Age crises are natural transition stages for each person, knowledge of which is extremely in demand. If a person, living a specific period, does not reach the goals set by age, a number of problems of a general and psychological kind appear. Everyone wants to live happily and for a long time, moreover, to remain until the last in mind, to remain active. Only desires, however, are few here, psychologists are sure that the success of passing age crises influences the fullness of life.

From what age do crises begin, do they have age restrictions, how do crises unfold in different sexes? In a crisis, you usually do not want to act, how can you find the desire to move again?

The concept of age crisis

How is the concept of crisis revealed, what are its symptoms, timeframes? How to distinguish a crisis from other psychological problems, ordinary fatigue? The word crisis from its ancient Greek root means a decision, a turning point, an outcome. Indeed, a crisis is always associated with the adoption of a decision, the need for change. A person is aware of the onset of the crisis period, when he sums up the achievement of goals set earlier in life, and is not satisfied with the result - he looks into the past and analyzes what he has not received.

Throughout our lives, we go through several crisis periods, and each of them does not come suddenly, but through the accumulation of dissatisfaction due to the discrepancies between what was expected and what really came about. Therefore, the midlife crisis is known more than others, because a person lived most of his life and began to think about the past and achievements, and often compare himself with others.

It happens that in a word a crisis a person covers up his other mental illnesses that are not related to the passing of age stages. If age crises in children are easily observed, then in an adult person the time frame can shift, usually each stage is given 7-10 years, besides, one can pass almost without a trace, and the other will be obvious even to others. However, the content of the crisis at each age is universal, taking into account time shifts in one crisis there may be, for example, people 30 and 35 years old, solving approximately the same problems.

Crises of age development should be distinguished from personal biographical crises associated with such objective conditions as, for example, graduation from school, the loss of relatives or property. Crises of age development are characterized by the fact that outwardly a person is fine, bad, but inside. A person begins to provoke changes, sometimes destructive, in order to change life and the internal situation, while others around him may not understand him, consider the problems of a person far-fetched.

Age Crises in Psychology

Even Vygotsky said that a perfectly adapted child does not further develop. An adult is literally insured against such a stagnation - as soon as he somehow became comfortable in life, a crisis arises, requiring change. Then comes a period of rather lengthy lull, replaced again by a new crisis. If a crisis makes a person develop, what is development? More often it is understood as a certain progress, improvement. However, there is a phenomenon of pathological development - regression. We are talking about the development that brings changes of a higher order. Practically everyone passes through some crises safely, whereas a crisis, for example, mid-life, often confuses a person and unfolds his development. The essence of the crisis is well conveyed by the Chinese character, containing at once two meanings: danger and opportunity.

Psychologists have identified common age patterns of crises, which allows us not only to prepare in advance for them, but also to successfully pass each stage, fully mastering the tasks of each beautiful age. In literally every age stage, there is necessarily a need for a decision, which is given by society. Solving problems, a person lives his life more safely. If a person does not find a solution, he has a certain number of problems, of a more acute nature, which need to be addressed, otherwise, it threatens not only neurotic states, but also a knockout of life. Each stage has the so-called regulatory crises, some of which, such as crises of 20 and 25 years, are rather poorly described, while others, crises of 30 and 40 years, are known to almost everyone. Such fame, these crises owe their often obscure destructive power, when a person who is in visible well-being suddenly begins to drastically change his life, to perform reckless acts associated with the collapse of earlier meanings, which he relied on.

Age crises in children are well observable and require the attention of parents, since the failure of each crisis to accumulate into the next. Children's crises are especially strongly imprinted on a person’s character and often set the direction of their entire life. So, a child without a basic trust may be in adulthood incapable of deep personal relationships. A person who did not feel independence in childhood does not have the ability to rely on personal strength, remains infantile, and all his life is looking for a replacement for the parent in the spouse, the bosses, or seeks to dissolve limply in a social group. A child who is not taught diligence, in adulthood, has problems with goal-setting, internal and external discipline. If you miss the time and do not develop the skills of the child - then he will have a number of complexes and experience because of this difficulty, he will need efforts many times more. A huge number of adults did not go through the adolescent age crisis, did not take full responsibility for their lives, their natural rebellion was muffled, but now the unresolved passes through the whole life through a red thread. Even in a mid-life crisis, childhood is reminiscent of itself, since the greatest number of shadow contexts were formed in childhood.

