Perfectionism - This is the position of a person, in relation to which absolutely everything must be done in an ideal way. Perfectionism can have a pathological form, then it reveals a position in which a non-ideal result becomes unacceptable for a person. Not all people know what it is perfectionism, since the use of this term arose not too long ago. Perfectionism can be a characteristic of a completely healthy individual, or be a neurotic disorder.

To understand what it is perfectionism, it is necessary to consider its aspects, signs and causes.

The term perfectionism means the word perfection, the desire to do everything perfectly.

Personal perfectionism is manifested in self-censoring and an invincible attraction to impeccability.

Perfectionism aimed at others is expressed in high demands made to them, rejection of disorder and the habit of disorder.

Perfectionism aimed at the world - the position of the individual, asserting about the universal order, the norms of which are determined by one individual.

Socially determined perfectionism is the need to always meet the expectations of others, to act on their established standards.

What is perfectionism - the definition

There are several signs of perfectionism: scrupulousness and increased attentiveness to minor details; the desire to bring each act to the ideal; aggressive form of depressive human behavior.

What is perfectionism? This is the desire to bring everything to the state of perfection, which is expressed:

- in the excessive concentration of the individual on the mistakes of others and personal;

- strong doubts about the speed and quality of the performance of its activities;

- excessive standards, leading to a visible decrease in satisfaction with the fruits of their activities;

- great susceptibility to high expectations;

- strong susceptibility to criticism.

Perfectionism, as a quality can fully satisfy a person, because it teaches him to be disciplined. If it makes it difficult to live fully, to be mentally balanced, then it is worth finding out what caused the emergence of this quality.

The reasons for perfectionism, as well as many other mental disorders, are rooted in childhood, or rather in upbringing. If the child was raised in an authoritarian family, then he acquires the syndrome of an excellent student, he will develop perfectionism. Such a child proves that he deserves attention and encouragement of his too strict parents.

Parents with an authoritarian educational style love to put children on too high levels, leading to nervous exhaustion. If children cannot reach the established "standards", then they are amenable to psychological violence or physical punishment.

Perfectionism - the meaning of the word is often incorrectly interpreted in the everyday sense. So, perfectionism is often confused with a person’s strong passion for any kind of activity, which is not correct. A child who is a victim of domestic tyranny will naturally strive to work out his shortcomings intensively. In contrast to the common workaholic, such a child will take for his goal to make the necessary task not only qualitatively, but flawlessly. This is what becomes the goal of the future life of the child, who will become an adult perfectionist.

Healthy perfectionism in work is found in leadership qualities, great efficiency, motivation, activity. In this case, the individual very soberly assesses real abilities.

Healthy perfectionism in the work can go to the degree of light excitement or excitement. An individual who has a healthy perfectionism, concentrates on personal potentials and ways to achieve the goal.

Perfectionism refers to a very controversial concept. So supporters of perfectionism believe that the obsessive desire of a person to be perfect makes him a master. Others consider perfectionism as tediousness.

Perfectionism does not allow an individual to stop; he incites him to the incessant development and learning of the new. However, the following remains unclear: are character traits the result of acquired perfectionism, or are the traits themselves conducive to the education of perfectionism.

The desire to be absolutely perfect is a fairly commendable quality, until it develops into an obsessive and pursuing desire to achieve an exceptionally perfect result, by correcting what will no longer require correction. Such a person in vain spends personal time to achieve a practically unachievable goal, since there is already an ideal level of its fulfillment.

Thus, perfectionism forms a stable circulation, as a result of which it turns out that a person does not do anything significant for a long time. He gets something a little better, but later it all comes down to the fact that "improvements" require significant rework. Therefore, the process itself becomes a boring routine that requires a considerable amount of time and effort, which is a real catastrophe for personalities of creative inclinations or professions.

Individuals with pronounced perfectionism may establish too strong a connection between their own sense of personal importance and performance. It turns out that a lot of time is spent on attention to unnecessary or unimportant details, which, of course, noticeably slows down the pace of all the work, reducing the overall productivity.

A person with perfectionism is prone to waiting for the emergence of special conditions that will contribute to the fact that the ideal result of activity could be presented immediately, completely in its finished form. Such a person spends a large amount of time, paying too much attention to the secondary details of the final product of the activity. Often, such things lose their original zest, as a result they look artificial.

