Sentimentality is a special kind of sensual mood, when external events and impressions affect to a greater extent the feelings and emotions of a person, almost without affecting the mental sphere, the psyche's inclination to increased susceptibility and daydreaming. The feeling of sentimentality can be manifested by emotion, affection, delight or empathy in moments that do not cause similar reactions in most people around, and at their extreme manifestations can be expressed in heightened tearfulness or luscious enthusiasm, bordering on ignoring deficiencies.
The presence of such a world perception does not negate the fact that a person can be aggressive, angry, cynical and skeptical, since sentimentality has a selective meaning and does not concern all life events. A person may unnecessarily be touched by animals and empathize with them, while hating people, may be touched by the film, but remain indifferent to events in the store line. Most often, this feeling and sentimental character is amenable to criticism, both in society and literature, in the perception of society borders on weakness, recklessness and stupidity.
What does sentimentality mean
Being a property of the psyche, sentimentality is an innate quality, but its expression and directionality can be corrected, since the prerequisites are extremely heightened sensitivity. When such sensitivity is combined with logical reasoning and accepted responsibility, it takes on the image of sympathy and complicity, helps to better understand the needs and motives of people's behavior, but if it is deprived of mind control, then only the sensual uncontrolled sphere of sentimentality remains. In such a state, a person will empathize with others, but is also easy to manipulate, his experiences are usually deprived of effective activity in changing position.
In the perception of different people, sentimentality may acquire a completely different meaning - for some it is a sign of humanity, and for someone it is stupidity and unsuitability. Such a separation is caused by the fact that this quality of personality immerses a person in the full experience of any arisen feeling, for one hundred percent saturation, while not engaging the mental sphere at all. No matter how sentimentality seems to be akin to sympathy, they are radically different, since the main focus of sympathy is on another person, his needs and problems. In the case of sentimentality, all attention is directed at himself and his experiences, the person as if revels in his feelings, disregarding what caused them.
Striving for permanent living and enjoying living feelings, a sentimental person easily catches the mood of others and joins emotions, while he may not fully share the reasons for such a state, but this is not the main thing. Roughly speaking, hitting the funeral of a complete stranger, and being among those who cry, a sentimental person can also weep avidly with all those present. The difference is that for the rest of the sadness will remain for a few days, and for such a sensitive nature can be lost, when confronted around the corner with other experiences and stories.
Pity for sentimentality arises fast and sharp, so that a person can not hold back tears, but just as quickly comes a moment of relief.
Sentimentality is not an active motivating feeling; this is due both to its transience and the direction of the vector of attention to one's own experiences. In combination of such factors, a person can remain cruel in principle, even just crying over the fate of a stray dog (in ten minutes he would rather forget about her or even kick, but he wouldn’t go to the store to buy a sausage dog).
Sentimentality is destructive, both on the establishment of social contacts and on the health of the person himself. For people around them, such sensitivity can cause irritation, and the lack of actions - misunderstanding. The person himself usually tries to restrain excessive manifestations, and even more so tears, which leads to the appearance of psychosomatic diseases or exacerbation of chronic conditions.
Sentimentality in women
The feeling of sentimentality is more inherent in women and has a completely biological justification for this. Since the woman always stayed in the house and had to watch for the slightest changes, not only in the surrounding space, but also in the state of offspring, the developed sensitivity was fixed at the hormonal level. It was heightened compassion, the ability to vividly experience someone else’s pain as one’s own, which ensured the survival of the offspring for many years. Even now, this sensitivity helps to preserve health and relationships.
It is natural to consider cases when it is sentimentality that destroys relationships and success in a career stands alone, and here we will talk about increased sentimentality, which makes sense to reduce a little.
When evaluating your condition, remember that it is your success and inner self-perception that are markers of a normal level of sentimentality. Women are more sensitive and more often show their emotions, this is normal and moreover, a woman who tries to constantly keep everything in herself turns into a stone statue or acquires a huge number of diseases, the basis of which will be excessive tension.
Trying to listen to the reproaches of your man in increased tearfulness, remember that the hormonal structure affects not only our appearance, but also the behavioral and emotional manifestation. Trying to reduce their sensitivity (or its manifestations) to men, women go against nature. It makes sense to learn how to realize this quality in any way other than constant tears into a strong native shoulder. Perhaps it will be meetings with girlfriends, and perhaps when you feel that you have become hypersensitive, watching a melodrama alone will help to get out of these experiences.