In each crisis, a person needs to be given the due time, not trying to avoid sharp corners, to live through the themes of the crisis in its entirety. There are, however, gender differences in the passage of crises. This is especially noticeable in the mid-life crisis, when men evaluate themselves for career achievements, financial security and other objective indicators, and women for family well-being.

Age crises are also directly related to the acute theme of age, since it is generally believed that all good things can be present only in youth, this belief is strongly fueled by the media and often even thanks to the opposite sex. Significant external changes, when you no longer manage to convince others and yourself in your own youth, raise a lot of psychological problems, some people just at this stage through the exterior are aware of the need for internal personal changes. If a person tries, inappropriately to his age, to young - this indicates a crisis that has not passed, the rejection of his age, body and life in general.

Age crises and their characteristics

The first crisis stage, corresponding to the age from birth to one year, correlates with trust in the surrounding world. If a child does not have the opportunity from birth to be in the arms of loved ones, at the right time he will receive attention, care - even as an adult, he will hardly trust the people around him. The reasons for painful caution regarding others often lie precisely in those childhood unmet needs that we tried to tell our parents with our loud cry. Perhaps there were no parents at all, which is becoming a prerequisite for a world of mistrust. That is why it is important that up to a year there were close people nearby who can satisfy children's need for the first shout. This is not a whim, not self-indulgence, but a necessity inherent in this age.

The second stage, which is usually distinguished by psychologists - age from 1 to 3 years. Then autonomy becomes established, the child often wants to do everything himself - it is important for him to make sure that he is capable of it. At the same time, we often meet with childish whims, hysterics, stubbornness, which were not there before, rejection and rejection of an adult, and the child’s attempts to establish itself above adult. These are natural moments for this period, it must be passed. Adults should put boundaries in front of the child, tell what to do, what not, why. If there are no boundaries, a small tyrant grows up, who subsequently torments his whole family with his problems. It is also important to support the child, to allow him to do something on his own. Also now the concept of shame is laid, children are often interested in their genitals, there comes an awareness of the difference from the opposite sex. It is important not to pull up the child, not to be ashamed of the natural interest.

In the next period, from 3 to 6 years, the foundations of diligence, love for domestic affairs are appropriated. The child can already perform almost all domestic work under the supervision of an adult himself, if this does not allow the child to show his initiative, he will not get used later, setting goals and achieving them. If the child wants to wash the floor, water the flowers, try vacuuming - teach him. But this must be done not by prodding and orders, but by playing. Role-playing games become very important, you can play with dolls, with book characters, even make figures for yourself, for example, out of paper, play a scene that will be interesting for your child. Take the child to the puppet theater to watch the characters interact. The child receives information through his parents, the development of the child depends on them in the right and harmonious way.

The subsequent period is a period of circles, from 6 to 12 years. The child now needs to be maximally loaded with what he wants to do. It is necessary to know that now his body well remembers the accepted experience, the child will retain all the skills mastered in a given period of time for the rest of his life. If he dances, he will dance beautifully all his life. With singing, playing sports in the same way. He may not become a champion, but he will be able to further develop his abilities in any period of life in the future. When there is an opportunity to drive a child to the mugs - do it, take time as far as possible. Intellectual development is useful, because now the child receives basic information, which will be useful to him further, will help to form the thinking.

The period is adolescent, the next is probably the hardest, since most parents resort to psychologists precisely because of the difficulties in communicating with a teenage child. This is a period of self-identification, if a person fails to pass through it, then in the future it may remain limited in its potentials. A growing person begins to wonder who he is and what brings to the world, what is his image. It is during adolescence that different subcultures are born, children begin to pierce their ears, change their appearance sometimes even before self-destruction, unusual hobbies can appear. Teens resort to interesting forms of clothing that attract attention, emphasize or, on the contrary, reveal all the flaws. Experiments with appearance can be limitless, they are all tied to the child’s acceptance of his body, which at this age changes significantly. It is pleasant or not like a teenager, the problems of each are strictly individual, because parents have a sense to talk carefully about the complexes associated with a change in his appearance.

