Psychology and Psychiatry

How to part with a married man

How to part with a married man? A ringed man, like a spider, lures young pretty women into their own networks, absorbing them completely. After all, young ladies give preference to experienced and mature partners, serious, successful and capable of blaming their own persona for everything that happens to him in life. In addition, there is a sign of quality on a married male. Once he was elected to create a marriage, he is worth it. However, the novel with the "married", if you remove the moral aspect, then in addition to the pleasure in itself harbors pain and disappointment. After all, a very rare man dares to break the family bond for the sake of his mistress.

Often, intrigues with non-free partners end in nothing or a depressive state. And therefore, as soon as the veil fell from my eyes, and it dawned on the understanding that the “zhenika” was arranging life in a lie, that he was not going to leave the family, it was necessary to urgently stop all interaction with him.

Reasons for parting

An affair with a ringed man is a dead-end road. The man initially made his choice in favor of the spouse, but from natural promiscuity, permissiveness, the desire to assert himself for a pleasant addition, or because of other motives, he acquired a mistress. And even if the beloved decides to leave the faithful, he can always think. After all, with his wife, the man went through "fire and water" and many domestic problems. In addition, the ringed lover is puzzled by the choice, as a result of which he constantly produces a mental comparison of the mistress and the married woman.

To be the beloved of a married man, contrary to popular judgments, is by no means as rosy as it seems. Indeed, despite the regular short-term rendezvous, giving parts of happiness, loneliness still remains nearby. Then comes the realization that the beloved is deceiving and only feels in vain hopes, because he does not plan to leave the family and create a new one with his mistress. In such an expectation, days pass, weeks run through, months go by, and the dream of a family idyll with a bunch of kids and a beloved spouse is becoming more and more remote and ghostly. And here the question naturally arises: how to part with a married man whom you love? First of all, you should adequately motivate yourself to this step. Weigh all the minuses of the position of the mistress and resolutely proceed to the intended.

The reasons for breaking the vicious bond, built on lies and giving only short-lived moments of happiness, so quickly replaced by loneliness and disappointment can be called a mass.

In the first turn it is necessary to understand that this gentleman is in a relationship, that is not free. He made his choice earlier. And if a man wanted to create a family with his mistress, he would have already taken this step, and since he is marking time, he needs an intrigue only for a change and self-affirmation. So why invest soul, strength, time, give love, affection and participation to someone who does not need it? After all, around a lot of guys who urgently need the tenderness of the woman he loves.

According to statistics, approximately only 5% of ringed males sever family ties in order to leave to the beloved on the side. At the same time, the same disappointing statistics show that more than half of the infidels who left their spouses after a short period of time are returning to their usual "native penates." After all, there are their faithful companions there, always ready to support in difficult moments of life, beloved children, comfort, and well-adjusted life. Male sex is suspicious and fearful of change, so it’s scary and simply lazy to build relationships from the zero level, and why, if you can change your body with your mistress without changing anything, while away the soul with your family and your soul.

Rare rendezvous with his mistress filled with joy. They can be compared with the candy-bouquet stage in the relationship: there are no quarrels, the young lady is always beautiful and sweet, seeks to please her lover, in order to bind more tightly, there are no everyday problems. So why should he change such a lifestyle? After all, today's mistress, who gives unforgettable moments of happiness, tomorrow turns into a tortured life and always dissatisfied with his wife, demanding the performance of some duties.

The family should be an outlet for the person, the only stronghold where they always wait, help and listen. However, family relations, in addition to the holiday, are filled with gray everyday life, where each participant is endowed with certain responsibilities, because of attempts to avoid quarrels and misunderstandings. Therefore, feelings for a mistress can sink into oblivion, only the girl becomes a legitimate spouse. And this probability is quite high. It is because of this reason that married gentlemen very rarely destroy the marriage union in order to become ringed lover.

