Communication with men, namely, effective interaction with representatives of the stronger half is based on other laws than communication between women or adults with a child. Here it is necessary to take into account the psychological characteristics, there is a dialogue with the former man or with those to whom there is sympathy now or just with a friend. We must speak directly about their own needs and wishes. The most correct formulation for the understanding of a man contains only bare facts, excluding hints, a double understanding and an abundance of emotional details.
Naturally remain relevant issues of tolerance, morality, sensitivity. That which seems rude to your girlfriend may seem the same rudeness to a man. His desire to appear strong and hide acute experiences does not negate the feelings of resentment, but you will not immediately realize that something has touched him. A woman, most likely, will make it clear with all her appearance that you have made her unpleasant or speak out openly. A man will hide his feelings, but to guess about it, you can, if he avoids communication, closes up emotionally, does not make the first contact.
No one likes to lie or pretend, so try to be yourself from the first day of communication with a man, and not try to depict another woman. You may think that the simulated image is more appealing and fascinating, but it is worth thinking about how much you can stay in it. Any representative of a strong half will overtake frustration when the masks are removed and this is no longer due to the fact that you don’t really fit him, but to the fact that any confidence in the person who cheated at the beginning completely disappears.
Even a woman like a masquerade is very harmful, because then it is not those men who are interested in her, but those who are able to appreciate her real pass by. Invented relationships are still collapsing, only at the moment of the disclosure of cards, attachment is established, and the gap is harder, and in fact could simply pass by.
Psychology of communication with men
Psychological features of communication with a man are based on the difference in the functioning of the nervous systems, which are subject to hormonal influence. Under the influence of oxytocin during difficult situations and experiences, a woman needs to talk a lot, share experiences in a verbal form, the man has no such reactions. Therefore, when a man avoids communication, this is just a male way to overcome stress. Only a new scandal can provoke a conversation, make sharing fears and doubts (as with girlfriends). It is optimal to give a man as much space and free time to think about the situation as he needs, after which he will return in a blessed state of mind.
Another psychological feature is the difference in the perception of reality. Thus, a woman is able to simultaneously monitor and participate in several processes - cooking dinner, helping children, advising a colleague by phone. A man focuses on only one process, that is, if he is nailing a ledge or driving a car, then it is useless to talk to him. He leaves you back, but after a while you find that he does not remember the information. A similar mechanism was formed for many years of evolution, and a man cannot change it, just as a woman cannot fully immerse herself in just one thing. The need to keep an eye on the home life, maintain the focus, notice the approach of the predator and respond to the crying of children developed a multitasking problem in a woman, and the need for prey and successful hunting developed a man of the utmost concentration on a single task. If you want to discuss something important or that the information you have said is taken into account, then choose a special time for conversation, when a man can concentrate as much as possible. It is better to discuss in advance a suitable time period in order to avoid false understanding (if a man looks into a dark laptop screen, this does not at all mean that he is free, perhaps the system is being reinstalled).
Features of speech and the construction of phrases also play a significant role during communication between men and women. Ladies may feel that her interlocutor is not emotional, is not involved in the situation or does not understand the full depth of her experiences just because most of the male phrases are specific and have few adjectives in their structure. At the same time, a large number of sensual and descriptive words can plunge a man into a stupor from an excess of information. If you want to be heard, speak in fact and reduce the emotionality of speech (expressive utterances, loud voice, bright gestures). Splash of emotions, for the sake of splash it is better to leave friends or warn a man in advance.
If a man is required to help, then after the indicated situation, it is necessary to summarize it and ask for specific actions or ask if he can do what is necessary (be sure to list everything). If you complain that the door does not open well, then at the end you should ask to solve this problem, lubricate the hinges, replace the lock or tell your opinion. When a woman leaves just a stated situation, the man perceives it as a description of the surrounding reality, but it is not always able to guess that they want active actions from him to transform this fact.
But there is also the opposite situation when a woman complains just to speak out and relieve emotional stress. Representatives of the strong half are guided by other principles, so any discontent of the beloved can be perceived as a call for help. When you do not need any advice, much less a change in the situation, but simply sympathy and support, then you need to inform the man in advance (before the monologue). Otherwise, the windshield may be broken by the tyrant commander, and with the last money you can buy earrings with sapphires (after all, you were missing them to tears just last night).
In the dialogue it is worth discussing only one topic - such rules of communication with men. Even if you have removed emotional outbursts and clearly articulated needs, then a couple of jumps on other topics can negate all efforts. A man is able to perform only one task, and discuss only one topic. Inefficiency may manifest itself in various ways: a man may be outraged and not understand the turning of a conversation, may consider the previous topic as irrelevant, once switched to another when you return to this topic.
