Psychology and Psychiatry

How to part with her husband

An important step of separation must be thought out not only from the point of view of its own security, but also because it is better to make serious changes when any efforts made to preserve the existing relationship have failed. Many try to part with their husband without scandal, others prefer to leave accents on the material side and get more benefits - whatever the reasons for choosing parting, it’s better not to do this process, guided solely by emotional surges. It is worth considering not only how to part with her husband, but also moral questions concerning the wording of speech, as well as quite everyday questions about where someone will sleep the next night, how to provide for themselves and what to say to children.

Psychologist's advice on how to part with your husband

Negatives obtained during the divorce process can traumaticly affect all subsequent life, remembering the pain and taking trust in the world. Psychologists give some advice on how to safely part with my husband, providing minimal harm to his and his own psyche. Initially, it is necessary to figure out whether the decision was made by the woman herself, then from the position and understanding that everything is happening, since the necessary words and states themselves must be found. And if there is even a bit of regret, then you should not look for options on how to part with your changed husband, and trying to look for points of contact and strength for forgiveness, just like breaking family ties because of bad habits or small flaws does not make sense if passed the stage of talking about what is happening and finding options for a successful solution.

Do not wait for the joyful perception of this news, the man does not like when the necessary actions are dictated to him and will with all his strength resist what is happening. You know that the spouse has an explosive nature - collect things and take them out while he is not at home, and conduct the conversation in neutral territory. This will provide you protection and the ability to leave without injury and blackmail. You are afraid that you will be persuaded for a long time, do not want to see men's tears, then show the rigidity of the position from the very first words of the conversation.

You can always collect his things and change the locks, stopping communication on the physical level, the only thing is to be careful not to violate legal norms.

Consider options for how to part with your husband in a good way, because this person was dear to you and perhaps still has warm feelings for you. Speak honestly and openly, and do not over tighten - all the time you need should be spent only to make sure that the decision is correct, and the remaining delays will only aggravate the situation. Be sure to explain to your husband the reasons for leaving, listen to his claims, and possibly suggestions to change the situation. If you initially tune in to a dialogue, then as a result, divorce may be over, bringing a new round of development to the relationship.

Painlessly

Absolutely painless termination of relations is possible when people become so indifferent to each other so that the loss of a partner is comparable to the disappearance of the usual cushion. In all other cases, the pain will be present, and not only for the ex-husband, but also for the woman who decided to end the relationship, because the psyche is forced to completely rebuild in another way of being, change the habits that have developed over the years and fill the void that appeared after separation.

You can part with your husband and reduce the number of unpleasant experiences if you do everything quickly, as soon as you realize that you are no longer on the way. You should not stretch the confession, speak with hints or try to force the spouse to leave with her own actions - this is how the agony continues, which does not bring either a resolution of the situation or the possibility of peaceful communication afterwards. Make sure that an important conversation does not coincide with any significant date, for example, a birthday or your engagement, little-suited and work events, because the corporate will put down your morale and will not allow you to be distracted.

Speak honestly, not trying to cheer up your husband and leave his self-esteem at a height, because after the stories he is wonderful, the question is why the separation will pulsate in my head all the time and not find the answer. Pity yourself, not agreeing to the offer to try everything again, because where a decision to terminate a relationship has already arisen, there can be no complete trust, people do not change radically, but the number of claims and unfulfilled expectations can increase significantly. If you want to smooth out unpleasant moments, then strain your memory and find what it is worth to thank this man, because you did not choose him for nothing, it means there was a lot of good done. Speak about the true causes of the gap, so you will protect a person from agonizing thoughts in search of your own shortcomings, and eventually you may even hear gratitude for your openness.

Stay friends

The possibility of normal communication, divorced former spouses, is necessary in many situations, it becomes especially acute if there is a child or a joint business, as well as any other options that link life and doom to periodic, but constant interaction.

