Psychology and Psychiatry


Disappointment is a negatively tinged emotional state caused by the collapse of hopes or expectations after the manifestation of the real picture of the world. This feeling of vexation in connection with unfulfilled dreams or that did not meet expectations. The higher our expectations and hopes, the greater the disappointment. Disappointment is an experience of sadness, an experience that comes with an understanding of what could be in place of what is in reality. People try to do everything in their power, in order not to feel this feeling, in every way they try not to recognize true disappointment. This concept is one of the configurations of frustration, in which the subject ceases to fight for the sake of finding the desired.

What is frustration

Disappointment is an emotional state after a certain situation that will cause the realization of reality.

Disappointment in a person's life forces one to accept the truth, without gaining what he wanted. Many prefer anger to disappointment. This negative emotion allows you to continue to live in the illusion of a fictional world, not to feel the grave state of sadness, not to admit that the directly inflated expectations were not fulfilled.

Frustration for the subject is considered one of the most difficult emotional states. In this case, the individual experiences a combination of several emotions: sadness, anger, pain, resentment. Separately, it is much easier to cope with any of these emotions than with their totality. As a result, a person tries to avoid this psychological state a hundred times stronger than any other negative feelings. With disappointment comes the realization of the "end", the collapse of everything that was planned, the person does not receive the cherished, does not feel the desired.

Disappointment in simple words is an experience of sadness because of unfulfilled hopes or dreams, on which we independently impose. It is necessary to emphasize that such definitions as “disappointment” and “charm” contain the identical root “charms”. But after all, only in fairy tales there are magicians who cast a spell. In fact, it is the subject himself who hopes to get what does not exist, he himself creates the image of the expected (often overly overestimated), due to the inadequate perception of the real world. When the image collapses, disappointment comes.

Frustration victims are more often subjects who know exactly what they want. A person who had planned everything in advance, imagined the outcome of his own actions or actions of people around him, the feelings that should arise, emotions and experiences seemed to fascinate himself, closed his eyes with a veil of illusions. As soon as this all collapses, then no one's favorite, negative feeling will surely come, from which everybody escapes.

Delving into the consequences of the disappointment that has come, one should pay attention to its positive features. After giving up, a person takes off his rainbow glasses, clearly sees the world, what he really is, he ceases to be deceived. The experience of the ancestors says "to live, knowing the bitter truth is better than a sweet lie," and experience is not one century of life. But it is worth learning to perceive life in various tones, not only like “good - bad”.

A look at disappointment for each individual is subjective, everyone has the right to condemn only himself. Man is a creature prone to the ideal, he seeks to achieve it everywhere: in relationships, at work, in himself. Directly in a situation where expectations are too important, most often comes disappointment. As a rule, disappointment in people, especially in loved ones, is most painful.

Disappointment in your favorite key factor in the breakup of relationships. At the initial stage of a relationship, love enchants people. Everything seems: bright, colorful, carefree, here the problem begins to arise. This is the point of reference for the development of our fantasies, how everything will proceed in the future: people begin to endow each other "above" with qualities, determine how a person should behave, how should say, what feelings should show, imagine an ideal life. It creates a certain standard of a loved one, this prevents us from perceiving this kind of environment, adequately, what is happening is real. A man in love is not able to notice any shortcomings, flaws in behavior, negative character traits, in addition, he himself tries to show only his best sides, exposing only attractive character traits. Unconsciously partners mislead each other, as if mutually induce "charms". As soon as the period comes when people begin to live together, a period of relaxation begins (to live forever in suspense in order to show all the best, it is very difficult and destructive for himself) and the person reveals his true appearance. This is the border beyond which disappointment in his beloved lies.

How to survive the disappointment in people

As soon as human behavior goes beyond the established standard, the lie that we created for ourselves, in which we ourselves believed, is destroyed. Experiencing frustration affects the deterioration of the psychological state of the subject. It is believed that it is the negative behavior of close people that becomes the starting point for the formation of frustration, but much can be forgiven. The originating factor will be the need to change the opinion of this person, the destruction of hopes about him.

Disappointment is a factor causing a storm of various negative emotions, the long-term manifestation of which leads to a disruption of the subject’s usual rhythm of life. In consequence, there is emotional instability, loss of self-confidence. Factors causing emotional instability, contributing to the development of frustration can be:

- spinelessness of the subject in the period of solving important life problems. A weak-willed person who is afraid of facing his own fear is able to substitute, in any non-standard situation, cause irreparable damage;

- expecting more from the subject than he is able to share with us. The assignment of responsibility for relationships to a person, considering him the ideal of our whole life;

- betrayal - the most common factor causing frustration. As a result, a depressive state, accompanied by serious personal changes in the subject;

- uncertainty about your own charm. The vital position of the subject to consider themselves unworthy, not able to attract the attention of a partner of the opposite sex. In consequence, the emergence of dependence on the opinions of others.

The level of frustration and its consequences directly depends on the scale of the betrayal itself.

How to cope with the already manifested disappointment in a person? It is worth trying to answer the question why this incident occurred, why the subject had to meet your expectations. Analyzing the situation from another direction, one should take into account the personal characteristics of the subject, his behavior is entirely justified for him, the person does not have the slightest idea what you have imagined and what ideal qualities he has been attributed to. World views may be completely different from your own values ​​and beliefs - it is possible not to notice on couples of love.

An episodic repetition of your partner’s negative actions will probably make you understand that the essence of the incident lies much deeper, in the depths of your own experiences and emotional states. Alternatively, it is your behavior that contributes to the occurrence of such reactions. Do not blame everyone around, analyze your own actions and desires.

If disappointment caught you off guard, you should never accumulate negative emotions in your own inner world. Each of them must be allowed to react, to reach the completion stage. The accumulation of negative, emotional states can lead to inevitable psychological changes that you can’t overcome on your own. To effectively cleanse the internal state of excess negative emotions, you can use a few simple techniques: water purification (taking a shower, perhaps speaking all negative feelings on the water), walking in the fresh air, exercising, developing creative ideas that you put off; purchase a pet.

Do not dwell on what happened. Face the fact that what happened was inevitable and this is not the end of your existence, then you can live, while having a valuable psychological experience that allows you to avoid illusory influence in the future. Focus on your goals, do not plan the result, but as much as you can do yourself work to achieve goals.

Stop aligning with those around you. Strive for personal growth and self-improvement, do not copy the behavior of others who are successful or perfect in your opinion. Wean yourself idealize everything that comes your way, direct your world view in a different direction. Disappointment helped you to remove the veil, so learn to see the world with all its flaws, negative manifestations. Become an example for others, be the person that nature has created you with all the virtues and imperfections.

Drop all existing patterns, everyone, without exception, is given the opportunity to respond differently to the surrounding stimuli, each with their own individual view of the world. Do not be afraid to enter into new love relationships - the disappointment received in the past will serve you as an experience in the present.

Disappointment in a person's life is a natural emotional state, which should not be shy, moreover be afraid. It should be remembered that man is not subject to time, it is already impossible to change the situation of disappointment. This is not a sentence. The ability to control one's feelings, dreams and hopes, to rationally use them in relation to the desired subject, will allow a smaller number of fatal mistakes to be admitted, freeing the mind from excessive illusions.