How to stop loving man - This is a frequent question that is addressed to psychologists. The relationship process is dynamic and at a certain stage it happens that the best for these relations will be their termination. It is not only about real relationships, but the principle of unrequited love is the same. When a person does not receive response emotions in reality, he is inclined to fantasize about how good or how it would be. The slightest signals that I would like to interpret as positive in their own way also feed illusions. And a person falls in love with the image of a person created in his fantasy and his relationship with him.
If the communication or relationship was, then by the time the question "how to stop loving a loved one" emerged, they disappeared and the partner feels emptiness and frustration. Often there is a feeling of one’s own powerlessness over the feeling that a person must nourish.
In the first, acute period of rupture, you want to close and distract yourself, which is the healthy desire of the psyche to survive excessive pain. To be yourself, to be distracted and forget when any contact with the theme of love is painful and traumatic for the person. But the acute period passes, the first pain subsides, and further actions will be the basis for the individual's ability to form relationships in the future and experience feelings of mutual love. Although after parting it seems that there is already no strength for the relationship, the heart gave up the last piece, and this will not happen again, we must remember that this is an illusion. Having gone through the path of recovery, you can restore the ability to love, it is important not to limit yourself to this opportunity, ignoring this need, depriving it of sources of development and denying the ability for spiritual regeneration.
How to stop loving a man you love so much?
After parting, when it comes to the understanding that the relationship is at a dead end or there is absolutely no reciprocity, the person seeks help and advice. Discussing with relatives, friends and a psychologist, a person wants to find peace and get an answer to the question - how to quickly stop loving a person?
Often a person does not want to renounce love, because it belongs to those feelings that have great value in life. And sometimes the only motivation for abandoning it may be the presence of its sincere foundation. It is love for another that can lead to getting rid of feelings for him, because there is an understanding that only negative emotions can bring one's feelings to a loved one.
Love is a mutual process and involves the exchange of emotions between people. Unilaterally, the feelings of such a force have a destructive effect on all participants, filling one with excessive pressure, depriving the other of the forces and leading it to emotional, psychological exhaustion. This is well displayed in the creative heritage, so watching good romantic films, listening to music can improve perception and give an understanding of the total investment in love and the need to leave, in order not to apply emotional torture to your loved one when you demand feelings from someone who does not want them mutually.
You should not avoid communication with people, especially with those in a relationship, in love, with those who may have a relationship or have a good attitude towards you. Often this is perceived painfully and causes a desire to abandon this format. Here, it may be necessary initially to translate perception into practical necessity, as an important element of rehabilitation is a feasible burden. To cure it is necessary to provide building elements, oxygen, activity. As the avoidance of stress on the injured leg will lead to muscle atrophy and create problems with further functioning, and the avoidance of communication associated with the experience of trauma loss of love can lead to further inability to form a healthy romantic relationship.
To perceive the man who has fallen out of love as the only couple, half, is not a productive strategy. Everyone who has formed a relationship after the completion of the previous ones knows that the new partner also becomes valuable. Even the subjective power of feeling is not indicative, since many experienced highly emotional feelings during the period of first love, but remained fully capable of creating a permanent and long-lasting couple with another person. This should not devalue love relationships in general, which would be the opposite of the extreme, since simply having a potential opportunity does not make the process of building love relationships easy and not burdensome. But perception of insurmountable difficulties in relationships that lead a person to the conclusion that relationships are not needed, control of emotions is equal to suppressing any manifestation of experiences, which blocks an important aspect of a person’s psychic life, because emotions are a kind of fuel for the individual, especially for the creative part. In this case, it is not only about the literal creative manifestation, but also about the creative transformation and personality change in the process of obtaining a new unique experience.
Each person is whole on its own and has the potential to form healthy and reciprocal relationships with a wide range of people. Each person has the potential to form a wide range of kinship (including we have no restrictions on how many children we can love), friendships, and therefore limiting one’s vision of romantic relationships is rather illogical. The partner seems to be subjectively the only one, because we reward him with this value, and in the case of healthy relationships, he mutually rewards us with such significance and this mutual feeling creates the uniqueness of the couple.
How to stop loving a man who does not love you?
When an understanding of reciprocity of feelings comes to a person, there is a desire to stop loving in response. And a person asks a question - how to quickly stop loving a person who does not love you? Whether it is a question of an existing relationship or of falling in love initially not mutual, that if a person is not loving, it means that he has demonstrated this dislike for a certain period and behaved like a person who does not love. If a person has a good level of self-esteem, then the feeling will decrease.
