Psychology and Psychiatry

How to part with a girl

How to part with a girl? The line between how to end the relationship and convey to the girl that there is no return, and in order to remain gallant and human, is thin. If you express yourself too gently, and, trying to support her, to talk a lot of compliments, you risk, instead of ending the relationship, getting obsessive attention and trying to convince you. And in the case of too tough approach, you can seriously offend and inflict irreparable spiritual wounds on a being who, because of his feelings, is defenseless before you.

We live with people with different amounts of time together (from minutes to decades), it is easier to say goodbye to colleagues than to your loved ones. Cases of parting with a relationship from a sudden realization that a further journey with this person is impossible (due to the departure of feelings or betrayal, changing conditions or discovering the unrevealed aspects of the personality) are not new, painful and cause much thought. If you decide to take this step not after a scandal, and this is a conscious decision, then you should end the relationship without stretching the process and not letting the situation out of control. The best option for this is an honest open conversation during a personal meeting, and the worst is to leave without explanation, cutting off all the communication strings.

If you are thinking about how to part with a girl and remain friends, then you should still reconsider such interesting conclusions, in light of the obviousness of your desire to continue communication. Perhaps, this desire hides a flight from responsibility, or you have invented too much about the demands of the girl herself from you, then it’s worth discussing, and not turning your own feelings over - it will not be better.

But if the decision is ripe in your soul and supported by the logic of the mind, then you should take care of how to part with the girl without offending her.

How to part with a girl without causing her pain?

When relationships become unbearable, and you observe the daily systematic disappearance of those feelings that were connected before, the problem arises of how to part with the girl. You can, of course, having read through the forums and councils of young pick up artists, tell her nasty and sick things, call them the last words, but this will have a bad effect on your subsequent fate and reputation. If everything started sincerely, and you and the girl were dear to each other, you should think how to break up with the girl without offending her.

Beautifully and carefully part - not everyone can do it. Such an event requires internal self-report and patience, because there will be a flurry of negative emotions of another, perhaps accusations and persuasion. But any effort will justify a worthy conclusion, because no one knows for which turn you will meet again, but to cause a feeling of hatred to yourself or to drive a person into depression with a momentary refusal.

She will remember you and your parting, she will be upset - she will not be affected, but your task is not to provide the girl with amnesia, but to soften the blow. Calmly discuss with her what happened, explain your decision that was unacceptable to you. The most important thing for someone to leave is not to get any feedback and to sit, tormented by conjectures because of what the other has gone (and the spectrum is large and one can sort out his actions, intonation, gesture for years). The more questions she has left, the brighter the girl’s fantasy will play and the desire to find out, which means she will bother you with calls and watch for meetings (not even from the desire to return everything back, but from the desire to understand what happened).

Trying to alleviate her pain, do not immediately run away, listen to the answer, it is possible to bring her home or continue the conversation before the onset of calm emotions. Do something for her last. Avoid material gifts - they will remind you of your separation or they will go to the nearest trash can. You can pay for renting an apartment, if you live together and move out, you can help with the paperwork, if such were with her, help with work - let it be a service that will help ease her life for the next time after parting.

If you deliberately and finally decided to stop intimate communication, and the decision was made not on an emotional outburst, then do not delay the conversation. When you come to this decision, the girl already notices the changes and cooling between you. The more carefully you play the role of "all OK" and the longer you delay the conversation, the stronger will be the emotional tsunami of consequences. And if, in a decisive and calm conversation, she will experience negative emotions, but will accept a new situation and survive this state, while delaying the conversation, you are shaking the girl's nervous system. She may, losing internal resources on the experience of the unknown, fall into a pit of severe depression.

If she starts to blame you in a conversation, you can offer your sincere apologies, but not continue the relationship out of guilt. Charges can escalate into blackmail aimed at threatening the destruction of your health, life, or attempts to manipulate suicide — get ready in advance, consult with lawyers and psychologists. Noticing for his girlfriend the tendency to blackmail type of behavior, it makes sense to get the advice of professionals directly working on this profile.

Particular attention in how to part with a girl should be paid to the spoken words. The absence of charges and obzyvatelstv is an axiom, if your goal is not worth the moral destruction of the girl. Tell her about her uniqueness, the importance and value of the experience gained, thank and remember the positive - you should not break the self-esteem of the girl into smithereens. But do not get carried away with serenades, report that you do not see a way of improvement, tell us that she will not be happier with you, before that it is good to restore those moments in her memory where she, too, was not happy about your relationship.

You can offer her friendly communication when she needs help, but don’t impose, because it’s problematic to be friends with a guy right after you are no longer lovers, and for many it is never possible. And it is not necessary as a spiritual analgesic to offer her to leave sex or to arrange a farewell night. This offer can greatly hurt a girl who feels like a fallback, and for many it is worse than being nobody.

How to part with a girl beautifully and correctly?

