Friendship between a man and a woman is a popular controversial issue that involves many zealous opponents and supporters in their discussion. Arguing about whether there are true friendships between the male and the beautiful weaker sex, some are convinced that friendship is possible, others - that there is no friendship between a man and a woman, a priori. What are the signs of friendship between a man and a woman? It is necessary to separate the friendship that we know between people of the same sex, and friendship of the same sex.
You can spend time with a friend of a different sex, keeping a distance, but living together in a shared hotel room or relaxing with strong drinks can take you out of the framework of friendship. Natural instincts play a role when they are not suppressed by illness, age or gay one. Supporters of the fact that there are no friendly relations between a man and a woman, the hidden intimate motivation of different sex friends put forward their main argument.
The exception is the communication of former lovers who fully satisfied the sexual interest, for example, having lived together for a long time. And here flashes of former sympathy of partners are likely. No wonder we know - this friendship weakens with the arrival of the night. Physiology takes its toll, at a certain stage it begins to move forward. Therefore, it is said that close friendship, as it happens with two women, two men, that they fully trust, is impossible with a man of an excellent sex, if the friends are not spouses in the past or one is not homosexual. You can intersect with co-workers or classmates, but the relationship will be in the long run, with a fair amount of conditionality, more friendly than intimate.
Many girls who want to make friends with the guys, but do not have harassment from them, choose gay as a friend, which contains a number of advantages for the latter. They usually have a narcissistic character, are alone with the interests of girls, emotional, are also focused on beauty and can make a company, give advice and unbiased opinion. They do not constitute for girls competition for the attention of heterosexual men. Such a friend can successfully take a picture, advise a beautiful hairstyle - in contrast, often his envy will not be the motive of his friends. Narcissistic women who do not tolerate competition are often friendly with homosexuals.
Friendship has a chance when he is your ex-spouse if you have lived together for a long time. You broke up, and you know each other well, you may have a child, a job, and friends. You perceive it as a relative, not as an interesting object that you want to conquer, to make a special impression. However, it happens that the former relationship did not end in reality, as psychologists say, the gestalt did not close, one side or even both cherish the hope of a revival of the relationship. Here friendship is again threatened.
In other cases, the friendship is short-lived, or it is destroyed, or a couple is formed and the relationship continues, but in a close manner. At least one almost always feels sympathy, in which, it seems to him, he has no right to confess, because then the current relationship will collapse. If you are just a friend who is afraid to open his feelings - experience suggests that it is better to make a confession, let it be hard, but necessary. When the second is truly a friend - you will be understood, and together you will come to the right decision, either not to communicate at all, wasting time, nurturing yourself with hopes, or continue to communicate, accepting sympathy, or even become a couple when feelings find reciprocity.
Is there a friendship between a man and a woman?
Often, the second half expresses dissatisfaction against the friendship of their partner with people of the opposite sex, and this is justified for the reasons discussed above. As we understood, the obligatory conditions, the real signs of friendship between a man and a woman are precisely the close relationships between them or homosexuality of one side.
Is a friendship between a man and a woman possible? Experienced people argue - that which has the appearance of a heterosexual friendship at the subtle level is a relationship. If a woman trusts a man, he is close to her emotionally - she, albeit unconsciously, perceives him as a lover. Yes, there is no intimate relationship with him, perhaps, but she is so close to him sincerely, so she opens her thoughts, her heart, they have such a warm relationship, that such friendship begins to force out relationships with the other men.
A woman by nature is focused on one man, as we know, monogamous. If a woman is friends with a foreign man, then she will no longer be friends with her husband. Since a girl’s soul mate can only have one - for a good relationship, this should be her husband. A woman who has a friend is not her husband, with her husband can have common affairs, engage in sex, but in the fullness of his love can not. Therefore, it is believed that when a woman has a friend outside the family - the family is already partially destroyed, the husband does not control the situation, and a small drop remains until the divorce. A woman has a strong need to open her soul, to tell a man about her experiences - when she does this, she gets intimate happiness, feels protection, support and care. So the girl cannot open at the same time to two men by nature.
Also impossible is a strong family and the presence of girlfriends with her husband. If a man is heterosexual, healthy, has a charge of energy - he just will not be friends, because he will be tied either emotionally or physically, he will like the character of a girlfriend, looks or manners. When a man is looking for a girlfriend - his goal in communicating with her is to relax, relax, find understanding. A man becomes easier to live, calmer. At home, he will not be so trusting with his wife, he will become cold.
If you are looking for an answer, is there a friendship between a man and a woman, you should know that when they have close, confidential communication of different sex friends of the same age, they experience an intimate attraction, even if it is subtle and unmanifested. Feeling such warm, in fact love feelings, you open your heart to him. In fact, these relationships are closer to matrimonial than to friendship.