To remain friends with her husband, it is necessary that the separation itself takes place peacefully. Eliminate very offensive words, do not use your knowledge of the sick places of each other, avoid blackmail, violence and any anti-human actions. Of course, in the process of discussing a divorce, very interesting details can emerge, not only of the personality of her own spouse, but also of secret affairs, then the decision on friendship can be revised, but initially sit down at the table of calm negotiations.

Do not expect friendly communication immediately after the dissolution of the marriage, because the mind will naturally perceive the former as a soul mate. Feelings need time to cool down and reformat, so try to live in different areas or at least leave for a while if it is impossible to organize a new territory with minimal meetings. Do not call and do not write the first time, also you should not invite for holidays and congratulate on all sorts of events, it is better to even disappear, and only then gradually appear and build a new communication.

When communication is restored again, make sure that in your interaction there is a minimum of physical contacts, get-togethers in cozy cafes with half-light, and even more so in the kitchen and other near-romantic moments. Especially if one of the spouses is still single. The more such warm meetings you have in your interaction, the higher the chance that ex-spouses will turn into real lovers who are forced to hide their relationship. If the former husband has already managed to acquire a new passion, then show respect for her, because friendship cannot be built where there is jealousy.

If he does not want

Divorce is difficult to issue if one of the parties is against such a decision. A husband can make a scandal, connect relatives, blackmail children or refuse to give consent at all. Legally, there is a procedure that allows a divorce even without the consent of the other party, the only thing is that it takes a lot of time and more nerves will be spent, but in the end you will get a divorce forcibly.

To part with her husband, if he does not want, you must avoid accusations and pity, excessive gratitude and praise. Your goal is to eliminate any polar emotions, so as not to inflate his state, but to spend the whole procedure as calmly as possible. In order to properly influence a resisting opponent, it is necessary not only to select the correct formulations in advance, but also to rehearse. Listen to how you pronounce key phrases, think over your answers to unexpected questions, and most importantly arguments to his insistent offer to stay together.

For communication, it is better to choose a neutral place that allows you to control emotional manifestations (in humans, we usually better control our outbreaks of affects), as well as physical obstacles (forced retention). When you realize that you will not be released, there is an advance preparation with the organization of the place where you will live in the future and the export of things while he is not at home. You may need to enlist the support of several friends. If nothing has helped and he has blocked all ways of withdrawal, then you can begin to oppose within the family - flirt with other men, chat with strangers, use a separate shelf in the fridge, a separate tube of toothpaste, buy your own bread, etc. The more there will be a demonstration that you leave, even if he does not let go, the faster he will think about the futility of his actions.

If he doesn't love you

The question of parting in the absence of love on the one hand is absurd, because why keep the relationship, not pleasing someone from the participants, on the other hand arises very often. During a divorce, ideas may arise that you can live with someone who is cold - it's just a fear of loneliness, and not a desire for a happy life. That is, when the question arises whether to do this, the answer is unequivocal - yes, it is necessary to divorce someone who does not like you, it only remains to settle other issues that make them hold on to these relations. For some, these are children, for others, wealth and the usual standard of living, for which you can be patient, but the question of how much spiritual strength remains.

There is no advice on how to divorce a man who does not love you, because usually there are no problems with this. Without any particular affection, the person easily agrees to the dissolution of the marriage. Trying to choose the wording is also not particularly necessary, you just say the reason for the lack of love, it is rather difficult to change, it is impossible to play or to cheat. Difficulties arise only when a man without feeling feelings keeps a woman with his wife for the sake of status, benefit or domestic convenience, then he is unlikely to easily agree to let you go, but all his behavior will be dictated by consumer interest.

You can part with your husband if he doesn’t love you by giving him guarantees of future convenience - these are websites with service personnel and a promise to arrange a nice parting so that his business reputation does not suffer.

When a man does not love a woman and continues to keep her close against her will and no care options work, then it is quite possible to seek help from law enforcement agencies, since such a situation is interpreted as violence against a person and her freedom. There are suitable options for applying to specialized social services for victims of domestic violence or a regular escape to friends with the collected things, and the registration of a divorce through a forced court.