Despair is a feeling that has complex mechanisms of formation, referring to the negative layer of experiences, the basis of which is the subjective perception of the picture of the world, as hopeless, since there is no objective undecidability. It is born when confronted with insurmountable obstacles or the impossibility of correcting what happened, i.e. closely bordered by hopelessness, despair, a sense of own powerlessness.
A sense of hopelessness arises when faith and hope for a different outcome of a situation disappears, actions are meaningless and a person realizes the impossibility of changes in the desired direction. The inability to see the ways to implement exactly the desired one creates a feeling of hopelessness, since the irreversibility of desired and pleasant consequences, which will also be impossible to prevent, will cause a feeling of joy and mild euphoria. There is also a version that hopelessness arises in order to protect the nervous system from overload, and the person from wrong actions, being a protective mechanism from the wrong path. Those. It is easier for the body to cut off the supply of energy to the fact that the subconscious mind has already evaluated, as not promising, than to try to reverse the uselessness.
What is hopelessness
The state of extreme despair rarely comes on its own, usually a person takes an active part in it, driving himself to a dark corner, losing faith and dropping his hands. Not being biologically fixed at the level of reflexive behavior, like fear, satisfaction, safety, hopelessness is largely regulated by the person himself, his ability to notice the meanings and maintain his inner faith.
The sense of hopelessness is a critical moment in the perception of the world and oneself, affecting the change in value and semantic space. In such a state, everything becomes negatively colored and there is no way out anywhere, orienting points and desires, the meaning of daily activities, and possibly the whole life are lost. Lost illusions associated with the achievement of the desired can turn a person towards other goals, and can make you fall into a deadlock of impossibility and slow down your whole life. In such a dead end, there is no power to turn around to choose another direction and there is a terrible awareness of the impossibility of moving on.
The state of extreme despair leads people to alcoholism and drug addiction as ways to get away from the impossibility of reality, and pushes some to commit suicide. This is the highest measure of development and sensation of this feeling, gradually covering all areas of life, no matter where it began, like metastases in the final stages of cancer. That is why it is important to notice the first bells of the loss of faith and hope for a change in the situation, for the prospect of development and overcoming, because these are the inner pillars that help to overcome hopelessness.
There are many situations in life that contribute to the development of hopelessness. This is when your health has deteriorated, and after that the apartment has been robbed, when there is no favorite work and close relationships, when the project is not the first year old, it does not move from a dead center, or the child whose treatment you are doing does not recover. Many more examples exist in everyday life as well as in unique circumstances, but the worst moments of despair occur when several personally significant factors are combined. Primary personal importance, because even if people die around, but they are strangers, and not close ones, then it is unlikely that it will shake your previous world order with the same force as the death of a single dear person. But at the same time, not critical violations, but from all sides of life can lead to the same result, taking quantity. It feels like there will be two different despair - the first is about the loss of an important vital area, the second is the permanent meaninglessness of life.
The most difficult moments are when several factors are combined, and one of them is basic in the human semantic system. Seeing only the destruction of their own needs, a person loses faith in the best and loses strength to overcome difficulties, is able to notice only closed doors, without being able to look around. In many ways, this inability to look around in search of new meanings and paths is due to the large number of experienced frustrations and the learned lesson that the more you search, the more frustrating you will have to suffer. Without proper support, possibly psychotherapy, the hopelessness of such a level leads to thoughts about the end of life.
Being in a long chronic state of hopelessness, not only attunement and volitional manifestations of a person begin to collapse, this affects his personality as a whole, and also affects somatic development. The most frequent physiological reactions are reduced immunity, weakness, abnormal posture (stooping, slouching), breathing problems (pneumonia and bronchitis), neurological disorders (tremor of extremities and nervous tic), sleep disorders (insomnia, nightmares, intermittent sleep). The longer a person does not come out of a state of hopelessness, the more aggravated the disturbances are, and if at the initial stages it is possible to cope even with physical problems, having established a psychological component, then you have to seek help from bodily specialists.
