How to get rid of the negative? This question is quite relevant in our stressful time. Destructive emotions, negative experiences, the influence of people on our lives change our emotional state, attitude and destructive action begins on the part of physical health. The treatment of certain physical diseases is useless until a person restructures his own life and its emotional content. It was by noticing such a connection that a separate branch appeared - psychosomatics, which helps to combat poor state of mind with psychological methods. But it is better to prevent the problem and develop its own ways of how to get rid of the negative in the soul, until its influence has spread throughout life.
Of the methods of getting rid of the negative, widespread affirmations, switching attention, ignoring, leaving the traumatic situation. They are popular, widely advised and effective only in light, not particularly offending cases. In a situation of artificial positive thinking and retreating experiences, we risk to be in the ward of a psychoneurological dispensary with a severe degree of latent depression, into which we drove ourselves. Switching, leaving perfectly mask, but does not solve the problem and does not eliminate the negative, and when you re-encounter a similar situation, the dose of unpleasant experiences will increase, because the skill of getting rid of the negative has not been learned, the pain points remained in the dark zone.
The question arises how to get rid of negativity in life in an environmentally friendly way, when emotions are recognized and find a way out, but they do not destroy relatives or relationships (yelling at someone is also a way to reduce their own tension, but this method is hardly environmentally friendly). The primary task will be the revision of existing relationships and their own behavior in order to increase the negative. People who constantly accuse, condemn, use you to throw out their anger, poison your daily existence with a slow poison, so by minimizing contact with them, you minimize the level of negative. Your own behavior and the choice of sources of information is the key to quality of life - when you follow news about maniacs and follow military events while in a peaceful region, you add experiences to yourself and become more vulnerable to the negative that appears in your life.
After inventorying the sources of the negative and understanding their categories, you can begin to work - with your own emotions, with the environment, with the merging of someone else's negative into your emotional sphere.
How to get rid of the negative within yourself
In a situation where the forces are becoming less and less, and the feeling of the influence of the negative on life does not leave, you should figure out how to get rid of the negative in the soul, accumulated heavy experiences. Emotions can be different: insult, not expressed and not forgiven, shame, poisoning the continued existence, anger, hidden by social desirability, tears, pain, jealousy, envy. A huge number of feelings, which we consider negative, do not want to feel and still carry in ourselves, sometimes for years.
As soon as the memory immerses you back into negative experiences, instead of running away from them - give them the right to be, living the feelings leads to their release, release of energy and the opportunity to rejoice. In addition to going to a psychotherapist or spiritual mentor, to trainings or meditative groups, there are ways that are more everyday and accessible to everyone without the guidance of specialists, although this does not negate the fact that a person specializing in mental problems will help to get out faster and less traumatic. But if you do not consider such an opportunity, then independent work with paper that will endure everything and help to pour out feelings to the outside world will help. You can draw your very feeling (possibly in several drawings with its transformation), the situation (and ways of its desired resolution), actions that you cannot allow yourself in reality (the car’s burning machine, your mother-in-law’s kick), and you can write letters without being embarrassed in expressions and formulations (and then they can be burned, if released after the first message, processed, in an acceptable form to convey to the addressee or leave for further work, if there is a feeling of incomplete release).
Use your own body to get rid of the negative, because the lion’s share it holds it (when you do not hit someone it remains tension in your hand, when the tears held back - eyes are tense, not raised voice - throat spasm). All our restrained, unreleased emotions remain in the physical shell and continue to harm the body when we no longer notice it. So beat a pear and a sofa, when you did not hit the offender, run the mileage in the stadium, when you remained to withstand the terrible situation, shout, retiring in the park or at a concert - your task is to respond to the stopped actions in a safe situation, without harming yourself and others. And with old blocks in the body, massage or body-oriented therapy will help to cope. Do not be surprised if emotions unreasonable by the situation come to rest as the muscles relax - it means that trauma and suppressed tension weaken.
Recognition of emotions and your own ability to experience them makes you alive, albeit uncomfortable. Lifting the ban to be angry (“good girls don't cry”), get upset (“men don't cry”), defend themselves (“educated people do not argue”) can take many years of therapy to understand that these are not our attitudes, but the words of adults from the distant past, in which we believed, but which are not obliged to correspond for the sake of their convenience. Maybe in childhood this was true, because without an adult a child cannot survive, and is obliged to accept the rules of the game, but many continue to carry out these lost installations throughout their lives.
How to get rid of people's negativity
In addition to their own internal negative experiences, people are influenced by external factors, incidents, people. And if how to get rid of the negative in life brought by random events is not clear, then what to do with the negative brought by very specific people, there are several ways.
