Every person dreams to be happy, to succeed, to create a prosperous family. For this, he creates plans, defines his goals and objectives, imagining in advance a plan for their solution and his own actions. But it is human nature to be distracted, to forget about everything that he has conceived, yielding to momentary desire or action, which does not at all correspond to the chosen plan of actions. Distracting to a fleeting desire, it is common for an individual to not only forget about the plans that have been built, but it is also difficult to return to their implementation. The reason for all this is the lack of personality ability to control their actions, desires and emotions. The ability to control one’s own “I” is the strength of an individual’s character, helping to hold unnecessary emotions, to take feelings under control, the ability to act purposefully at any moment, to restrain impulsive motivations, and to follow established norms and rules of behavior.
Tips for learning how to control your emotions
Deprived of self-control of his own emotional states and feelings, a person is able to easily succumb to them and perform uncontrollable, rash acts. The ability to restrain and self-control is those qualities of character that most people lack in the modern world. Due to the presence of different types of temperament and the different upbringing of individuals, situations often occur called conflicts. Emotionality of a person, lack of self-control skills, control of one’s own emotions, leads to disastrous consequences, changes in the mental state of an individual, development of aggression. Therefore, how to learn to control yourself and not get angry is not a simple question, but one of the frequently asked psychologists.
A person experiences deep respect, admiration and most importantly this desire to become similar, looking at a person who is able to control emotions, act according to the goals set, is able to achieve success, without being distracted by petty desires, focus on the main thing, separate the secondary from the truly important.
How to control yourself and not be nervous? To realize that this quality of personality is necessary, to find a point of contact, prompting agreement with one's own "I". Restraint and the ability to control helps to regulate the levels of emotional manifestations, which allows to achieve success in various fields, the most important thing is to establish emotional balance and preserve a healthy psyche. The possession of quality control allows an individual to feel secure, to achieve personal freedom, to gain respect from himself and from the people around him. A person who is capable of not submitting, but to overcome his own momentary desires - is strong, able to overcome all sorts of difficulties. Meanwhile, his willpower is hard to break for those who wish evil to this individual. Restrained people are able to control themselves, their own actions, thoughts, emotions, actions.
How to learn to control yourself and not get angry at others? How to learn to act correctly? Deeds, after which a person repents, are often performed in a state of emotional discouragement and on the basis of false feelings. Absolutely nothing good is that the emotions of a person occupy the upper step above his mind. Everything should interact harmoniously, leading a person to success in the professional sphere, in personal life and in inner peace of mind. Therefore, a person who wants to learn to control must carefully analyze his own behavior and desires. Having done this, find the "weak spots" where it allows you to give up the slack and allow emotions to take over.
Itzhak Pintosevich, a man who is a coach of the success of human life, expressed the opinion that for the effectiveness and success of achieving self-control, control should consist of three components that should be developed simultaneously:
- first - the subject must learn to treat themselves honestly, not to be deceived and not to create illusions around;
- the second - control should exist in two planes: internal and external. By controlling the task itself, a person can tell about it to his colleagues or friends, while promising them, if he does not fulfill at the appointed time, pay the fine. External stimulus, allows you to not be distracted by third-party activities, and go in this direction;
- third - control of their behavior should be performed systematically and only. If an individual engages in self-control on a case-by-case basis, it will be just a waste of time, and the person himself confident in his efforts aimed at control will complain about life, fate, and, as a result, disappointment in his own life activity, since he did not succeed.
A person beginning to learn self-control, should make a list of goals, following the appropriate hierarchy. This list should always be visible: on the desktop, on the refrigerator, on the wall, which the individual sees when waking up. You need to control the actions committed every day, noting even the slightest progress towards the goal.
Getting into a variety of situations, whether they are joyful or sad, you should analyze what is happening and track your own reaction, what emotional response comes out and at what moments.
Having identified situations that cause a "storm of emotions," the individual needs to understand and realize whether the incident is worth such experiences. It is possible to imagine the worst possible solution to the situation, which will make it possible to realize which of the consequences will be more destructive for the psychological state of the individual: the consequences of the happened situation or inappropriate, emotionally rash behavior.
For the release of accumulated negative energy, sports are well suited: any kind of struggle or self-defense. What is important is the inner desire of the individual to get rid of negative emotions. This can be done in another way, more loyal to their own physical health and the health of others. For example, if an individual does not like a subject, so much so that the person is ready to go into a fight or just destroy it, it really needs to be done. But you need to do it mentally! In the situation when a person becomes uncomfortable at the time of communication with the subject of hatred, you should do everything mentally with what you want with this subject. It is also possible to use paper as a tool to help get rid of negative emotions: you can draw a person who you hate, and next to write down the problems arising from this person. Then the sheet should be burned, and mentally or even verbally put an end to the relationship with the person.
