Selflessness is the ability of an individual to perform actions that bring benefits (material or psychological) to others, without waiting for mutual gratitude, compensation or other benefits from what is being done. Selflessness as a quality of personality puts the personality itself among the most recent points of the priority scale, being anti-striving, anti-possession, anti-measure. In selflessness, there is no expectation of benefits and the calculation of resources expended (neither the money spent nor the sleepless nights are important).
The manifestation of selflessness is compared to the manifestation of inner freedom in the maximum variant, where actions are performed not for the sake of mercantile prudence and not for the sake of a great good idea, but simply committed in the present (without authority, looking to the future and prerequisites, but guided by the desire to improve the lives of others).
Selflessness as a quality of personality reflects the highest value motives, not obeying external or social principles, since any concept requires a certain outcome and divides the world according to the worthiness of actions, and in disinterested manifestations there is no scale for assessing the consequences for oneself. There is only an estimate of how, at a given second, you can improve the peace, well-being or mood of another, even if gratitude comes from the outside or personal losses follow for the good brought.
Selflessness, being an intrapersonal quality, has its outward manifestation and realization in an effective sphere, where manifesting good towards others, there is no expectation of personal bonuses and benefits in return. Selflessness is not only alien to the desire for tangible benefits, but also the desire for self-promotion or building a certain image through actions. The actions performed should be evaluated as if no one ever knows about them, and the performer will remain behind the curtain of a secret forever, i.e. all that a person can get from disinterested motives is to enjoy watching the happiness brought, and that is not always, because often the joy of accomplishment is hidden.
Often, people cheat themselves, considering their own actions disinterested, but if you analyze the motivation and the situation more deeply, you may find that actions were taken to gain confidence, to receive praise or to earn support in the future (to be good and useful now take advantage of the good attitude in the future).
Love and friendship unselfishness imply as an integral part of building such a relationship. It may look like rash acts, but aimed at the benefit of another. To sell the car to pay for the operation to a friend, to put in the place of the boss insulting the girl are examples of serious and noticeable reactions, but there are more vital and prosaic, filled with disinterestedness, when a person leaves reading a favorite book and goes to help open a can when in a hurry home and cooks a delicious dinner for the second tired (if you don’t think about your own benefits and comparing how to spend your time behind these actions, then these are examples of how friendship gives birth to selflessness).
Why, then, so much talk about selflessness and seek to develop it, if there is no practical benefit, only expenses? It would seem that evolutionarily this kind of behavior should have been fixed as negative and gradually exterminated from human behavior, but the whole difficulty lies in the fact that selflessness affects higher spheres of human existence than the physiological instincts act at the level of which is physiological. Being at the level of high spiritual development, unselfishness does not affect the material spheres (it is unlikely unselfishness is possible in times of complex hierarchy and fighting for a piece of meat), settling at the spirit level. At this spiritual level, the happiness experienced from the complete disinterested act overshadows any physical pleasures in its sensations, since it represents a better and more subtle filling of the whole human being.
Immersed once in this feeling, the idea of spiritual life changes, values are revalued, priorities are re-set, and the person himself is surprised at how useless and stupid things used to take leading positions in his perception of the world. Changes the disinterested behavior and attitude of the world to him. As long as we are guided by the laws of profit and personal gain, we tend to demand and press, manipulate and intimidate, and few of those around them like this treatment.
A selfless person lives for the sake of others, without causing violence and not knocking out what he wants from people, his ability to give everything gives rise in the surrounding reality to response impulses, and people gladly help those who do not take care of themselves fulfill the desires of those who do something for This, but at the same time helps the dreams of others come true.
People around us read the motivation of our actions and try to keep away from those who seek benefit, and to those who live for others, they are drawn more. It may seem that, being disinterested, a person risks to be surrounded by mercenary people seeking to profit on this quality, but the mechanisms of the universe and human communication are arranged in such a way that good returns more. In an effort to thank for their sincere help, people build strong relationships and offer the best options to those who helped without imposing debt. Ease and freedom are very much appreciated in relationships, many even try to pull the hardest problems alone, if only they don’t have to be obliged to help someone to resolve, and it is at this juncture that genuine sincere relationships are born that do not require a return, but rejoice in it.
Selflessly is how?
Selflessness is a way of being in a world where one’s own life belongs not so much to a person as to being and space. This is a philosophy of abandoning one’s own needs with sensitivity to the needs of the environment, while there is no hard division and application of volitional efforts — everything happens independently and organically, since one’s own personality and the world around them are perceived holistically and equally valuable.
For selflessness there is no comparison, it would be better to eat dinner or help a friend in the garage, and if a friend calls, you just need to go out. Following the requests of the world becomes an exciting adventure in the understanding that we are all united with this world, and a friend’s motorcycle running is equal to eating dinner (at least for energy, but spiritual or material is a matter of processing). This level of disinterested behavior is usually achieved by going through a long spiritual path or a deep crisis, but some are simply born with a similar outlook, where serving others without waiting for reward is perceived as the highest freedom to manifest the power of one’s own spirit.
It is possible to disinterestedly act on many levels: from unwillingness to act to the detriment of others, to conscious action in the direction of improving the life of another. To commit an act disinterestedly is to commit it on the verge of self-denial, forgetting the benefits, but feeling at the same time the joy of the freedom of the individual. The constant need for material goods imposes many restrictions, as well as the psychological traumas that cause people to act under the same scenarios in order to get what is not received, and the disinterested act gives an intoxicating feeling of freedom to go beyond these restrictions.
Selflessness is love, without hope of reciprocity, friendship with those who are weaker and unable to help, doing good to those who continue to respond with evil or simply does not return. Selflessness is politeness in response to rudeness, it is helping people in difficult situations (acquaintances and passersby), it is a refusal from praises and gifts for their actions.
And if there is interest and a desire to develop this quality in yourself, then it is enough to look at people every day, wondering what can be done to make this person happy. Try small things, perhaps not immediately doing right happy, but to begin by helping to smile now or relieve suffering. It may turn out that not much is needed - someone needs to be embraced, and someone needs to give up his jacket, but it is important to follow not the logical view of the expert conducting the inventory of someone else’s life (this is how you risk giving people your projections), but try to feel what is missing man really. The secret is that if you guessed right, then the person’s eyes will light up with happiness.