Psychology and Psychiatry

How to survive the betrayal

How to survive the betrayal? This event frightens almost everyone who is in a relationship, be they love or even close friends. Fear is born by the need for personal identification, experiencing one’s personality as part of a larger one, relating to it. Common identification is “I am a member of the marital union”. This is the existence of a certain "we." If it turns out that a partner simultaneously belongs to another - this fact is perceived as a betrayal, an event when, without the knowledge of the other party, I changed my social identification. To perceive yourself as part of a whole, a group, even if of two is an important need. Because it is clear why the treacherous blow is so painful. When a partner has another “we” on the side, I will become a part of the union of three without consent.

How to survive the betrayal and betrayal of a husband or wife? To react to treason is not easy. While there is a feeling of union with a partner, the space "we" - always betrayal will be painful. If you are looking for an answer, how to survive the pain of betrayal - it means that the partner was not indifferent to you, you are united in a whole. Here, pain is a natural, unavoidable reaction from breaking emotional bonds. However, knowledge helps to live these painful feelings.

How to survive the betrayal of a loved one - the advice of psychologists

Virtually every person faced with betrayal. What do psychologists advise, if your favorite did it, how to survive treason and betrayal? We need to clearly begin to understand for ourselves that they do not betray because I am bad, but because the other person could not cope with personal weaknesses, lust. The next thing to learn about betrayal is that life does not end after him. After betrayal, you can live wonderful, go uphill, become more successful, find new friends, build relationships and live even better.

Bright and painful color betrayal give our negative programs that make us chase painful pictures in my head, worry and suffer. If you reconsider your attitudes, work them out with a psychologist, you should really start treating philosophies philosophically, rationally, calmly, learning the right lessons and quickly forgetting about it.

How to survive the betrayal of a loved one? Psychological advice on this is as follows: remember that this is only a temporary stage from which you need to learn the right lessons. As a result, this situation and experience will make you stronger. So that in a few years you can say "thank you" to the very betrayal that opened your eyes and hardened you.

How to survive the pain of betrayal without unnecessary suffering? It is necessary to accept betrayal as a very important life lesson. Remember, betrayal was not sent to break and destroy you, but to make you stronger and wiser.

Also, to live and let go of betrayal does not give a loop to negative emotions that do not go away, but again and again give rise to painful experiences and prevent them from dissolving. False attitudes send negative impulses to consciousness that trigger a repeated cycle of experiences. Suppose you survived treason, and now this picture, the fact of treason is constantly spinning in your head. Do you want to suffer, do you need it? No, however, you often continue to do this, as if feeding a negative program. Here you need to learn how to switch the thought, to draw it into something positive, not to go after dark thoughts and not to drive them in a circle in your head.

And the last, most important thing - learn to build your life for the soul, for joy, enjoying work, communication, every day. Then you will not have to worry. If you began to worry - switch to another that you like, that brings you pleasure.

How to survive the betrayal of her husband?

When a woman faces betrayal by her husband, her experiences usually go through several stages.

Initially, the typical denial, do not want to believe in what happened, the woman categorically does not accept what is happening. It seems that these are only temporary difficulties, which will soon pass, it happens as if not with her, the husband could not do that, he has an explanation, a good reason, which he will clarify later.

Then often comes rage and a huge resentment towards her husband, in a woman a hatred for everything connected with him awakens, she longs for reprisals and revenge. However, then the longing for her husband comes, memories come, mostly bright moments from the common joyful past, I want to be in the same places again, listen to the same music - in a word, to experience again, to plunge into old feelings. At this stage, a woman is often even ready to belittle herself, take a step and go to reconciliation for the sake of a common past and relationships. Here the woman is already beginning to look for the reason why this happened.

Then again, anger may come along with the idea that the value of the relationship was less important to the husband than it seemed, I wanted to think. The woman begins to remember the words and unrestrained promises of her husband, why only more becomes angry.

And now comes depression and apathy, when you don’t want to do anything, when you’re just ready to lie in bed all day, when it seems that it will never end, the pain from this situation will never cease. What is happening around does not involve. In these moments, the woman begins to delve into herself, to look for mistakes, to the point of taking all the blame for the situation. It seems to her that she herself brought the husband and the relationship to such an outcome.

And then comes the understanding - you need to go further, you can get used to this situation. In order to burn all the bridges and move on to a new life, the woman tries to remove all the things of her husband from herself, general photographs, audio recordings, gifts, so that the memories would not have such power. There may even be a change of company, a woman can stop communicating with common friends and visit memorable places.

Finally, with a cold mind, a woman looks at relationships, most objectively assesses situations where she and her husband could be wrong, draws conclusions for further personal life. She realizes that she will not act exactly.

