How to survive the death of a loved one? This worries everyone who has experienced heavy feelings of loss. When mourning begins at the very loss and does not last long, it does not drag out too much - it is natural, as if, if a piece of the body was cut off from us. However, if grieving is long-term, lasts for months, for years, strongly - it happens under the influence of negative programs of the psyche, which are fed by negative emotions. The loss of a loved one gives rise to a whole range of oppressive emotions, experiences that rise from the bottom of the unconscious, often again and again direct thinking at the time of loss, hurt and develop into neurotic states.
How to survive the death of a loved one
Grief, when visiting a person, gives a strange, often very individual reaction. What does psychology say about this, how to survive the death of a loved one? Virtually all people go through all the stages of mourning. Strong, strong-willed people with the habit of controlling everything, often occupied by high positions, will first clearly concentrate, do all the necessary things, give orders, and then fall into a stupor. Persons with strong somatization, on the contrary, may not even find the strength to move, they will feel completely crushed, absent, as if this is not happening to them. Frequent reaction is not to believe, not even imagine how to survive the death of a close, dear person.
For unbelief, which replaced the grief, should search for those responsible for death, thoughts that should be done in order to avoid it. Psychologists say that those who practically do not blame themselves blame themselves more. Then comes the stage of relaxation and rejection. Then a year passes, and again quickly shock, disbelief, the search for the guilty, guilt for himself, numbness, and then the worries pass. Normally, in a couple of years, the feeling of grief should leave the person.
How is it easier to survive the death of a loved one, leaving only a bright memory of him? Having recovered from the first shock of loss, you will begin to remember the good things that left behind him leaves, how many good deeds he did, what funny cases were. Such a bright memory makes it possible to talk to us about those who left at the present moment.
By burying a loved one, we go through large stages of our internal difficulties. The correct reaction is very important. Trying to hold back feelings or take sedatives is not worth it - they only break the natural course of the mourning process, for which relief will eventually come. To cry, if you want, you can, you need, even to express your complaints, accusations to the departed, how could he leave. It is easier to do for women, while men often hold back emotions, because the loss is more difficult for them to live, they are longer in severe depression.
How to survive the death of a close, dear person, if it seems that there is no strength for this? If your feelings are extremely painful, it seems that you are unable to cope with them, a long time has passed - you just have to get rid of destructive experiences, because in this way you do badly not only for yourself, but also for the memory of the deceased person. Think that a departed loved one wanted you not to worry and cry, but rejoiced, remembering your best moments. Do it for him, consider the good things in life, enjoy his memory. The worst thing you choose to do is worry and aggravate yourself. You should work on your experiences, defeating personal negative programs, learn to be happy, accepting death as a natural, natural phenomenon.
When you are in difficult long-term experiences, you cannot stop their flow - perhaps you should go to a psychotherapist specializing in living injuries, working with states of grief. Sami or with help, but you need to let go of the past, to remember him only with a positive side, with a bright memory and light emotions.
How is it easier to survive the death of a loved one? Remember his light, continue his work. What our loved ones created - they made us happier. And those parents who, having burned off the baby, give birth to the next, are doing the right thing. Children who live a month or two with their mother, if their father died, support them correctly, or support their father, if their mother died, help, keeping their lifestyles for a while, but then continue to live their full lives, pushing her and the remaining parent.
How to help survive the death of a loved one?
If a friend or colleague lives this trauma now, you will surely come across his aggressive or absent reaction. Now he is not the one that always, does not want to spend time with you, fulfill the duties of work, the state of insanity can last half a year. Now he needs a pause, a certain distance, in order to be with him - then take a step back, give him that opportunity. Indicate that you are ready to come to the rescue, but you will not tolerate his aggression. The death of close relatives does not justify the boorish behavior of people with a loss.
When your friend is not himself, he cannot cope with the situation - do not try to help him alone, sitting at night on the phone. The best help would be if you find for him a specialist who can return to the society. No need to reassure him - let him grieve. If a person cries out everything in the initial part of his mourning - he will shorten the entire period of getting out of a stressful situation.
Here the adage is true - I cannot help with words. When a loss visits a person - the main thing is to remember that no one is to blame. Man begins to often analyze, why the disaster occurred, the tragedy broke into life.
The main task for you, if you are close to a person living in a grief, is to enable him to live his loss and, if necessary, be close to support him. Of course, to the loss of a close relative, each reacts differently. It often seems that the reaction is inadequate. However, this is a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances. And the task of being close by is to support, help pass the grief, learn to live without the departed.
Often in such situations, people are lost, not knowing how to behave correctly, so as not to make things worse, not to say too much. This is your own fear of error, because it is easier for adults who themselves have already experienced the loss to help with the loss. It is worth saying simple words that you condole. This is necessary for the grieving, because condolences - it means that I am ill, relive your pain, like you yourself. Grieving then feels that he is not left alone in a difficult situation.
Is it important to talk feelings or try to distract a person, switch him to a practical course? Here we are dealing with feelings, with the inner reality of man. If the conversation helps - it is worth talking. If silence - silent. If you just sit down next to you, showing your sympathy, the person often starts talking by himself, pouring out his pain. It can even often come to tears that should not be attempted to stop, because with the help of them a person gets relief.