Psychology and Psychiatry

Why a man does not want a relationship

Why a man does not want a relationship? This question is usually asked by those followers of Eve who seek to establish serious and long-lasting relationships from the very first date, and even if this period is extended, the generic genetic program makes us look for the most stable and reliable representatives for living together. To find out the future development of the novel at first, women are still trying to understand everything on circumstantial grounds, asking veiled questions, but if from her point of view some kind of relationship has developed, and the man does not lead according to her idea, then question and the same direct answer about the unwillingness of the relationship.

After this, some of the women will turn around and leave to look for someone who stays off her instantly and drags them to the wedding, and some will remain to think about what these words mean. What reasons led the man to answer like that, and many other variations - themes that gather girlfriends for evening gatherings in the kitchen for a long time. It is worth remembering that any pleasant acquaintance with a woman is not perceived by a man as an obligatory continuation of communication, much is done for the pleasure or maintenance of form. When a man offers to have a good time, he means only this, therefore he will be extremely surprised by the fact that you have already informed your mother about your relationship. At the same time, it’s not worth thinking about it, because you were immediately told what was going to happen and how.

Even if you start to start a relationship, the man initially sees them as a pleasant time together, and when the woman turns on the hyper-seriousness program to create the future, such assertiveness is frightening and the statement that the relationship is not needed now, the man can just try to win back that piece of freedom and personal boundaries that he had. By logic and biology - he must force things and strive for a lady, when everything changes in places, a man may experience terrible discomfort.

But there is a third option, due to a person’s lack of a period or state when he is ready for a relationship, there is only a desire for a relationship with a specific person, so if you hear about the unwillingness to relationship, then you should not heal the psychological trauma of your intended partner. Perhaps it makes sense to move away because he has no desire to create a relationship with you.

Why men do not want a serious relationship - psychology

In a situation when something happens between you, you may even periodically live in the same territory, but nothing comes next, you need to understand not why a man does not want a relationship with a woman, but why he avoids their serious turn. Usually this is reasonably invented and replicated way of family life and examples of friends who constantly complain. It is impossible to give rise to serious desires with a girl who is not serious about him (disrespectful behavior or the desire to like all polls for all men, without giving priority to her). In second place in popularity is female coldness, manifested in the absence of a manifestation of love for a man (only consent to sex and no initiative), a measured manifestation of feelings (giving affection to only deeds favored by a woman), a negative attitude towards motherhood. With such a set of emotional prerequisites, there is no prospect of building relationships, because he sees in advance that there will be less heat and support there, and family life will become the second front of work.

Noticing in his companion iron character or the desire to completely subjugate men to the will, there is a desire to isolate themselves and find someone softer. In addition, many women are so directly seeking to marry, ignoring male needs and psychology, that a man becomes an object of interior.

But there are more mundane reasons for rejecting serious decisions - these are material and everyday ones. If a man is responsible, then before starting a family, a man will try to achieve a stable and high level of income. It is a shame that there is no place to bring the bride to block all desires to be together, and not every person can psychologically allow himself to live in the same area with his parents. So in the first place in the implementation of a man puts the purchase of an apartment and promotion in his career, earning capital and developing himself as a specialist. If a woman who is nearby is capable of wisdom to appreciate that all these efforts are made to ensure their future, then she will wait for the cherished wedding invitation. Those who will be offended and complain about the lack of attention and quick steps to change are unlikely to understand all the true concerns of a man about providing for his family. But if your man has already received an education, took place as a specialist, has a permanent job and housing, but tells you that you need finance to move to a better area or you develop a relationship, after it is raised - you should raise the question openly and seriously, because otherwise delays can last for decades.

Why a man does not want a relationship and does not let go

Being between ripping opposing impulses is hard emotionally, and this type of relationship indicates a significant discord, perhaps they have already ended, just for internal reasons, there is no full stop. From a female position, when a man does not let go (holding tendency) and says that he doesn’t want a relationship (separating tendency) requires clarification, since such a situation does not allow a woman to continue to live fully. Try to immediately exclude the option of the presence of several women and their own participation in the casting or the role of a reserve if someone refuses. Many female attempts to understand the psychology and childhood traumas of the men ultimately rested on a simple polygamous explanation.

A frequent psychological reason is the inability of a man to make decisions or the habit of shifting responsibility. Having such personal characteristics, a man is not able to determine his desires and advantageous directions of movement. If you swing a little to any of the parties - he will support any decision you make, then the choice is yours: stay and the rest of your life make all the important decisions on your own, or look at the men who understand what they want from their own lives and women nearby.

Perhaps the man just took a wait and take the relationship to official status when you are corrected. If, when talking about the future, he says that you are not quite satisfied, listen carefully to the list of his shortcomings - it is he who expects to correct them. Indeed, by correcting your own personality or appearance, you deserve a place near him. Remember that the transformation of the personality of an adult is a task from the realm of fantasy, if you do not expose him to extreme situations and drastic changes in the situation. With the titanic efforts we are even given the eradication of one habit, so it may be worthwhile to wait for someone who will accept you without artificial leveling. But it happens that a man does not know what does not suit, fearing to be mistaken. This is a lack of understanding of female psychology or the inability to understand whether it is a woman or not, many try to distinguish truth from intrigue (for example, many read that women manipulate tears, and every time they tense up when a woman cries). An honest open conversation can help here, where the man will have space to clarify the incomprehensibility, the woman only needs to answer in as much detail as possible.

