Psychology and Psychiatry

How to make peace with a friend

How to make peace with a friend? Moments of thinking about how to make peace with a girlfriend happen in each life, and these thoughts are harder than the resumption of male-female relations. Contrary to numerous jokes and sarcasms about the absence of female friendship, it is she who can represent the most significant relationships for many women.

Men can be, and can throw, work to appear and change, and the person who passes all this episodes together with you becomes more and more expensive. Often, these relationships resemble warmer and stronger than family relationships; after all, it is up to her friend to come drunk at dawn to pull onto the roof and complain about how she didn’t grow together with anyone, without fear of hearing morals and reproaches about her condition. As in any close relationship, in friendly relations, misunderstandings and friction arise, scandals that arise out of nowhere and silent resentment. The task of each mature personality is to develop the ability to build and rebuild relationships, resolve conflicts, without slipping into kindergarten taking their toys from the sandbox.

How to make peace with her friend if she does not want to talk

When you think how to make peace with your best friend, a cycle of thoughts lead to a search for the guilty and the reason, instead of looking for meetings and the right words. The axiom of any relationship is that there is no uniquely guilty and right-wing, both parties are involved in any conflict, and both have already contributed to their behavior, instead of reconciliation, hostility ensues. Bring your thoughts to sober reasoning and before fully blaming yourself, think about where your girlfriend was wrong (objectively, you could be an hour late than to thwart an important event, but if before that she brought the brain to you by discussing this event with constant reminders then your brain went satiety and the response of the subconscious mind looked like this).

Perhaps your friend’s rights are not completely right and you are waiting for her apologies, or you are planning to have occasional meetings to give her a reason for repentance, but think about your own contribution to her mistake (if your boyfriend went to her, remember how much you praised her overnight or left them alone for days). Prepare for the fact that two equal positions should take part in the dialogue, since friendship implies interaction on an equal footing, and not the elevation of someone and the presence of the whole truth of only one (no one is completely objective).

After waiting a sufficient amount of time, during which the emotions had to cool down, you can make contact, and as much as possible openly discuss the conflict, agree on the rules and nuances of further interaction, but how can you reconcile with your girlfriend if she does not go to meet is a complicated task. Refuse to involve your acquaintances in a relationship and a truce of mutual acquaintances - these are exclusively your relationships, and heightened activity on the part of even benevolent people can aggravate the conflict, and after clarifying the conflict, people will remember such an incident for a long time and remind you by asking uncomfortable questions. So, it is better to act the most, and it will create less problems and will be higher in efficiency, because hardly anyone knows the best friend better than you and will be able to find a better approach to it than you.

Choose any messenger or social program and send her a message, then you just have to wait for an answer. If she answered, then in the correspondence try to designate only the essence of your appearance, and then invite her to the meeting, in order to find out all the details with personal direct contact.

If a friend is offended quite strongly and does not respond, then you can call, although it is likely that she will not pick up the phone. Then either sweep aside pride and your own claims completely or assess their fundamental importance, since the next step will be to initialize your personal meeting in the most insolent way - a trip to it. Before such a trip, listen to your own feelings, and if it seems that the message and the call were enough, and the rest is within the boundaries of the violation of the boundaries of the personality, then leave the girlfriend alone. Perhaps, she needs more time to realize the importance of your friendship, and perhaps your quarrel was critical and relations cannot be resuscitated. If she just sulks from stubbornness, and she herself is very sorry about what happened, then get ready and go to visit. Options that the door does not open will not happen, because for this you need to be completely strangers. You can also bring along a cake, fruit, wine or other favorite goodies and wave this gift into the peephole.

