Tactlessness is the quality of a person, manifested in a decrease in the level of constructive, positive, and good-naturedly directed communication. Usually, this style of communication is built deliberately, in order to harm or from indifference to the feelings of others. Own egoism in a tactless person is always in the first place, demanding the constant presence in the center of attention with disregard for the needs and thoughts of others.
The concept of tactlessness is multifaceted and includes a variety of manifestations. For example, this includes unawareness of one’s own negative qualities, and projecting them onto others or insensitivity to the emotional sphere of others.
The main reason for the manifestation of tactless behavior can be considered not so much the lack of proper education and awareness of the norms of etiquette, as internal violations of the individual. There are cases when a person with several higher educations, brought up in an intelligent family, is categorically tactless in communication, while another, who grew up in a boarding school and has not completed school, will show a high degree of sensitivity and tact in its manifestations.
It is possible to consider the conflict in the understanding and feeling of your own self as personal reasons causing tactlessness of people, because when sensitivity to internal processes is disturbed, it is impossible to properly orient yourself in external interaction.
The mechanism is quite simple - from internal conflict, internal tension accumulates, and the stronger and longer it is held back, the brighter will be the outburst of all the negative things that have accumulated in the soul. Many even talk about the inability to control insulting comments.
What it is
The concept of tactlessness has unconscious and conscious manifestations. By unconscious manifestations can be attributed to tactlessness, as a way of psychological protection - not being able to resist beautifully and harmoniously, understanding a huge amount of internal contradictions, a person in almost any treatment feels threatened by attack. It is this fear of being revealed or wounded that causes a person to lunge in advance, causing an overmeasure to react aggressively.
Conscious tactlessness is a way to achieve some goals - it can be a temporary destabilization of someone else's state, the desire to be in the center of attention, to move up the career or social ladder, using manipulative and despicable methods.
The tactlessness of people is manifested in the absence of taste and tact, an unpleasant style of communication with others when they are subjected to moral injections. In addition to words, there is a behavioral aspect of manifestations - such a person always appears at the most unexpected and unfortunate moment, can remain at the beginning of an intimate conversation or not be able to compare the volume and intonation of the spoken words with the situation and reaction of other people. Gossip, gossip, offensive reviews about all who can be reached - signs of tactlessness. Moreover, such a person does not stop at discussing intimate details or may even invent them, and even lack of appearance or congenital diseases can be a topic for caustic and offensive remarks.
Directed tactlessness refers to psychological and energetic vampirism, because often after talking with such a person there is a breakdown, apathy, frequent bouts of spasms and pain. Such phenomena are explained not only by the energy laws, but also by the mental structure, as well as by the mechanisms of psychosomatics. Any tactless intrusion is perceived as a violation of personal boundaries, hitting and careless attitude to sick themes and weak points leads to the activation of physical clips. This happens because a person adhering to the norms of cultural communication remains discouraged by other people's behavior and does not respond verbally, but the body still produces adrenaline for protection, which then accumulates with clips and transforms into pain.
This behavior may be adjusted or developed. So, being in a social, cultural environment, unworthy manifestations of a person can be smoothed due to the reaction of others. The most tactful are comments that sound not directly about the inadmissibility of such a tone and utterances, but that the person seems to be tired or not feeling well, if he has escaped this.
But the correction, unfortunately, is far from always possible, because a person with the prevailing tactlessness equates all by himself and considers the same behavior as the standard of behavior and style of communication. Intellectuals are often trampled for their uncertainty, sensitive individuals may be called whines and so on. In this case, you can only include a defensive strategy, thanks to which you will not be able to change a person, but it will be possible to get rid of his attacks. You can joke or answer extremely inconveniently from uncomfortable questions, you can also ignore the question, just like a person in principle. More active and effective behavior can be reduced to a mutual unpleasant question, but you should not look for painful or secret topics, it is better to ask how exactly a person relates to information about your personal life, which he is interested in. In general, not to enter into dialogue is sometimes the only way - increase the distance, refer to employment and so on.
Examples of tactless life
There are many examples of tactlessness in everyday life, some of which may not be perceived in this vein, but justified by the awkwardness of a person or a lack of understanding of the situation. Cases when a person asks for help of people who are not suitable for this: the one who is busy, those who suffered in a similar situation, the one whom he did not help himself when he applied. Discussion of people of different categories in their presence, for example, you can complain about all the women at the table on March 8, speak insultingly about Jews, knowing for sure that they are present or express the opinion that old age is terrible in any manifestations at the anniversary.
These, it would seem, moments of tact in the areas reported to everyone from childhood. But the fact that no one needs to tell a person to bring a newly returned, or even a supper person to go for a walk doesn’t need to be told - internal sensitivity is needed here. Asking for money from someone who has just suffered great financial losses or to demand repayment of the debt from the person who spent the last on treatment is a superfluous reminder of the difficult fate and severely injures another. Some meticulousness in explanations can make a person tell the situation extremely long, given many details, and the audience will be delayed when the essence of the problem was clear in the beginning. Disrespect for the opinion of others is one of the main features of tactlessness.
There is no subtle humor and relevance of such comments in tactlessness. It will be ridicule, cruel, loud and naked, the guide for which is usually envy or lack of topics in your own life. Even new sandals, people with a lack of tact can comment so that the hostess new clothes never wear them again, no matter how comfortable or beautiful they are.
The desire to get into someone else's life can be expressed in an unwanted matchmaking, when young people, who see each other for the first time, are closed in one room so that they can become better acquainted. The second option may be a discussion of personal life kept secret. The less a person gives out information, the more they come up with it, and not a positive one, and they will also tell everyone they know how reliable and reliable information is. Stories about who sleeps with someone, that the girl was promoted, because she is the boss's mistress, and the student bought a fur coat for money earned by prostitution - something that tactless people are spreading. It is characteristic that if you approach them with a direct clarification of the reasons for this, then the victim will have to prove for quite a long time that the situation is different.
And completely disarming examples of tactlessness concern sudden unpleasant or too personal questions. A person may be asked directly when he will finally lose weight or why he looks so bad, and questions may also contain a hint as to why this happened. So such options are quite possible: "Why is the second day wearing the same jeans? Nothing to wear or is it hanging around all night?" or "My wife left you yet? I could not stand drinking." The phrase itself is built in such a way that a person feels inferior or defective and is lost in the answers, but this is not only an attack, tactless happens and care.
Constant interest in whether the lonely girl has already found her husband seems to express feelings for her fate, but in fact it hurts, but questions about the timing of the wedding, the birth of a child can also be included. The military may be asked about the number of people killed and methods, the pensioners about the scantiness of the pension, the raped about whether they got pleasure and so on. The main feature is that a person is completely unaware of the situation and disregarding the feelings of others.