Men are afraid of loneliness, and if you previously had a relationship, but now they have faded away, and the man does not disappear, then this is fear, not the remnants of old feelings that can be reanimated. And if in the previous versions it was possible to choose between remaining or leaving, then in the case when the man’s behavior is guided by the neurotic fear of loneliness, and between you everything is already extinguished, there is only one option - to leave. And to leave as quickly and softly as possible, not allowing such a model of relations to take hold and safeguarding himself from the hysterics of the one who had been abandoned (switch his attention in advance to the one who is not sorry). The unstable attitude to the woman of the man affects, when its positive aspects can attract, and the negative with the same force to push away, and he himself will not understand, that outweighs. A woman can correct this by talking, finding out that she can easily correct some negative features or, on the contrary, never change that.

Why a man does not want a relationship after a divorce

Divorce is one of the most stressful factors, along with the death of a loved one, and the idea that only women are seriously worried about this tragedy, and men are easily mistaken. It is men who are harder and longer after the divorce period, because they are used to holding back emotions and keeping their image strong in spirit, when women can afford to cry, walk a few working days, ask for support and help from everyone around them. Such features of overcoming the crisis lead to protracted depressions, and not processed injuries remain in the soul and leave their imprint on the further construction of life. After such upheavals, the man is afraid of serious commitments for some time or just wants to take a break from them, so perhaps he is sympathetic to the woman and has completely withdrawn emotionally in order to establish contacts, but little time has passed to establish a new serious and deep connection. This is the option when not enough time has passed and the man is not ready yet, but there is also the opposite option, when after a divorce a long period of loneliness and freedom has passed. Most likely, such people will no longer return to a paired relationship, having become accustomed to living with ease and independence, without coercion, responsibility and the need to dock their peculiarities with another person.

But there are cases of complete undermining of trust, for example, when a man in a relationship was used exclusively from the material side and there was treason along with humiliation. After this, it is difficult to separate one from the other and it is easier to choose a strategy of distrust than to try to determine whether a new companion can be trusted. An image of the former living in the soul of a man who prevents her from leaving the same moment when her things left the house can prevent to build a new relationship. Comparisons with girls in the present moment will always be not in their favor (well, his new acquaintance does not know that he does not drink coffee, but only tea and lemon) - in order to withstand this you need to have a very stable psyche. If you really need this man, then please be patient, a session with a psychoanalyst and a regular increase in self-esteem with your friends, then you can show him that he is important, you are stable, and in something is certainly better than his ex.

Why a man does not want a relationship with a woman with a child

Cases where a man starts a relationship, and even serious, with a woman whose child is rare enough, usually prefer to avoid such situations, especially if the man himself has no children. The first reason for this is that building relationships does not begin according to the usual scenario, and instead of raising a man to the first place and giving him maximum attention, the woman has a child in priorities. This includes jealousy, misunderstanding and simple egoism with the desire to receive the necessary dose of attention and care.

Even if the relationship began, they are being built simultaneously not only with the woman, but with her child, whose love is not possible as his own, besides there is a constant fear that the child will not love or accept a man, but will accordingly affect the choice mothers. To get involved in this is to transfer double the amount of responsibility, and not everyone can say whether they want to continue with a serious even with an absolutely free woman. In addition, the emergence of a common child with joy, in this version will bring another crisis, and the heat of the situation.

If the father of the child is unknown, died, left them before birth, then in a sense it brightens the future, but if this is an ex-husband visiting his offspring, then the need to put up with the presence of many men plunges into an inadequate state. The child constantly delays the attention of the mother to himself, while at the same time it is necessary to make friends with him, and even somehow compete with his ex-husband, observing the fact that the father is always more important than the newly appeared uncle. In this way, dancing between all the lights, a man remains a man and his instincts to drive others away from his territory continue to work, so self-control may not always work. Situations can be of varying degrees of severity, but what men see immediately is more difficulty and responsibility, the need for wisdom. Although if true love is present, the relationship develops harmoniously and children become an excellent component, and not a burden.

Why a man does not want a relationship with a married woman

Relationships with a busy woman are comfortable and should liberate a man, because she does not require anything, does not insist on marriage, does not climb into the soul, but many men are against it.

First, men are used to being the first and leaders, they need the conquest of women, confirmation of possessive instincts, and in a situation where a woman originally belongs to another, and he is only a backup option, meetings with which are completely in women's hands greatly destroys the pride of many men.

Secondly, if the man chooses to keep the tactics of calm, while giving the necessary attention to the woman, he will win the husband in a secret fight, and the woman can leave the family for the one she loved (such a man is unlikely to get divorced). Then, in addition to the laurel winner, the possible children from the past marriage, life, financial responsibility and doubts about the loyalty of his woman are attached to the man’s neck (he knows for sure that she is capable of starting a parallel relationship).

If a man is determined to have a family and children, then the option of a married woman is not originally for him. In addition, the conspiracy and the ability to expose warm feelings only for the first time, then it starts to bother, and there is a desire to go where you want and introduce your woman to friends. And the consequences of disclosing a connection for a man can be extremely diverse, but definitely not pleasant (depending on the capabilities, motivation and temperament of the recognizing husband), for example, in the form of broken limbs, deprivation of a favorite position, as well as public censure. In addition, the lover can be afraid of himself, because, even starting a novel, not having a particularly warm feeling for married in the beginning, everything can turn into love and then the realization that this is not his woman, and he does not dare to make any claims to her spouse , can glow the inner state of a man.