Treason on the part of the girl usually takes them by surprise and is perceived by many guys more severely than a break in relations. Such an act is comparable to betrayal and is capable of destroying long-term relationships, long-term plans and rather strong feelings, but what steps to take depends on the feelings and situation, as well as on the outlook on both partners. Variations of events are infinite, but they can be typed as to how the guy is informed about what happened.

In the clearest and simplest version, the girl herself will say that she was wrong - there is no point in looking for evidence, accusing of dishonesty, but it makes sense to find out the reasons. Moreover, both the motivation for treason and the recognition motivation are important - there are frequent options that the girl regrets her misconduct, but tries to refrain from lying or does not want it to come up somewhere. For some girls, cheating is a convenient way to end a relationship, in which there is no need for a long time to explain their position. With such a course of events, it is important to find, in addition to pain, also thanks for frankness.

In the case of the code, the guy himself witnessed treason (he saw a girl kissing another, or even found them at home) then there were no options for excuses either. The girl's behavior after betrayal is hard to predict, two cardinal options are possible - either she ends the relationship, or apologizes and promises to fix everything. How much to believe, and whether it depends on sincerity, but it is important for a guy to remember that he was initially deceived, and he himself became an accidental witness to the betrayal.

Among the unconfirmed changes can be the guesses of the guy himself, the stories of mutual friends and neighbors, the strange behavior of the girl, random coincidences and other options that are not facts. In the presence of such implicit treason girls, the main thing is not to succumb to the opinions of others and their own emotional outbursts, but to evaluate the situation as abstractedly as possible, it is even possible to discuss your assumptions with her. It is necessary to evaluate the facts, talk to the girl, ask the evidence from the storytellers. Remember that in many articles women are advised to cause jealousy among their boyfriends if they have lost interest in them, so maybe this is staged. Perhaps the boy’s prior intimate relationship experience contained adultery, so jealousy flares up quite often, especially if he has no control over every step the girl has. This is a serious and extremely important job - to determine the actual presence of adultery or slander against a girl, because in one case you risk losing and offending a loyal person, in the other you allow yourself to be deceived.

Signs of treason girls

The obvious kind of change is quite rare, but it is very dramatic and vividly illustrated in books and movies. In life, the existence of a second relationship is usually attempted to hide and avoid drama; therefore, it is worthwhile to pay particular attention to the various signs pointing to treason.

Usually betrayal does not occur under the influence of mood or company, as is the case with men. This is a lengthy process of starting a second relationship, and signs of this can be seen even before the immediate fact of betrayal, as when the novel had already begun.

A sign indicating a lack of trust and the presence of a second hidden life is the closeness of the girl’s personal space. If passwords appeared on her laptop and phone, social network pages were closed, and she began to take her mobile with her even to the toilet - then there is clearly information that the guy does not need to know. Such secrecy is given attention only if it appears after a period of openness, when you could safely check your mail using its gadgets. Otherwise, it testifies to an unsettled confidence in you more than about treason.

How to determine the betrayal of a girl? As an additional experiment, try to take her phone in front of the girl in front of your eyes - if you hear a lot of unfounded complaints, you get an inadequate inadequate reaction, then this is a reason to be wary. Changes accompany all significant moments in the life of girls, and especially changes. They celebrate promotion with a new dress and change their hairstyle to get out of depression. If the scrupulousness in the selection of clothes and make-up resembles the period of the beginning of your relationship, and the habit of gathering quickly quickly again changed the thoroughness of the selection of the image, then most likely she wants to like someone else. Exceptions are moments, if there is a visible reason, to change the appearance (the desire to lose weight, the remark of a colleague, unforeseen damage to the old wardrobe, etc.) or these are the consequences of a marathon or training session.

The emergence of new friends, girlfriends, companies that are not acquainted. This also includes overnight stays with friends, whom the guy knows well personally. Such events serve as a cover for true pastime, especially if a girl forbids her to take her from there, does not tell the address, and does not show photos.

Watch where her time, attention, strength and emotional experiences go. If earlier she was striving to improve the comfort in the house, wanted to free herself early, monitored the topics of your interests or plan joint leisure time, but now she abandoned it all - a sign of no consolation. When constant virtual communication, night messages or a mysterious smile are added to the screen, indifference to what you are doing and late returns - everything goes to the end of your relationship, even if the fact of betrayal has not yet happened.

It is also possible to change attitudes on an emotional level, and in extreme cases this is a feature that excludes harmony and diversity of reactions. Not only coldness, but also excessive, causeless caress can be manifestations of treason. Then the girl becomes constantly satisfied and caring, forgiving blunders, trying to atone for his guilt and replaying in the image of good relations. In the second variant there will be constant discontent, reproaches, irritability. It is quite possible claims regarding those things that the guy does, as usual (to tell how best to drive the lane or that you have prepared is not such a coffee). These calls indicate a loss of interest and respect, this level of dissatisfaction with the relationship leads to a break, even if the fact of betrayal is absent.

