Psychology and Psychiatry

Why do men return after parting

Why do men return after parting? It is impossible to give an unequivocal answer regarding the reasons for returning after separation, because it concerns the individuality of the intimate history of each unique relationship. However, the most prevalent trends are highlighted. It happens that they come back, having tried several other relationships, which gives the formation of an experienced understanding that the former woman is more suitable, her importance increases. Also, the domestic side of the issue is triggered, forcing a man who is full of romance and adrenaline to miss everyday life and his usual slippers. Occurs and played jealousy, as the engine towards the past, and the inability to experience the new happiness of the former companion. Debt to children, reproaches of friends, image at work, payment of a mortgage, a sense of shame, domestic unsuitability - everything can be a motive for return. Although the most ethically correct reason why men return to the former after parting is the desire to be together, due to mutual feelings and the same direction of life guidelines.

Before a woman becomes a difficult choice about taking back a man who wants to return. Such a passage of the crisis can give a new understanding of the relationship, and can take time and nerves, and the success of the end of such an undertaking depends on the initial motives, applied efforts and internal capabilities.

Why men return after parting - psychology

Parting is a complex emotional process experienced by women according to statistics faster, but more tragic than men. The inconsistency of speeds provides a picture when she has lived through all the stages of grief and decided to start a new life only after being freed from her memories, so the old lover appears on her threshold. The interest of women to why men return after parting to their mistress, is also generated by the feelings of those women to whom they leave when the new romance suddenly stops, and then the lady finds out that her man has returned to previous relationships.

Explaining such actions with sudden insight and understanding of your mistakes, as well as the decision to fix everything, is quite romantic, but psychology can offer some more not so comforting versions. With an inexhaustible desire to find ways of influencing return, everything is also impossible, because the reasons for encouraging a man to return are precisely in him, and only a small percentage probability of return depends on the personality characteristics and behavior of a woman. A man who does not know how to close gestalts, manipulates care, and is inclined to return will continue the old relationship, regardless of external circumstances.

Why men return after parting to their mistress can be explained by the mechanisms laid down by nature at the instinctive level. So, every man is an owner, the only difference is in how it manifests and how developed this feature is. Entering into a relationship with a woman, a man appropriates it to himself, like other achievements, from now on she herself and the space around her is his territory, the entrance to which is forbidden to others. When parting, the perception of the former woman remains the same (that is, it is still his territory of influence), and therefore, seeing her happy and cheerful (as indirect manifestations of love), or accompanied by another man (as a direct act of invading his territory) in a man defender included. It is the desire to defend his own makes him reappear, call, find out how things are going or resort to more catchy actions if the opponent is close enough. If everything is due to this particular mechanism, then as soon as the woman's eyes go out again and the flocks of fans stop curling around her, such a man will disappear.

Rising higher from the natural-animal level, one can encounter infantile reactions when a man is confident that every woman he meets will be equally well and fully take care of him, performing in some way maternal functions, not taking into account the internal features of the woman as an individual. And then, having gone to another energy and domestic space, he does not receive the degree of care he was used to. Because of the fact that the new companion is not able to perform such duties, or, because I have not yet remembered what kind of cottage cheese he likes for breakfast. Leaving back to the infantile position looks like a departure to warmth and comfort, accompanied by a collision with reality and the impossibility of all women equally with a man to handle.

But there is a return, caused by a sense of duty, guilt, or pity. It is peculiar to people with high morals and anxiety who are not capable of being fully responsible for the chosen path. A man can stay close when the former has a material crisis or has serious health problems, can stay because of children or to avoid public censure. Such visibility does not lead to good, it is deception on both sides - one pretends that he appreciates, the other pretends that he believes.

But not all internal motives of return have an unpleasant taste, and it is worthwhile to dwell on those who have a positive charge and a chance for a new development of relations. One of these reasons when a man’s care is provoked by his wife’s objective faults. It happens that a woman ceases to pay attention with time, to herself, to relationships, and the care of a man becomes even a shock, but the reason to look at her own life and where the disregard is caused. If a woman took on her appearance, instead of the usual "yes and it will do," began to attend interesting events, started new hobbies, then she becomes an interesting conversationalist. People who are enthusiastic and take part in an active external life attract not only new acquaintances, but also attract considerable interest from former partners. With such a changed woman, a man can remember his former feelings and burn with a desire to continue, especially if the reason for parting has undergone cardinal changes.

And one more reason for the resumption of relations, when none of the above is motivating, and the man really realized his own mistake, or the mistake of his woman. With real deep awareness, inner work takes place and if sincerity is present, then it is possible to discuss difficulties that seemed intractable at the moment of separation. With this approach, instead of getting rid of trouble, people choose the way to resolve them, and then a meeting at a new level becomes possible.

Why men return after parting - the opinion of men

The opinions of men regarding their own return to their former girlfriend are somewhat different than the explanations of psychology. Initially, everything starts with a simple interest in how his ex-girlfriend lives, interest on the one hand is idle, and if nothing interesting happens in her life, then maybe he will not appear again in the coming year. And if there was a career break or personal life with another guy, it causes both interest and indignation that all these buns occurred without his presence.

If the couple are connected by common children, then the man considers it quite natural to appear regularly in the life of his ex. Sometimes these appearances can cross the line, such as staying overnight or asking for loan money. Many allow themselves to expose a new man to his ex, arguing that he is the father here. Defending their territory and protecting children from the influence of another man, through the violation of the privacy of their mother. Such actions can even jump out on purpose, at a basic subconscious level.

Why does a man leave and then return? Life's prose is included when comparing new and old passions. You can pretend that we are all saints and perceive a person without the use of standards and comparisons, but if this is not the first relationship, then comparison cannot be avoided. Men say that with a new girlfriend everything seemed easier and more romantic until the reality knocked on the door with a heavy boot called “life”, and until it turned out that she was snoring, hysteria every evening and absolutely not adapted to life. At such moments, the man collapses the light image that lives in cafes and parks, and the former woman is recalled, with whom she got used to her characters and habits, and in general she remembers how his favorite meat should be roasted.

Why do men return after parting? Psychology on this score notes that comparison and laziness are the main engines for returning back. It is both easier to live with the last sweetheart, and easier to build relationships, because all the tracks to her heart have already been studied. A certain intimacy pushes men to remember and show up with their former ones, when they feel sad, when they have not signed a contract, when they have quarreled with a friend in other unpleasant situations. The habit of receiving emotional support from this woman can remain for many years. Well, then another habit is "not strangers, and that's like the relationship resumed.

A sufficiently large percentage of men to the question of what prompted the renewal of relations cannot give a clear answer, explaining that everything has somehow come together. Or, when there is a long period of lack of relationships, the reasoning of the idea tends to search for a simple and quick solution of the problem, and the girl, who has already achieved it once and left, will be easier to achieve the second time. Partly, the statement is correct, because if a girl at least responded to a new communication, then there is still something inside.

Such revelations were received in individual conversations, but if one wondered what version these same men would have told women, then everyone would prefer to tell about the desire to renew relationships, repent of their own actions, confess their love only to this single woman. Which of these is to be believed, each is decided individually, because if out of all women this man decided to build a relationship with you, then perhaps this is dictated by sincere feelings, and he really values ​​you and all that you give him.