Psychology and Psychiatry

How to believe in yourself

How to believe in yourself? The urgency of the problem of how to believe in yourself and your strength appears when a person has already encountered a number of failures or whether he will have to accomplish a business that has extraordinary personal significance for him. And if an objective vision of their failures should push to the analysis of actions, the reorientation of actions or advanced training, then in the case of the immense importance of the upcoming, you will have to work exclusively with internal installations. First of all, a person needs to figure out why a particular case has received super-significance in his system. It is unlikely that the question of how to force yourself to believe in yourself before an important interview does not get in front of someone who sees this as a conversation, but if you add the desire to become worthy in the eyes of your partner, to justify parental expectations, the absence of other perspectives, the importance of the interview soars .

Understanding the reasons for high significance can help to separate the task itself from the expectations imposed on it from above and give the opportunity for the recognition of your family to earn otherwise. It is worth examining the question and looking at examples of successful accomplishment desired by other people who have the same starting positions or other basic conditions - here you can learn a lot and see in reality that there is nothing transcendental in purpose, just as nothing critical happened to people achievement.

The scale of the task, which by its weight simply presses a person, can generate a disbelief in one's own (living in a detachable odnushka, making plans for one’s own built castle can seriously shake conceit and faith). Break big tasks and long-playing plans into small ones (not so destructive for the ego), to develop a specific algorithm of action - this seriously calms and inspires confidence, adds strength. When you look at a list of several tasks, you see the prescribed moves in the event of a turn, the whole event ceases to seem impracticable. It is this very practical approach that often turns out to be much more effective than various affirmations and other suggestion techniques, because it reinforces your strengths with actions, you see real changes of what is happening, although the same mechanisms for changing perceptions are involved, just in one case you inspire yourself what a cool you are as a friend, you optimize the problem and reduce the scale of its impact.

How to believe in yourself when your hands fall

Belief in yourself can slip away from time to time due to various factors: criticism of others, another failed attempt to realize what was intended, a series of bad luck or an overestimated significance of what is happening. But there are situations when the hands are lowered and everything that climbs into the head is concerned solely with how to quit everything, and not how to believe in yourself and your strength, because objectively there are no forces left. Depressive and apathetic states, crisis moments suck out all reserves from the energy reservoir, leaving no opportunity to move on. Often the problem is not solved for so long that there is no strength to continue, but there is also no resource left for the care. All this concerns the issues of rethinking and searching for motivation. It is the presence of meaning in one’s life and motive for each action that gives a person new opportunities, energizes and includes imagination for other ways of achievement.

You will have to reassess your values ​​to find out if your hard work really remains your true goal. All goals set periodically need to be reviewed and adjusted in order not to stray from the course. Well, what is the use of investing in a relationship where you are changed because of the purpose of further marriage? Sense to continue to make the methodology of the project, which for a year does not start, but continues to require you to develop? Why go to visit those who have long ceased to be your friend? It is easier to choose a goal once, but only when it no longer corresponds to your changed internal installations, the energy for its achievement will not be supplied. Your subconscious will begin to choose erroneous strategies, to launch various somatic diseases and in other ways not to let it be realized by what has already ceased to be your true desire.

Try to consider your life globally and as widely as possible, seeing all the relationships that exist at the moment, imagine the future. Such an analysis serves as an aid in understanding how far the goal to which you are so eager and trying to raise your motivation from scratch will please you by being realized. Look for the scale meaning of your life, not the short-term stages of satisfaction, after reaching which emptiness and hopelessness covers. When you focus on such a lifestyle, over time, psychological protection turns on, which does not allow to achieve the chosen one, because after achievement they do not expect joy, emptiness and meaninglessness await, and while you are endlessly pounding in attempts to achieve, life seems to be filled with meaning. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between meanings, values ​​and goals: the first makes the energy live and feel, the second sets the choice of ways of implementation, and the third shows the direction.

When you revise your life, it does not give a quick result, so it would be good at this stage to enjoy the support of loved ones. In principle, this is an excellent strategy when you do not cope, and sometimes it is delegation of a part of responsibilities that allows you to breathe new life into a frozen event.

