Self-sufficiency is the development of a person's ability to manage on his own, without fear of loneliness and not needing outside support for good functioning. Imagining a completely self-sufficient person is difficult; therefore, they identify types of self-sufficiency depending on the sphere (social, financial, household). The definition of self-sufficiency can characterize the two poles of manifestation of this quality - on the one hand, a positive influence, when a person is able to do without the others, without suffering (being able to find a job on a free evening, the ability to feed himself, and also contain life), on the other hand - excessive manifestations of self-sufficiency, when the rest of the world moves away, and the person becomes isolated in a recluse shelter.
Self-sufficiency is not only the ability to survive, but also independence in decision-making, life choices, regardless of support or censure by other people. Self-sufficiency does not fit with the concept of dependence, whether it is chemical or emotional dependence on a person. The question of whether this property of the person is positive, cannot have a definite answer, but in society there is a desire to develop self-sufficiency. People are looking for ways to develop self-sufficiency through training, articles, personal coaches and changing life strategies, but few are looking for a way to reduce their self-sufficiency. When she is in that degree of development that is excessive and inadequate in its realization, people usually come with problems of loneliness, inability to build relationships, psychosomatics, or disorders of the affective sphere.
Self-sufficiency - what is it?
The definition of self-sufficiency implies the ability of a person to do without external assistance, as well as maintaining psychological comfort. The basic level of self-sufficiency satisfies the needs on the physical plane (to provide food, home and clothing, the ability to cook this food and maintain the house, to maintain a good state of things). The next level is psychological self-sufficiency, which concerns the need for another person or communication in principle. Manifested in a comfortable emotional state, independent of the presence of communication.
Self-sufficient person is interesting and comfortable alone, it does not frighten him, but provides space for practice, but at the same time retains the ability to enjoy the pleasure of interaction. The opposite form of psychological self-sufficiency is psychological dependence and the need for constant contact with a specific person. The broadest level of self-sufficiency is social, including realization in society through a cause that reveals inherent talents and brings pleasure.
Self-sufficiency has a close relationship with caring for the health, beauty, strength and purity of your own body. Since a good physical condition contributes to the improvement of health, the separation of old age and, accordingly, the extension of the period of self-sufficiency. In some ways, self-sufficiency is a responsibility, and these two qualities help to strengthen each other. When you are guided by your own opinion, rather than listening to the advice of others, and then you dump responsibility on them when you take care of your future and try to minimize your dependence as much as possible - you show responsibility for your own life, decisions made in it, and self-sufficiency in building unique living space.
Self-sufficient person is free from any dependency and public opinion. He does what is relevant to him now, not focusing on social assessment, wears his own clothes, and not the one that his acquaintances approve of. It is a great luxury to allow yourself a pleasant chat in a pleasant time frame. It seems that this is a rather rude and selfish behavior, but self-sufficiency is manifested in self-esteem and, to the same extent, in respect for the other. So, if we talk about interaction, then a self-sufficient person will take the conversation that began at an inconvenient moment for him, but also he will not be offended at you if you do the same.
Self-sufficient people attract to themselves the interest of courage to live and be themselves, not hiding behind gray masks, the desire to merge with the crowd or meet expectations. This behavior delights and scares, someone can inspire the discovery of their own individuality and a person will begin to strive for his dreams, and in someone can generate aggression, fear and the desire to shove the unlike in the usual framework. Such fear is due to the lack of control and control levers of a person for whom the main authority is inside.
Women's self-sufficiency in relationships began to manifest itself recently, and along with it, psychological inquiries about fatigue, lack of emotional warmth in a couple, or lack of relationships began to be actualized.
The reasons for the desire of women to self-sufficiency can be many. Someone is trying to live up to his parental hopes all his life and is trying to get better and better, and someone has suffered a psychological trauma, which has damaged the basic trust in the world, and now the woman has closed herself from everyone and ensures the physical and emotional existence itself. These are sad and difficult options, where self-sufficiency is only a tool for life intolerance, but internal problems are not solved and pleasure does not come. Developing her independence, a woman begins to think whether she needs someone at all, because you can not get help, and the risk of being hit in the back appears. Men feel a similar attitude and run away, or the woman herself does not show interest in relationships.
But there are also pleasant moments in the development of the same self-sufficiency, based on the inner confidence of the woman and the desire to move in her chosen direction. Then this feature is not used as a security mechanism, but as a way to realize its potential and aspirations. With this approach, there remains an open interaction with the world, the ability to hear others, but act on the basis of their thoughts.
