Psychology and Psychiatry

How to return a former guy

How to return the ex-boyfriend? When the relationship ends, it happens that the girl begins to look for ways to return the ex-boyfriend. For the emergence of the desire to renew the relationship does not matter who initiated the separation. When the boy leaves, and love remains, then doing everything returns becomes clear, but when the girl decides to end the relationship and then come back, she also has her own explanations. Perhaps the breakup was a spur of the moment, perhaps after a pause in communication she re-assessed her partner in a new way, or maybe she just could not find someone better.

In many situations, guys are ready to resume relations, especially if they have appreciated important things for a pause, so despair and think that this event is useless is not worth it. But before returning to what has ended it is necessary to thoroughly deal with the events that contributed to the gap so that they do not happen again. To believe that the problem will disappear by itself is useless. It is necessary to soberly assess their readiness to come to terms with these factors that they did not arrange before. If the disagreements were based on the constant lack of a partner, then after the resumption of the relationship, the person will not suddenly become a homebody and conflicts will recur. You can rejoin if you are willing to put up with the shortcomings of your partner or change your own behavior regarding his requirements, if he was the initiator of the gap.

In any conflicts, especially in those that led to the termination of the relationship, both parties are guilty, so the constant accusations of the guy that the relationship collapsed will not help you in their renewal. It is unlikely that anyone wants to bear all the responsibility on their own, and to be constantly guilty. The best way out is to search for your own mistakes, find ways to solve them, honestly confess to a young man and only then express your own dissatisfaction about his behavior. It is necessary to offer ways to solve the existing difficulties, to tell what you can do personally to stabilize relations.

Look for your own reasons for wanting a relationship back. If this desire is dictated by the fact that you are bored, no one else is paying attention, it is hardly worth starting all over again. Such motivation leads exclusively to the construction of manipulative and artificial relationships that cannot be complete. If the guy went to the former, how to return it should not become the main idea. Most likely, past relationships were not completed or it is just a tendency of his behavior - to constantly return to past relationships. It may even be quite easy for you to bring him back, but the likelihood that he, too, will move away from you to other ex is extremely high.

You can only revive relationships if you feel love and want a serious relationship. You need to take a pause to finally understand your feelings. Missing your ex is a normal reaction, even if the separation was like a measured and deliberate act. Noticing that a week later the feelings were dulled, leave the person alone.

Also, a similar pause will help feelings to subside, and everyone will figure out their own desires. Meeting and discussing everything after a noticeable interruption in communication can be very useful and serve to start a new phase. A pause does not mean total avoidance, if you are connected by study and work, common affairs and friends. This means the termination of relationships, phone calls and intimate interaction. If the guy himself begins to take the initiative, then ask him to wait for a pause, be sure to indicate the dates and make it clear that he is important to you.

During the break, work on your own self-esteem, deal with the resulting states of possible anxiety or depression. The guy just does not want to become a lifejacket for you and return to a difficult relationship.

How to get the ex-boyfriend back - tips from the guys

Girls are often mistaken in their opinion about men's needs, evaluating them on their own, therefore, just men can give recommendations on how to return the ex-boyfriend. They are well aware of what not to do and what can attract interest. Many guys can tolerate the thought of returning, but lose this desire if the girl literally besieges him. The man himself is the initiator and invader, he is frightened by the girl’s persistent actions.

Guys appreciate girls with dignity, so you should not run after them, beg for forgiveness, humiliate yourself and promise to fulfill every whim. He does not need a slave, but needs a beautiful, confident, dignified and intriguing girl next to her, this is what you need to strive to become.

When emotions prevail, many girls do rather weird things that can lead to blocking her contacts. The most negative actions from the point of view of men are threats and blackmail. Threats usually include insulting and humiliating the guy himself, and predicting a terrible future without a given girlfriend. No one likes being insulted or treated like a property. Guys resolutely prevent communication after such manifestations, and it did not matter that the offensive text was personally in the eye or it was expressed to a common acquaintance.

Blackmail usually boils down to promises to do something with yourself (get poisoned, rush under a car, start drinking, etc.). In such a situation, it makes no sense to sort out the relationship, and the question arises about the mental state of the girl and her reliability. It is rather scary to cause someone's death, and such threats can be bound hand and foot. Relationships on this blackmail are impossible, love dies there, even if it was. If a man does not immediately block any access to himself and decides to stay, then all his thoughts will be busy preparing a situation where the safety of the girl will be provided by other people, having achieved what, he will definitely leave.

More guys do not advise to resort to pity, to tell how everything became bad without him and constantly ask for help. Men are important female emotions, and positive, and if it causes them, everything is all fine. It is best to leave the guy alone and take care of yourself.

