A love triangle is a type of relationship between people, implying romantic feelings between two participants of the situation to the same person (independently of each other, secretly, openly or legitimized, depending on the structure of society and the level of development of moral values among participants). An open and recognized triangle can be observed in countries and societies where polygamy is accepted as a device for family life (applicable to both women and women) or with the consent of all parties for whom this type of relationship is acceptable. In such a situation, problems and questions about how to get out of the love triangle in people do not arise.
Trouble begins when this kind of relationship arises in society, adhering to monogamy, and has a close relationship with conflict situations, since this state of affairs does not suit at least one of the parties. The course of such a conflict depends on the influence of society and the attitudes laid down in it, so a person of completely free views may, under the yoke of the opinions of others, collect his things and leave the triangle, although this situation is quite portable to him and is somewhere beneficial.
Gender features also influence further actions: in triangles with two men, everything develops faster and collapses quickly enough, because besides the genetically embodied spirit of rivalry and the struggle for territory, men are raised from childhood with the assurance that cheating cannot be forgiven. And triangles with two women are quite durable and stable, because if none of them feel themselves pinched (from financial to emotional support), then no one will leave. In addition, women are taken to regret in such a situation, which gives passing secondary benefits, and a man who is constantly in a light sense of guilt becomes sensitive, generous and attentive.
The causes of love triangles are varied, as are the personal needs of each. This may include the impossibility of full manifestation with one partner, the extinction of feelings or lack of something in a relationship, unconscious attitudes, resistance to find all the necessary traits in one person, the desire to escape from their own intrapersonal conflict.
What to do with a love triangle?
There are several options for living a situation with a love triangle, someone is trying to quickly leave such conditions, and someone deliberately thinks about creating triple relationships, and the difference in behavior will depend on the difference in the causes of creation.
The reasons for love triangles can be justified by the lack of brightness of their own lives (they will equally raise the level of adrenaline to such a person, both the triangle and alpinism), and may lie in an effort to reduce excessive stress and save their own spiritual strength (parting with the former partner and setting contact with the new - energy-intensive activities, but the distribution of their nervous tension between two people provides double and constant support).
On the one hand only, it seems that the triangle is beneficial only to one participant, in fact it is a fairly stable relationship figure, covering the needs of the participants. So before you blame your partner, listen to what your personal injuries can cover such a situation. It can be the fear of establishing direct relations with your partner, and then it is very convenient to be angry with the transformation of anxiety and the horror of your own world perception about the presence of third-party communication. This may be unprepared for serious and meaningful relationships, so a person who is unconsciously chosen is not currently capable of building something monumental (it often happens that once a person makes a choice between two partners, both of them leave, because now you have to build real relations, not a demo version, for which there was no internal readiness, resources and experience). This may be a reluctance to make choices and be responsible, aggravating the situation until the other two participants decide everything themselves (infantile position of avoidance).
The love triangle should push, first of all, to study your own spiritual injuries and resources in order to make the most nutritious decision in terms of energy and mental health in the future - it can be a decision to stay and continue, realizing that during destruction you will lose more valuable things, and there may be a decision about immediate care, like saving your own life and the integrity of your manifestation.
It is important to keep in mind that with the direct and thoughtless elimination of the third participant, the most frequent options for consequences are either destruction and tandem relations, or the emergence of a new third participant. Since the very fact of the emergence of a third participant in a relationship happens because of a destabilization of the relationship system, then a third person, taking over some of the energy, balances the relationship and allows them not to disintegrate. Without working through internal conflicts, such situations will return, if not the emergence of new lovers, then getting into the lives of relatives and friends, communicating through children - the ways not to meet directly with a real person are endlessly diverse.
When clarifying relationships to further define actions, talk on an equal footing, no matter what role you are in. Accusations, feelings of guilt and shame, reproaches and a call to conscience will be relevant for your neighbors, who will want to discuss all the details and make their "expert opinion", and you should have an equal dialogue, because family is a system and a change in one element is impossible without changing everything, and everyone is involved in this situation (by their actions or inactions, impulsive reactions or withholding feelings).
Tips for getting out of a love triangle
Out of relationships that do not bring happiness and have no prospects, including from the triangle, even with disgusting well-being inside the situation, is problematic and will cause you to face many difficulties added by the participants of the process and actualized own internal demons.
But there are ways how to get out of the love triangle, for each different. For the one who arranged the triple relationship, it is worth deciding which of the participants he needs most. Situations can be different and at the sight of the collapse of everything, it may turn out that great new love turned out to be just a passion, or that the old relationship is no longer there, or maybe at the most honest level none of the partners is needed. Determined, act clearly and purposefully, remember that the triangular system strives for consistency, the partner from whom you decide to leave can become extremely charming, and can use threats, provocations and blackmail. It is necessary to show firmness, to leave once, not forgetting things, not calling by old memory, and even more so, not running from one to another. This is not all over, but rather just begin. Your own heartache will begin, a lapping with a chosen partner at a new level will begin, overcoming problems of trust and much more.
For the one who was the first regular partner, it will be relevant to think about the fact that you yourself were profitable. It is possible that you have long wanted to end this relationship, but you didn’t allow yourself unreasonable care, and you might like to play the leading role, against the background of the guilt of your partner. If you decide to break this relationship, then just leave, and if you decide to tear down the triangle as a type of existence, and the partner is still dear to you and love you, then have courage, not expecting that everything will go by itself, and inform about your unwillingness to continue in such the spirit. Then you only need to wait for the choice of a partner, perhaps not in your favor, but this will be a way out of triple relationships. The important point is to wait quietly (without wringing your hands and feeding borscht) and at a distance (live somewhere else).
If you are involved in a triple relationship, then sort out your own motives. If you want from a person serious actions and further joint future, you should leave the triangle, telling him about your unwillingness to be in such a format of relations. After that, you stop all interaction and wait for a certain time (discuss in advance, for example, that the person has two weeks to make a decision and complete the work), and then, depending on this choice, you either meet him on the threshold, or mark the end of an agonizing relationship . Try to make a balanced decision, and do not dismiss the situation, look at your partner as a person who is constantly holding you and the second one in love, think whether the situation will change fundamentally or you will play a different role in the same triangular shape.
Whatever role you are in, the only thing that remains equally important for everyone is that if there is an intolerance and a true desire to leave (and not an illustrative manipulative performance, in order to increase its significance), you should act as soon as possible. The triangular systems decelerate with their stability, and with each extra day spent there the possibility of leaving the triangle will diminish, and the determination will begin to evaporate in the air. It will not be easy, it will be hard, painful and incomprehensible how to live further, but these wounds can be licked, the forces can be restored, and life guidelines can be found if you direct energy not to self-destruction (in trying to drink alcohol with grief), but to self-knowledge. Continuing to be in such a relationship, you save energy at this moment, avoiding making decisions, clarifying relationships, possibly scandal, but thereby dooming yourself to energy and mental devastation, because the energy simply takes three times more than complex, but open tandem.