Acceptance comes, humility with reality, the woman no longer cares why it happened, how her husband could do that. Offense goes somewhere, you can already treat a man neutral. Perhaps there is disappointment and indifference to his life, then I want to continue to work only with my life.

Psychologists report that it is not time that cures, but it is this humility with the situation, the ability to switch to another, to go further. Surrounding here can help expand horizons and not get hung up on what happened. Psychologists note that how a person experiences betrayal depends on his future life and the ability to build relationships with the opposite sex in the future.

It is necessary to take into account - all women are different, and each takes its own amount of time to survive the traumatic circumstances. Try to be busy - work, hobbies, hobbies. You can plunge into a new sphere, meet with friends, go out with friends, go to the cinema and theater, read. The busy day and the abundance of new impressions will not give you the opportunity to think once again about the past.

However, psychologists also report that painful experiences must be fully reacted, lived and released. Do not push tears in yourself if you want to cry. Do not force yourself through the power to smile and portray joy. Look for happy moments, but accept your negative emotions. Do not place them, as often happens, on the backside of consciousness, from where it will be difficult to control them, on the contrary, they will control you. The pain here is like a disease, it needs to get sick, and the acute symptoms allow you to recover faster, while the hidden, repressed emotions can become chronic.

Never spy on social networks, do not even look at his page - this can not only regularly feed painful experiences, formed into a habit, but also begin to inflate your imagination.

Feel the value of your own life, which you have only one, you should not spend it on feelings and negative. In this disassemble the mistakes of the past. Any relationship problem is created by partners together. Understand the mistakes so as not to commit them in the following ways. Therefore, to betrayal you need to have a position that perceives it as an experience in your life.

How to survive the betrayal of a friend?

You value friends, because they are the closest people with whom you can share everything that is painful, consult on personal matters, receive support, warmth, motivation, emotions. Sometimes a friend is even closer than relatives, because we choose friends ourselves. Therefore, it is even more painful to experience their apostasy. At the same time, there are many discussions about whether women's friendship actually exists. How to survive the betrayal of friends, if still it happened?

Betrayal inflicts great traumas on a person because it is associated with treachery and trust that has been undermined as a result. Often, female betrayal consists in the fact that a friend could not keep secret the important information entrusted to her, perhaps even intentionally used it against you. Betrayal, according to many polls, is that people are most often not ready to accept as friends, because it destroys the friendship itself.

If relationships with a best friend have passed the events that can be called betrayal, a woman often has a feeling of hostility to the world, the inability to trust anyone after this experience, especially women who are trying to establish close relationships. However, when a particular person betrayed you, this does not mean that there are only traitors around. At the same time, hostility towards friendship is natural, it can be understood, taken internally as an emotional aftermath of what happened, which is sure to pass if you work through this trauma psychologically.

How to survive the betrayal of friends? Try not to turn into an enemy inside you, not to plan revenge, not trying to prove something, to conquer or destroy, forgetting then and putting a cross on a person. After all, this strategy will not give anything to you or your friend who has betrayed you. You will not receive genuine consolation from revenge, and a traitor who has experienced revenge from you will only become embittered. You tighten the knot only tighter.

Spiritual practices here teach not only not to return evil, but sometimes even to do good to the traitor. After all, in this way you will collect "burning coals" on his head - this is nothing but remorse of conscience. Only after experiencing them and succumbing to an awakened conscience, a person can draw conclusions. Why do you need it? Think about the fact that a friend, if she was a really important person for you, was valuable to you, you loved her. Revenge here will hurt you as well, even if superficially gives a sense of triumph of retribution. The challenge is to live these emotions, drawing conclusions and letting go of the situation, as opposed to being stuck in painful experiences.

A betrayed friend did it because of her weakness, perhaps because of fear, secret feelings. And you, as a person who knows her well, can understand it with sufficient attention and patience. Realize what expectations you placed on your friend, why you brought this person closer to you, what good she gave you. Thank inside your ex-girlfriend for all the good things that happened in the relationship, and release her. Such a wise metaposition, taking the weaknesses of human nature and all the circumstances into account, will allow you to easily pass the pain of betrayal and retain the ability for future trust relationships.

The difficult question is whether to trust the betrayed girlfriend in the future. Some women find the strength to themselves enough to figure out, talk about what happened. A betrayer may even receive forgiveness if her act was somehow understood by the affected party. And if both women realize the importance of relationships - they can even continue communication and friendship after passing this experience. The decision to continue communication here is only for you, depending on the circumstances of the incident, the extent of the betrayal, his inner motives, the presence of repentance and his sincerity. Here, every woman will be helped by her inner capacity for empathy and even foreboding - the famous female intuition.