Psychology and Psychiatry

What to do if the guy left

What if a guy quits? First of all, you should abandon the obsessive idea to return it by any means, because such an event will not end with success, but your nerves will get tired. If a person stops the relationship himself, doing it culturally and calmly, it means that his decision was made consciously and will not change, if he acts ugly, leaving you without explanation or with scandals, then it is better to think about why you want to return such person.

If the guy left the girl, what only those who were dear to this relationship think about, all the others sigh with relief and rejoice at the new opportunities that have appeared. Left without a loved one gets depressed, they note a decrease in self-esteem, activation of various complexes (and even the emergence of new ones, if the guy finally gave a caustic comment) and often try to correct the situation, giving in to impulsive decisions, which leads to a weighting situation.

What if you quit the guy you love

If planning a renewal of relations, then after a break, which should be devoted to yourself and your life, it is possible to revise values, then there is a chance to meet again, but at a new changed level, since there will be no return to the old one anyway. The opposite desire is revenge, and such antics may occur unconsciously, due to the habit that you are together. In this case, it is better to temporarily limit the flow of information about the guy (set the ribbon settings in social networks, ask friends not to tell how he is doing, otherwise there is a risk of scandal because of outright photos from the other). Give your psyche time to adapt, including not only experiencing stress, but also getting used to a new status for each other.

The next option is to attempt to anaesthetize the heartache with alcohol, which does not bring results, but only postpones and weights the feelings. If you do not live through the pain, but go to have fun at the club, then the next morning it will become even more depressing, and if you continue this way for a long time, it may turn out that the cause of the depressed state has already gone from the conscious sphere and now you will be ill constantly. From a similar state, when unlived feelings are hidden deep inside, you can then exit only with the help of a specialist, so it’s better to cry as much as you cry than to strive for artificial fun.

If you threw the guy you love, it’s better not to offer him to remain friends. Only if you are really ready for friendship, and not trying to save it in your own life with the hope of returning - if your ex-boyfriend really begins to honestly communicate with you as a friend, consider whether you will make such relationships yourself. Also, do not rush to look for a replacement for him, give yourself time to relax, realize the experience gained, analyze former relationships, so as not to repeat mistakes in the following.

To hinder his new relations, to adjust casual meetings and to constantly talk with his girlfriends only about him - actions that destroy not only your reputation, but also inner peace, but there are more interesting and useful options for what to do if your beloved boy left.

If the guy left the girl, what to do, each chooses depending on the state and the necessary needs, which can only be determined after the normalization of the emotional background. Calm down only with the help of antidepressants and valerian can be long and ineffective, because someone will be angry and destroy the entire apartment, and someone curled up on the couch under a plush blanket in the summer heat and for these states need different drugs. But our body has its own rapid rehabilitation program - physical exertion, removing emotional blocks (you can run a few kilometers through the stadium or go to the gym, arrange general cleaning or go to boxing training). Motor activity helps to process the accumulated adrenaline of anger, to activate the production of happiness hormones.

Remember that bothering a guy who decides not to communicate with you, run after him, call for a frank conversation and try to return cannot be, instead you need to start to engage in self-development, whatever desires now hovering in your head (though continue the relationship with him even erase it from this planet). Usually, when a girl continues to live her life, actively developing it and not imposing on a guy, it makes him think and look at her more often (everyone expects to regret their disappearance, and the absence of such a reaction creates interest). Most likely, he will appear first himself and here the most important thing is not even to get involved in the dialogue, it is better to refer to the fact that now it is inconvenient to talk and promise to call back herself when free time appears. You do not need to call back, never, this phrase is said to prevent its activity in your direction, but not attention. Continue to build your new life, dealing with emotional wounds and mistakes, and return to communication with your ex-boyfriend when the pulse rate does not increase, whatever the guy does.

It helps to survive the separation reduction of the tragedy of the situation. Since the attitude to it is completely dependent on us, you can choose to scroll through only beautiful moments in your head, draw plots of an unfulfilled perfect future and put the life without it to a refrain, or you can look at the real situation, remember what you lacked and the fact that this person no longer appreciated you as dear and worthy for his own life, is found for which he can be thanked. Two different views that can change not the current situation, but your emotional state.

What to do if your beloved boy left to help yourself live the pain, but not to wind yourself up? Choose a special time, when you immerse yourself in the sense of despair as much as possible, you can help yourself to cry with appropriate movies and music (this is the first few times the hysterics of his disappearance will appear from scratch, and then you will need methods for invoking tears and sad experiences). This can be done until there is a feeling of satiation of suffering, or until, at a regular melodrama, instead of tears, laughter and perception of the situation appear to be absurd.

