Psychology and Psychiatry

What to do when I meet the indifference of people to my creations

I showed myself, but no one noticed me. What do I feel about it? How can I live if people do not accept or even aggressively reject all my manifestations?

Any path to success will meet a similar test.

Maybe hide in the closet? I am not there, but at least not so scary to be. Nothing mine will ever cause someone else's rejection or contempt. No one else will drive me out. And there is no one to feel pain, because there is no pain, when "there is no me"?

- Hello! - as if the protagonist of the book series “People from the Cabinet” would say.

- I walked out of the closet. I am tired, unnoticed in the darkness to be absent - to live. I worked on myself and decided that now I can declare about myself without hiding.

- I am! I want you to hear me, people!

First, he will receive in response a tough emotional criticism, in which everything is spread to the nines: “The article is completely mediocre, the thought is absolutely crazy, the writing style is“ you shouldn’t have written ”, and the author himself is a stupid worthless hack, not worth any attention. "

How to live when perception is at the head of an external viewpoint. When is society rejecting such an important attempt to prove to itself and to all its right to exist, the right to any opinion and method of its expression?

The key idea of ​​the book, on the basis of which this article was written and many other publications of the author, is that a person is responsible for all his own experiences. Situations in life can occur different. And your feelings are what are happening in you. They can only be changed by you, and not by another person, fate, state or manna from heaven. It follows that any problem in which there is an experience, signals the need for their own work on themselves.

But in what direction to work in this situation? The answer was stated earlier. You need to be able to keep your borders. You can afford your everything within your own boundaries.

Suppose the hero began the way of correcting himself. True, he still does not know how hard and long his efforts will be. It seems to him: "It is enough to do a few exercises, and then everything will be fine by itself." And now the first steps have been taken. And it seems: "I will come, and people will accept me."

The author writes new articles, sends them to the Internet. But the desired happiness, alas, does not receive. The nature of the comments has changed dramatically. Now they have become rare and brief - "Nonsense!". And that's all. As if someone says: "The discussion is meaningless - the verdict is passed, any discussion is strange." Here there is a banal humiliation. This is not an assessment, not an opinion, but a degradation of any human qualities. The commentator has one simple desire - to insult, humiliate, omit. However, one must always remember: the external is equal to the internal. This means that the people who meet on our path reflect us. What is not pleasant, rejected, annoying in others - is the “tail” of its own similar problem. Obviously, we are talking about the same feeling that all participants in the tragedies live. In this sense, you should always ask yourself: "What do I feel in this situation?" and further to deal with the root of experiences.

The hero of the story, of course, watched, asked himself, coped with his feelings. So he came to the third main stage of his journey. He met disregard. Yesterday there were destructive, offensive dialogues. But they were! And he continued to argue in order to win the right to his own point of view. He contacted the outside world and tried to prove to him his right to dignity. He thought that the most terrible thing was the argument in which they deny you. But it was not the worst.

Silence in response - that was completely unbearable. It sounds like: "We do not hear you," "All yours does not matter," "You are not."

And here he realizes that pain is easier than emptiness.

How to overcome feelings whose strength seems to eclipse life itself? This is where the constant helper always comes into its own - Zen meditation. Not thinking - it seems emptiness, but in reality it is full. Do not think - as if to remain in the problem, but actually get out of it! Go beyond its limits and look from the outside at everything that you feel, and everything happens around. It is difficult - no one promised that it would be easy. But it is no more difficult than doing nothing and the rest of your life running around and hiding from your own inner experiences. Especially since you can not escape from yourself. At first, meditation, of course, does not save you from the experience. It will not be good. It will be in any way. And the state of "nothing" - in some way "rest" from experiences. If you are in hard feelings instead of "bad and intolerable" already "in any way", then this is already a breakthrough!

However, meditation needs to be learned. To change your life you need to meditate all your life. Perhaps the reader is not ready for such a hard and long study. Perhaps the reader wants to get ready-made fish, not a fishing rod. In this case, he may be advised to read the already mentioned book.

However, the searcher may not like it. He can mentally be indignant: "If a question is asked in an article, then the answer must be in the article!" And this is true.

And the answer is: your most terrible fears: “they do not hear me,” “nobody needs me,” “they ignore me and they don’t see me” need to live. Go through them, learn to live in them and stop being afraid. And then in the healing sense of freedom, everyone will understand their own. He will find himself, aware of what to do next and how to live. And most importantly, he will no longer worry because the society has not paid attention to him. Because his path will make him learn to live independently, without this notorious society.