Eliminate all negatives from your field of vision; stop communicating with people who do not believe in you and your success, at least for a while. Risk and loudly declare your desires, because implementation is possible somewhere very close. If you are looking for a job - tell everyone, you can even strangers, but pleasant people, if you are confused when looking for the right product, then start looking in places and countries where you have not appeared before or who for some reason were afraid to trust. Such risky experiments often give a positive result, because if you didn’t find something, didn’t get it, didn’t finish it with those and where you are now, you may need to change the external decorations.

How to believe in yourself and gain confidence

How a person can believe in himself and gain confidence are questions that are close but not synonymous. Belief in yourself is made up of the attitude towards a possible future, a positive assessment of the possibilities for the realization of the conceived, confidence adds to this list the overall realization, since these are not theoretical concepts, but the immediate practice of life (if you are full of plans and developments, but do not embody them reality, the amount of faith will only decrease).

To understand how to make yourself believe in yourself, you need to shift the focus to your own personality, its unique development and identity, avoiding a comparison that burns confidence fairly quickly, even though it goes in a positive direction (and then arrogance is born), even though negative (and then self-deprecation and complexes arise). Naturally, it is impossible to completely isolate oneself from the world and people, but it is quite possible to reformat the comparison habit, one has only to look at people not with envy, but with interest. Remember those characters or people of the inner circle with whom you compare yourself and logically highlight those characteristics that you like, analyze what this person is doing to make things look like this - consider him as a teacher, you can even ask for advice or share your experience in achieving . It is better to compare yourself with yourself, your past achievements, skills or desired future achievements, i.e. not "I'm running slower than this guy," but "I'm running slower than yesterday." This approach helps to notice the causes and correct what is happening.

Formulate your qualities as honestly as possible - accepting your various parties gives you confidence in managing your life, because owning such information, you will remove doubts about whether you can or not, and you can definitely answer for the result or not get down to business, identify unknown areas where can not predict the result. The recognition of their shortcomings allows them to be used and in any professional community, those who clearly understand the limits of their competence are more appreciated than those who grab for everything and present themselves as all-powerful. It is important not to indulge in self-criticism, simple recognition and acceptance is enough; all shortcomings should be treated with patience. Instead of criticism, praise yourself better, even for small achievements or progress towards success, for example, for refusing a harmful lunch in favor of a balanced one.

Set only a few goals at a time - it is their implementation that will fill you with the feeling that you will cope with the subsequent ones. A huge number of plans that are written in the diary, stress the nervous system. The more often and more symbolic ticks you have made, the stronger your belief in your abilities will become, which is facilitated by setting a small number of goals at a time.

Reconsider the beliefs that limit you, perhaps immediately labeling something like "impossible" or "not mine." Question all thoughts, assertions and opinions encountered along the way — your own assessments of goal achievement, a verdict for other people about your abilities, expert judgment, and statistics on the subject. These are the factors that give a logical, but not always correct analysis, because the situation can unfold in an absolutely unimaginable way, and where it took years for the majority, you may be lucky to slip through in a month.

How to help a person to believe in himself

Helping a person may not always be in the nature of solving his problems or directly participating in this. There is a huge range of situations where intervention in the life of a person by his active actions only creates the appearance of help, but in reality is harmful. So, out of sympathy, you can make lessons for the child, making it easier for him, but in the end he will not develop, you can take care of your loved ones, while depriving them of their independence, the husband can take full care of the family, depriving the wife of choice - you can endlessly list. If you see that a person refuses to realize something because of thoughts that it is difficult or unworthy, then you do not need to bring it ready, but rather help, becoming confident, to achieve everything yourself. At that moment, when you do everything for him, you, as it were, confirm his disbelief in his own strength, and then doubts take on a stable form.

