Psychology and Psychiatry

How to change for the better

How to change for the better? The desire to develop is inherent in humanity by nature, and the desire for positive change is laid in everyone literally evolutionarily. The difference is at what stage a person begins to ask the question "how can you change for the better?". Someone to such changes is pushed by failures and criticism of others, and then the desire for improvement is a defensive reaction, a way to avoid punishment, harassment or public ignorance.

Someone changes for the sake of a certain person (to please, earn respect, build relationships) or relationships (accepting criticism of an important person and choosing to make certain changes in oneself to preserve meaningful relationships). Someone is inspired by other people's examples, and someone is bored by a bored gray vanity. New travels, acquaintances, films, illnesses, catastrophes, partings - these are all strong incentives for the beginning of changes. Leads in the list of reasons for forcing people to change fear, most often the fear of loss or deprivation of the opportunity to get what they want.

The concentration and direction of change depends on the area requiring such and globality of the decision. If one person has to change his place of residence and occupation in order to realize his dream (and this is a deliberate way of bringing visible results of improvement), then how can a person change for the better (in his own character, during his life and interaction with people), simply updating your hairstyle or wardrobe remains a mystery.

To solve each problem has its own methods. Therefore, before mindlessly following the ten-step advice on changing yourself, try to understand exactly which qualities you want to change, which ones to improve, to what extent and in which direction you want and are ready to move, what you need to do and what resources you already have. have. And to succumb to fashion trends to improve yourself, while your life suits you, is at least a stupid act, because in the process of change you can lose your old life that completely suits you.

How to change for the better character?

Character consists of many habits, elaborated reactions and methods of reaction, therefore, it is not possible to completely change it. Attempts to simultaneously get rid of all the qualities that you consider negative and all the habits that somehow interfere with your life are simply an impossible task. Having charged yourself with such a load, you can hold out for a week, and then fall back into its former state, if not in aggravated form. Break the global task into components, and work simultaneously on one or several qualities, gradually connecting the others when you cope with the first.

How can a person change for the better if he does not have a starting point for action, i.e. understanding who he is and his inner spiritual world. The resolution of any task begins with a study; in the case of a change in nature, the need to dive into the world of one’s own experiences becomes peremptory. The first question in the way of this research will be about the reasons for the need to change. Analyze what events are pushing you to this. Changes made from feelings of love and caring for oneself will have beneficial effects (reducing the propensity to irritation will save you from heart problems, developing the ability to refuse will give you more time for yourself and socializing with loved ones, practicing diligence will help to finish the project). At the same time, if you started to reshape your character for the convenience of others, then you will not be better from such a situation, and the feeling of violence over your own psyche will remain and can return to you in the form of psychosomatics (becoming compliant at the request of others you will be overwhelmed with their requests , increasing the rigidity in order to prove something to someone may turn friends away from you, and outwardly good-natured communication with those who betrayed you is fraught with the development of hypertension and peptic ulcer disease).

Listen carefully to what you are changing for and look at the results, for whom it will be easier and more joyful.

In order to change for the better in character, it is necessary to maintain a constant, rather high level of happiness and interest in one’s own life. Revise your forbidding beliefs and throw out half of them (do not go to bed, because you have to cook food, do not take away your last candy, refuse to go to the movies to please the house cleaning - these are all examples of things that can bring you pieces of happiness and well-being, and lose only false beliefs that it is impossible so). Every day, look for what will bring you joy, make sure that your life is filled with activities, hobbies, entertainment that you like, and are not popular or favored by your friends. A good character does not imply a complete adjustment to the world around, but it accurately includes an understanding of one’s needs, since this is the only way to understand and accept the differences of others.

How to make yourself change for the better? Do not delay the achievement of what is important to you, justifying it with the priority of others now or laziness, work on your perseverance. Work not to change yourself, but change your life in your direction. You can not be a convenient copy that fits into these standards. There will always be those who do not like you and you are free to compete with them, to fight, not to communicate or look for points of contact. There will always be places where you are not in the subject, and you are free to ache and stay there, go to look for others or create your own. The world is plastic, and acceptance of one's self helps to find organic ways of fulfilling needs, besides redrawing one's own personality.

How to change for the better for a girl?

When a crisis breaks out in a relationship, or a girl who walks with a silent and dissatisfied face for a week, and the relationship gets cooler, the guys start looking for ways to change for the better. The first thing to understand is to prefer actions, and, the earlier, the better, and not to conduct serious scientific research on this problem.

A common mistake of guys in their changes is that they fully focus their attention on the interests of the girl, trying to please or even predict her desires. Such tactics can greatly help. If before that you absolutely did not pay attention to it, but more often it does not bring results. To make the girl more comfortable and more interesting with you, you need to pump your own life and abilities. So instead of constantly bothering your companion, enjoy self-development — read a book from a new area for you, sign up for courses, go in for sports, open a new hobby. A person who does not stand still, develops, knows what he wants, attracts attention. Expanding the circle of your own interests, it will be easier for you to understand the girl, more topics for conversations and reasons for hanging out together. Self-development is a time-consuming and not a second way to improve yourself in the eyes of a girl, but more reliable than a presented bouquet.

Watch not only for the development of the inner world, but also for your appearance. Take care of cleanliness and tidy form of clothes, regularity of hygienic procedures, pay separate attention to your health (adjust mode, food, pastime), engage in different types (beautiful muscles, of course, delight, but dexterity, ability to handle different types of transport, accuracy will girl look admiring eyes).

How to change for the better for a girl? Look for a positive in everything and tune in to this wave. Good mood, the ability to cheer up, get out of an unpleasant situation with humor - those qualities that women appreciate in men. And of course, do not forget to take into account the wishes of your companion, because if she voiced a request to be late less often, then the first thing you should work on is your own punctuality. Girls usually make it clear what they want from the guys, do not neglect her words, because before expressing the criticism out loud, she was already silent, justified, endured, and did everything in her imagination not to make claims to you.

How to change for the better for a guy?

Girls, striving for continuous self-improvement, are guided in their activity by two factors: their own desires and desires of the guys. Usually, in order to become better for the guy in the first place are external changes. To become more feminine, change worn jeans to an airy dress, learn an exciting walk in boats on a heel - this is all the arsenal that women actively use to increase their own attractiveness in the eyes of men. Indeed, appearance plays an important role in the formation of perception and the emergence of interest, but later people get used to appearance, and a man will exchange any beautiful doll for a woman with whom he is comfortable and cozy.

The change is internal - the process is more serious and time consuming compared to external transformations. Wearing a dress and feminine look is a task for several hours, but to remain feminine in one’s actions, regardless of the wardrobe, is an art that many trainings are now devoted to. But usually guys don't need that much. They are interested in living and real girls who know themselves, their skills, strengths and weaknesses, they know what they want. Internal fullness, reliability, the ability to support in a difficult situation and the ability to understand attract the guys and make them stay close.

Know yourself, engage in your own development, accept yourself, this world and the guy who is near as they are, and you will become better not only for him, you will feel how it became more comfortable and more joyful for you to live with yourself, how the world around you began to take care of you. Become more open to the world, develop spontaneity and try to replace criticism and prejudice with the research interest of the opinions and lives of other people - such changes will not leave other people indifferent and will give space for the realization of your inner space.