Bullying is aggressive behavior towards a person, manifested in violence, harassment, persecution, and terror. It can be said that this kind of psychological cruel beating of a person, while less radical actions, such as gossip, name-calling, cruel jokes, are not related to this type of violence and are called mobbing. Bulling is an unconscious aggression with repeated acts of violence, isolated instances of quarrels or ignoring can not be attributed to this phenomenon. But bullying refers to episodes of regular physical beatings or activities that can lead to suicide or cause him to attempt.
Among adolescents, bullying, harassment, and harassment are increasingly common, according to statistics, about 45% of children were subjected to similar attacks, and 20% regularly engage in similar destructive influences. Initially, bullying implies inequality of forces - physical, psychological or numerical, which provides a sharp emotional reaction from the victim and the inability to resist. Usually, the aggressor is stronger precisely in the place where the victim has a weak spot — the individuals are poisoned by groups, the physically weak are insulted by the strong and enduring, the unstable psychologically lifted by psychological leaders and gray cardinals. The repetition of violence causes a feeling of hopelessness and gradually forms the position of the victim when a person is no longer able to resist.
School bullying manifests itself in elementary classes, when hazing is arranged by high school students and pocket money, meals, toys, phones, etc. are taken from the kids. With age, physical manifestations practically disappear to secondary school, completely giving way to psychological terror - gossip, degrading treatment and insulting jokes are used, the total boycott and disregard are especially hard for the victims to endure.
Characteristic is the mechanism of occurrence of such behavior. Always bullying begins with one person who in this way tries to strengthen his authority, increase self-esteem, or simply attract the attention of the group. In the early stages, society can be divided into those who support a similar line of conduct, are indifferent, and those who condemn and condemn the aggressor. Over time, the situation changes if the victims of bullying do not resist what is happening and allow for the continuation of ridicule. In the best case, the defenders lose all interest and behave indifferently, but more often they accumulate irritation regarding the submissive position of the victim.
What is bulling
Bulling as a social phenomenon arises in those groups where the personality is devalued, and the needs for recognition, acceptance and understanding are subject to substantial deprivation. In such unbearable conditions for the individual, apathy first develops, eventually giving way to aggression, as an unconscious attempt to resist. If a person is brought up and is in conditions where the value of human dignity is always higher than the observance of formal rules and there are no directive prohibitions, the probability of becoming a buller or a victim tends to zero.
In addition to the situation there is a number of personality traits that contribute to becoming a victim. Thus, people are more often attacked who do not fit into the concept of norms that stand out among the rest, and it does not matter in what direction the type of strangeness (clothing, behavior, talents, tastes, timbre of voice, etc.). Victims are often new members of the team who do not seek to adapt to the generally accepted behavior - initiative, friendliness, help to everyone around them can be causes for aggression, if they are not norms in a new society.
Hypersensitivity attracts tyrants and moral sadists, because it is easy to offend such a person and you can get a very vivid emotional reaction. Also, the victim can create artificially, thanks to the influence of authorities. This happens when a senior (teacher, leader) intentionally humiliates and insults a person in the presence of a collective. The motivation of the superior may be purely personal, but the psychology of the groups is such that, over time, the rest of the members pick up the allowed behavior, having no complaints about the victim.
It is more likely that the attacker, even in a new place, will be subjected to someone who has been subjected to it before. Most victims are harassed not only at school, but also at home, usually violence is habitual for them, and they can provoke others, because caring attitude causes a lot of anxiety. The inability to respond to the offenders, the desire to take a passive stance, the lack of personal opinion or, on the contrary, a sharp confrontation with the group (lack of participation in common games or classes) can provoke aggressors.
Bullying victims are impossible without bullers - rapists, offenders, aggressors. In order for these qualities to begin to emerge, there are also certain prerequisites.
