Psychology and Psychiatry

What to do if the girl left

What to do if a girl quit? Recognition of the situation gives you the opportunity to analyze what happened, find out why this event happened, help you get and assign the experience, so as not to repeat the mistake in the following relationships, or give you ideas on how to start all over again from your old favorite.

The question of what to do when your beloved girl quit is the most relevant one, since not your loved ones do not quit, they either leave them alone or perceive what happened with relief. And if, when a significant person is lost, girls usually sob on the shoulder of a friend and absorb sweets, then men go to a bar where the amount of alcohol is proportional to the degree of mental loss. To call such behavior a suitable way out, you need to try another ten or so others and understand that they have no prospects.

It is necessary to recognize the fact of what happened, and not to pretend that you care about changes in your personal life. What has happened has changed its course: you will spend your evenings differently, visiting the same places will look different; if you lived together, then every centimeter of housing will indicate changes (from a shelf in the bathroom to your diet). The longer you resist and try not to notice what is happening, the stronger your nervous system begins to signal that the owner has problems with the adequacy of perception. Bravado, that without a girl it only became better for you, it can only give a ride if this is true, and if you think every day how to live further or how to get her back, then such behavior will only drive you into a dead end.

What to do if you quit the girl you love

Relationships do not collapse at one moment, usually various calls precede the parting, signaling problems and hidden conflicts, and only if they are hard to ignore, you can then find yourself alone, wondering what to do when the girlfriend left. Analyze your relationships before breaking (and henceforth periodically analyze existing relationships) according to the following indicators: is there love on both sides, is there enough in the relationship, what are the personal life goals of each and how do they match, what are the goals and expectations from the relationship.

It happens that the answers are not satisfied at all points, but the girl is quite interesting and beautiful, plus the fear of loneliness sits somewhere and then the guy himself does not end this relationship, trying to convince himself every time that after a while or some effort Everything will be alright. It is necessary to reject excessive sentimentality and one's own habit for this person (precisely a habit, if there is no love and a lot of things do not suit) and thank the girl for stopping meaningless relationships and being able to meet the right one. The deeper the situation is analyzed, the more clearly you can see that everything that happens is far from the concept of love, which means it’s time to let go with a light heart.

If you understand that you really love a girl, and the separation happened by some mistake, then find out, first of all, the girl herself has a reason for your separation. It is better to do it a couple of days after a serious conversation, just have time to lie down emotions, something will become clear in her perception (and perhaps she will have time to regret her decision), but at the same time the topic will remain relevant. Knowing such reasons may not give you exactly this girl back, but it will definitely be useful to know in which direction to make positive changes in your personality. Do not swear to her that change and will comply with the wishes, no one believes in this. But to take note and really change should, then after a while she will be able to appreciate your efforts and only you can decide whether to resume the relationship after the like. By the way, a girl will not necessarily agree to answer a similar question, and even more serious about the problem, from the desire to quickly stop communicating or from understanding the huge difference in your perceptions (if you think that a man should be strict and not give a woman the descent at the same time, you can behave as you please, and your girlfriend for sharing responsibilities and duties, implying the same freedom for individuals).

At the very beginning, when the girl left, what was yet to be done was not clear, but you need to fill your life as much as possible, in which now there are temporary periods that were previously allotted to relationships. It is not necessary to leave everything as it is, because it is during these free hours that despondency and nostalgia will roll, the memories will begin to revolve in the head, and self-accusations and other negative things for the self-esteem and perception of the world will start to multiply at a terrible speed.

Take your time to work (above the norm will bring you a raise or additional income), your hobbies (it's time to fix the bike, go on a winter fishing trip or start playing billiards again), entertainment events (cinema and concerts, exhibitions and conferences, parties and thematic meetings - now you can visit the places where you have long wanted). Use the released time not for sadness, but with benefit for yourself, at least from the material point of view, at least from the development of your personality. Engage in sports, which in addition to improving physical condition, normalizes the emotional background, which will help to cope with the crisis. During exercise, you can listen to audio books or new artists, using the maximum time.

Plan your time so that you can develop the qualities your ex-girlfriend lacked, then maybe you can meet again, but you shouldn’t try to get her back right away, respect her decision, wish for happiness, even if it is now separate from you.

Quit girl what to do, how to forget

When a girl left, what to do in order to forget it becomes an urgent issue when relationships are not subject to resuscitation or the guy himself realizes that it is not worth returning back, but the force of attraction remained somewhere even at the physical level. To help your own psyche to withdraw from such a state can be using the resources of the body, which include the mechanisms of hormonal regulation and synthesis of substances that cause a feeling of love. It is worth starting with inclusion in your daily list of physical training or increasing their number, if they were present earlier. The system operates in a simple way - during sports, the body produces substances similar to those that are produced during love (that is, you get the usual dose), and also produces hormones of joy, which helps to prevent depression.

Complete and release the feelings associated with the girl, for which you do not have to contact her personally (dialogue can help the release, and possibly provoke an increase in emotional affect), especially since it is not always possible. There are techniques for releasing emotions through writing, metaphorical actions that can be done independently, or you can use the help of a psychologist who will tell you some more techniques of liberation from accumulated feelings. The importance of liberation is the main point in forgetting, because, the more unsaid and not splashed out, the more energy is spent on scrolling mental conversations. For parting, this is normal, because the one who is left is usually at a loss and does not have time to fully respond, while the other side does not particularly go into the explanations.