In addition, such quarrels and the unwillingness of a person to sort things out later are an important characteristic of the personality and sometimes more logical and more environmentally friendly in relation to their own soul, instead of finding a way to make peace with the best friend, think about the possibility of changing the format of the relationship. People are equal partners, and not one is in a principled position while the other revolves around him, and you may be better off in friendly relations, not so traumatic. Otherwise, all my life I will have to ride to her door with a cake. If you understand that her behavior is dictated by the situation, and not by the peculiarities of character, then expressing your position, putting your vision of the situation, desires and attitude to the situation on the shelves, leave the horizon - you shouldn’t knock it aside as a nasty fan, but always stay In touch, congratulations on holidays, give gifts. Such behavior will make it clear that she is valuable to you, you respect her decision and can give her time to understand the situation.

Gradually, relations will begin to warm up, you will meet more often in companies, joint business will arise again and the main thing is to support this renewal and not force events. Since excessive directness and perseverance cause the opposite effect. But do not forget somewhere in the middle of the normalization of communication to discuss the details of the situation that led to such consequences, for now to pretend that nothing happened is stupid, but to understand that each other was hooked remains necessary to avoid repetition.

How to make peace with a friend if I am guilty

Despite the fact that all the participants are always guilty, you can clearly understand how and how you offended your girlfriend, then the first step of reconciliation is yours, you should not wait for the time when the girlfriend forgets and forgives if you want to keep these relations in a friendly way. There are people who do not complicate life and are able to take the place of another, to such only come up with an apology, and they explain instead of you what you meant. There are few of these, but even such should be approached first to demonstrate the importance and significance of the feelings of this person for you and the value of these relationships, as well as to show an understanding that you made a mistake.

With not so understanding and wise people, it is top priority to explain, and if you notice how your girlfriend's expression changes from what your phrase or action is. It is better to apologize instantly, until a more or less simple feeling of inconsistency was wound up with a snowball that you took her blue spatula in the kindergarten.

Apologize, explain that expressing a thought, you expressed only your point of view, and did not assert it as a truism (a statement about the inadmissibility of wearing black can be perceived on a personal account if it stands next to all in black, but it was meant that you personally, this is not terrible). Try to reformulate your statement from a personal face and about feelings, instead of criticizing and dictating certain behavior. If the dispute is beyond the limits of an incorrectly chosen word, and you disagree on some specific concept, then it is worth noting the positive points expressed by your friend, say where she is right (tense up, look, even disagree). When a dispute becomes critical, and you cannot find anything positive in the position defended by your friend, you can always agree on neutrality, and instead of convincing the other, let everyone live with the choice that is closer to her, not violating the friendly psyche.

You are not twins to live the same life and think the same thoughts. Giving another person freedom and accepting its manifestations is a pledge of friendship, gives a sense of the priority of their own importance over the importance of an idea. In this case, you should admit that you are wrong, but not in relation to your position in life (if you are just not going to change it), but in imposing your world view or trying to belittle a friend’s opinion.

Listen to the opinion of a friend, not interrupting and not appreciating. The fact that you will seem a trifle, it can bring to tears - such revelations bring people together, and then you will be guided in how to behave. Judging everyone in itself is quite difficult, despite your apparent similarity, you can get into the old childhood trauma with a heel rather than a serious offense. If you feel guilty, you understand what is wrong in particular, and your friend also speaks about the mistakes made, you may really want to blame in the answer (and obviously you will find something for that), but hold back with it, if you do not want to quarrel forever, try to build everything statements from his own person (instead of “I am guilty myself” - “I am sorry that this happened”, and instead of “you would have done the same” - “I did not see other ways then”). And try not to lose sensitivity when speaking, otherwise you risk accepting too many accusations, even of what, in fact, are right and would not be going to give in under other circumstances - do not allow quarrels and offenses to become manipulative levers in your relationship.