Persons with perfectionism, in order not to spoil their flawless image, are able to very gracefully hide their mistakes or not embody intentions in their actions. Such people consider their position in life to be all or nothing. It turns out that while perfectionists expect ideal conditions to come true, other people prefer to act in the present, even if they make mistakes.

Sometimes two concepts are used together - perfectionism and procrastination. Procrastination is the tendency of a person to postpone the beginning of any work in order to fulfill them ideally. The problem of this behavior lies in the fact that the beginning of the case may not come, because the longer it is postponed, the more depressing and unpleasant it seems.

Perfectionism and procrastination are concepts that expire from one another, as an ardent perfectionist procrastinates until he feels that everything is going perfectly, but this may not be the case.

Perfectionism is a quality that causes trouble not only to the perfectionist and the environment, it has a negative effect on the economic condition of a person. For example, a person who does not know how to invest in the deadlines set aside for the assignment must begin anew or ask for a continuation of time, which often entails material costs.

It is very important to determine what the reasons for perfectionism are, which makes people restlessly striving for the ideal. Many believe that all mental disorders or psychological abnormalities are generated during childhood. They are almost right, but one cannot argue so radically. For example, the reasons for perfectionism may appear in adulthood.

The pace of the modern world dictates new rules, everyone wants the work to be executed perfectly. So, at work or in schools, institutions, people place very high demands on them, often their fulfillment seems unattainable, but a person has to make efforts that he "squeezes out" himself to show the perfect result.

Those who set the rules, and the external framework, do not realize how negatively this affects the health of the individual. If you can not achieve an absolute result, although the person is laid out as much as possible, he begins to doubt his knowledge and strength. The conclusion suggests itself that one can achieve perfect success only by becoming the most ideal student or employee, which actually forms perfectionism.

The reasons for perfectionism originate in childhood. Parenting style has a direct impact on the formation of perfectionism. If parents raise children using an authoritarian style, making great demands on the child, all the time he is evaluated and compared with the rest of the children, with classmates or friends. Gradually, the child develops the principle - when I do everything perfectly, I love me, if I make a mistake, they will stop loving me.

Thus, many factors influence the upbringing of the child’s exaggerated demands (that is, perfectionism) - a constantly changing assessment, positive acceptance of the child only when successful, lack of stability (one day is good, the second is already bad), lack of sincere trust in parents (child is time worries, that will make a mistake and will disappoint them).

The second example demonstrates that perfectionism can be formed because parents are perfectionists themselves, according to this they are raising a child. They teach that everything should always be excellent and not otherwise - this is the basic rule of perfectionism.

Another type of reasons for perfectionism from childhood is the style of upbringing in which the parents allow the child everything. They make efforts so that the child cannot face failure, so that he does not have to work too hard, they smooth out all the sharp corners of the child’s contact with difficulties, create artificial situations of success and reward him for them. Such "too kind" parents do not realize that they are making a huge mistake.

When a child grows up, he undoubtedly faces the realities of life, he is unprepared for this meeting. This child feels inconsistent as to what he had to face and what was previously in his experience, he suffers from failure, because his goals seem to be unattainable. As a result, the child will believe that he may become a loser, therefore he will try not to fall into unfavorable situations, but will try to do his best to become better. This overwhelming aspiration leads to the foundation of perfectionism.

If perfectionism is expressed in moderation, then everything is fine, if these are extreme forms of behavior, then this greatly complicates the personal life of the person and affects his environment. It is quite difficult for an adult perfectionist to find friends, start a family, and not criticize loving people. He tries to make everyone conform to his rules and principles, which are really hard to follow.

No one dares to say that perfectionism is a bad and unnecessary quality of personality, the main thing in which "doses" it is. If the perfectionism is “normal”, not bordering on a mental disorder, it will serve as a driving force for the person, will stimulate the personality, contribute to the achievement of success, improve the standard of living.

Pathological perfectionism, on the contrary, impedes the development of personality, will contribute to the destruction of the personality itself, everything around, and the quality of life in general. The owners of the “syndrome of excellence” (perfectionism) are obliged to know how well they can use their character traits and direct them to the proper course.

The pathological form of perfectionism has such an impact, in which a person’s life position changes, he declares that others are obliged to comply with them. Thus, the perfectionist consciousness stimulates the person to push everything under his frame and embrace the rest in them.

A perfectionist can be infinitely reminded that he has problems regarding the perception of the world and himself, saying that he sets high and exorbitant inquiries and goals, which he intends for himself, which are often unrealistic to achieve. But one can only waste time, since the perfectionist’s reaction to all statements to him will be denial, protection of one’s own positions and rejection of the opinion of another person.