Self-sufficiency of a woman, grown on confidence, and not on a traumatic experience allows you to be interesting to others. The lack of a rigid construct about "I myself" opens up more opportunities for implementation, communication, exchange of experience. This is a steeper level of development of self-sufficiency skill than the ability to survive is a social interaction, in which there is an opportunity to see the other and save yourself.
Self-sufficient woman understands her needs and is able to find various creative ways of their realization, which bring her happiness. Of course, this includes taking care of your body (baths and oils, rest and comfortable shoes), its health (yoga, massages, fitness, vitamins and sanatoriums) and beauty (haircuts, masks, new beads). A self-sufficient woman without her own achievements is unthinkable, and this should not be hard scientific work (although if scientific activity brings joy and excitement is scientific work), but something satisfying (charity, home decoration, business development, baking cupcakes).
The next important element of harmonious and happy self-sufficiency is relationships (not only with a man). A woman lives in communication, and the ability to make it harmonious, constructive and enjoyable indicates a good knowledge of their needs and ability to interact. It is necessary to constantly study and improve our internal space, with the same care, and even more, with which we also care for our own body. Knowing your own needs, boundaries, desires, temporal and mental capabilities gives you an understanding of where and how exactly you should move, when to stop communication, and when to continue, where to live, what to do, with whom to break contacts, and from whom to give birth to children.
Self-sufficiency is a reliance on internal guidelines, and, accordingly, should be given a decent amount of time to study them.
Self sufficiency men
Self-sufficient men have a special popularity, because they are able to make decisions, to be responsible, they know and are able to do a lot, they are not afraid with them. Most often the eyes light up, and there is a desire to get such a man in women with dependent type of behavior in order to shift their cares to him. But a self-sufficient person professes this principle in relation to others, which means that such a lady will not be interested in him, and may cause rejection.
Male self-sufficiency in relationships manifests itself in a special way. If a man decides to trade his independence for marriage, he understands the seriousness of the event, agrees to be responsible for his wife, new family and child. These are very positive features, but before the connection of your destinies a lot of time and discussion of all the rules must pass, because a man is used to living according to his own laws and you either accept them or you don’t have a way. A confident man will not tolerate a man trying to redo him, but he will not redo a woman.
With such a man, there are no female manipulations and the desire to drive him into a convenient pattern of behavior. With an adult person, an open conversation with an adult is possible - he dyes his hair green, and you buy sixty-fourth shoes, or you just separate. Long scandals are not present here, otherwise a self-sufficient man will wish you a pleasant life, without offending and holding a grudge against you.
Self-sufficient man has the business of his life and is successful in it, external activity for him is a priority. He does not look like a closed, furious fanatic, but is completely socialized, open to criticism and new ideas, but he filters any information through his perception. Such a man will lead like-minded people behind him, and he will pass through those who disagree, instead of stopping and proving to everyone that he is right. And, of course, it is adapted to living conditions, i.e. cooking dinner and cleaning the suit does not plunge him into a stupor of horror.
How to become a self-sufficient person?
About how to develop self-sufficiency now they write and speak a lot, but they do not pay much attention to how necessary this particular person needs in his life.
Absolute self-sufficiency does not exist: humanity depends on weather and climatic conditions, on the schedule of the day of another person. This is in addition to such needs as communication, warm relationships, the ability to lean. All aspects of interaction have a certain dose of risk and dependence, the question is in the prioritized. If you prefer a family to loneliness, then independence in life will diminish, and there will be more opportunities to rely on someone and get spiritual warmth. The question of developing self-sufficiency can be reformulated as a question of developing one’s own sensitivity and ability to notice one’s needs on time.
Developing your independence, you should monitor your own life for dependencies (food, adrenaline, chemical, relational) - any dependence controls you, not you. When making a decision, do not rush to run for advice or google, what to do, it is better to spend more time and effort, but find the answer inside you, because no authoritative uncle, even if they are smart psychologists, do not know how comfortable you will live.
Look less at the past, looking for excuses or explanations of what is happening there - act from the current situation and actual needs. Especially quickly interrupt memories associated with external criticism of your actions and do not allow the opinion of passers-by to influence your appearance, behavior, or choice of activity.
Work on self-knowledge and confidence. Improve your skills every day, starting from the level of life, where you provide existence and take care of the body to the social level, where you present your true (found during the excavation of the inner world) essence to the world you are able to withstand the onslaught and criticism without changing yourself and accepting the difference of worldview .