A clear indicator is the physical removal, and this applies not only to intimacy. Many women, trying to avoid exposure, just try very hard and please intimate, but they can dodge a kiss, instinctively pull back the hand, not touch during the day. Minimizing physical contact with an unpleasant person and the manifestation of rejection on an instinctive level cannot be controlled.

Indifference is the point of no return. Many guys at first rejoice that the girl has ceased to express dissatisfaction and demand more attention, but in reality, such indifference is an indication that the boy has become indifferent to her, and she receives the necessary care elsewhere.

Is it possible to forgive the betrayal of a girl

Whether to forgive a girl's betrayal is a decision made on the basis of the semantic values ​​of the guy and his emotions, as well as the very desire of the culprit and her behavior. If betrayal is unacceptable in your picture of the world, efforts to forgiveness and unlimited love will not help. Anyway, the memory of what happened will constantly burst into your life. Noticing the large differences in formal and internal values, the best option would be to abandon the resumption of relations, since the discrepancy in basic aspirations will give rise to eternal conflicts and dissatisfaction.

Forgiveness cannot be formal, for the sake of maintaining relationships, or with the desire to manipulate a girl's guilt feelings. When you forgive the betrayal of a girl, you agree to forget. Reminding and shaming a girl with this periodically cannot be, in the end, such a relationship will disintegrate.

If the relationship is expensive and the feeling of love is strong, the girl regrets what happened and wants to improve the relationship, then you can think about renewing the relationship and forgiveness. It is necessary to establish compensation in order to understand how much the girl is ready to change and what is she ready for for the sake of your relationship, which now just needs correction. This may be a request to change your habits or establish marital status in social networks; you can only request joint leave or meetings with friends. In general, requirements should contribute to a qualitative change in relationships.

Forgiving a person, you will need to rebuild yourself and conduct a serious analysis of past relationships, ways of interaction, wishes and your own contribution to the situation. It will be necessary to change a lot in the relations themselves and themselves, not allowing the former reactions and patterns of behavior that contribute to such a crisis. Without these changes, the situation will repeat as soon as the emotions calm down. Some couples can only maintain relationships, feeling the need for each other only after the loss.

Listening to the advice of friends and relatives is meaningless, they are due to the desire to help you and save you from unnecessary suffering. By exerting inhuman efforts, upholding pride and not forgiving, many remain miserable all their lives, being in constant expectation of that girl. It is important to feel your inner decision and if you have already forgiven in your soul, then there is no point in isolating yourself, but it is necessary to speak out what happened and prevent repetition. If, however, only social desirability and the fear of loneliness emerge from the motives of forgiveness, and everything inside protests against a person’s distrust, then it is better not to depict forgiveness.

In many ways, the decision of forgiveness helps the analysis of the motivation of treason girls. If this happened under the influence of the moment or the girl follows a culture in which such manifestations are recognized as the norm, then only a guy with similar principles can forgive. If in the process of clarifying the reasons it turned out that the guy is also partly to blame for what happened, then it makes sense to change both for the sake of maintaining relationships.

Reasons for treason girls

In an effort to understand why betrayal occurred, often the guys are looking for flaws in the upbringing or character of a girl, friends and acquaintances are great help in this, but the truth is that the two usually contribute to the destruction of relationships. Girls do not betray those with whom they are well and with whom they are happy. It is naturally impossible to be perfect for everyone, because different girls have different value systems and fall in love with different men, but to understand what qualities are important for your girl. When a guy is not attentive, constantly severely teasing, does not show seriousness, then the probability of adultery is maximum. Assess your needs, and if your companion can not sit at home, and tends to the mountains, then treason will happen with the climber while you play the console. You can change yourself and habits, trying to be more close to each other, but you can initially look for a loved one who has the same values.

A long novel involves the entire emotional sphere of the girl, but one-time random betrayals are not excluded. They usually occur in situations where it is inconvenient to refuse to go to visit, when they call all friends or intoxicated. When the other guy turns out to be too persistent, the girl can not stand. An occasional romance may spin from female competition, when friends are surrounded by male attention and the girl wants to show that men are still interested in her too.

Girls can use treason as revenge. If you are seriously quarreled, and she left the evil, the desire to show you that you have lost, it may lead to someone else's embrace. The restoration of justice after your betrayal is seen by many not as working on relationships and strengthening them, but as a reason for your own campaign on the side to even the score. But quarrels do not always entail a deliberate betrayal out of spite, it can happen from a strong feeling of resentment. So in situations where you hurt a girl badly, hurt her, she may need support, and if there is another guy around who cares about her, then in contrast to your behavior, the girl may fleetingly fall in love. In addition, many quarrels may remind of parting, and sometimes these words are pronounced - in such situations, the girl may not even consider herself guilty, otherwise what was the reason for the fact of the break. The speed of finding another guy in this case is easily explained by the many friends who are just waiting for your puncture and are always ready to give their shoulder.