Most young people admitted that if the former girl does not appear herself, then literally in the first week after the break, her life becomes interesting for them and they become interested in her, tracking pages on social networks or asking friends. You do not need to hang up every day information about how good you are, the guy may find that you are very happy to get rid of him, but periodically you need to add new information. So he will see that new events have started to happen in your life, this kindles interest. You can even sustain a rather long pause, about a month, then to appear in a changed image and with new achievements and projects.

How to return the former guy? The girl should continue to be interesting to other guys, then the former will begin to review the situation. When you are not interesting to anyone, the man is convinced of the correctness of parting and his attention goes. If around you after his departure a group of fans appeared, then it helps to see your best sides. The instinct of possessiveness in guys is developed very strongly, therefore he considers his ex-girlfriend to be his long time and jealousy in this case can help to return the relationship. But it is important to be able to observe the line, because when a girl kisses with everyone on every corner, she only convinces of the correctness of parting. It is necessary to do so that you are surrounded by beautiful courtship and care, so that the guys feel a competition for your attention. In addition, it will attract the interest of the former, it will raise self-esteem, and perhaps among the new fans will actually your person.

If you often meet or have common places, take care of your good mood. When the guys see cheerful girls, they want to be involved in this, when the former sees your smile, he involuntarily recalls all the beautiful moments. Just build your life really in the way that brings happiness, because the guys feel like playing fun and this is rather repulsive. In addition, general acquaintances are more likely to tell him about you. And if all his friends tell him that you are sitting at home and are sad, and he will see you in your general club weekly and laughing infectiously, this will give rise to doubts and mistrust.

At the meeting, stay warm and light, you can honestly say that you are glad to see him and that you are missing, but do not impose yourself, go on to your friends. Friendliness shows the guys that they are welcome. If he is afraid to come up, feels guilty or you have made so many complaints against him that he doesn’t know about your warm feelings, help him with the first step, but do not do things for him, even if the guy has a choice - this is also an important point in communication.

If a guy has spoken a lot of reproaches, and, having analyzed his dissatisfaction, you agree to change some of your personal traits and habits, then you must begin now. In periodic and casual communication, you can demonstrate that you are changing for the better. If he criticized for being late, then come earlier, expressed dissatisfaction with your figure - upload photos from the fitness center. But be careful, do not reshape yourself completely under his requirements, the guy after that may not return, and you will spend time and effort. So, at first, it is necessary to adequately evaluate his criticism, to thank mentally for the lessons and correct what you yourself consider to be good changes.

Guys appreciate sincerity, so when the main emotions subside, it makes sense to openly discuss relationships, to apologize for your own mistakes by listing them, but without using the phrase “I'm sorry for everything”. It is the detail that will give him an understanding of the value of relationships in your eyes and the fact that you are really ready to work on them. Speak your feelings towards him and your desire to renew the relationship.

How to return the ex-boyfriend if he has a girlfriend

To return a guy in a situation when he already has new intimate relationships, is a difficult and often unpromising task. When a man managed to build a new relationship, it means that either you are strongly delayed with the return, or he did not particularly appreciate you, if he found a replacement within a short period of time. Separately worth the point, if the guy went to the former, how to get him back becomes the number one task, but then rather a feeling of revenge, possessiveness and injustice. You can return a person only if you made a mistake, then realized it and want a long-lasting serious relationship. If the guy himself has committed many unpardonable acts and does not regret, then no matter how strong love is, it is better to leave him alone. When a guy is different, it is very serious and responsible to approach the process of resuming the previous relationship, since you will destroy other people's relations, but what you can build your happy ones again is not a fact.

Think, remember, when there was a desire to return. If this is connected with the appearance of a new girl in a young man, and before that you have almost forgotten about him, then it is better to abandon this venture. Jealousy, even if the former, is a rather strong feeling that can be confused with love, but this is only a desire to be the best. Satisfy this need in other ways. Only a clear understanding that together you will be better than separately deserves any steps towards.

So, how to get the ex-boyfriend back if he has another? First of all, you should put yourself in order, because you not only need to return the former’s attention, but also win the competition from his new passion. Her advantage is novelty and mystery, you have a partner’s knowledge and presence of feelings and shared memories. Do not rush to penetrate into their relations with all the pressure, here you need restraint, tactics, patience, skills of a sabotage group. The more you fear that while you endure, their relationship will be strengthened, the more rash actions you can accomplish. If you have already decided to take on such a serious event, then be prepared for a long struggle.

Do not avoid common meetings, on the contrary, you can start walking in common places, try to look great at the same time. The purpose of these meetings is not communication and open struggle, but demonstration and giving the guy the opportunity to compare you. To do this, you should not walk alone, but it is better to gather a cheerful company of nice people with whom you can have fun and enjoy the time. Whatever the romantic relationship, guys prefer more fun, jokes and simple rest than going to the theaters and the requirement to comply with a serious love tone.