A non-free man constantly lies - he deceives his spouse while staying with his mistress, comes up with non-existent excuses for his mistress when he needs to spend time with his family. He turns in this series of lies every day, gradually taking a similar mode as the norm. Therefore, if he dares to change his habitual way of being and surrenders again to the bonds of Hymen, then you should not be in the illusion that he will become an exemplary family man. The man has already felt the taste of betrayal and it is unlikely the presence of a new wife will stop him before another adultery. The only exception may be true love and fear of destroying the dear union. But practice reveals that in most men's intrigues love is not present, only lust reigns there, the desire to escape from annoying reality, the desire for change, self-assertion and falling in love at first.

Mistress has no rights a priori. She is forbidden to call when there is a desire, write cute sms with wishes of sweet dreams, take a joint photo for instagram, introduce you to your family. She is always in the shade.

Mistress, being in a relationship with a ringed cavalier, does not feel the stability and security. Young femina can not count on such a man. After all, her life takes place in a series of waiting for an early meeting and grieving, when the plans failed, because the spouse urgently needed to bring her to the salon. A married lover chooses when he wants to see his mistress when he is not.

Mistress for the unfree men, like the energy "donor". Inspired by the emotional “feeding”, the man is becoming more successful, which undoubtedly pleases his legitimate spouse, who is in unconditional confidence in the faithfulness of the pious, and therefore believes that the success of the spouse is entirely her merit. In marriage, love and harmony reign in them, while the true culprit at night sobs into the pillow, wasting her own energy potential necessary to attract her man.

A woman, being in intimate connection with a busy man, loses precious time, her beauty fades and decays the faith in the bonds of Hymen and love. Therefore, if a girl got into a dangerous bondage that has been lasting for a year, she needs to know how to part with her beloved married man.

This question is eternal. Probably, since the birth of the first family, the first mistresses appeared. Women of all epochs made this cruel mistake - a love affair with a bandaged bearer. Plunging into the maelstrom of networks of married voluptuous, the young charmer do not realize what awaits them: these cute creatures voluntarily surrender to illusory happiness, euphorically forgotten, listening to the beautiful words of the elect of insane love and "bitch" to the wife, wasting her own potential for illusory dreams.

Tips for a psychologist how beautiful it is to part with a married man

Modern figures in the field of psychology are convinced that often the relationship with the family gentleman arises either among young naive young ladies, waiting for princes can be horseless, but preferably with a car, or among ladies who have previously been disappointed in love relationships. Also, women with low self-esteem, offended, abandoned, tired of exhausting "serious" relationships, are more likely to get married. For the most part, the behavior of girls who prefer to walk in their mistresses is ruled by the fear of loneliness, the desire to "underpot" life, to diversify the routine existence.

There are several main motives that explain the preference of the beautiful half to start an affair with ringed lovers. In the first turn this contributes to the natural romance of girls losing their heads from the persistent courtship of an attractive gentleman. At the beginning of courting, they don't care about the marital status of the chosen one, since they do not consider him as a serious challenger, but gradually the feeling of easy falling in love prevails and the naive young ladies plunge deeper into love bliss, which is more difficult to refuse with every passing moment.

Also the ladies are being pushed onto the path of the novels with married gentlemen with the conviction that they are not made for marriage bonds, that all decent family men have been dismantled before them, therefore from the "hopelessness" they choose the role of a mistress.

Some young ladies are simply looking for a rich partner for financial support. Choosing such men, they are counting on material security, expensive gifts, trips abroad. The desire for financial security in such persons is so high that they can get pregnant or specifically destroy the family, not for the sake of happiness with their beloved, but in order to get better in life.

Sometimes femins meet with ringed cavaliers in order to assert themselves. These ladies are interested in intimate relationships without commitment, the atmosphere of incessant flirting, exciting "secret" rendezvous. They do not aspire to enter into family relationships, therefore relations without obligations completely suit them.