A long relationship between your girlfriend and her betrayal indicates a lack of attention or warmth, perhaps talk about intimate topics or intimacy itself. Remember when you said compliments or beautifully courted. Most women's adultery happens when there is no opportunity to get important psychological moments in official relations, while the material side and the cost of gifts do not matter.

How to forgive the betrayal of a girl

When the decision is made to continue the relationship and the question of whether to forgive the betrayal of a girl is a certainty, a new task emerges - the stage-by-stage nature of this process. The first thing to understand is that betrayal is a thing of the past and it’s not logical to draw this event as a red thread through the present moments. Everything that happened must be left behind, for which all feelings, experiences, fears, fears and pain must be thrown out so that they do not poison life. It is important to distinguish between the discussion with the girl of the reasons and agreement for the future and emotional discharge. You can scream when you are alone, you can write her letters and not send her, or contact a psychologist. There are a lot of ways - the main thing is that inside you do not have any conscious feelings that you have restrained consciously.

Continue to be offended if you decide to stay together and discuss everything, it makes no sense - now just watch the real behavior and speak your fears in time. Do not be afraid to appear weak, admit that you are nervous when it is delayed. In the case when two are working to stabilize the interaction, such openness will cause her to understand and strive to minimize your experiences. Do not turn into a cruel despot, completely controlling her every step - the task again to learn to trust.

If you forgive treason girls hard, then analyze what exactly does not let go of the situation. There can emerge a variety of personality complexes, from the reluctance of comparison and the efforts to surpass her lover, to the rejection of their own doing change. Also, many guys consider it a betrayal that a girl has someone appeared during the period of their separation, when in fact both are free people.

There is a chance to encounter a feeling of unreasonable aggression towards the girl or a feeling of disgust. These are obvious markers that the guy is trying to deceive himself and sincere forgiveness does not occur. A confidential conversation with the girl can help here, but she can only tell about her own perception of the situation. The psychologist or independent internal analytical work can help to understand the mechanism of your personal reactions.

In addition to those people whom you trust as much as possible, try so that no one knows about the fact of betrayal, since people, even not wishing evil, can constantly be reminded of what happened. The number of opinions is limitless, but each time they will demand from you moral stability and upholding your own decision, which is difficult under social pressure.

How to behave after treason girls

The behavior of the girl after the betrayal largely determines the line of conduct of the guy. If she does not repent, blames you for what happened or begins to humiliate, the relationship ends, if she asks for forgiveness and admits mistakes, then renewal is possible. But there are plenty of options for how to behave after what happened.

Immediately after the fact of the discovery of adultery, it is necessary as quickly as possible to live through the emotional phase of the accusation of the girl and the desire to proceed to a logical analysis of the situation. Decisions made under alcohol or on the advice of friends may be inadequate, aggravate the situation and cause regret about the consequences. Take a pause, you can take time off and stop talking for a couple of days not only with the girl, but also with many acquaintances - during this time the emotions will subside, perhaps, besides hatred and pain, there will be warmth or relief from the possibility of ending a long-tired relationship.

During the pause period, weigh all the reasons that make you forgive or leave, listen to the deepest parts of your soul, and not just to understand male pride and social stereotypes. Строго отделяйте эмоции - желание мести, жалость, страх перед будущим, стремление доказать свое превосходство, чувство собственничества, заниженная самооценка не являются вспомогательными средствами.

После того, как собственное решение принято необходимо проговорить его с девушкой. Нужно морально подготовиться к тому, что она предпочтет другой путь развития событий. If your aspirations did not match, then you need to end the relationship and then engage in living the gap. Do not force the girl to make your decision to stay together, the only thing you have the right to insist on is the end of the relationship.

If you decide to stay together - this is only the initial stage in building a new interaction model. It will not be enough just to return everything to its place - treason is a crack, a turning point that requires not a change in the relationship itself, but a kind of restructuring of the identity of both participants. It is optimal to start a rapprochement gradually, spending at the beginning some time together, devoting it to conversations and questions, especially as regards each other’s value sphere. Try to recognize each other again, while not losing sensitivity to yourself. Some people choose joint family therapy from a psychologist, while others are able to revive old relationships on their own. The main point is the constant openness and desire to share thoughts and experiences. Remember how you recognized her during your acquaintance and chase away the thought that you thoroughly studied a person. Recognize secret desires and self-care. Where there is no good third place.