For the entire period of human existence, the concept of love was understood to be too many different designations. Each individual perceives it in his own way. What is a disease, emotion, feeling, condition, intimate attraction? But often they talk about love when they describe relationships among representatives of the male part of the population and girls. This feeling can not be regarded as something one-sided and standard. Love is not an ordinary feeling or experience, it is a way of being of individuals with a certain worldview, values and the presence of a set of qualities inherent in the individual in love. Love describes not so much the words, but the actions, behavior of the individual, his actions and experiences.
What is love between a man and a woman
Love, love, love-passion or love-habit, consumer or love-giving, are varieties of love between different sexes. In order to establish a condition that has a great influence on the development of love, it is enough to determine the foundation on which this feeling is built. Most likely it will be a social stereotype, physiological attraction, the state of the human soul, something at the head of the behavior: mind or feelings. The nature and type of love is determined by the attitude of the subject to people or life, his perception of himself in society. This is a reflection of the inner world of the individual.
Love is such a contradictory feeling that is being chased, or from which it is being run away, it is very much appreciated or neglected. From it rise or it destroys a person mentally and at the level of physical health. About stereotypes of intersexual love are shouting everywhere, be it TV, radio, books, billboards. This is a definite social game, where everyone leads their own hunt, and having got their prey, they create prosperous alliances. Is this true in truth? Initially, a person is interested in how to get the attention of his half, understand himself, love him or use him. In the future, some are looking for ways to develop feelings, others for their manifestation, and others for how to preserve the feeling of love. Some individuals are really looking for an opportunity to escape from this feeling, having extinguished every manifestation of it. If everything is not smooth and a feeling disappears between a woman and her lover, a difficult task arises - how to stop tormenting and tormenting another, how to stop loving or parting.
You can talk about love long enough, in different direction vectors. First of all, it is caring, disinterested, bringing only satisfaction in the lives of both individuals. This is a counterbalance to suffering for the individual. Everyone he met, even once, once dreamed of connecting his life with an individual capable of changing his existence, adding paints of emotions to it and creating harmony. At the same time, people tend to reduce such an exalted feeling to an intimate attraction. Yes, of course, the traditional foundation of love is sexual attraction. Since it has been proven by neuroscientists after studying the brain activity of people in love, sexual desire is a purposeful dopaminergic motivation that promotes the formation of paired bonds. First of all, as a fundamental factor, sexual desire acts in adolescence, when values and an adequate personal outlook are not fully developed. Mature age is characterized by a more subtle manifestation of intimate intentions. The subject makes a mistake when he perceives a fleeting attraction or arousal for the source of love.
For a morally adult person, love is not an everyday feeling, but a way of life with certain priorities such as responsibility, respect, attention, mutual understanding.
• Zero position - "just" love. This is a manifestation of the physiological to the partner: dramatically rolls on the individual, just disappears, regardless of the will of the subject. Social pattern embedded in the consciousness of the individual. Fast and reckless formation of feelings, which often ends in personality frustration. Someone from a couple allows themselves to play the role of a lover, playing out the "standard" behavioral norms of love, often imposed by society.
• The first position is love and "I". It acts as a life position of an individual to get more, even more immediately than to give to a lover. One of the subjects of love dwells at the expense of the needs, needs of a person and the interests of the lover (love-want). Sometimes it manifests itself as "love-giving": there is an interest to give something, while the gift should be expedient from the point of view of the person who wants it.
• The second position - love and "you." Position in life when interests and needs of a loved one are initially taken into account. Appears in the forms of "love-responsiveness" or "love-care." In the process, the individual as a person dissolves in his beloved, lives with the idea of delivering maximum pleasure for his chosen one. Sometimes it develops into an annoying custody of a love subject.
• The third position is love and "we." More loyal and rich life position. Regards loving individuals as a couple, how much each individual is ready for change, what contribution they make to the relationship. People, as the union of two individuals, see themselves as one thing, ready to understand and create love.
• The fourth position is love and "life." With such a worldview, there are concepts of the future, past and present. The concepts of the existence of the world around a couple and people are considered. The subjects of love seek to see how capable they are to develop their feelings, so that in the future, through the years, they can save themselves and give something not only to themselves, but to the world, thanks to this feeling.
• The fifth position - the "angel". The vital position of the individual, allowing him to become a source of love, its manifestation. Implies a wise control of behavior, adequate commitment in the form of care. The individual brings pleasure and joy in caring for a loving person. With such a position in the behavior of the individual is often the most self-realized person. He has everything he needs for himself, now he only cares what he is ready to offer to his beloved.