Parents should carefully monitor the adolescent's behavior when they are sure that the chosen uniform does not suit the child - gently tell him this, and also see who is surrounded by the adolescent, who belongs to the company, because what he will take from the outside world, will play a dominant role in the future. It is also important that before the eyes of a teenager there should be examples of decent adults that he would like, since later he will be able to adopt their behavior, manners, habits. If there is no such example, for example, the family consists only of a mother and a son - you need to give him the opportunity to communicate with relatives of his own sex, so that he knows how a man should behave. It is important that a teenager find his style, his image, how he wants to express himself to this world, what his goals and plans are. Right now, adults should discuss this with the child. Even if the child does not seem to want to listen to you - anyway, he probably listens to you, your opinion is weighty for him.

In the next period from 20 to 25 years, a person is completely separated from his parents, begins an independent life, because this crisis is often noticeable more than others. This crisis of separation, however, is the opposing desire for a merger. At this stage it is important to start a close personal relationship with a person of the opposite sex. If there is no such relationship, then the person did not pass the previous adolescence as it should, did not understand who he is, who he wants to see next to him. At this age, relationship issues are super-relevant, it is important to learn to communicate with the opposite sex. Also important are friendship and professional contacts, the search for a new social circle, in which person is already included, as an adult person. Will he take responsibility for personal steps? Errors will certainly, it is important how the person will act - whether he returns under the parent wing or finds a replacement for the parents in the partner, thereby regressing again in childhood, or will be responsible for the decisions made with their consequences. The neoplasm of this crisis is responsibility. The complexity of this age is still the prevailing image of social acceptability, when a still very young person is expected to be successful in school, work, have deep relationships, look good, have a lot of hobbies, be active, active. The conflict is here that to start pleasing social desirability means losing yourself, not allowing personal, individual potentials to open up, separation does not happen, a person will walk along the path that was trodden by the expectations of others around him, will not take maximum responsibility for his life.

Social unacceptability at the described stage often indicates that the person is in contact with himself. The guys do it better, because the society gives them more opportunities for that. Resistance to authorities, remaining from adolescence, is already beyond the scope of the family, instead of mom and dad, a person begins to resist, for example, his superiors. One of the scenarios for the passage of this crisis is a predetermined fate, when the family outlined in advance, painted the path of the person. Often this is a professional direction, but family life in conservative traditions may also be involved. In this scenario, a person does not use the possibility of separation from parents, as if bypassing the crisis of 20 years, deceiving him, but the topic of personal self-determination and separation remains, returning to the person sometimes even after 10-20 years, already being painful. A non-passing crisis is superimposed on the next one, and choosing a direction will often have a family, children, which is more difficult. Prolonged professional self-determination, when you have to change the scope of work to 30 years, starting with the new - also turns out to be a daunting task.

A very fruitful period begins with 25 years, when it comes the opportunity to receive the life benefits that he had hoped for as a teenager. Usually in this period you really want to quickly get a job, start a family, have children, make a career. Will and desire are laid from childhood, if this does not happen - life can be boring and hopeless. The crisis echoes the theme of self-esteem, when a person wonders what he can respect for himself. The subject of achievements and their collecting here is at its peak. By the age of 30, there is an assessment of a previous life, an opportunity to respect oneself. Interestingly, extroverts at this stage often tend to equip the outer part of life, forming a tree of social ties, while introverts rely on their own personal resources and deep relationships in a limited circle. If there is a significant imbalance when, for example, a person has been engaged in social contacts for a long time, succeeded at work, made a career, created a social circle and image in society - now he begins to think more about home comfort, children, family relationships.

On the contrary, if the first 10 years of mature life were devoted to the family, which is often a female scenario, when a girl married, became a mother and a housewife - then this crisis requires leaving the nest to the outside world. To pass this crisis, a person needs to have a collection of achievements. Она имеется у каждого, однако не каждый себя способен уважать, что часто бывает при концентрации на недостатках. Также на этом этапе есть возможность работать личностно над собой, поменять жизнь на ту, какой она понравится. Посмотрите, чего вам не хватает.Perhaps this is a close person, think about how he should be, what kind of person you would like to see alongside, and how much you yourself respond to the image of a loved one that you have conceived for yourself. If you are not completely satisfied with the work, you want to change the scope of activities, but you don’t have any idea how to do this - try to start with a hobby, hobbies that you can transfer to the category of permanent work. Also think about how you relax, whether your vacation brings you good or bad. After all, rest takes up most of personal time, and its lack of a negative impact on the quality of life, various distressive situations arise, which would not exist if you had a good and complete rest. During this period, often a person becomes a parent and wants to help children live a better life. Ponder what foundations you lay in them, going through your own life, what you got in your childhood, what was not enough, whether there is trust in the world, and if not, what prevented it from forming.