But do not delay with this method, it should be limited to a certain time (for example, Thursday evening), the rest of the time, listen to cheerful music, live an active life, be sure to go out to the people. It is useful to remember what you wanted to do before this relationship or for which thanks to them there was not enough time, and finally, to accomplish. If he was jealous of you to the bikers, now is the time to get the rights to the motorcycle, and if you did not have time to attend the courses, then it’s time to sign up until a new novel has happened and you are not left without certification again.

Do not be surprised if the former lover appears on your horizon, and think several times before you communicate, because his actions can be guided both by the awareness of a mistake and by the desire to be convinced of your irresistibility through your sufferings.

What to do if the guy threw - the advice of a psychologist

When the crisis in relations reached its apogee and you parted, all actions to reanimate the interaction and attempts to establish contact are meaningless - their time was much earlier than goodbye, and now you can notice that you have overlooked. Instead of trying to return a departed partner, it is worth finding the reasons for the gap (even if not for this relationship, but for experience to come in handy in the future). Perhaps you have ceased to give him due attention or have ceased to look after yourself (this includes the appearance and the developmental activities that many girls leave after entering into a relationship).

If you succeed, then ask the guy about the reasons for leaving, but do not particularly hope for an expanded or honest answer, because for this you have to do serious self-analysis, which not many are capable of. But tracking the dynamics of relationships, you can find out that you were not guilty, but just the guy is the cause of separation. Because of his impracticable demands or eternal unreasonable quibbles - in any case, this separation is a positive thing, eliminating not your people, and teaches to see these in advance, preserving from the error to connect their lives with the wrong person. It also happens that both partners value relationships, but in their development, as well as in personal development, rapprochement and alienation crises are inevitable, some of which are unaware. The ability to distinguish relationship crises can successfully overcome or carry out activities hindering the difficult development. If you cannot analyze yourself, then you can do it together with a psychotherapist in order to extract a lot of experience from this situation and take advantage of difficult experiences as a way of learning and development, rather than dive into depression.

You can concentrate not only on the analysis of the situation that has happened, but also on self-knowledge, clarification of desires, peculiarities of reactions. Such relational crises are a stepping stone to a deep knowledge of oneself, on the premise that relationships with the surrounding space and people (especially close ones) are a reflection of relationships with oneself, bring to light all the injuries and complexes received in childhood, teach more honest treatment first of all with yourself and your desires. After immersing oneself in one’s psyche and learning its features, it comes time to do favorite things, making a list of what one always wanted to do (from quick desires like eaten cake, to lengthy ones, including a change of residence). It is better to compile such a list consciously, turning off external criticism and inscribing even absurd, ridiculous and reprehensible desires from society, but it is better to exclude those imposed by someone (well, why do you need a degree that is your mother’s dream if you want to make pancakes?). Try the case from this list, and boldly throw out not bringing benefit or pleasure. Try to build a new life so that the level of happiness depends not on having a relationship with a man and what is happening there, but on independent factors available to you at any moment.

What if a guy wants to quit

If you are a little distant, resentment is increasingly in communication and it seems that everything has become cool, then perhaps it’s a crisis, a decline in interest, a habit, when there is no need to constantly romance, and perhaps it all signals that the guy is thinking about parting To distinguish one from the other, you will have to spend a little time and a lot of attention, but then you will understand where to go next - calm down and rejoice at the onset of the quiet phase of the relationship or begin to sound the alarm.

The first sign that a guy is going to end a relationship is the amount of time he spends or is seeking to spend with you. If your spending time is rapidly declining, it often refers to employment or fatigue, and you have already forgotten about going to society, this is in any case a negative signal. Before blaming your loved one for not wanting to see you, it’s still worth monitoring the situation, and all of a sudden there’s really a blockage at work, then asking for your part will only aggravate the situation, because he needs support and help, and not hassle in his spare time.

If it turns out that your boyfriend’s leisure does not suffer, just now he prefers to spend it not with you, then the relationship is coming to an end. Lack of attention to the details of your appearance and a decline in attention to your own appearance testifies more likely to general apathy, and in case of loss of interest only to you, speaks of his active search for another companion.

Reluctance to participate in long-term plans indicates your precarious position in the life of a man. Depending on the seriousness and long-term nature of your relationship, you should evaluate what is considered future plans - for those who have been together for several years it may be buying an apartment, and for those who have a relationship that amounts to weeks, there may well be a joint celebration of the new year.

After analyzing the reasons for the guy's behavior, you can either help him with the difficulties that have arisen if the problems are not related to you, or correct his behavior, which is a possible reason for his desire to leave. Look, if he does not want to go with you to public places, it may be your style or ability to behave, and if you stop taking the initiative in bed, he may want to feel welcome and waiting for the slightest first step on your part. If the guy is constantly dissatisfied and, clinging to every little thing, wants to completely redo you, it may make sense to leave first, until you have finally crushed your self-esteem.