To help a person to believe in himself, pity and appreciation, attempts at moralizing, must be left in the background. Focus on support, which can manifest itself in completely different ways - you can make it clear that you are always there and agree to any proposal, show the importance of the opinions of others, asking for advice, to show interest in the ideas expressed. Such methods are not aggressive, but they create the background of one’s own need and importance, of sharing the same values, which further pushes for a broader view of the plan. But support does not always look like a passive contemplation and agreement, and if you feel the presence of energy from your friend, then it is quite possible to act actively and with pressure, pulling to new places, familiarizing you with useful people, providing thrills. For many, such a shake-up is useful because of its indicator that the world around is alive and interesting, and if you start interacting with it, it will gladly respond. In addition, if a person has any illogical beliefs about what is happening, then you minimize their influence by taking on the organization of the first step, which is the most terrible (remember, familiarity and interview scare more than a date and work).

When you communicate with a person who has lost faith in himself, avoid comparisons, even with the aim of supporting and showing how much better he is, because by doing so you start the comparison mechanism itself, which is contraindicated in this state. Try to talk about his qualities from yourself ("I like your dress," "today we had fun," "you painted a beautiful picture"). Your praises should not look like flattery or acquire hypertrophied forms, the very sensitive psyche of a person who has lost faith will quickly react to falsehood, so say really what you think, while criticism can and even should be given, the main thing is to choose the right form that helps a person use even your flaws.

How to believe in yourself and succeed

Success rests on the belief in the chosen case, the direction of the people around you and yourself, and this long path starts from the last point. How a person believes in himself before a new business or if so far there is no real fact of achievement in life is not so difficult a question, since this quality is acquired in the process of activity, and not in the accumulation of accomplishments. Even if much has been achieved, a person may still not feel confident because he didn’t do anything for a long time, and vice versa, very active people achieve staggering success.

In order for forces and faith to appear, a goal is necessary, a destination for which the whole movement is being started. Without defining a goal, it is impossible to assess our abilities, because without knowledge of the upcoming actions, we cannot assess our abilities, readiness and ensure that we can cope. The goal is not to choose from the common and fashion trends, but from their dreams. Where you go should bring you overwhelming pleasure, let it be a dream come from meditation, and then its realization in itself will give you pleasure. But putting in such goals a project that is important to your superiors or a diamond ring that has become popular with your girlfriends is not the best option - when your eyes are off, actions and motivation go away instantly. In order for everything planned to happen as smoothly as possible at the formulation stage, it is worth making the entire achievement algorithm transparent and understandable, and the more detailed it is, the higher your level of calm. You do not need to know all the points of your planned project, but knowing the places where you need advice or the help of other people reduces the amount of anxiety and, again, determines your activity.

A beautiful and graceful plan will help minimize the effect of anxiety on your condition, but only its presence does not bring us success and does not give confidence - it is necessary to act. Acting in accordance with the chosen concept, without violating your internal attitudes, because if you take actions contrary to your inner meaning of life, you will be assured that your actions are wrong and wrong. It is important to monitor compliance with the external internal, and continue to move, let it be better not a sudden, instantaneous jerk, but a constant movement.

When you are actively moving towards success, it is worthwhile to take care of the support of motivation, by fixing the successes obtained: put a tick in front of the points made, keep a diary of positive achievements, photograph your successes. This is very important, because over time, most of the efforts will gradually erase from memory, you may get the feeling that you are not moving towards the result, then a review of achievements, an estimate of the percentage of the way you have traveled, not only will not allow you to turn back, but will reinforce confidence.

Remove people who do not believe in the success of your event. Even small, but methodical remarks, depreciations and suggestions to change the task over time can kill your own belief in success and make you stop just before the finish. Subject to criticism of their statements, if you see that dialogue is possible, then in dialogue, you will get an expanded picture and notice some details that have eluded you earlier than you can minimize losses. Remember that you communicate in order to use his ability to see difficulties and to work out in advance options for overcoming them.

When criticizing voices are not outside, but inside, then these are internalized assessments from childhood (careless comments by educators, parents and passers-by), which are firmly entrenched in perception and their influence hinder the development of a new quality. You can track these manifestations, remember who they belonged to in your life and compare with reality, making sure that now it is not so, and you can use the professional help of a psychologist in working out such problems, which will speed up the process.