Psychology and Psychiatry

Strong feelings What to do with them?

First postulate. Fighting feelings is always pointless and even harmful. Feelings need to be recognized. And agree with the fact that "I have them."

Agreed What's next?

Second postulate. Excessive experiences this is the very litmus test, by which one can determine the area of ​​"not my health" and, of course, the area in which "I need to work on myself."

Third postulate. Surrounding in your feelings there is nothing. Do you disagree with that? In your experiences he is guilty, she, they, and in general all? In this case, you can talk about the presence of the disease, which is called "dependence on others"! And it is expressed, above all, in the dependence of the individual's feelings on the manifestations, behavior, the supposed reactions of others and on the random circumstances of fate.

At this point, of course, the reader may refuse to read further. He is free to leave his life as it is. Along with this will remain intolerable inner experiences. Well, what can you do? The owner said: "Everything is fine, it is not me who is to blame, others are to blame here!" You can try to control the behavior of others and try to subdue random circumstances. The result is uncertain. Man cannot control anyone but himself.

In another embodiment, the event participant takes responsibility for what happens. And then you can talk first about managing feelings, and then about getting rid of them.

Fourth postulate. Any feeling is manifestations of oneself, one’s very strong needs for something. Everyone has undeniable rights to their own needs.

Fifth postulate. At the first stage of awareness, feelings (any) need their manifestation. Another question is how to manifest them correctly, so that their negative consequences are not reflected on anyone. For example, earlier an individual wanted to pour a bucket of dirt on the public in order to establish his right to this bucket. But everyone has the right to have feelings. It is unconditional as well as the right to life, birth, fate, and in general to itself.

Finally give yourself this right: to feel. You can experience different emotions: both positive and negative. Because before us is not an angel and not God, but simply a man, with his usual pain. A bad mood is a normal part of the life process. Even when you have worked on yourself, you have become more perfect and better still sometimes you will be in the grip of frustration. And this is completely normal. It may be necessary to conduct practical exercises for self-hypnosis.

Exercise 1: Your feelings have the right to be

Remember all your childhood grievances and sorrows. In your presentation, say their figurative "correct" mom. Imagine how she listens to you and fills you with warmth. You show feelings in full acceptance of the good. You get the right to their lives. Because your feelings are a part of you, an important, integral, component part, forming an integral personality.

Exercise 2: Self-suggestion

I have the right to any feelings. My feelings are part of me. I live, so I feel. My feelings are my territory. Anyone else is entitled to their feelings. My manifestations are my territory.

Postulate sixth. It is not normal to pour out a tub of mud on others.

It is important to stop the fact of public expression of personal experiences to ask others about permission to be yourself! It is important to stop, also to demand from others to meet their own needs. Because a self-sufficient person is able to give himself everything. Learn to carry your feelings alone. Your task is to live your emotions yourself. Deal with them (become stronger). And the option for advanced is to completely get rid of inner pain. An example of such an exemption is set out in the book series People from the Cabinet. About this further.

Rules for the expression of feelings

1. All negative things need to be shown alone with yourself and it is advisable to use inanimate objects in this. Options for grievous: scream in the pillow, speak out in front of the mirror, sign out in a personal diary, write a letter and not send, kick the ball, and generally any exercise, in private (in the forest) yell, cry, etc. You can turn to God, pray (a very effective, meditative method of purification!).

If your grief does not aim to offend or blame someone, but is neutral and agrees just to a good listener (for example, grief from the death of your beloved dog without any claims to anyone), then you can connect friends. But here it is necessary to remember: no one gets pleasure from sad experiences. Are you sure you want to share your grief with others?

Any independent work helps to completely neutralize sad feelings. In particular - physical labor!

Any painful feeling can be expressed in teamwork with the psychologist. A professional will teach you how to do it correctly, without undesirable consequences for yourself and others.

All feelings can be expressed through non-verbal creativity! And this is a good reincarnation option!

2. All the good can and should be shown to the external environment - this will only make you feel better. In statements you can safely apply I - the concept: "I admire your deeds!".

Seventh postulate. Like any dependent person, you probably need to be understood and usually kindly regretted. It all happens so unbearable that it seems necessary attention and participation. It is very important to get not the usual indifference and evil, but healing humanity and understanding. It is natural for every child and then an adult to receive responsiveness: "Your feelings are important. Your feelings are worthy of attention." Relatives ideally capture the children's experiences and provide the necessary support. With her, new forces emerge to live, fight, overcome difficulties. Such a filled man will not break. He knows how to cope with sorrows, and not crush them, as usual, and not put on display than to make himself even more painful.

As an option for healthy human support, several exercises can be suggested.

Exercise 3: Pity yourself

Show yourself the necessary sympathy, warmth and sincerity. Pity yourself. Show your attention and support. Create your own inner stronghold of soulfulness and understanding. And do not be afraid that you will be stuck in this state forever: you will fall, you will drown in pity and you will not accomplish the tasks set. And just agree with yourself: how much time and attention is needed in order to feel better? At what point, and how will you understand what is enough?

This own support gives the necessary calm, the “front”, and then the new forces, the opportunity to go forward.

Exercise 4: Healthy interaction with an imaginary loved one

Imagine that in life you have always had (and have) a very important, close, dear person. You can always turn to him. And he will understand, show good heartfelt attitude, human warmth and participation. He is not indifferent. Because you are for him - very important and necessary. Fill with the sensations that live in this human interaction. Take them with you and live them in your own heart.

This is unconditional love and acceptance. Ideally expected from mom and dad. But more often we do not know how to show such feelings, we do not even know how to feel them. And so you have to learn.

Postulate eighth. When it comes to strong experiences, it is not difficult to guess that it will not be easy to curb them. However, the term “not just” does not mean the absence of any possibility. We are talking about readiness for a long systematic work on yourself, on your feelings. Here it must be remembered that a person should manage his feelings, and not vice versa, feelings of a person. Yes, it is difficult, yes, feelings at a certain stage of life are stronger than us. But all this is solved, all is surmountable.

And at first, as already mentioned, a person learns to live all his own. He does not bear any claims to others, and in general does not blame others. He takes all his punches on his own. The next stage of work on yourself will be: the ability to not pay attention to your feelings. Only in this way can one become stronger than even the strongest feelings.

All books from the "People from the wardrobe" series are devoted to managing very strong feelings. They are easy to find on the Internet. Speech in the narrative is mainly about dependent people who are so strongly influenced by society and a loved one that they no longer can and do not know how to see themselves. It seems to them that they are not there at all. And they take all the reactions of the people around as true, for their own. Of course, we are talking about unpleasant and even tragic relations with a loved one and with society. However, there is a solution. You can become stronger destructive behaviors and get out of the circle of repeated negative events. This devoted the whole seven parts of the series. Using the example of overcoming excessive experiences by the main character, one can understand how to deal with one’s own problems by oneself.

And of course, it is impossible not to mention such a wonderful way of working on yourself, like continuous Zen-Buddhism meditation. The previously mentioned books are written as a result of the use of meditation practices by the author. And this article, in turn, is written based on the aforementioned books.