Psychology and Psychiatry

Where does the rejection of self come from and what to do with it

Rejection of oneself, fear of taking an extra step, fear of being wrong, constant attempts to “be the best” before society are all behaviors of an unsuccessful person. Such models are inefficient to change through autotraining and NLP practices, the action of which is controlled by consciousness. It is necessary to look and analyze the situation more deeply. Understand the possible causes and work with subconscious sources, not manifestations.

You were not expected

I will not claim that you are an unwanted child in the family. But if you are constantly “proving” something to everyone, expecting others to finally let their confession live, then you probably don’t feel the gift of a natural right to life ...

Perhaps, and even most likely, it was like this ...

At first they did not expect me.

Then did not want. No, not to the point of getting rid of. But I understood everything right away.

Then I was born. Of course, I was happy. But somehow it is not for real. It was a plastic joy. And I felt it too.

I knew that I was coming unexpectedly. I did not know why me. And even then she was afraid and did not want to fall into a cold, insensible, cruel world.

Today I see everything the same.

Then I was alone. No, not entirely alone - in the family. You know, it happens - with you near relatives, relatives, and you are alone. They say this is the worst thing - to be lonely among people. So I felt it already a child. When my world, my universe was in the parents - I did not feel them.

Somewhere at the age of 5 years, my parents did not pay attention to my feelings. No, nothing that can cause sympathy or compassion. Just like everyone else. I fed, dressed, combed, groomed. I even have my own room, and I sleep in a separate cot. And I feel lost, fear, anxiety. I feel bad. But nobody knows about it. Nobody wants to know about it.

Healing

Awareness of their place in this world

Imagine that, before you were born, a certain space was already prepared for you. In fact, it is at all. And for unborn children, it is also available. That is why many moms create a feeling of inner emptiness after abortions. Void cannot be filled. There is a place, but there is no person - he died without being born.

And you were born. And occupied the designated space. Feel your right to live, the right to be who you are! And finally, take this life with you! And remember: within your own space (without offending the interests of other people) you have the right to everything.

Know that your space has always been and will be. It will even be some time after leaving.

Your actions, reactions, words, actions affect the reaction, the lives of others. And no matter how minded your participation in the life of the universe, it is great. Regardless of achievements, successes or failures - you influence the interconnections of this world. People can accept or deny, rejoice or be angry, or even ignore you - this does not affect the fact of your presence.

What is the radius of the space around you? Close your eyes, imagine, determine your distance. Just realize that your space is much bigger! Much! Your place in the universe is not just radius meters, it is a whole funnel of events related to your influence!

True, it is impressive?

I propose to present a little more about your world, your universe. And if you didn’t have one before, then it’s time to create it. Let it be your abode, where you are, as you are. Only your feelings are important here. Here you are surrounded by attention (yours). Here you are the well-known and most important key historical person. Your opinion has a high value, because it is the only one. Even your wrongfulness is significant, because there is no other wrongfulness. And mistakes have the right to be flawed, because it's yours all. It is your abode, integrity and the full right to life.

Define the boundaries of your space. The boundaries in which you feel safe, in integrity and personal harmony. It is not necessary to let everyone into this space. Especially there is no place for those who can insult, offend, hurt, humiliate, etc. People can feel your space only if you let them know that you have it. Determine how far you can let a pleasant or unpleasant person.

And even if you are a hermit and live in the forest. And the people have rejected you, and the society has not accepted, and you are alone - you still have your space. And if you live on the edge of the village - your space is the area beyond the edge of the village. And it is much more than a compressed territory of a social person.

In your abode you are your own, and the King, and God and the navel of the earth. Here, only your orders, laws and rules. No need to prove it to others. Enough not to let unwanted others. Whoever you are and no matter how you live, you need to protect your space. Open the doors to those who you want to see next to whom happy. And lock them in front of those who might offend or insult. They have no place in your life.

It is very important to build a new relationship in such a way that the insults do not touch, touch or touch your feelings, your soul. And this is possible only through personal protection - the inviolable, untouchable territory, which is controlled only by you.

Your place appeared at the same time as it became known that you would come to this world. When did this become known? When the two cells of your parents met, and your new life was born.

And here you are. No, not yet born. But you can already "remember" yourself.

My birth (exercise)

You are slowly swaying alone, in a comfortable space ... Feel: they are waiting for you! Everyone is waiting for you to come to this world! You are welcome! They want to see you faster! And of course you know that. Do not rush - now do not need to rush. Everything happens on its own. You do not mind it.

You are ready to be born.

And when you see the light - it is a joyful light! You're yelling. You announce the world with your presence!

Hooray!

Man is born!

Do you hear You rejoice! At first this is mom - happiness glows in her eyes. There are also doctors - they are always happy for the new parish. They seem to be charged with this powerful flow of energy of birth. This is their job ... and life. People around you. There will always be people around you. And they greet you.

You came! This is happiness!

If it is necessary in a deeper form, at the level of feelings, you can feel confidence in the world and the joy of your birth - you can do this by reading the first part of the book “People from the closet”. One of the chapters is devoted to the birth of man. Hero's emotions are easily shifted to their own perception.

I am a child (exercise)

Now imagine yourself a five year old child. Come back to that conscious time, when you are just welcome. The main value is that you are. Feel yourself like it is a child who is accepted and loved for nothing. And be in your main state until you are full, calm, confidence, joy from yourself will become a true, integral part of you no matter what.

And do not resurrect, what exactly happened. What were the events, who said what. It is absolutely not important. It is much more useful to start reprogramming yourself now.

At first, the reader felt his place on this earth, now he has to feel himself. These are very important first steps. And they still have to do a lot. In the context of non-acceptance of oneself, they can be difficult. Much easier to hide. Pretend that me, such a "bad", "unexpected", "wrong" - no. But I am. And there is my place on this earth. And there is my right to live and be what I am. And I love myself and accept as I am.