The value of love in human life
Long since society has been trying to solve a problem: is it necessary to have a feeling of love in life. Nothing forbids simply to live, without separating thoughts from work, relationships based on mutual understanding and trust on a super-emotional feeling of love. Often the individual comes to the conclusion that supposedly it is easier to live without love, why it is needed at all. Everything in the world is not created aimlessly, there is some harmony in the existence of man. Without this feeling, human existence is doomed to ruin.
The judgment that this feeling is not needed by the individual arises on the basis of unrequited feelings, often manifested in anxious youthful age. But unrequited feelings are not love. Love is a feeling of affection, responsibility for a partner, mutual understanding and support, when everything is done and created together and on a reciprocal basis. Psychology of personality defines the factor of love in human life as fundamental, although it has various variations and transformations, this feeling occupies an essential place in the existence of a personality. Psychologists describe men and girls as individuals with different mental structures, like two different poles. It is the feeling of love that allows them to unite and create a new beginning, to continue their race accordingly.
Love is an incentive for many to create fairy tales, poems, legends and parables. It was imprinted as an eternal image in the paintings, sculptures and architecture created by talented people. This is the impetus for the creation, development and creation of harmony. But having caught the individual by surprise, sometimes this feeling leads to disastrous consequences. One ancient parable says that the sage, who was trying to help the boy to understand the truth “what is love,” could not give a clear answer himself. The main thing that was said in his speech is that it takes time for feeling to test it for sincerity and strength.
Love happens to be in love: when you cannot imagine your existence without a partner, no one except the “beloved” seems better. In the beloved, the individual is able to see only good qualities. True love is a standard of calm and balance, it allows you to see the bad and beautiful qualities, helps to understand them and accept the person as he is.
Not only poets, psychologists, philosophers, but also doctors were engaged in describing the true manifestations of this feeling, and its interpretation remains difficult today. Love can appear spontaneously, like a drop of dew, arising in the smallest act. Over time, mutual feelings turn into an ocean of love, covering not only the hearts of those who love, but also the world around them. Through the prism of love, a person is able to understand and realize many new things, create harmony in his life, know himself.
Should I confess love first
“Hide in the Mink” is the most popular option among many when an unexplainable state appears, when a person realizes that he is in love. It’s not every man or boy, girl or successful lady who is in a hurry to be the first to admit. The main reason that a person is afraid to express their feelings is the feeling of panic, when they do not accept or reject. Fear of the feelings of hearing a mockery from the subject of adoration. The cause of these fears mainly goes into deep childhood or in a reverent youthful age. This is a period when it is characteristic of an individual to more openly express his feelings, at the same time it makes him vulnerable. The bitter experience of failure at this age is transferred into the life of an adult, prompting the individual to control his desires and emotions more carefully.
An interesting psychological fact is that the representatives of different sexes, lay in the categorically different meaning of love. Women put the meaning "I belong to the beloved entirely." While men mean "I am responsible for my beloved responsibility." Often this results in a certain feature, when it is harder for a woman to confess to the chosen one: "I want you," and for a man: "I love you." Due to such psychological characteristics, girls tend to fantasize superpowers to their beloved. That he should guess about the feelings that manifest themselves through the prism of hints and begin to act himself. Representatives of the male sex in such ladies' hints put a completely different concept, for example, that a girl simply flirts, shows friendly care or wants to boast of her culinary skills. The girl, in response to this, perceives the inaction of the chosen one as indifference and unwillingness to make contact.
For the majority of individuals, the pronunciation of the phrase "I love you" is difficult, experts recommend for this to turn to simpler forms of phrases. Such alternative expressions are, for example, "I want to be with you," "I like you," "it's nice to be with you." At the start of the development of feelings that is enough. For the development of relationships or a more effective way to convey your feelings, you need to use words and actions at the same time. However, requests for the importance of actions were always puzzling for men, since there is a concept that a woman loves with her ears. But it’s another thing when beautiful words are reinforced by sincere actions that allow helping representatives of the charming part of the population to understand the seriousness of the partner’s intentions.
Confessing their love, psychologists, for a start, advise you to set yourself up for two types of development of events. After all, the answer beloved (lover) can be positive and not quite. The chances of an individual who chooses a revelation with his chosen one are fifty-fifty. Experts recommend that if you decide to admit, realize the possible options to fail. If a person hears no reciprocal answer, it will be easier to retreat and the level of frustration will be less. Each individual and everyone is looking for exactly their half. Having found it among millions of people, it is inconceivable to lose your chance, otherwise the "second" half of the suitable half will not be found.