How to make peace with a friend if she is guilty

If the quarrel was not too serious, and both of you are sufficiently quick-witted, then it is quite possible once again not to focus attention, and a couple of days of silence in communication will bring certain conclusions for each and erase negative emotions. After all, sometimes we all quarrel over a trifle, and here the main thing is to stop in clarifying the relationship, without warming up the passions. Advice to endure time will be relevant for any quarrel, no matter whose guilt there is more, and no matter how serious it is - for small misunderstandings, the pause will be an eraser, erasing all the negative, and for large ones it will calm the emotions so that there is a possibility of constructive dialogue, and not shouts to the whole street with the transition to insults (remember that women are very emotional, and if in a quarrel with a man, he will be the stabilizer of emotional tension, then you need to meet a girlfriend only in a calm state, because one kuratnoe word reconciliation can turn into a tornado).

Being the culprit of a quarrel, on the one hand, the situation looks harder (after all, you are guilty, gnawing guilt feelings), and on the other hand, it is easier (you have certainty in actions, reduced to two givens: if relations end, then sigh with relief, if friendship is, then go apologize). But the situation, when a friend is to blame for a quarrel, can put in an absolute deadlock, because according to all the laws of the genre, she should take the first steps and put up, but on the other hand she can create an inflated sheep, only for the sake of stereotypes valuable friendship is extremely careless.

It is best to take a pause - this will give you time to understand yourself and analyze the relationship, it may turn out that you were friends out of habit or with the absence of this person, positive changes began to occur in your life. Moreover, during this time, something may change in the perception of a girlfriend (especially if you just silently left the radar without explaining), she will appreciate the situation. Will notice own misses and will come to you to be reconciled. Maybe all this time she puzzles herself over how best to approach you, considering that she has done something unforgivable. Then you can indirectly help her, push, if you use social networks and post some joint photo, a phrase about friendship or some other information that makes it clear that you appreciate and miss, but expect an apology.

If expectations and hints do not help, then it is worthwhile to act directly, making an appointment and raising this question - not the fact that she noticed the disorder and understands why you are angry, and your quarrel occurs only in your reality or that you misinterpreted actions or the words. In such a debriefing, it is worth discussing the differences that have arisen in your attitude or perception of one situation, not blaming, but just wondering if she does not consider her friend wrong. Such non-judgmental clarifications of relationships help not to be carried away in a hurricane of emotions, but to soberly assess a person — after all, it’s one thing if she doesn’t apologize, because she doesn’t see the situation at all, and another if she considers that attitude to you is normal. Only by clarifying such things can one conclude about further reconciliation or stopping communication.

What to write to a friend to make up

After a quarrel, it is not always possible to discuss what happened immediately (and it is not often necessary to do it on emotions), and then it may turn out that a friend does not want to communicate with you or you yourself do not feel strong enough to meet in person. There are many reasons for it - from the fact that passions have not yet subsided, and because of the pissed off nerves and you can break loose at any moment, to the point that you are just ashamed and scared to look into her eyes, and you want to play it safe a little. In such cases, written reconciliation in various genres comes to the rescue.

Having realized the cause of the tiff, you can write a rather lengthy letter, where you can present your own view on the problem, feelings and suggestions for resolution. Do not forget to write about why you want to keep this relationship (think of trips to the sea, walks in the park, laughter at all the cafes and other fun of yours). Offer specific things to get out of this situation, but do not insist, and at the end of the letter invite your friend to a personal meeting in a cozy cafe where you can personally discuss everything.

If the reason was not so serious, then you can gradually come closer, sending her congratulations on a funny holiday, which happens a lot every day - not the fact that it will reconcile you at once, but will bring a touch of positive in the tension of the relationship. You can send your general photo with any signature from the section "Stop sulking, you are my best friend, come to the park, I have a ball." Give her likes and have fun, and try not to throw links to popular jokes, but create your own cute pictures or videos about you.

Remember that you can write not only in the electronic version - you can easily sign a cardboard postcard with apologies (you can also glue the candy to it). And choose the text depending on the severity of your quarrel - if you are late again by forty minutes, then humor and self-irony are fine, but if your romantic relationship collapsed because of your antics, sprinkle ashes on your head, offer help and support, and do not even think about joking, because she is now hard and without relationships and without a friend.