It happens that the relationship with a linked bond Hymen partner are based on love, or rather on the feeling that a girl takes for love. The young lady agrees to the affair with a busy man, secretly dreaming about creating a strong family with him. Inspired by the feeling of being in love, tormented by passion, caressed by tenderness, touched with compliments and gifts, convinced that the legitimate spouse of the chosen one and the desire of the man to leave the despot wife are disgusting, she is ready to wait to get the beloved. However, the young lady does not understand that such a relationship is a dead end, so if a girl really loves a married lover, then it is necessary to break such a bond.

On how to part with a married man, psychologists have written many articles and developed a lot of recommendations. Below are a few highlights.

Finally decide on the termination of a fatal relationship will help the classic way, which consists in calculating the advantages of the existing relationship and their disadvantages. On the paper sheet, divided in half, the positive sides of the bond break should be noted on the left, and the negative sides on the right. Here you need to be honest with your own person and objective. It should be noted absolutely all the advantages, not throwing away some, considering them to be insignificant. The number of such advantages and their quality should serve as a solid motive for breaking the novel with the "married".

Farewell must be radical. It is necessary to prepare a speech containing, without exaggeration, an objective reality, inconveniences experienced by a woman in these relationships and experiences. The ringed partner needs to realize that their relationship makes the beloved unhappy. Understanding unselfish person will understand and let go without reproach. The last communication in the relationship should establish a bullet point. Since endless conversations and postponing the solution of a problem will only lead to a tightening of a tormenting soul, it will bring pain and a lot of anxiety.

If a cavalier does not want to hear about the termination of an intimate relationship, throws promises, demands to meet, then it is recommended to change - to become indifferent, rude, always dissatisfied, capricious. A married man wants to part with the young lady when she stops giving him the desired emotions. The male half acquires mistresses, as a rule, in order to escape from routine existence and everyday problems, because every rendezvous with a sweetheart is like a mini holiday filled with bright emotions when everything else becomes insignificant.

To treat breaking up with a married man should be like getting rid of bad habits - difficult, but vital.

You should not swear and fall to reproaches at parting. Discussion is possible only when there is a chance to establish relationships. With a break with a married gentleman, there is no such chance, even if he slanders with joyful news of the breaking of the bonds of Hymen.

How to behave after breaking up

First of all, it is recommended to completely stop any interaction with a former friend. He may begin to seek out reasons to meet, will guard at the entrance, constantly nazvanivat and endlessly write sms and then the question arises, how to part with a married man, if he does not let go? In this case, it is necessary to ignore any of his attempts to establish contact. After all, if you give up the slack, the relationship will resume again, but their rupture is also inevitable, since the very state of things will not change. The result is sad - loneliness. It is extremely difficult for young ladies to work here, along with not free lovers. In such situations, it is recommended to think about the transfer or dismissal.

In order to minimize the likelihood of contacts with an abandoned married gentleman, you can block him in social networks, the phone book, applications in smartphones intended for communication. You can also change the SIM card.

In addition, in order not to stir up the memories and nostalgia, you need to remove or hide joint photos well, everything that can somehow remind you of a partner. Otherwise, he "squeezes out all the juice" and leaves the mistress to glue the pieces of the heart alone.

Abroad it is common with any problem situations to contact a personal psychologist in order to speak out. In the post-Soviet states, this is not accepted. To speak out and get spiritual support, they need a close friend and drink to help them relax and eliminate the restraint. When a person is tormented by heartache, he needs to speak out in order to feel relief. Therefore, it is recommended to release the next evening, buy wine and go on a visit to a close friend. She can be trusted with everything, tell about her own feelings, about how difficult it is to share a lover with another, about fatigue from a secondary role.

If there is no opportunity to talk with a close friend, or you want loneliness, then you can throw out all the boiling in the epistolary genre, everything that prevents you from living a full life, all the pain and resentment.

In addition, modern technologies allow you to communicate with completely strangers, while on your own couch. Social networks, forums of various kinds are simply teeming with interesting people.

After all, it is not without reason that outsiders can sometimes provide better support than close ones.