Psychology and Psychiatry

How to part with a guy

How to part with a guy - This is usually a complex task that requires a conscious attitude and creative solutions, based on the depth of the relationship and the personal specifics of the guy. You can pack everything into a simple wording "forgive, forgive", but this is not always the appropriate scenario. It happens that you need to look for determination to care, and it happens that you can not get rid of the beau. Starting a relationship, we think and plan, listen to the sense of self, and when parting it is worth considering what is happening, to prepare.

A person rehearsing a declaration of love is perceived by us normally, but a person rehearsing a separation seems strange. Although it is to complete the relationship, it is worth choosing words and a place, controlling intonation and choosing wording, because not a neat word can cause a tragic outcome (from revenge filled with hatred to depression of the one left).

How to leave a guy without offending him?

Being at the point of understanding the impossibility of continuing further relationships, we take the only right liberating action - avoiding what is now bound by certain obligations.

There are no methods for parting with a guy painlessly, it is logical and natural that he will be offended and experience a fairly wide range of negative feelings in your direction, and the more serious his intentions and stronger affection is, the greater the squall of negativity awaits you. But you can minimize the amount of pain for it.

By parting you need to prepare, pre-selecting a place to talk. Let it be neutral in emotional memories for him, and there you should not be disturbed. You should not go to festive restaurants, theaters or cinema, the house is also a dubious option (the familiar cozy atmosphere pleases, but the person at home is more defenseless, and the situation will then remind you of a break).

How to leave a guy without offending him? The advice of psychologists on this subject are as follows: think over the conversation and the words with which you will tell him that you are leaving. Do not blame and blame, and so he will sort through all the mistakes that have been made, the lack of restraint of emotions and the flowers that are not presented. Find actions and feelings for which you are grateful to him, for time and experience - look through your own memory, because there was a good one, and this is also worthy of recognition. While you are thinking about how to part with a guy and save his self-esteem, work on your determination. After the thanks expressed, tell the reason for the gap and what you do not intend to make efforts to remedy the situation or see it impossible. This step will prevent him from trying to fix everything, and also make it clear that no oaths and crawling on his knees will make you regret the end of the novel. Be confident and convincing, end the relationship at once, without hints of continuation - this way you will save him from torment and himself from persecution.

Avoid hints and understatement - the guy is unlikely to understand you, but the wound in his soul will remain. Use open honest conversation in person.

There are many texts that teach how to part with a guy by SMS, but only a personal meeting can be considered worthy of parting, when you can look your partner in the eye. The remaining distance options (phone, messenger, Skype) is a manifestation of disrespect. Such a method is acceptable provided that you are far from each other and the presence of a relationship is just a formality, and also if meeting a guy is potentially dangerous for you. When you leave destructive relations, where there was violence, humiliation, gas-losing - send SMS with a statement of fact and change the number - the only way to save yourself and your psyche. If you end the relationship because of less traumatic things - show respect for a personal meeting.

After you tell the news, no matter how you try to tell all the reasons and feelings, the guy will have questions. Do not rush to end the conversation and run away, be patient and answer him. Keep your distance, if you want to console him, then talk about his outstanding qualities, and do not hug as before.

How to part with the guy you love?

The end of a relationship with a loved one is usually a crisis and painful event that happens unexpectedly, but there are several reasons for leaving the relationship where you love first. It can be a cooling of feelings and the extinction of relationships, his infidelity, the desire to put you in the role of a mistress with your wife, his addictions (alcohol, drugs, criminal activity) or violence against you. In these situations, talking about love for you is not necessary, perhaps there is a benefit, and it is close by habit or by calculation.

The situation is difficult because it is unclear why and how to part with a guy, if you love, but he is not. It is their own feelings that will push for constant attempts to preserve and rehabilitate relationships that devastate the soul. Girls tend to justify their loved ones to the last (indifference to justify employment, rudeness - fatigue, communication with others - temperament, hard drinking - difficulties in life), but a moment comes when you cannot hide the truth from yourself, and the most difficult decision should be made - to leave.

How to part with the guy you love? An honest answer about what you get in this relationship, how much you feel your value, how soon your boyfriend will stop all interaction can help to get rid of doubts in the chosen path.

Preparing for parting, evaluate your strength to restrain from hysterics, tears and accusations during a personal meeting. If in doubt, it is worth thinking about how beautiful it is to leave the guy by SMS. It would be a better option than shouting in the street, as he himself is to blame for what is happening or some other expressive manifestation of his indignation. If you can withstand a decent personal meeting with him, then take care of choosing a place where you will be comfortable, as well as about your appearance, which will give you confidence. Speak clearly and concisely, do not grovel for all the reasons why you leave, remember how it was good or blame him for something. Perhaps he will take an interest in the reason - inform, but adhering to brevity and neutrality. Try not to spend a lot of time on this interaction and as soon as the key phrases are said and confirmation that he understood you correctly, it is received - leave.