Male sentimentality causes a lot of controversy, and they are conducted both in women's circles and in various combinations of representatives of different sexes. The opinion that a man should be an indestructible rock that does not move and cry, whatever happens, continues to exist. Manifestations of courage and logical assessment of the situation are the main masculine qualities, but gentleness, indecision and tearfulness are rightfully given more to women. Here not only public opinion worked on distribution, but nature itself.
Sensitivity and sentimentality are regulated by the hormonal background, which is why with age, when the male homo hormon decreases, men become more sensitive and softer, for some this may be due to the initial imbalance. But all the other excesses were brought up by the upbringing and the classic "boys don't cry." The truth is that men are not as insensitive as they try to appear. In addition, this performance is usually not needed by anyone. Most women want more sympathy and warmth from their chosen one, and out of two applicants will choose the one who, having moved, will take home the stray kitten, and not the one who will chase him away. A woman will not be close to a very courageous and strong, but heartless man, unable to sincerely experience the pain of other people. The only good thing is that this stereotype is conditionally imposed and efforts are being made to implement it.
It is necessary at the social and personal level to give permission to men to show their sentimentality, since most often we are talking about its lack of life. Another thing, if male sentimentality begins to exceed even female sensitivity. Such cases are quite rare, but there are, and then it is possible to say that a man is in an unstable state or is in a crisis period, it is possible that a serious psychotrauma was received. Keep an eye on your partner and if you notice a sharp increase in the level of sentimentality, be as careful and delicate as possible. But if nothing serious happened and before you initially such a man, then the likelihood of problems of development and upbringing is great - perhaps he was just used to using an exaggerated expression of feelings for manipulation. Women are really touched by men's tears and feelings, this can quickly bring together or make a woman take actions to save the fate of a man.
Before reacting to such things from your sensitively sentimental part, you should try to include a logical analysis of the situation and evaluate what is happening in full. Cases of manipulation and artificially increased sensitivity are really rare, and men try to hide their manifestations.
How to get rid of sentimentality
Fully eliminating sentimentality from your life, you turn into an insensitive and rather cruel person. Inability to empathize will obviously reduce your circle of contacts and reduce the number of people who treat you well. Reduce or get rid of excessive sentimentality has washed away when she begins to interfere with the construction of adequate relationships and spoils her state of health.
To better control these manifestations will have to get acquainted with their sensual sphere in detail. To do this, set aside a certain time period every day when you immerse yourself in your own world and become acquainted with the feelings that exist there. No need to try to embrace absolutely everything that happened to you during your life, focus on the present moment and track the feelings and thoughts that are appearing now. It is important not to go away in the direction of sensory or only mental experience, but try to perceive all this at the same time. Such training with a regular situation affecting the strings of the soul will help to notice not only the emotional outburst, but also the arguments of reason regarding the situation. In addition, the ability to navigate in their feelings will also help not to plunge into the sensations of others, because knowing their nuances it will be possible to understand when this is sincere pity for a person, and when this is a similar situation and their own unclaimed tears. In the first case, it is important to help another, in the second, you need to take care of yourself and make past events less traumatic, having lived them, possibly in the presence of a psychotherapist.
The important point is to learn how to distinguish between situations when it is appropriate to show hypersensitivity, and when not. If you are at work, then your tears are unlikely to be appropriate, as well as in the family with a joyful event. It is necessary to learn to notice these impulses, but not in order to restrain them to be stored in a dark box, saving up their own internal stress, but in order to communicate with them at a more suitable time. You can set aside a special time for this or just take advantage of the moments when you are alone in order to completely release what has accumulated inside. Then you can cry and laugh, scream and beat the pillows - the main thing is that the feelings should be poured out completely. The more often you hold such events, the easier it becomes to control periodic attacks, since the more restrained emotions, the higher the likelihood that they will break through with an unrecoverable avalanche at the most inopportune moment.
Being engaged in training in such a control, develop sensitivity to your emotional sphere, and if tears roll in from serious and real pain, then you should not endure it and restrain it. When a loved one dies, leaves a loved one, is dismissed from work or when your child has taken the first step, the results of the survey turned out to be good, an important project says to cry, shout for joy, fight hysterically, hug everyone who passes, is a normal and adequate response regardless of the situation and your location. It all depends on the relevance and actual importance of the situation, living people around you who will understand and support your feelings about something important, but are unlikely to be complicit in your more contrived experiences.