Society today breaks stereotypes. A strong half of the population - men, at the moment - softened their character, and the girls came to the conclusion that everything must be taken into their fragile hands. Men just have to wait for everything to happen on their own. Confess your love is necessary! It will be ridiculous or not as planned all my life. Any emotional manifestation from the point of view of the psychological health of the individual must have a conclusion, its outcome. It is not necessary to wait, with folded arms, that a miracle will happen, it must be done independently.
Can there be happiness without love
The concept of love is treated as something important for the existence of an individual in society. On the other hand, there is a lot of controversy about life without this feeling. "The main thing in life is love" - sounds from virtually all media in any country. Without this important feeling you can live. The question arises, what will such a life be like what? A subject without love can exist like everyone else. At first glance, his life is no different: he goes for a walk with friends, watches TV, goes to work, eats, sleeps. Having all the important things that I dreamed of from early childhood, I still feel an insatiable feeling of loneliness. Love - a feeling that can change life, pushes for deeds, contributes to the self-improvement of each person: people play sports, look after their appearance, increase the level of self-education, everything that would attract the other half. Therefore, the main thing in life is love, able to rule the world and people.
Not every individual is able to love. Sometimes without meeting oneself or by virtue of education, a person is able to abandon the feeling of love, compensating for other emotions. For people who have not met their half, it is common to create families with people who show a sense of care and attention. Let it not, mutually, create new social cells, reconcile with it, live happily. Someone destined in this position to fall in love with a partner is unexpected for himself. A small flame of brightly colored emotions will flare up and the person will learn about the benefits of mutual love and the family created in harmony. The inevitable is the option that love does not come. There is a positive side - that crisis moment will not come when this feeling will be extinguished and become a habit. Happiness without love exists, it is hidden in the spirituality and self-development of personalities who are able on the basis of this to form a prosperous family.
How are the concepts of loyalty and love
Based on the above material, it follows that love is a mutual feeling, noble, based on mutual understanding, mutual development, mutual support. Is there such a sublime feeling without loyalty?
Human quality, contributing to the manifestation of resistance to a particular event or subject, based on personal choice and attitudes, is called fidelity. For a morally adult individual, love is a conscious choice. Only when both subjects create a common concept of existence, make a choice in the direction of creating a common good, the development of family values, the way they plan to live, does a true feeling of love form. Accordingly, it is a conscious choice, leading to the maintenance of loyalty.
Treason - an action that implies not only the mistake of the individual, but mainly his immaturity and short-sightedness in creating relationships. But it happens that loyalty is stored in a relationship not only because of feelings. It happens when one partner is comfortable to live in such an environment. In meaningful and healthy relationships, the presence of love implies a feeling of loyalty. Infidelity in a relationship where both partners do not value each other, do not want to develop together, is regarded as a betrayal.
How to forget the former love
The feeling of love is not forever, sometimes not mutual. Everyone who is trying to experience true love must initially be prepared for the disappointment and loss of a loved one. Experienced feelings in the aftermath of failure in mutual relations or after the loss of the person you love, bring the person out of balance, lead to depression.
Specialists offer various options to help reduce the level of suffering:
- Awareness of whether a person really loved helps to reveal subconscious feelings of affection or self-hypnosis. A person needs to think about how honest he is to himself;
- Try to change your life, make it as unlike as possible as it was. Стоит изменить круг общения, номер телефона, избавиться от напоминающих об человеке вещей (отдайте, что возможно в детские приюты или в дома для беженцев, ненужный хлам, на то и ненужный - выбросить его), без возможности изменить место жительства, измените обстановку в квартире (новая мебель или старая, но по новому расположена), измените режим дня;
- find a class that contributes to the maximum distraction of your attention: sports, handicrafts, reading books;
- devote all lost time to relatives, friends, let them help you;
- change the attitude to what happened - this is not a global catastrophe, you are alive and well, only the person has disappeared, your ability to love has remained with you. Take a lesson from what happened: happiness is created by us on our own;
- should never be closed from new acquaintances, a world full of surprises that await everyone;
- Do not hold a grudge against a person, wish happiness and good luck, just let go.
It is necessary to remember, the person who left, should leave only once, do not let him return, do not humiliate yourself. Allow yourself to become happier, to find harmony, precisely because the person has left. Life gives a person a chance to live without the individual who made him suffer.