It would be good to prepare yourself a plan of employment for the post-burst time in advance in order to reduce your depression, because the trauma of losing a loved one will hook your soul. Arrange meetings with friends who can cry out or have a fun walk, sign up for courses that you have long wanted to attend, think of everything you didn’t have time for because of this relationship and start your life.

How to break up with the guy who loves you?

As soon as the idea of ​​ending a relationship with a loving boyfriend has appeared, you should seriously think about the motivation behind it. Take a closer look at him carefully and, perhaps, you will appreciate the one who values ​​you, especially in a situation of departure because of the search for an unreal fictional character with whom your life will be like a Disney cartoon. But if together you cannot be objectively and differently live and breathe, that love does not appear, and sympathy is born for another guy, then leave faster, do not aggravate the situation by delaying the decisive actions.

In parting with a person who loves you, their features and difficulties. And if in how to part with a guy if you love him, but he is not, the main thing is to make this decision, then in the opposite situation the main point is the separation itself. Trying to disappear without leaving a trace, leaving the situation unclear and hoping that he himself will understand is a hopeless option. A man in love is unlikely to want to think that your disappearance is due to the end of communication, rather, he will imagine that you are in trouble or you have a crisis, or maybe secret problems. These fantasies will inevitably lead to the fact that he will look for you, save, therapist and in every possible way try to improve your life. So only open conversation will help.

Take care that your conversation is personal, without annoying waiters and an invading crowd. The way to part with a guy who loves you is the same - a personal meeting, respect, lack of accusations, confidence in their own position. Show more delicacy if you know what is dear to him. Spend more time on this conversation, but do not try to pity him or do rash acts out of pity. The desire to comfort him by suggesting friendship or acquaintance with an interesting girl can hurt him even more, creating the feeling that he is an empty place for you.

If the guy really loves you, then try to keep. He can find out what was wrong and promise to correct, beg for forgiveness or even threaten. Your task is to remain adamant, not to give a single weakness in your decision and cut everything that you have connected in one conversation, otherwise everything can be delayed.

Do not give your former false hope after breaking up, it’s better not to answer at all than to talk all night long about his state of mind, trying to help him survive the gap. If he really needs help, he can always turn to friends for support, and communication with you will be perceived as having the opportunity to return everything.

If you acted honestly and correctly in your conversation with him, did not give false hopes, and the guy continues to wait for the renewal of relations or does not let you go, then there is no need to talk about love.

How to part with a guy if he does not let go - tips from a psychologist

In order to quickly and effectively complete the relationship you need to show confidence and determination. In the event that you are in a situation where you are not released from the relationship, these qualities should manifest themselves more strongly, and not go to the background. To stretch the relationship, in the hope that you will stay a little next to this person, he will understand and release everything dangerous for your psyche and the development of the situation as a whole. The more you transfer power in deciding your own destiny to another person, the more rigorous methods he begins to use in order to retain this power. That indulgence led to the fact that at first the girl was left in a relationship by the manipulation of suicide, then the taking of money, and the end was beating.

Any violation of your freedom is unacceptable not only from an ethical point of view, but also prosecuted by law. Even if you are afraid to start such a conversation, because in advance you feel that you will not be released voluntarily, it is worth spending. But you should prepare in advance. Choose places where in case of danger you can ask for help from others. In a situation of emotional and physical violence, an important factor is not to be alone with the aggressor, trying to turn the situation in a favorable direction by his obedience. Share the problem with the maximum number of people in the shortest possible time, contact a psychologist and the police. Depending on the severity of the threats, there is an option when you can get away from the guy, accompanied by police officers, and he will be given instructions on imprisonment in the event of approach or contact with you. If you are blackmailed by suicide, do not hesitate to call the psychiatric team, instead of discouraging him from such actions.

When a guy's harassment is on the phone with constant conversations and persuasion to return, ignoring calls or changing numbers will be the best way. Aggressive behavior can provoke him to an inadequate surge, since this is an open struggle for the right to control his own life, which he currently claims. If you are confident that you can bear the pressure of his aggression and suppress his own, then this can serve as an end to the persecution, but if not, then it can provoke an increase in despotism on his part, up to the assault.

Many may advise you to become uninteresting to him or annoy him in every possible way so that he himself abandoned you. Think about how much this can go on and whether you agree to spend your life and nerves on such a show. The best strategy is to think in advance about a safe place, ways to preserve your health and property, then inform him of your decision (sms or at a meeting) depends on how heavy the manipulative techniques with which he keeps you near him are, then go to full ignoring his appearances, if necessary for some time, you can disappear from the field of view, even common friends.

Relationships are necessary for happiness and increasing the creative freedom of the individual, and not for the selfish use of a person as a pet.