Adulter is a concept synonymous of adultery, implying an act of intimacy between two people who are not officially registered relations. This act is considered to be blamed, but the legal framework implying punishment is missing. However, many divorce proceedings begin with the fact that adultery in a relationship becomes permanent. This position is explained by the initial marriage on a voluntary basis, which excludes the moments of adultery.
In cultures and families, where a significant regulatory role of social moments of life is assigned to religious morality, adultery could cause not only verbal censure from those who strictly honors church dogmas, but also physical punishment, right up to execution. In modern society, the word adultery refers to the categories of morality and personal responsibility of each person. Entering into a relationship, each couple determines for itself the admissibility of betrayal, as well as the degree of psychological damage and further actions in the event of an incident. Some may adhere to the old church canons, others prescribe their obligations in the marriage contract, while still others may defend their freedom in intim and consider it an inviolable right to privacy.
Meaning of the word Adulter
The word adultery is of French origin and literally means adultery, treason. The semantic load of the concept was negative and deprecating connotation, condemning the attitude towards who committed treason or violated family norms of morality. In modern conversation, this term is used extremely rarely, since since its inception, a change in the institution has occurred. In addition, the number of civil marriages is increasing, treason in which is not included in the concept of adultery, since there is no official registration of relations.
The device itself of relations between people now more and more admits the presence of a second partner or his appearance, when the previous relationship easily ends or resumes again after a short affair with other people.
Adyulter in conversation is replaced by betrayal, which reflects not so much the trampling of family ties and loyalty to the family, as the betrayal of the individual’s personality and the choice of another instead of him, either once or as a constant companion.
The concept of adultery is used when something binds people, in addition to the temporary desire to spend time together and concerns male-female relationships. In the light of the new laws introduced, this concept becomes irrelevant for homosexual couples, people living in three, swingers and all those whose relationships are not registered by official state bodies.
Thus, the concept of adultery is used exclusively to characterize adultery with the presence of the fact of intimate contact in a heterosexual couple, which has a officially registered relationship. For all other variations, more familiar and modern concepts of treason, infidelity, betrayal and others are used.
What is adultery in the relationship between a man and a woman
Adulter in a relationship is a topic for the spiritual suffering of many biographies, books are being written about and films are being made. Undoubtedly, there is a certain proportion of romance and brightness of experiences, as well as the exacerbation of old psychotrauma and intractable situations concerning the lives of all participants.
From the deep psychological point of view, it is marriages, where the fact of adultery is present, are the most stable. At first glance, such information seems contradictory, because few people like to be deceived, and should be filed for divorce, but at the same time the appearance of a third party stabilizes the entire system. The system implies participants, that is, spouses who voluntarily imposed responsibility and a number of obligations relating to the life and life of a partner. This includes both the material side and reliability in not leaving the difficult times, psychological support - a lot of things that people are able to provide each other, being in officially registered relations. Moreover, these obligations do not imply the presence of absolute love. At this stage, an inappropriate way of expressing love and a need may arise for the third participant in the interaction, who will fill the necessary needs and act as a lightning rod.
Lovers and mistresses are called upon to compensate for the lack of something in a marriage, and if they were not, the union would most likely break up. A person is not capable of experiencing a shortage for a long time and starts either to demand satisfaction of necessary needs from those present, or is looking for their realization in other possible ways. It is important to note that lovers may not necessarily be single people - they may also be married individuals. In this embodiment, such triangular relations can last for decades, since the benefits obtained support all participants in the process, and disclosure and termination will not benefit anyone. This brings a certain stability and security, in contrast to the bright emotional colors experienced with unmarried partners who want official status.
Attitudes to adultery in male and female performance in society are different. Most often, men's treason is understood and forgive, girls from childhood are taught to respond to these episodes as a manifestation of the natural male nature. Women cannot afford such a degree of intimate freedom, only in some cultures there is matriarchy, and there are male harems in long stories.
Men themselves are easier to relate to adultery, including because choosing a mistress, none of them is going to leave his wife. There is a minimum requirement for a temporary companion, while a wife is usually a collective image of many virtues. Women's treason is characterized by thoroughness, and therefore the lover is chosen to match or even better than the official spouse. Such a situation threatens to break up a marriage much more strongly than a fleeting male intrigue, and, accordingly, a female attitude towards adultery is more serious.
Causes of adultery
The causes of betrayal in a marriage are largely determined by the personal characteristics of the participants, because in different life situations, with the same external factors, not everyone decides on external connections. The only thing that remains the same is the division of responsibility for adultery. Both or only one of the partners can change, but the responsibility for the incident is shared by both. Treason is an extreme point in expressing problems in a relationship, where stages of attention, honest talk about unsatisfied desires, changes in behavior and worldview were missed. Accordingly, the responsibility for the collapse of the family system that was, lies on both - on someone in the perfect action, on the other - in the absence of attention to the emerging changes.
The most common cause of adultery is unmet needs. Intimate and financial moments come first to mind that the spouse cannot provide due to physical or psychological characteristics. The frequency of physical contact and its quality are frequent themes in the cinema, but in real life the couple are looking for something to fill their soul. So lovers are looking for someone who will support, praise, help to cope with insecurity and complexes. Family life, turning into life and the solution of current problems, completely deprives the lover's eyes and concerns about the mood of the partner. This style of relationship arises against the background of fatigue from each other and from disappointment in a partner, but if there is no strength or desire to start a new relationship, adultery is the way out which helps to feel the joy of life again, without changing its former way.
Also, adultery can be used to compensate for complexes acquired during the life and psychological trauma. A person, seducing more and more partners, can love his legal spouse very much, but he can prove his relevance and attractiveness in a similar way. Unloved children, teenagers with frustrated sexuality, those who were cruelly bullied, try to take revenge in adult life, deserving the love of others.
Children brought up in situations of hyper or hypoveca do not know how to be in a healthy relationship, and then betrayal becomes a factor regulating the psychological distance between spouses. Such questions are solved on personal individual therapy, where the issues of establishing boundaries, attachments, as well as freedom of manifestation and personal responsibility of each are worked out.
Expressive personalities can resort to a adultery in order to revenge a spouse for inflicted resentment, unfulfilled promises or his betrayal. Usually, when treason is used as a punishment, the spouses do not care much about hiding this fact, but on the contrary, show extreme carelessness, as if provoking disclosure. There are no warm and sincere feelings for lovers, rather they are used to draw the attention of the rightful spouse to their condition.
It is impossible to completely exclude the biological nature of man, when under the influence of ferromones it is impossible to resist one of the new acquaintances. But socially developed creatures are able to control these manifestations, besides this kind of sharp craving can not occur between long-known people or cause long-term relationships. Accordingly, the reason for the biological validity can be justified only a few cases of adultery.
Adulter is not always accomplished with inner promptings to end the relationship, rather it is the last attempt to change something. For those who have managed to transcend emotions and pride, look at the situation from the perspective of personal responsibility and their own contribution to what happened, new horizons open up. Many couples began to really deepen the level of intimacy and openness of relations only after the treason that occurred.