The primary and most important reason is in the earliest childhood and features of the family. With a lack of parental attention and love, bordering on indifference, the concepts of prohibitions and authorities, respectful attitude and building organic relationships are unknown. This situation causes a lot of internal protest, pain, and then aggression, as the driving force of change. It is impossible to direct this stream of claims to parents, therefore they are looking for someone weaker. Such children are looking for power in at least some piece of their life, and bullying gives power also over the life and mood of others. This is a peculiar way of obtaining evidence of its superiority and significance, driven by psychological trauma and narcissistic personality traits.
The Bullers are characterized by polar thinking and the division of the world into black and white, in the same way, the people in it are either with them or against them. There are frequent negative reviews about others and care in choosing contacts, and the criterion will be how much a person deserves the attention of the aggressor, as the highest and most significant one. But, despite the categorical nature, all aggressors are afraid of defeat, because in the event a lot is at stake - for this they choose not the one who is objectively weaker, but the one who cannot answer.
The consequences of bullying cannot be ignored, and they apply to all participants in the process. The most well-known cases are when the victim commits suicide, which is caused by the inability to find a way out of the situation and the inability to endure the bullying. Another way to avoid the terrifying reality is alcohol and drugs, which the victim may begin to use to relieve emotional tension. In addition, regular absenteeism, reduced intellectual and mental indicators, and work productivity are possible. There may be neurological disorders, problems with sleep and appetite, psychological problems that require the intervention of a specialist.
Victims increase anxiety and depression, sometimes reaching clinical cases, regulated by medication. There are violations in interpersonal relationships, the desire for solitude, inability to compete in the profession. This leads to the restriction of contacts and the choice of areas of activity outside the team. In addition, bullying contributes to psychosomatic disorders, disorders of the heart, nutritional problems.
For aggressors, bullying also has many negative consequences. The most frequent is the social lack of implementation, since the chosen ways of achieving the result do not work in adult life. Difficulties in communication are connected with universal hatred - there are tyrants in the family, success in a career is achieved by any means that does not contribute to the formation of warm relations. Tyranny can lead to personality disorders of the pathological spectrum.
Bulling at school
School bullying has a gradation of severity and manifestations. The most serious, noticeable and leading not only psychological disorders is physical bulling. Under him, the victim is regularly subjected to physical violence, beatings, self-harm. Examples of this may be the usual jerking of the pigtails or pushing in the corridor, and there may be extremely cruel manifestations, such as breaking fingers, cutting cuts, burning out skin, and so on.
Behavioral bullying can have a passive form, which includes ignoring the personality, boycott, isolation from the social life of the team. The active form includes blackmail, extortion (usually money, phones), the spread of gossip and the deliberate creation of negative conditions (damage or theft of things, closing in closets or dark rooms).
The easiest option is verbal bulling, which is manifested in insults, ridicule, humiliation, possibly curses. With the development of technology, a new concept of cyberbullying has emerged, when bullying occurs on the network, where offensive or threatening letters can be sent to the victim, as well as upload photos and videos (real or edited) to humiliate human dignity.
There are two primary reasons for school bullying: the parental family and the teachers. Behavior patterns adopted between parents, their feedback on those around them, and ways of resolving conflicts are absorbed by children and subsequently reproduced in school. The degree of satisfaction of the personal needs of the child also influences. Multiple complexes, lack of attention and love can lead to bullying. This applies to both shaping the behavior of the victims and the aggressors - parental scenarios can be taught to hide and suffer or resist and manipulate. The presence of psychological trauma can cause the child to harm others, attracting attention or conquer bullying, considering it the norm.
The provocation of bullying by teachers is due to their professional burnout, low level of qualifications or insufficient personal maturity. It is the teacher who can start or stop the harassment. So, if there are insults of students in the entire class, degrading comparisons, inadequate punishment to misbehavior, the use of physical aggression, then over time, students adopt such a course of conduct. The teacher can independently create future victims not only with verbal comments, but also with facial expressions or with a carelessly abandoned notebook. Coming up with nicknames for students, as well as ignoring aggressive manifestations - allow a single act of psychological aggression to develop into bullying, thanks to the teacher.