Friendship between a man and a woman - psychology
Friendship in its pure form as a relationship, of which the topic of the relationship between the sexes is completely encapsulated, intimate, in particular, from a psychological point of view is possible, but in a very limited number of cases. And, in principle, undesirable.
What are the signs of friendship between a man and a woman? It exists only for lonely people, because otherwise the friendship will be a provocation of jealousy and rupture.
A number of examples of life shows that the opposite-sex friendship is accompanied by sympathy and often spills over into relationships. When a girl, for example, has a boyfriend and has a close friend, then at the first conflict with the boyfriend she will begin to reach out to a friend as an understanding man who is always on her side. Perhaps she will later find in this friend comfort, affection, care and, subsequently, love. Therefore, a friend often unconsciously acts as a spare airfield. Or an unscrupulous girl can dynamite a man, keeping him close as a friend, if he is located to her as a woman, pays bills in a cafe, looks after and patronizes. At the same time, he does not get a response to himself as a man, although by his actions he shows that he is counting on him. After analyzing, in the opened motives of the girl's behavior, we will find the desire to protect ourselves from failures, break with the current partner, often infantilism.
If a girl or a guy got used to such an arrangement, when they have a partner and at the same time a close friend or a friend on the side - you can even consider it as a psychological structure, a role model chosen by them. Such a triangle is well developed through the theory of Karpman, where one of the participants acts as a pursuer, another as a victim, and a third as a lifeguard. The destructiveness of following such a model lies in the fact that the participants of the triangle necessarily change roles, which forms a vicious system.
When your partner in a relationship is looking for friendship with the opposite sex - this is a sign for you, you don’t give him something, he shows what you need to work on. But also from the partner should be the desire to understand their desires, go to the dialogue and strengthen, and not continue to destroy the relationship. Or, if the relationship is young, the partners have not gotten used to it, each is as it is without change - friends can play the role of a vent, a discharge, people who are on the side of each of you. However, if you continue to trust a friend more than half, and come closer to each other - adaptation to the relationship and will not happen, they will soon cease.
Friendship between a man and a woman - the opinion of men
Men more often do not believe that friendship between a man and a woman is possible because they have experienced its fragility in their experience - their sexual instinct is more pronounced. To a woman with whom a man communicates closely, he almost always has an intimate interest. Even communication with a childhood friend in maturity develops into communication between an adult man and a woman; under the circumstances, a man will see a seductive object in a friend.
Whereas a young, romantic-minded woman may at first seek higher contact, communication, and emotional intimacy, which is easier to take in the form of friendship. The girls are therefore drawn to friendship with the guys - she has more intimacy, the degree of intimacy is higher, the relationship is intense, complementary, because they are based on the power of libido.
Experienced men, who themselves are confronted with attempts at such friendship, are skeptical about the situation when their girlfriend trusts friendship with guys, and if she gets a similar friend for herself, sometimes she loses her temper, trying in every way to end such relationships, they know their girlfriend’s friend called is actually a candidate for her heart or seeks an intimate bond. A man tries to explain it to a girl or even to her friend, he starts a conversation like a man.
If a man is serious about his girlfriend - he wants her to be completely his. It does not mean only the body, but also the soul and mind. Friendship as spiritual love takes a girl out of a relationship, leaving her partner only intimate, however, with time in this format, it often stops as the woman moves away. If a girl has a friend - she should think about the fact that on the spiritual plane she does not like her man more, she is not disposed towards him.
In countries with more stringent rules, a patriarchal mentality - the friendship of the sexes does not exist as a concept. This procedure allows you to reduce the amount of stress and focus a man on achievements. A greater degree of freedom often gives rise to jealousy, which burns most of the energy in a relationship.
An idealistic attitude towards sexuality friendship usually passes with age, experience shows the opposite, friendship turns out to be short-lived and collapses or flows into personal relationships. Girls, moreover, often retain nostalgic memories of such friends and easy communication, on the basis of what was understanding, emotional closeness and joint pastime. Since a woman also wants this from love, friendship can be analyzed as a prelude to it. The unwillingness to see the sexual instinct in such a friendship can only be a consequence of not knowing yourself and the opposite sex or deceit.
A man under the guise of friendship often hides sympathy for the girl, the desire to achieve it without a chance for it. Therefore, he agrees to be in a friend zone, hoping that a convenient moment for courtship will come, or the girl will pay attention to him. Such a friendship often turns out to be as pleasant as possible for a girl - a man subtly cares for her, cares, is ready to help out, solve problems, and the format of the relationship does not allow him to encroach on her space or having sex with her. While the girl can guess the true motivation of the guy, but, while maintaining their benefits, do not give up the relationship with him and not clarify them.