How to stop loving your loved one? If a person greatly loves someone who is not reciprocated, then the main problem is that in self-esteem of the first and the way to fall out of love is an increase in self-esteem. By analogy, one can imagine that a person to whom you are indifferent will come up and hit or offend. Undoubtedly, no one will tolerate this, and even without a mutual response, there is hardly a desire to embrace him. Moreover, this will reinforce a bad attitude. So with love - you are love, you dislike, love decreases (as in the example, from a neutral to a negative attitude, here from a positive to a neutral). But for this you need to feel your value in your eyes, and not to give an opportunity to the feeling, which should bring joy to life to destroy.
How to quickly stop loving a loved one, if there is an understanding that feelings are not mutual? By the same analogy, you can stop yourself, for the further manifestation of love without reciprocity. Love is a strong feeling, it is not for nothing that they oppose hate and aggression. They are equivalent, but with different signs. As sweet and salty. And it seems that if love is a positive feeling, then they can’t be done badly. You can, as you can overeat sweet. So a person who does not love, to demonstrate his love, how to force feed. How to pour boiling water, because the positive temperature of the water. Despite the names of positive, positive and negative, negative, in psychology, these words do not mean that the first should be more, and the second smaller. Everything tends to homeostasis, balance. The meaning is in the power and context of the application, and not in the private perception of the mark. So from the indifferent one can be made hated.
You should not give in to the desire to compare everyone with the object of love, creating mental dialogues, scenes, real or imagined communication. Psychologically, this creates an illusory reality unattainable for creation. A person does not perceive the other objectively, but more as a projection of his own world, as well as in the dynamics of relationships that change as the personalities involved in communication change. The image of the lost always, especially initially, takes large-scale, sometimes grotesque forms in fantasies, therefore what is happening is perceived fatally and uncompromisingly. The value of the lost devalues other spheres and surrounding people, drawing all attention to themselves, speaking in terms of Gestalt psychology - a figure grows in the field, which does not allow to close the gestalt of relations.
The other will never be able to experience the experience similar to that which has been lost, because it is different, the person who is looking for the likeness of an old partner, is different already, as he has received new experience, the relationship between them should also be formed without attracting old communication patterns. This is also one of the reasons why love relationships sometimes end - not seeing changes in a partner and, holding on to an image in illusions, ignored moments of chilling and discontent, which gradually lead to the destruction of relationships.
How to stop loving a person - the advice of psychologists
Having met with disappointment in a relationship, a person wants to understand how to quickly stop loving a loved one. Switch. To say - not to do, but so with any undertaking. In psychoneurology there is the concept of "dominant" - the center of brain activity, the nerve paths to which are beaten and it absorbs thoughts. Love (or rather, the projection of man in the psyche) may become like a dominant and it seems that it is impossible to think about anything else. In order to reduce the attractiveness of the dominant for the nervous system, it is necessary to create another one. How to use the gateways to transfer the flow of the river to another place, to distribute energy. But in the case of the river - he put a mechanical obstacle and the matter is done, then the nervous system takes time to switch, and the impulse of habit tends to the old place. Therefore, in the first stages, one has to remind oneself and by an effort of will to perform actions to switch to another. Work, sport, creativity - the list is banal, but the most effective ways are usually the most predictable.
That is why the least common question is: “how to fall out of love with a person?”, People who have several “centers of activity” are asked, because their distribution is initially in different areas. Therefore, the principle of "go to work with the head" plays into the hands of a person. Or prepare for a marathon. Or study the work of a graphic program to upload beautiful photos to a social network. For the same reason - alcohol is not an option in the long term, it is possible to form an addiction according to the same principle.
This, of course, is not about a one-time action. One-time (or several times) to suffer, cry, etc. is quite permissible, to seek help and support from relatives and friends. But it also should not be turned into a habit. Constantly discussing the situation and emotionally supporting it, the dominant only increases. It would be desirable to cry - it is necessary to cry, but purposefully to put oneself in a situation when tears will appear, for example, in the next discussion it is some mockery of oneself. For the same reason, it is good and useful to be alone for some time, especially if there is a general tendency to experience some processes on your own. But to make a permanent choice in his favor is a bad strategy for its further development and only selects the source of bright emotions and paralyzes an important part of human life.
How to stop loving a person? Psychologists advise to go on dates. Initially for switching, shifting thoughts from one partner dominating in fantasy to other potential ones. When a person is faced with disappointment in love, his self-worth for partnerships in his subjective perception decreases, there is doubt in the ability to effective love communication. And if during such a traumatic situation one chooses isolation, then such a perception will be strengthened (since the opportunity for positive experience is deprived) and the fear of communication or devaluation of relationships can be formed in the future when they talk about the “habit of being alone”. There may also be certain pitfalls here, but from the point of view of switching communication, the priority is over isolation.