First of all, identify those who merge their negativity into you - it may be quite obvious, and you will be surprised at this advice, but there are cases when people do not perceive a person negatively, they simply lose energy, their head starts to hurt, the level of anxiety or tension rises, and perhaps a sense of danger arises or pressure rises. Any changes in the emotional or physical sphere in the presence of a number of a certain person are alarming bells about the negative, sent in your direction.
Watch the person’s motivation, if by any means he shakes an emotional reaction out of you in order to feed himself, then try not to answer anything, smile and ask to say something positive. Such a tactic does not allow a person to feed off of you, points out to his own shortcomings, but can negatively affect you if you do this through force, then when they themselves are already hooked and the emotional reaction is launched. To prevent this from happening, you can try one of the visualization techniques to isolate others from the negative, imagining the flow of waterfall between you or the bright light surrounding you and protecting you, you can reduce your opponent to tiny sizes - your imagination, where your rules work, will help you choose the right image or come up with an effective one. People who do not generate, but live at the expense of your psychic energy, must be separated from your own emotions, but since they are not able to generate energy on their own when you try to ignore them, efforts to get your attention will increase. This is a difficult struggle, where exactly you are not in an advantageous position, because a person is used to getting a certain dose of reactions from you and knows your features, so he will not ignore any methods, even the most painful ones for you. There is only one way out - and not to lose ground, to pretend to be an empty barrel, incapable of reaction, such a semi-tomb, uninteresting and unpromising in terms of emotional buildup.
If you have the opportunity to analyze the situation, without direct participation in it, then take a closer look, than a person who is currently bringing negative can be useful to you. Since any feature can be used in the right perspective, your task is to discern it and send it in a direction that is useful and not destructive to you. Also, in order to rarely fall into negatives from people, assess the situation beforehand - when entering the room, slow down to assess the emotional state of those present by facial expressions, gestures, and then, being guided by the situation, you will be able to more intelligently build communication and, if necessary, protection.
How to get rid of someone else's negative - advice from a psychologist
Get rid of someone else's negative in your own life - the task is not for a day, it requires constant attention and strict adherence to the rules, often breaking them several times, you plunge back into the swamp out of your troubles.
Take care of your own boundaries: this applies to your space, where no one will disturb you, the time you spend, whatever you want, to manage your emotional and material resources. Look at your life and appreciate how much freedom you have in these manifestations, it is quite possible that somewhere good and close people decide a lot for you, and you continue to move your line. Of course, maintaining the inviolability of borders requires courage, a certain amount of aggressiveness and manifestation of strength, but the inability to comply with them leads to the fact that your personal boundaries are outlined by other people, and they are outlined because it is convenient for them and not for you. In such conditions, you lose the opportunity to recover and feel your own needs, you lose the ability to say no, when your friend's complaints are nauseous, when you can’t help out permanently suffering relatives. Therefore, every second monitoring of your own boundaries and awareness of where you move them a little for a while, and where you don’t go one iota, should be accumulated to automaticity.
Distance from the negative correctly, without leaving the situation, interrupting the contact, but by tracking your reactions and the ability of the psyche to perceive information. Because, empathizing with people, we experience the same emotions as they, but to a lesser extent, and overloading with our problems and in the appendage of others, the psyche may hang. Just like a computer, and refusing to work further - manifested in getting stuck in one paragraph, meaningless scrolling through a tape or a book, in the worst case, problems with sleep begin. All the symptoms scream about the required stop and switching attention to yourself, what can be done by describing to yourself the situation where you are, without complications (your city, what is happening in your family, what you are sitting on - describe yourself your reality), and returning bodily sensitivity (stretch your muscles, walk barefoot, eat sour - the task is to turn on and shake body awareness as much as possible). Such a return to yourself allows you not to dive into someone else's negative.
Get rid of the influence of someone else's negative allows a creative change in your day. Try instead of a social tape to read a book, instead of a film to see an exhibition of pictures, instead of yelling at the offender, offering him help, because happy people do not offend. Partially received by someone else’s negative is able to neutralize someone else’s positive, and the more the better. For such a bun, you can go to shelters and hospitals, boarding schools and volunteer organizations - there will definitely be those who need your help, and the gratitude and joy brought will also raise your spirits. It is not necessary to go to such places, you can help those who live nearby, or arrange a fun holiday for the guys from their own yard.
The ability to find a positive in any event or to perceive it as an impetus to development is an invaluable quality that makes any negative directed in your direction useless.