There are many reasons for ending a relationship - your task is to determine how weighty they are for you. For example, the opinion of your bosom friends that this girl is not an option based on their personal preferences or fear of losing your friendship can hardly be considered objective, adequate, and given priority. But if in your relationship there is no love and common interests, betrayals, distances and a feeling of lack of comfort are nearby - then you should stop the interaction and not reduce the number of nerve cells for yourself or the girl.

The Internet is replete with various tricks, how to part or how to make a girl leave you (all these methods are dramatized and two-faced), which may not give a result, but lead to an increase in love with you. Communicate honestly and openly, the person whom you once chose, and who has passed a certain path in life with you, is worthy of truthfulness and openness.

Choose a suitable place where you will not be distracted (a cafe and a cinema are unsuccessful options) and a time when you can devote the remaining time to new experiences and new issues. It would be inappropriate to arrange a farewell romantic dinner or to make any special signs of attention in the direction of the girl, such a contrast of emotions can strongly knock her out of a state of emotional balance.

Honestly tell her about your decision and the reasons that led to it. Thank the girl for the presented emotions and experience. Connect the memory and imagination - you obviously have something to say thanks for, and go on to the fact that, however, for you two is not the best option. Even when the girl begins to assure you of the opposite (against the background of the fear of loneliness, you can idealize yourself in her perception), remind her of cases and details that do not suit her and that you will not change.

If you notice that it is so easy to let you go she does not agree and begins to blackmail and threaten, then change tactics, do not break with the confidence of the tank, step aside, ask for a pause in the relationship to think about the situation, and then you will discuss it on the basis of new conclusions. And gradually move away confidently.

How to part with a girl and remain friends is a task for a virtuoso and a thin-feeling guy, provided you have a calm and mutual separation. Then, after a short time, you will begin to communicate, to acquaint each other with new passions and to act as vests when parting with them. But the chance of friendship with your beloved or intimately attractive person, the separation with which occurred on the scandalous notes, is almost zero.

If a girl offers friendship, to postpone the separation for a while and think, she begins to tell that she cannot live without you, implores you to stay and promises to become as you like - check each of these statements for sincerity and do not succumb to manipulations. Even if your relationship is resumed later, but at will, and not out of fear that an article about bringing you to suicide will be put on you. Stop all manipulative phrases on the vine and follow the chosen path - you have the full right to freedom of manifestation of your desires and decisions. And if the situation goes beyond the framework of a civilized farewell - contact psychologists (perhaps psychiatrists), law enforcement services and leave such a relationship.

How to part with a girl by SMS text?

When parting with a person personally, you show respect and can minimize the number of negative feelings with a partner. To resort to the remote method of terminating relationships is the worst option, however there are code situations that would not be possible otherwise. Perhaps you have long traveled to different cities or attempts to personally end a relationship with a girl led to failure, or you may be intolerable to see her face when reporting unpleasant news - an infinite number of options. They have one thing in common - after the SMS parting you will definitely not remain friends and good relations or statements in your address will be absent.

Finishing relationships with messages is becoming a common practice, and there are several reasons for this. Naturally contributes to the emergence of instant messengers who even help to find the necessary formulations, but the main reasons are in increasing infantilism and irresponsibility in building relationships, as well as the very speed of relationships and life in general, where it seems absurd to spend a few hours for a personal meeting with someone already in the past.

When composing a message, try to take into account all the moments in order not to turn everything into a lengthy correspondence, failing the goal of the SMS itself - to get rid of the relationship faster and most painlessly. Start by referring to the girl by name, without using diminutive forms and your nicknames. Tell about your decision to part or formulate it as impossibility to be more together, then you must indicate the reason for the break. It is not necessary to write poems and go into details, it would be appropriate during a personal conversation, when you need SMS for short (it can be said that you are not ready to continue, that there are no previous feelings). Thank for what was, apologize for the pain and the inability to communicate all this in person. If it is appropriate and you think that you should add accents, then ask me not to disturb you anymore.

Be polite and literate. Having chosen one of the most unacceptable ways, do not aggravate it with monosyllabic phrases that are rudely confronting the fact (“I left you, do not call”, “we are breaking up”, etc.). This will generate a lot of questions and complaints about you, and after the shock, there is no need to speak about the amount of hatred that has arisen. Although, if you break up because of the girl's betrayal, the fact that she changed, humiliated and, or somehow unacceptably, you behaved, then you can skip the manners and concern for her sense of self. Remain polite in order not to pay with its authority, but you can choose offensive language, depending on its deed. For example, the one that changed can be informed that you will soon have a wedding with a beautiful girl, and you can send the one that was lost all the time with your friends, and now you don’t have time for her.

The most difficult part of sending by SMS is to show composure and not respond to messages and calls, the number of which will be comparable to the avalanche, as the girl will not tolerate such a relationship, but will seek a meeting and conversation, with which you will probably be morally motivated to sweep.

When parting, keep humanity, no matter how fast your life is, whatever reasons lead to a break, and if you have any doubts, talk openly with your partner - this is better than parting endlessly and converging again, realizing that you’re not ready.