How to overcome the sense of hopelessness
It will not be possible to overcome hopelessness by changing the external world, since its sources are inside, which means that we will have to work with ourselves and with our thoughts. It is necessary to decide, trying to disengage from experienced feelings and leaving only logic - is everything really so bad and dead-end, as you see now or most of the tragedy brought about by your imagination. If you cannot do everything on your own, ask friends to help, choose materialists from phlegmatic and sanguine people for this.
To turn on the voice of the analytical mind a little brighter, use the method of comparing other people's life situations. Most likely, if not among acquaintances, then among Internet histories and books, movie characters and historical chronicles, you will find examples of more serious problems that did not make a person give up. Of course, the comparison is not the best way, but it will help to see the good sides of your life, rejoice at what is available, estimate the scale of the dramatization introduced. This can be done by seeing only great suffering and insolubility. As if you are stumped by meaninglessness because of a ruined relationship, and a seven-year-old girl’s house is destroyed and the whole family perishes, an instant meaning, value and joy of your own life and what is in it can appear. In addition, considering the examples of others, you can find ways to solve your unsolvable problems, as it expands your viewing angle and allows you to choose.
After identifying the problem and realizing its true importance and destructive power, you should honestly admit to yourself how important it is for you to decide and change the situation without rushing. Part of the situation can be contrived and beneficial to its non-resolution, for example, the fact that you will feel sorry for your suffering or you will receive sidky in the form of minimal responsibility. Many people do not want to cope with many situations, because they subconsciously avoid the changes that the resolution of problems will bring. You can endlessly interview, failing them, and hiding behind it will be unwilling to go to work or fear of not cope.
Leaving only those problems that you really want to solve and, considering them from an adequate position of complexity, determine the need for help. If the situation does not budge because of pride and unwillingness to ask or consult, then change strategy. At the same time, try not to arrange further sabotage and go for effective help, and not to those with whom you will discuss the impossibility of resolution for a long time, plunging more and more into hopelessness. If you still prefer to cope on your own, then, most likely, the sharpest peak of hopeless self-perception has been passed, and you perceive yourself as a strong personality capable of overcoming difficulties. The moment that can delay you in the opposite state is that while you are inside the problem, you may not notice important aspects of the situation that other people would see.
You choose the path of independent travel or with someone - the main thing is movement. The hopelessness draws strength, and it seems that now you lie down for a bit and do something, but in fact you find yourself lying down for a month, while most of the strength has already been wasted. The more you become isolated and inactive, the more you lose. Therefore, begin to act, if not directly by resolving the situation, but by bringing any activity into your life. You can start with physical exertion, increasing energy levels and promoting the production of endorphins. Despair borders on depression, so your task is to maintain your emotional state at a normal level. Do things that bring you pleasure, so you will stay in motion and support the emotional background. Over time, even if you do not rest against the problem, the solution may unexpectedly find itself.
Try to dislodge the usual flow of your thoughts in the other direction. To do this, you can go to boarding schools for the disabled, orphanages and nursing homes, hospices are perfect. In all these places, you will be accepted as a volunteer, and the nervous system, of course, will not have to be sweet, but you will get a visual awareness of the importance and extent of your own problems, and you will also encounter direct examples of faith and fortitude. But not everyone can get such therapy. In order not to constantly twist the tragedy, it is necessary to focus your thoughts on the current moment, which is quite difficult. Add extreme pastime into your life, and when all your attention is focused on what is happening (and it will be only in the present, because otherwise you will fall from a cliff, crash into a wall or get lost in the lines), the oppressive feeling of hopelessness will recede.
It is important to understand the limits of your capabilities, and if the methods of controlling thoughts and restructuring behavior do not help, if the problem seems to be really serious rather than far-fetched, and the state of hopelessness becomes heavier every day (especially by getting suicidal), then you should seek help from specialists. Perhaps there was a malfunction in the metabolic processes of the brain, and endogenous depression started, then a course of medical treatment is necessary, and perhaps unlived old psychotrauma has been discovered and the psychotherapist can heal them.