Faced daily with envy, rudeness and injustice, the individual should not be upset and react violently every time. Without the ability to change circumstances, you simply need to change your attitude towards them, and dealing with your own attitude is much easier.
The emotional state of the individual is relatively strongly dependent on the state of his finances. You should keep control of your financial situation, loans, expenses and income. The fewer shortcomings and problems in the direction of finances, the fewer reasons there will be distractions, paying attention and wasting your strength.
Creating the maximum comfort in the house, peace in all affairs and relationships, the ability to influence what is happening at any time is the surest way to control your own emotional experiences.
How to learn to control yourself in alcohol
Self-control is a quality that consists not only in the ability to regulate emotions and feelings, but also in their habits, hobbies and actions. Often there are many difficulties in controlling alcohol use. Alcohol is a certain kind of toxin, the use of which is relatively hard to refuse, but many still have no such desire. There is only the desire to learn to control the face of what is permitted. Many drinks with the presence of alcohol, getting into the body, manifest their impact not immediately, but after a certain time. It is because of this that individuals who generally drink in small quantities turn out to be the most drunk of the whole big company.
There are several ways to learn to control yourself in alcohol and not get angry for the consequences.
The first thing an individual needs to do is to realize that drinking alcohol weakens a person’s will, the ability to control his actions. After all, for many people, everything begins with drinking alcohol in a large circle of friends, in honor of the holiday. But this usual use can grow into excessive, regardless of the situation. Over the course of a certain amount of time, an individual is faced with the fact that his life has qualitatively changed and sank to a completely undesirable level of being.
The second step in controlling alcohol consumption is the realization that drinking has become uncontrollable. It is necessary to confess to the individual that this has become his weakness. As soon as he admits that he is weak, there comes a moment capable of moving a person further along the path of solving the problem.
Drinking alone should be avoided. "If it's just a beer," many will notice. Drinking beer becomes the source of the development of alcoholism, and leads to a form that is very difficult to cure. Avoid companies where they often drink, especially for no reason. It is important to learn your norm and always try to control it.
If an individual knows that in his free time he is able to easily go and topple a bottle of liquor, one should establish the rules for free time. Instead of a noisy company with alcohol and festivities until the morning, it is better to go to the cinema, theater, go for a run. It is necessary to keep the most active lifestyle, find a hobby that will bring the same pleasure as alcohol. But if you have to go on a holiday that implies drinking, you should clearly determine the amount of alcohol that will be drunk. It will be even better if your boyfriend or girlfriend who can control it will know about it.
You should learn to set yourself a goal of a healthy lifestyle, the extraction of pleasure without the use of any toxins.
How to learn to control the appetite
A large number of girls ruin their health with various diets and starvation in order to lose weight, which is considered superfluous, to get in shape to like men. After some time of inactivity, the girls are gaining weight again, this leads to irritability, anger, and sometimes depression. Experts involved in nutrition, argue that a more effective way to remove excess weight, is only the regulation of their own appetite. That is, you should learn to recognize the desires of the organism itself, how to satisfy them, while controlling your appetite. Scientists identify different types of hunger, respectively, which requires different methods of control.
So there is a visual hunger, when passing by the window with buns, a person notices a croissant or cake that causes an instant thirst to eat it. The type of food triggers the release of a certain set of hormones in the blood that provoke a feeling of hunger.
How to control visual hunger:
- a person should first switch to a completely different object. Figuratively speaking, eat with the eyes of a nice guy passing by or an apple depicted on a poster;
- before eating, it is worth considering carefully how appetizing everything looks;
- even if the meal happens alone, the table setting should be perfect, up to the color of the tablecloth and the correct position of the food on the plate.
Physiological hunger is a breakdown, rumbling in the stomach, headache. These are signs that the body needs to replenish energy reserves.
How to control your appetite:
- Slowly eat, paying attention to the signals given by the body;
- stop in the middle of a meal in order to appreciate the strength;
- Do not confuse hunger with irritability or anxiety.
Taste of hunger, may be due to the desire to feel a special taste, something concrete or original.
To control the taste hunger you need:
- use the same product in different dishes (for example, cook fish for a couple, in the oven or make fishballs;
- try to diversify to the maximum the food you take, even if it wakes up something extraordinary.
You should also learn to ask yourself: "Is it worth it?", "Am I sure that I really want this?" Until you get the true answer to these questions, do not simply litter the stomach.