalued, unrecognized.

No matter what method a person uses a manipulator, psychology hides his inferiority complex, and the person manipulator believes that this complex can be overcome only if you fight with yourself and with others. Few people know that a man-manipulator falls almost every day under the influence of manipulation. The psyche of people is designed so that it is too susceptible for any influences, only specially trained or very attentive people can avoid falling under the influence of a human manipulator.

An individual accustomed to the frequent use of manipulation techniques is lost in life, forgets how he really is, incapable of expressing himself or acting naturally. Can talk a lot about their feelings, but not to experience them completely.

Types of people manipulators

In order to understand what a manipulator man means, one must consider the characteristics and types of manipulators inherent to him.

The main characteristics of the person applying the manipulation:

- lies (methods and methods of fraud, maneuvers, acting out of emotions, roles, sticking behavior, desire to make an impression, false feelings and emotions);

- unawareness (boredom, apathy, inaction, lack of understanding of one’s place in life, perception only of what is important for one’s personality);

- control (presenting life as a chess game, controlling all who succumb, and building strategies against a stronger "rival");

- cynicism (complete distrust of all people, even relatives, division of people into those who control and those who obey).

In the book Man-Manipulator, Shostrom says that there are various people who have the characteristic manipulators, which are described below.

A dictator is a type of manipulator of a person who distributes decrees to everyone, and in case of disobedience, shouts and shouts. His tool is power, he controls and pushes others with the help of force, severity, rude expressions and harsh actions. A person with such traits and behavior unbearably craves power, finding it becomes an even more despot and tyrant.

A person like a "calculator" is a seemingly very educated person who communicates with many people, but in fact elects only those from whom he can benefit. Such an individual provides a lot of time to calculate the best and most profitable ways. In every life situation is guided by the desire to remain in a winning position. He is not interested in people, unless they represent a profitable acquaintance.

Manipulator man psychology claims that he works only in the direction of obtaining benefits from other people, is very lonely. Sometimes he feels sad about it, but often he likes this state of affairs.

Man-manipulator type "rag" - in his behavior is infantile, weak-willed and careless. He always complains, he rarely has a good mood. He wants to draw all the attention of people to himself, so that they feel sorry for him, understand, just be near. This type of manipulator often uses crying, hysteria, than quickly achieves the desired.

A “sticky” manipulator is a person who seeks to be under the control of another person; he wants to be controlled, driven. He is too intrusive, lazy and weak. He does not like to do something himself, he is always waiting for orders and such orders are genuinely to his liking.

The “judge” type of manipulative man is always a disgruntled person, and the scale of his discontent, simply global, it seems as if the whole world was guilty in front of him.

Manipulator man "judge" ascribes to all the various sins that these people did not commit. For him, every man is an enemy and a liar. On the face of such a person is clearly visible contempt.

Man-manipulator, such as "defender" - this is a man with a great desire to shield and justify the actions of loved ones. By this, he wants to show himself much smarter, fairer than others.

The man-manipulator "nice guy" is characterized by too pronounced kindness, which often renders insincerity. Such kindness is played out, intrusive, behind it lies the terrible intentions of a person. Often, after talking with such a person, people say that they are surprised how such a good person can be capable of some kind of big meanness.

A hooligan-type manipulator is a person who solves all problems in only one way - with his fists. If he doesn’t like something, he starts to get angry, someone doesn’t like him - he will beat him, a bad mood means that he will row up. Everyone is afraid of such a person, so they must obey him.

How to resist a manipulator person

As already known, there are various people characteristic manipulators, which are described above. Over time, the essence of such people is revealed, but it happens late, and the consequences will not return. Then there is still the option not to remain under the influence of such individuals, to know the rules, following which you can resist the manipulation and control of other people.

If the manipulator sees that he saw through, he begins to put pressure even more. Then it is necessary to tune in internally and firmly say that it can be sustained, and adhere to such a scheme to the end.

If a person tries in different ways to change the opinion of another person, you need to say to him: "I will think about it." Thus, the distance between the manipulator and the subject person is created. Before such a person, you need to almost immediately submit your desires, thoughts, and firm position. The main thing is to adhere to a clear position, despite the reaction (hysterical, tears, blackmail), which is very well rehearsed and lost a thousand times. You cannot allow the subjective views of one person to influence the flow of your own life, you should clearly understand your intentions, listen to the advice of smart people, but still do it your way.

It is required to find compromises, but so that the concessions are exactly the same on both sides. You need to voice your negative feelings about a situation or claims. It so happens that a person does not realize that he is a manipulator and is not aware of the infliction of emotional wounds to other people. If attempts to manipulate are noticed behind close people, then it is necessary to once again stop and ask yourself what is happening now. Thus, the habit of self-observation is developed, and over time you can find out your weak points, which the manipulator puts pressure on and work through them.

How to resist a man-manipulator? To learn how to resist manipulation, you need to know the limits of your personal space. You can not indulge in everything and everyone. It is necessary to separate those situations where the individual is fully capable of independently taking responsibility for himself and his actions and those situations in which one wants to do something, exclusively emerging from personal aspirations.

You can also use various techniques of self-control. For example, if an individual feels that he can now succumb to manipulation, then he can count up to a hundred, that is, give himself time to think, and not succumb to the first sweeping impulses. If a person knows how to take his emotions and feelings under control, he becomes independent, and the manipulator, seeing that the expected effect is not, another time will not act in this direction or even switch to a weaker person.

Only a self-confident person who is able to keep emotions under control, knows his capabilities and clearly defines the boundaries of personal space will not often fall victim to manipulation.