If, over time, the perfectionist himself realized that he feels the complexity of his being, using such attitudes, or life itself makes adjustments and he is forced to look at himself, to understand that life positions are not constructive, only then, perhaps, a person will want to change. It is impossible to eradicate the perfectionist installations until the end, but it is quite possible to concentrate them in a constructive way and modify them a little.

How to get rid of perfectionism

How to deal with perfectionism? This is a question that takes not so much the perfectionist himself as those around him. Those who often fall in contact with a perfectionist complain of his demanding behavior.

To overcome perfectionism, a person must adhere to certain techniques. Before starting the implementation of a specific task, it is necessary first to formulate the goal itself, then the criteria for which it will be possible to determine the qualitative performance of the task. Next, you should create an installation for the inadmissibility of "task overrun". Then it turns out that thanks to the criteria and the installation, the person will be able to understand that he has completed the task, and the "over-result" will not be necessary for anyone.

In a number of criteria for a successful outcome should be included the price of achievement. Often through persecution for quality, perfectionists forget about price. Therefore, it is necessary to clearly define the boundaries of an acceptable price for the result. This price must be made up not only of money alone, but also of the forces expended, health and negative experiences.

Also, the list of criteria should include the time spent on achieving the goal. Not only will the task be completed well, it must be completed in time. Therefore, it is extremely important to establish a time frame, beyond which it is necessary to stop increasing the quality of performance.

If a person is worried about his behavior, he wants to change himself, and he is interested in how to deal with perfectionism, then the main thing is to understand that it is impossible for everyone to like and work so that everyone can please. If you like the result of the work, and the person performed it, then you do not need to overdo it. Anyway, there are individuals who do not like the result. Actually, therefore, there is no need to correct your report, plan, presentation, or other work result a hundred times. Perhaps not everyone will be delighted with the work presented, but one hundred percent will find those who like everything, or even find it perfect.

Developing the ability to delegate affairs will help a person in getting rid of perfectionism. Persons with perfectionism are very hard to entrust the other person with the job, because they are nervous and doubt the quality of the performance. This often happens in group work, when workers or students are divided into subgroups, given to them the task and to the implementation, which everyone must contribute. The perfectionist is not trusting of the abilities of other personalities, and takes upon himself the responsibility for all the fulfillment.

That is why a perfectionist should start learning to shift a certain part of responsibilities to others. This should not be directly related to work only. You can start with household chores: ironing, cooking, cleaning. The main thing is to entrust the work to others and not to observe the process, not to redo it later in our own way. Gradually, people get used to it.

Let the work is not done well, but do not dwell in search of flaws. A person who wants to reduce the manifestation of obsessive makeovers should not forget to make a list of upcoming cases for tomorrow. After compiling, carefully re-read, sift out important tasks and save only the most significant and urgent ones. So, you do not have to keep everything in your head, tasks will be completed faster, because looking at the list, the individual will see that there is no time to modify or correct something, because you need to do more things.

How to deal with perfectionism? This will help compile a list of losses that have occurred from the increased demands on life, others and to themselves. A person should think about how many wonderful moments of life he missed, how many relatives he lost, the nerves he and his relatives spent.

It is necessary to analyze your fears about not being executed. If a person is afraid not to have time to do it perfectly, it means you need to start doing, and not procrastinate, and if the deadline has arrived, then you need to show the result, what it is at that time. Any mistake should be taken as part of the path to success. Ошибки формируют опыт, научившись на них один раз, можно предугадать вероятное повторение ошибки.

Необходимо научиться определять и разделять главное и менее важное. Именно своевременность есть критерием качества. Therefore, in the process of work, there is no need to dwell on tiny details and their processing, it is necessary to highlight the main aspects and work on them.

If there is a possibility, then you should take a break to evaluate the result of the work with a fresh look. There is a high probability that it will not be as bad as it seemed at once. Once a week there must be a mandatory rest. Having a rest, it is required to forget about work, forthcoming and past affairs, simply to undertake absolutely nothing.

When reviewing your to-do list, it is important to highlight in it such a task that can be accomplished not one hundred percent, allow imperfection, only not in a serious matter. For example, instead of a jacket, wear a cardigan, comb your hair differently, change the habits in individual nutrition, make adjustments to the mode of the day. Gradually, an understanding will come that without perfectionism it is much more interesting and easier to live.