Despair is an emotion of varying time span and strength, reflecting the asthenic spectrum of feelings. Despair is a state of awareness of one's own helplessness in meeting a need. From the strong shift of psycho-emotional state during despair to the negative side (up to clinical cases), it is natural to note its occurrence as a result of a strong shock or other influence that changed the usual life (death of loved ones, the collapse of supervaluable ideas, etc.).

Such partially controlled or completely out-of-control negative events confront a person with impotence, make him feel unable to change both the situation that has arisen and any life turn. Minor frustrations are capable of boosting development and motivation, but the destruction of significant connections or events pushes into a sense of hopelessness of the future, hopelessness, and a person plunges into an existential crisis caused by the senselessness of existence.

Despair knocks a person from past landmarks, and if at an early stage a person is able to critically perceive a situation, his condition, notice the outgoing energy and enthusiasm, is looking for how to get rid of despair, then after a while the strength and multidimensionality of this experience deprive a person of strength.

What is despair

Despair is a state of lack of hope and the ability to see prospects, a severe emotional state, accompanied by a decline in physical strength. If you understand the origin of the word itself, it reflects a long wait, accompanied by anxiety, which has great hopes in itself. In ancient times, such an expectation was on the hunt, when a person was in constant tension of strength and attention, sitting in ambush, and the beast did not appear - the life of the tribe could depend on the outcome of the event, so it was not possible to leave, and for a longer time ambush, the more power he spent, and the less resource in it remained to leave the waiting area.

Despair is derived from the aspiration, which is synonymous with hope, and this aspect has been preserved in this word, but has acquired its own distinctive moments for the modern world, where there is no need to sit in ambush. However, the word reflects human hopes for a positive outcome of any situation (this may not threaten death to the whole family, but is subconsciously perceived at about the same level of anxiety, triggering the same biochemical mechanisms as that of distant ancestors).

Despair can be equated to hope only for a very rough comparison, since this concept contains a huge number of aspects, a part of which (namely, hope for well-being) a person is able to realize and regulate, and a part is located deeply in the subconscious sphere, where the archaic process of the psyche is set and like survival instincts.

Despair includes fear (conscious or not), and the sense of horror can be dictated by real events and possibilities, and can be found solely in the realm of fantasy and unconscious reactions of the psyche. So, in despair at the death of a husband, the main violin can play the fear of own death, not being aware of a woman, because she lived a dependent life and does not know what to do with the surrounding reality, when in fact her husband was both a protection and a breadwinner for her ( , which means that the world is threatening).

Despair may contain shame, most often growing out of the inability to take care of others (as men may fall into despair because of the inability to provide their family with an adequate level of existence, because at the archaic level this is perceived as exposing them to the death role of the leader).

Thus, the moment of the beginning of despair is the collapse of hopes, but then rather ancient mechanisms are connected, immersing a person in experiences, not having a direct connection with the situation, but aggravating her experience to the limit, otherwise it would be a simple disappointment.

It is almost impossible to get rid of despair on your own, since secret, but large-scale processes are hidden not only from those around you, but also from the consciousness of the experiencer. Therefore. If you yourself feel a sense of hopelessness and meaninglessness, accompanied by any oppressive, then ask for help and do not listen to the facilitating advice of your superficial acquaintances. It will not pass by itself, if you have already met with the loss of something important (and this is the main theme of despair), you will have to live this experience, review your own life and make appropriate adjustments to it so that it is filled with meaning and a sense of what is happening. To believe the words that a person experienced a similar event and after a couple of days already felt normal, can be dangerous, because your value systems are different. And while you are waiting for pain and timelessness to let you go, despair day by day will drain your strength and convince you of the immutability of the world and your asthenic self-perception in it.

If everything is all right with you, but you notice a strange long-drawn melancholy, excessive suffering, then your task is to send the person to a psychotherapist, and if he refuses to try to help himself. Remember that feelings of grief and sadness are natural, but exceeding in duration or strength indicates precisely the despair that is an overload for the psyche and nervous system. Such an excessive mental burden without a corresponding adjustment can lead to the development of neuropsychiatric and somatic diseases, as well as push a person to suicide, as the only available way out of the state of terrible pain and nonsense. Remember that the ability to notice other ways out of a situation in a person in despair differs from the normal state, since vital areas were affected, or personality-determining constructs are possibly frustrated.

The causes of despair are two ways in a person's perception of life: excessive focusing and giving special importance to any one value or goal (then, when it is lost, the whole world ceases to be important) and in the absence of a sense of the meaning of being as such, of connectedness of one’s own existence with higher matter and harmonious connection of various spheres of one’s own life (such confusions can, with their emotional instability, lead a person into despair). Therefore, maintaining the interest and significance of various spheres of one’s life, as well as the deep existential meaning in one’s existence, regardless of what is happening, is the prevention of despair.

Coping with despair

Absolutely to prevent despair in one’s own life is not possible for anyone, but one can edit the factors that influence the probability of falling into despair from any situation. First of all, the example of the parental family, which the person saw and unconsciously absorbed behavior patterns, contributes to this state. Thus, if at the slightest failure you saw how the parent fell into despair, and did not look for ways to resolve the current situation or restructure your own life, then the chances of repeating this scenario in your performance increase. Not because of the reluctance to look for other options, but because of the lack of an example of how to look around. Perhaps the parent of one gender with you was prone to instant loss of hope and was preparing for the end of the world, while the other for him decided a lot and showed ways out. Then, when identifying with the first, panic will be a familiar stereotype, also beneficial, because you can not take responsibility for yourself, but wait for salvation. In this situation, there is a hidden resource - this is the behavior of the other parents and his coping strategies, which, like the gentle despair, are part of your inner experience that needs to be awakened and actualized. By the way, this is also true for those who had similar behavior in the family was the norm for the majority - to find, an example elsewhere, among friends and heroes.