The next mid-life crisis is favored by the attention of not only psychologists, but also the inhabitants. For most in the middle of life, everything is stabilized, and when a person suddenly begins, for reasons not clear to others, and sometimes even causes himself to suffer, he finds himself in a tangled situation. The beginning of the crisis is accompanied by a state of boredom, loss of interest in life, a person begins to make some kind of external changes that do not lead to the desired relief, nothing changes inside. The primary must be precisely the internal change, which, if it has happened, may not bring about external changes. A lot of films have been made about the mid-life crisis, when men are more likely to have mistresses and women go to children, which does not change the situation. Successful passage of the crisis is not connected with external attempts at change, but with an internal absolute acceptance of life, which gives a wonderful, harmonious state of mind. At this stage, there is no longer a question of achievement and self-esteem, but only of accepting oneself, life as it is. Acceptance does not mean that everything will stop - on the contrary, development will only go more intensively, since a person stops the war within himself. A truce with oneself releases a lot of energy for a more productive life, more and more new opportunities are opening up. A person asks questions about the mission of his life, and, moreover, he can accomplish much by discovering his true meanings.

A crisis of 40 years initiates a spiritual search, poses global questions to a person for which there are no definite answers. This conflict is connected with the psychological structure of the Shadow - those inappropriate contexts that a person endlessly represses, trying to lie even to himself. Growing up children do not allow a person to be younger than they are, demanding wisdom from the parent. The existentiality of this crisis is reinforced by the experiences of the transience of time, when it is no longer possible to write drafts, you have to live clean, and it is pleasing that there is still an opportunity for this.

The crisis of 50-55 years again puts a man on a fork, on one road he can go to wisdom, on the other - to marasmus. A person makes an internal choice, will he live or live, what next? The socium informs a person that often he is no longer in trend, in different positions he has to give way to growing up youth, including in the profession. Often here a person tends to be needed by others, leaves to take full care of his grandchildren, or clings to work, fearing to step back. However, a harmonious outcome of the crisis will be to let go of everything, to inform yourself first that you have given up all possible social debts, are not obliged to anyone, now you are free to do what you want. For such a adoption of life and desires, you must go through all the previous crises, because you will need material resources, resources of relationships and self-perception.

About the last period, from 65 years, we often think that life at this age is already ending. The phenomenon of death has already been personified, since there is experience in the care of loved ones from life. However, this is a very valuable and interesting time in which you can rely on your life, there is something to remember, something to share, something to rejoice when your close people are grateful for the care we have had and we are grateful for their presence. This is the time of gaining the wisdom that a person can bring to the family, relatives, environment, even the world. You can, for example, start writing, do your favorite thing, travel or just relax on the couch, now no one will say that it is to your detriment. Do not forget to move, then at absolutely any age you will always feel good, go through all the crises as it should be.

Features of age crises

What if a person does not mark the passage of crises in his life, does it mean that there were none? Psychologists are convinced that the psychological crisis is as natural as the changes of the human body with age. Not to realize that now they are living through a psychological crisis, people with a low level of reflection, inattention to themselves can, when he pushes his distress away. Or, a person in every way holds back feelings within himself, fearing to destroy his positive image before others, to show himself as a person with problems. Such non-survival, ignoring the crisis afterwards gives the unification of all uncompleted stages, like an avalanche. Needless to say, this is a difficult outcome, an enormous psychological burden, which a person sometimes cannot cope with.

Another variant of the atypical course of crises is often observed in hypersensitive individuals open to changes and transformations of the personality. They are prone to prevention, and when the first symptoms of the coming crisis appear, they immediately try to draw conclusions and adapt. Crises they flow softer. However, this anticipatory approach does not fully immerse in the lesson that a person is in crisis.

Each crisis contains something that will help a person on a further segment of life, provides support for the passage of the following crises. A person does not develop linearly, he develops in steps, and the crisis is just that moment of a breakthrough in development, after which there is a period of stabilization, a plateau. Crises help individuals grow, we do not grow on our own, we don’t want to go out of balance on our own, and it seems there’s no need. Because the psyche involves our internal conflicts. Thanks to crises, a person, though uneven, is growing all his life.