Psychology and Psychiatry

What to do if the guy lost interest

What if the guy lost interest? It is a question which girls want to clarify often even in advance, trying to warn, to prevent such a situation. After all, the subconscious goal of every person who just started a relationship is to subordinate another, to make sure that he could not do it, he was more happy with me than anywhere else. When the goal is reached, the girl literally can’t continue living without a boyfriend; she completely surrenders - the boy automatically relaxes, it becomes boring, it’s not interesting to push his partner further. This is the first bell to cool the senses.

Understand whether you have closed the goal for the guy. Did he manage to take possession of you entirely, when you are no longer a self-sufficient person? If you are considering what you can do if the guy is cooling off, then probably yes. Is it possible to re-open the goal for the guy, to rekindle, restore the desire to build relationships in him, to win you?

What if the guy lost interest in me?

How to make a loved one think about you every hour so that he simply does not notice other women in the background? How to return the feelings if the guy lost interest? There are two common strategies for female behavior in relationships. The first is when a girl gives love, closes the target for her boyfriend, feels already dependent inside the relationship. A man receives all her attention, care, emotions, feels that the girl is already completely owned by him and, like a hunter or predator, loses motivation and interest in the immobilized object. Such a guy is increasingly beginning to disappear with friends, may cease to show signs of attention, and sometimes, following his own nature, and finds another object, a new goal.

The second is when the girl does not give up all her feelings yet, without letting the guy feel that the goal has been fully achieved. Of course, she invests emotionally, gives her love, but at the same time remains a self-sufficient girl.

If you have identified the reason for the cooling of feelings and this is that you used the first strategy, you should start working to make your life, regardless of the guy, extremely interesting and fulfilling. Love is wonderful, but long-lasting love with the desire to continually unravel a person, with genuine attention to him — becomes possible when partners have broad interests, their goals, aspire to them, rejoice in new things, even, perhaps, have their own separate social circle. When a girl does not develop outside relationships, she will inevitably fall into the trap of these relationships. You need to do your life, become interesting to yourself, have hobbies, communicate with friends, favorite work.

Another mistake for which a guy can quickly cool off with a girl is an excess of male behavioral strategies in her. In any person there are two beginnings, both male and female. And many girls today, forced by the pressure of the outside world, are beginning to actively use masculine qualities, forgetting their feminine nature. Even starting a relationship, experiencing feelings, manifesting herself as a woman - the girl farther out through inertia often continues to use male energy. The guy automatically begins to behave passively.

This can be traced in absolutely any relationship, even when there are two girlfriends - one takes the initiative, inviting, for example, to go to the cinema, which is a male strategy, and the other simply agrees, staying within the female line of conduct. When in a personal relationship a girl manifests masculine traits, takes a male role - the boy rarely competes, because he is looking for a woman, wants a relationship, but not friendship or litigation with forces. And begins to show passivity, which was intended to be part of the girl's own strategy. The solution here is for the girl to take a passive, female role. Even if the guy, as it seems to you, does not take the necessary steps - no need to try to do it instead of him. He just needs time to return the male role, for this, stop pushing him and fully engage yourself.

The next possible reason for the split is the conflict of your values ​​and personal interests.

What if the guy lost interest in the girl on the basis of different values? This reason is no longer on the surface. You need to carefully figure out what you need, and what values ​​your boyfriend is going for. If you have had conflicts on the basis of different interests - determine how important they are for you, for a guy, can you get closer to his values? Or do you have to use violence against yourself for this, which you will not allow?

What if the relationship is cool with a guy? Try these simple ways to refresh your relationship, such as sharing extreme pastime, which will give you a surge of adrenaline, which, as you know, contributes to a surge of emotions. This may be a parachute jump, an unusual journey, a terrible quest room. Arrange a guy's intimate party for two, present yourself in a new, intriguing way. Do something exclusive, especially for him, perhaps even having learned what he has been dreaming about for a long time, but does not allow himself. Surprise him, remembering those things about which he once spoke with enthusiasm - thus not only will you show yourself in a favorable light as an interesting partner, but also show attention to him. The guy should admire you and appreciate the attitude to his person, for whom you have gone beyond.

What to do if a guy cools, despite your attempts to improve relationships? When you tried all the options, but the situation remained unchanged or even, on the contrary, it was even aggravated - maybe the guy doesn’t want to continue the relationship, having his own reasons beyond your control. After all, in the end, both of you are adults with free will, and everyone decides for himself whether he wants to be in a relationship. Let go of the situation, it is necessary to do this not only for your peace of mind, but also to give the guy freedom, the opportunity to show themselves. If you realize that you can’t do it at all - there is a socially dependent behavior, the pressure from which may be the reason why the guy cools. Remember that, first of all, you are an autonomous person and do not exist only in a relationship. By accepting this installation and rebuilding its principles from it, in a new way you will see the relationship itself.

What to do if a guy lost his distance?

How to return the feelings if the guy lost interest in relationships at a distance? What if the guy cools down, the girl is aware of this, but can not influence the situation, having met the guy personally?

The separation was not easy for you, you are worried about your beloved, you are terribly bored, it is constantly lacking, but this is not as mutual as you would like. Perhaps you misunderstand at a distance or cause for jealousy, suspicion, scandals. Yes, the girl is difficult to trust the guy, if she herself does not live with him, but is far away. What to do if the guy lost interest in the girl during the separation, it’s not only anxiety, not an illusion, she’s already almost sure of a decrease in his interest?

If the separation is temporary, then the surest advice is not to rush to extremes now, arranging hysterics at a distance, because it greatly distorts perception. The girl may even think herself into difficulties in the relationship, or these difficulties will turn out to be temporary, like the separation itself. The best option here is to wait for the meeting, to see your beloved one and to make out the situation already with personal contact.

However, what if you do not want to wait, afraid that time is working against your relationship, or if the separation is very long? How to heat up feelings at a distance, are there any psychological ways to fuel them? Communicate more and more. Of course, it is not necessary to bore the guy with too detailed stories about domestic affairs. At a distance, now you have the opportunity to become more interesting to him than ever, to connect his imagination, to intrigue. Tell us how you had a great time with your friends, what interesting places you visited, maybe even met new people.

At a distance, you can even become emotionally and spiritually closer by discussing topics that people rarely reason in everyday life. But for relationships it is so important that you have similar values ​​and interests, they are the basis of everything in life, and love as well. Recall what interests of your chosen one you paid little attention to, study some question, try to do something from this sphere yourself, and then casually mention it. Maybe you even learn something new about your boyfriend, get closer to his values, which will eventually unite you.

You can feel the closeness or play, in the mode of a telephone conversation, go shopping together and watch a movie at the same time. Now you have a great opportunity to find out what else your man dreams about, to talk about his fantasies - this can even bring a romantic mood and freshness into intimate relationships. Try to play with him, believe me, the distance only warms the imagination.

Some girls even resort to provocations of jealousy, which must be used very carefully, and dosed so that the man does not consider you guilty of flirting or treason, but only felt that his girlfriend is popular and interesting to other guys, while she herself remains faithful to him. If his feelings just faded away - it will be some kind of shake.

But only for a while, then you will need to keep his attention not with such forbidden tricks, but with your inner content. Here is the same advice given above - to grow, fill your life and like, first of all, yourself. Distance just gives you all the conditions for the development or return of your self-sufficiency.