The next peculiarity of the psyche, which can lead to despondency, is the tendency to constantly scroll through events, a kind of stuck not so much for the sake of extracting experience, as for the repetitive living of emotions. This may relate to positive moments, and then the person’s strength and confidence increase, but this particular feature, when looping on negative moments, can plunge into an abyss of hopelessness and develop deep depression. Usually, another vivid impression leads away from the repeated replay of the situation, but it is not rational to fully rely on the will of external factors, since with a rather long stay in despair, a person loses the ability to notice external changes in the situation, concentrating on internal suffering, or these changes become insignificant. Finding your own effective technique for shifting attention and shifting your thoughts will help reduce the urgency of experiencing negative emotions, and also look at the world with a sober look while repeating positive ones.

In a situation of a negative event, the important point is to feel your inner supports in order to maintain the state at the proper level. With reduced self-esteem, insecurity, the habit of self-flagellation, a person only digs deeper into the pit of depressive disorder and feelings of a dead end. Thus, not only the world becomes imperfect and terrible because of the destruction of an important part or aspirations, but also the lack of faith in yourself quickly kills the remaining drops of hope for improvement. So, it’s better to start normalization of self-esteem and filling of internal resources, and not when the crisis has torn your life, it’s better to start when the life situation is still stable - for prevention and development of sustainability.

Strengthening meaningful links helps, i.e. communication with those people who are able to really understand and accept you, where there is no need to keep your face. To speak openly about one’s condition and problems with a sense of security is a fairly therapeutic practice, as a result of which the affect is reduced, it becomes possible to get feedback on one’s own emotions or events, from which, if a new way of existence is not born, then a resource of support will appear that reduces despair. If there are no such people in the environment, then you can go to a psychologist for individual or group therapy. There is no possibility of therapy - write a diary, describing all your thoughts, feelings and events - periodically re-read what has been written, it will allow to follow the dynamics, push on a new vision, as a last resort, simply help to throw out emotions.

But in the classroom you should look for something new and exciting, avoid looking at the empty wall and scrolling through what happened. Recall that you were fascinated in childhood and try to realize your inclinations now - it is in children's desires and memories there is a lot of energy and potential, besides they are deprived of external attachment and expectations of others, therefore the chance that you will do what your soul longed for is increasing.

Take care of your own body, because the depressed state changes the chemical processes in the brain, stops the work of the nervous system and, accordingly, the rest - focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle, reduce the use of psychoactive substances, and increase the dose of B vitamins (they nourish the nervous system) watch your biorhythms, let your body exercise, even if you do not want to move (during the sport hormones of joy and pleasure are produced that help reduce epressivnogo background).

How not to fall into despair from lack of money

Lack of money quickly plunges a person into a state of despair, even if he is not an avid materialist and understands that happiness does not buy. The laws of the modern world are such that it is the availability of money that guarantees the survival and quality of life. This is not only the ability to afford recreation at an appropriate level, but also the ability to really survive, as well as maintain the health of your body and mind (medicines are not laid out on the street for free, medical appointments and diagnostics cost money). In addition, adults usually have a few dear people, the provision of which is an important issue (children and elderly parents who are not able to support themselves). Lack of money is not just unfulfilled hopes of receiving a certain amount, it is a very real fear of death, not only of their own, but also of their close ones, family, and the most precious people. Especially acute despair is felt when some crisis moment is added to the lack of money, which affects important spiritual spheres, but could be resolved if there is finance.

You can talk a lot about how to survive such a paralyzing condition, but you should start to act immediately, until it becomes chronic. Most people do not begin to realize their potential and use all these abilities until a critical situation occurs, although this is considered a crime against the universe not only in religious concepts. If you spend the whole day getting minimum salary, while ideas of chic projects are constantly born in your head or you are a talented master, but call it a hobby, then this critical situation of lack of money can speak about the need for change. The point is not that low monetary remuneration indicates that work is not in the sphere of their abilities or interests.

Lack of money is an excellent filter for truth. This applies to your friends, some of which will disappear along with the money and your hobbies, because you will not give up what brings you real inner pleasure, but rather look for ways to get used to (cinema or horse riding). Being engaged in such self-knowledge, you can reformat your own life, leaving in it only the meaningful and necessary, both in terms of occupation and connections. You have more time to dispose of to leave the empty pit, but only taking into account the information received. There is no point fighting the lack of money in the old ways, staying the same - revise the importance of various goals and activities that take your time and change the structure.

The lack of the necessary comfortable amount of money makes saving and coaching character. Learning to save in such a way as not to go into hysterics or despair is worth learning - this is a discipline, when you record income and expenses, it is the conscious acquisition of goods and the awareness of your own needs. Life begins to play with other colors, if you do not just walk past a display case with a red bag, clenched lips and looking away, but allow yourself to go in, touch, try on and dip into your own feelings. Most purchases do not satisfy immediate needs, but the desire to conform to some kind of image, so with the same bag you can understand that you don’t need a bag, but you want the attention of men and this particular need you tried to drown out. Getting to know yourself and knowing through needs - lack of penance can be cooler and more exciting than any psychotherapy and training, if you approach this with awareness.

Develop creativity - not everything that you need is acquired for money. You can win something, change something with someone, you can get what you need in exchange for a service or pick it up from those who distribute the unnecessary. The number of discounts and promotions is unbelievable - to learn to use the opportunities and offer your services is a terrific skill, useful in any sphere of life.

So, if you take the lack of money not as a tragedy, but as a challenge or a game, you can get a good idea and get a lot of pleasure.