Regardless of the reasons, school bullying and harassment include several actors - the aggressors, the victim and the observer. The latter may include teachers who ignore what is happening, and children who do not want to go to the place of the victim, and parents who do not believe in this. At the initial stages there are resisting and defending the rights of the victim, but since the results are minimal and the activity from the victim is not visible, those who are not indifferent will soon go into the shadows or join the Bullers. Only in case defenders are emotionally, morally, physically or by status superior to the abuser, then the bulling at the school stops at the first incident, if you deal with it. So, if the teacher responds sharply and rigidly to such manifestations, then the likelihood of repetition is excluded. Impunity, in turn, entails the spread of harassment to other students.
How to stop child bullying - bullying
If recurring episodes of harassment occur, the child should turn to older parents, teachers, elder brothers or friends. It is often impossible to resolve the situation, because the aggressor does not hear the arguments and does not respond to the comments. It is important to ask for help only those people with whom you have a good relationship, since a formal remark from a forced teacher can only aggravate the situation.
For teachers, the main rule is the absence of indifference and the position of an observer - no need to give freedom to children to find solutions. Each buller needs spectators, and the more of them, the stronger his authority becomes, if teachers are also included in the process, the offender becomes invincible. It is impossible to show one's physical strength, it is necessary to bring the aggressor to a dialogue and open, confidential discussion of the situation.
Attention should be paid immediately, upon the accomplishment of the act, and for this you can stop the process of the lesson. It is important to transfer the offender's attention to the tasks and study of the new material, and not to focus on the ban, and all the more so without using derogatory statements (for example, "don't touch him, he is already defective").
Parents need to create a safe space at home, where the child can be himself, not be afraid of censure and ridicule, which will contribute to the timely communication of problems at school. It requires patience and restraint from parents to wait for candor and stop their first emotional reaction, which can be difficult for a child to be aware of. It is optimal to share your own life stories, successful examples of overcoming such situations. Perhaps the mere admission of the wrongfulness of the offender will be enough for the one who was the victim to figure out how to resist further abuse. The child may ask you to intervene, then it is better to discuss with him the options for a conversation with the aggressor, his parents, teachers, or all together.
If parents find out that the abuser is just their child, then punishment cannot be applied, as this will only strengthen his model, where force rules reality. In addition, the punishment may further alienate the parents and the child, which should not be allowed if his behavior is caused by a lack of love and acceptance. You should organize a frank conversation, understand the reasons that led to this situation, and then organize a dialogue with all participants in the events. If the parents are able to fill the warmth and love that the child lacks, then he will be able to sincerely apologize to the one who has been offended, often even then becoming his protector.
It is important to quickly ensure the situation and the external conditions that prevent the occurrence of bullying. In the family, it is necessary to pay enough attention and train the child to peaceful interaction. It is also important to instill a sensitivity to the permissible format of circulation and to implant internal strength in self-defense.
The school system needs to reorient its values from the assimilation of the material to the personality of each student. The psychological climate in the classroom, the mutual help of students play an important role in the prevention of bullying. Team building, classroom hours with the basics of psychology and social communication trainings contribute to the personal development and strengthening of the position of each child.
Films, serials, books and games, where various ways of interaction between people are shown, and the degree of aggression are somewhat overestimated (especially in action movies and battles) have an undeniable influence. Information from the games, where after the tenth blow to the wall, the person rises unscathed, and from films based on black humor, greatly distorts the idea of reality. It is impossible to prohibit or limit contact with such products, but you can show the real side of things, for example, writing to the box, where the child will feel real pain and will be able to assess the strength.
In all areas of the child’s life, it’s necessary to be separated as soon as possible from stressful factors: domestic and school violence, an unhealthy team, deprivation of the person’s leading needs, and the first manifestations of bullying. It is important to monitor mental distortions after weaning and to provide timely psychological assistance to such people. Those who have suffered persecution develop certain psychological characteristics and deviations that can spoil not only their personal lives, but also provoke the emergence of violence in a new team, where they will fall.
Children need to be taught the rules of confronting violence by developing special training or exercises for this. Adults can share stories from their own lives, you can watch movies. The main task is to provide a large flow of information and examples on respectful ways and ways to resist violence.