Once freed from old emotions and experiences, it's time to fill life with new ones. Maintain high social activity, like with trusted friends, and remain open to new acquaintances, even if you don’t want any relationships now. Embark on a journey or start exploring a new area of ​​interest. Anything that will give you new emotions and knowledge that will make you look at the world a little differently.

What not to do when the girl left

There are a number of mistakes that still make when a girl leaves, but it is worth taking control of the first impulses based on an emotional outburst and not correlated with adequate behavior, because they can harm (ruining your reputation, causing the girl to get scared and call the police and send you to the ban and change the address).

Catch up with the outgoing, return, providing signs of increased attention, not worth it. If, being in a relationship, you did not invite her to a cafe and did not give flowers, then the bouquets, after her refusal to be with you, can be perceived as an attempt to buy it. If you realized only after parting, that it was the woman of your life that you do not need to appear on her doorstep with the ring. Most likely, she waited for this gesture for quite a long time and in other circumstances, but now everything inside has burned out and does not want, or wants, but not so, or many more options, none of which will force her to return. Remember that all signs of attention should be paid in relationships, and they need to be strengthened when the first chill appears, and not when you parted and divided aquarium fish.

No less negative actions include open prosecution and surveillance. It seems to you that you want to talk to her, so it is quite normal to come in person when she does not pick up the phone. In the perception of the girl (and the legislation, by the way, too) this is considered a violation of personal boundaries and security. You can get angry, contempt or fear in your address, depending on the temperament of the girl. Hidden surveillance of her movement or in social networks, provoked by your jealousy or care, is likely to become obvious, and then the girl will take measures to deprive you of any opportunity to learn something about her. Think about whether you need this at once, if you want to continue to communicate in a friendly manner.

As for yourself, you should not look for salvation or pleasure in alcohol, it usually enhances the existing emotions, under the influence of which you can begin to perform extremely undesirable actions (call her in the middle of the night and beg to return, threaten her current guy or break into her apartment) .

If you leave, you think about returning, then you should not tell your friends about the breakup, you can designate what is happening as a crisis or temporary difficulties. Not to be confused with attempts to keep all emotions in oneself and not to use moral support - this is what is worth doing and which will help avoid many rash acts. But to designate your status as free people, and couples, as parting, can lead to many questions from outside, to unnecessary advice and conclusions, and it will also be more difficult to converge after this. If there is a warming in the relationship, it can easily be extinguished by an inaccurate question. And do not forget that there are guys waiting for your failure to start caring for your girlfriend, then keeping the information about the parting in secret, you will slow down their activity in the courtship.

There is no question of representing a girl in a negative light, even though you are going to continue the relationship, although not. She will never forgive such a response, which means that a revival is impossible (she will not feel guilty, as was supposed). In addition, this spoils the reputation, on the grounds that both are to blame for the problems, and the guy who talks about his ex only bad and blames her for everything will not win the sympathy of the girls, so do not doom to loneliness, even if she was a monster.

What to do if you quit the girl and went to another

If a girl leaves first from a relationship, this in itself is a blow to the emotional sphere of a man, and if she goes to another, then both self-esteem and ego and perception of the world fall under the blow. Naturally, from such an upheaval in men's behavior, emotions begin to dominate, rather than logic, and these emotions are often destructive in their power. Someone may start to get drunk, someone to show verbal or even physical aggression to the new guy of the girl, and others in general, blaming the girl for everything, start to take revenge on her. Such methods are not an option, and it is better to find the reason why the girl traded you for another. The most pleasant of all possible is that the girl did not initially have any feelings and just waited time with you until a more suitable candidate met. But, unfortunately (or fortunately) it is this reason that is far from the first positions of the list of reasons forcing girls to leave a relationship. And the root cause is dissatisfaction with the current relationship (little attention or care, a lot of rudeness and manipulation) that the attitude of the guy has changed.

The crisis of relations and similar changes can be seen in advance, and if you didn’t notice, didn’t hear, or didn’t do anything, then constant comparisons will not be in your favor, and if there is someone who always helps, then the girl’s departure to him is not a low act. So reduce the degree of emotional response and begin to deal with your own reactions and behavior in this relationship, and not blame everyone around.

As with any parting, the list of actions that should not be performed, and in the situation of having another man, remains relevant, the consequences of committing rash actions would be more serious than if the girl were alone. But striving for personal development is a great strategy, the goal of which is to be better not only in comparison with the current guy, but also with himself. Obviously, before leaving, there was information about what did not suit the girl and what her new young man was so good about - this is about the vector of your development.

If, in spite of what happened, there is a desire to return it and forgive forces, not by returning the past, but by conquest as a new passion. Try to re-recognize your ex, and you will really notice how she has changed, do not bother with her body, even remembering every centimeter and every reaction, because you would not bother with a new acquaintance. Such tactics will allow the girl to see sincere interest and feel the lack of attention and care. Stay positive and remember that the ex-girlfriend will follow you for a while and what information you will provide to the world, and your further interactions will develop.