You can write a new girl, just not on your own behalf and not a threat - such messages will force the guy to side with her, and you will be added to the blacklist. You can write a letter from an anonymous well-wisher, where it is worth describing a guy's girl in all negative details, you can even embellish the situation by inventing many bad situations in which the guy did not actually participate. The most primitive, it will make him quit, and the rest who decide to remain engender a lot of doubts that will spoil their relationship. The main thing is not to find out that you are the author of the letter.

Wait, leave them alone, do not appear at all, it is desirable to disappear for several months. It is usually during this period that the love euphoria subsides, and the first conflicts appear. It is at this time that you should appear when relationships themselves become unstable. All this time, you are engaged in self-improvement, not only external, to slay him with your appearance, but also internal, so that your world becomes a guy interesting, so that a conversation with you beckons him to beautiful places, away from those claims that began to arise with a new girl .

From this moment you begin to appear again in common places, behave in a fun and easy way. Your task - to behave like a friend, which will gradually get closer to the guy. The lack of obsession is like a girl, but a warm human participation engenders interest in him. At a minimum, he wants to check whether your feelings for him have completely died away - do not give up immediately, keep the chosen line. You can be interested in his affairs, in passing to talk about interesting events, offering to stop by, then go away and continue to go about your business.

It may turn out that the guy really sees you now only as a friend. And may even begin to consult on how to maintain this relationship. Do not give obviously bad advice, it is better to keep silent in general, and if you see that he is not going to leave her, soberly assess your ability to be friends with him. It is not always possible for a person to be returned back and it is better to set a deadline for yourself after which you will stop all attempts.

How to get back in touch with an ex-boyfriend if he doesn't want

It is quite simple to return the relationship after a break when regrets about what happened overtake both, but this rarely happens. The choice of action depends on the girl and the situation between partners. Sometimes it is more logical to let go and live parting on your own, but you can also try to change the situation.

If a guy speaks about the reluctance to continue the novel, do not send messages, annoy calls. Moreover, there is no need to arrange casual meetings in common places, most often he can see the staging of the situation. It is better to distance oneself as much as possible for a long time and absolutely not to remind oneself about yourself. Natural mental mechanisms are arranged so that after a couple of months, everyone thinks about the resumption of relationships, because the new life requires adaptation and is clearly less satisfied than usual. This time is enough to forget all the bad events and plunge into the nostalgia of the good. The interest of the guy is not necessarily manifested by a call or a meeting, but the guy who does not want to see you, will begin to be interested in you among friends or just listen attentively to the memories of you, he can also monitor your page on social networks. Do not close access, update information, stay interesting.

While you are lying low, analyze how much and in what you have changed during the relationship. If a guy once chose you as his companion, then for separation there should be good reasons.

Perhaps you used to be a talkative humorist, but now you have become silent and forever dissatisfied, or maybe when you met, you were constantly traveling, and now you cannot be pulled out of the house. Review the photos, for the guys is very important appearance. Когда девушка начинает игнорировать внешность, парнями это может восприняться как личное оскорбление. Проанализировав внутренний и внешний образ вам необходимо постараться стать той, в которую он влюбился. Естественно, когда встреча произошла пять лет назад, влезать в ту же мини-юбку будет смешно и глупо, но вернуть яркую одежду и ухоженную прическу стоит. Если место веселых компаний у вас заняла работа, то объективно оцените, насколько вам важна данная должность.

It may happen that the value of your life and self-perception, as well as the changes that have occurred, will exceed the value of the relationship, perhaps the state in which you are at the moment most fully reflects your true personality. Then you need to think about the advisability of changing yourself for the sake of someone who does not want to be with you. Perhaps it is better to look for someone who will fall in love with you.

To return the relationship with the former can help, if in a couple of months to appear with him, ask about the affairs, but no more. Against the background of the beginning nostalgia with your appearance, you help him switch back to you. The main thing is not to overdo it, live on with your life, from time to time you can appear in common companies or invite him to a big event (but not a private party).

Use jealousy, let him see that you are interesting to other guys. Perhaps his interest in you is gone, because you completely obeyed him, and the man is a conqueror. A woman who was able to convince her partner that men are not interested in her and she herself is not going anywhere, it becomes automatically not interesting. There is nobody to compete with, nothing to achieve, and the value is increasingly determined by external demand, so create it.

Be prepared that if the breakup occurred and you didn’t reconcile with a mutual desire within a week, then any schemes for returning the guy may not work. You should respect the choice of a person and not force the universe to obey your desires.