Many people choose to cause shame and guilt feelings in a man as a manipulative strategy. It is really critically effective, since men are almost incapable of transferring these feelings, but if it becomes too often, then they simply leave those women who make them feel like this all the time.
Women's tricks of communication with men
Based on the knowledge of the psychological characteristics and subtle feeling of the states of another person, special ways of communication, called tricks, are built. Usually they serve to attract attention, fall in love, seduce, occupy a meaningful position for a man.
The same feature for both sexes is the desire to feel better, chosen, meaningful. If a woman manages to look at a man as the most intelligent and beautiful, then he will feel so, and begins to act accordingly. A big role here is played by the initial self-esteem of the man, and if it is understated, too loud admiration can cause a lot of doubts and mistrust. The one who feels his uniqueness and excellence for quite a long time and under any conditions remains finally fascinated. No, a man is hardly arrogant and goes winged to other places, because he clearly understands that he feels himself the king of this world only in the presence of a particular woman.
Men love to be strong at the level of action, and the more situations a woman creates, where he can show his positive qualities, the big hero he will feel. You do not need to start a dragon for this, you can ask to go home or help install the app on your smartphone. Fine, if a woman does not disappear without male help and can change the mixer and hang the shelf, but it is better to hide such own skills, at least in his presence.
It is not always appropriate to show direct strength and knowledge; it is better to leave this field of activity for male self-realization. Female power is manifested in other things that delight men - it is affection, kindness, tenderness, not only to him, but to the whole world. Feed the hungry dog, calm the crying child, help the pensioner deal with the ATM, bring treat to the whole team.
In dealing with a man, it is important to maintain a balance between defending one’s opinion and submission. On the one hand, it is foolish to completely obey a man, even if it is your husband, if you are not tied up by any relationship, then doubly. Defending one’s position, arguing the opinion, the ability to do it in defiance include the hunter’s instinct in men, which kindles passion and interest. On the other hand, the complete and widespread resistance, the presentation of their information, as the only important thing, can quickly kill a man’s interest. I want to leave this woman alone, since she herself knows everything perfectly well. It is pleasant to any man when he is listened to, it includes responsibility and care, when a woman gives up her principles and does what he said. This is not just a submission, it is a transfer of power, respectively, responsibility, and therefore a large moral and emotional investment. The more we are responsible for someone, the more we become attached. If this is not total submission and infantilism, otherwise the reaction may be the opposite.
The most important thing in communicating with a man is support and care, only not in the maternal performance, which more resembles edification and control, but in the female one. This is an active manifestation of interest in his opinion and deeds, but the ability to live his life. This is a concern that manifests itself in necessary situations, along with faith in his strength - no need to go across the city with bandages if he hurt his arm, but it makes sense to make hot tea if a man falls ill.
How to tell a man that does not like
Reproaches, as a way of conveying information about one’s own dissatisfaction with the behavior of another, are the most common, but the least effective way. This usually causes an irrational defensive position, where a woman can reasonably prove why she herself is to blame for what happened, or simply get away from intercourse. A separate difficulty is communicating with the former man and trying to explain his displeasure to him if he decided that you are just playing and testing his perseverance. It is precisely in the expression of negativity that the male desire for directness and honesty fails in the adequacy of perception.
Optimally, if a woman manages to convey information not in the form of accusations, but denoting her own negative emotions from what is happening. That is not a bad man, and a woman is bad in such a situation, and not so bad when she turns into evil fury, demolishing everything all the way, and so that she remains tender, loving and caring, but upset and saddened by a woman.
You will have to report your disorder several times, before there will be visible changes, as the man is always convinced that this is a systematic phenomenon, and not once under the influence of mood. It is important to talk about your dissatisfaction right away, because the fact that he did not meet you after an international conference at night at the airport in the winter will not be relevant in June, or it will be forgotten. As soon as an unpleasant situation occurs, it is necessary to immediately inform what and how it upsets you, and not a man, but a situation (for example, “when I am alone at night, I am afraid and upset that there is no one to protect me” instead of “you leave me alone at night”).
A man should always have a choice how to act, but you are obliged to inform him about your own feelings about what is happening, if you want at least some chance of change.
While communicating with a man, it’s worth talking about your feelings, and not catching him on not fulfilling promises and forcing ultimatums to execute (these are the methods of court sentences). It is unlikely that a mentally normal person will want to appear with someone who says “call me three times a day,” but the phrase “I feel unnecessary if you don’t call” can change something inside a person, while preserving his freedom. It is important that at this moment you yourself can do whatever you want with your negative feelings - you can tolerate it, but you can meet with your friends and get fellowship there, instead of knocking him out of the man.