Here you also need to first think about your motives - why did you want to pursue a guy who is not free? What drives you: passion, the desire to increase your self-esteem, revenge your opponent, to prove your charm to others? Such motives interest the psychologist not from the moral side, but because it is impossible and meaningless to build strong relationships on them. Only if you are driven by sincere, long feelings for this guy, and you are sure that you are waiting for the future together - only then can you think about the relationship with him.
Remember, however, that when you take on such an initiative, you may continue to carry it in your pair. You will have to, in fact, take the lead, and the boy will probably react to other girls, as you have previously said. You may be guilty in the destruction of his past relationships, and in the current failures.
Often the girl herself gives a reason to take the boy in, if things are not going smoothly in the relationship, if quarrels and misunderstandings happen, and they are not used to talking and solving joint problems. Then there may be a rival with a tempting offer for a guy not to solve the difficulties arising in the relationship, but simply to change the girl for another, more convenient or attractive.
She can wait for a convenient moment, when in a couple of discord, be in intimate with a guy who is in frustrated feelings, often angry and dissatisfied. Usually the girl resorts to instinctive manipulations, trying to lure the guy with those moments that he does not receive in relations now. Men tend to take such advances of attention, writing them down only on their own account. Guys often regard them not as an attempt by a runt to achieve their goals, but as a high appreciation of his own person, an estimate that he had long awaited from the current girl and which belongs to him by right. The self-esteem of the guy who is offered to get what he wants without effort is stimulated - a simple and easy option, which unfortunately leads to problems in the future.
How to achieve a former guy?
How to achieve respect for the guy, if you were already in a relationship, but lost his disposition? How to achieve the guy you love even after breaking up?
Many girls fall in love, meet, but because of the lack or lack of knowledge of how to support the fire in a pair, they break up, believing that love is irretrievably gone. And only then they come to their senses, realizing that the feelings are strong.
Psychologists here open our eyes to us - it is not love that passes, but only love - a primary, superficial state based on a hormonal surge. Love is a feeling that is born just after falling in love. In order for love to happen, you need to work together every day in a relationship, putting all the best in them, pure, kind and bright. It is important that in the relationship at this stage were already common interests and values. If they were not there, then there is no point in returning the former one, because you will part with the same problem anyway.
If you have a lot of unifying moments, and the separation still happened due to some kind of resentment that he or you provoked - there is a chance that the guy’s return will grow into love further. We give practical advice.
The first thing to do is ask for forgiveness if your fault was. Some girls because of their pride are afraid to apologize, shifting the blame on the guy. Girls that think so try to break the inner core of a guy, which is unacceptable in a relationship. If it works out, the man becomes weak-willed, a “rag,” if it doesn't work out, he will respond with care. When you offended a man, you tried to press him, but he left - it means that you got a principled, real man.
When you know that you love a guy, that you need him - step over your artificial pride, arrogance imposed by society, apologize. How? Better in person. You can write a touching sms or on the social network, but talking alone will still be much better. The message will not be able to convey your voice, intonation, look, your appearance. In addition, it may happen that he reads your message in the presence of friends or girlfriends, and they will make him just laugh at you.
Think carefully about your image to the meeting - you should look beautiful, feminine, seductive, but not vulgar. A little late, about 10 minutes. During the conversation, behave timidly and feminine. Give him your sincere apologies and promises that this act will not happen again. Speak gently, sit opposite, better to keep your eyes lowered. And only at the end of your monologue can you timidly raise your eyes and look at him a little frightened. Then be silent - let him say that apologies are accepted.
After that, you can smile a little, do not show too clearly your joy, outwardly try to remain restrained and calm.
And remember - to return the former guy at times easier than trying to keep. If a man left you for the first time - this is a bell that you should change, for example, in behavior. From now on, try to invest in relationships as much as possible so that the fire of your love will flare up more and more, every day.