The personality of a person develops under the continuous intervention of the external environment, communication in which one of the most important places is allotted. Communication helps people to solve many tasks: exchange information and experience, organize joint activities, get to know each other and the world, make an impact, express thoughts, emotions, ideas, meet needs and so on. Communication solves both practical tasks and affects the internal state of the individual, her mood and emotions.
In some situations, the effect of communication is observed in affects, both negative (anger) and positive (joy).
The impact of communication on the formation of a person’s personality is enormous. In it you can find some patterns. If parents and their child reason weighed and calmly, then the child will grow up calm and reasonable. If it is difficult for parents to speak calmly, the speech is filled with hysterical notes, then their child will grow unbalanced. This is attributed to the fact that the baby has overexcited instincts, and in each situation he recognizes something emotionally important to him. This feature is attributed to emotional lability. It often leads to wear and tear on the nervous system. Emotional lability is considered a disorder characterized by unstable mood. Those who are characterized by this trait will react emotionally to all events that do not even imply such an obvious reaction.
The negative impact of communication is reflected in the psyche of the individual, leaving deep "traces" there. Communication affects the personal qualities of a person and his decisions. The spoken word is capable of benefiting, and can cause irreparable damage (psychological trauma), so it is important to be able not only to communicate, but to do it correctly.
Methods of influence when communicating
Often, a person finds himself in a situation where an interlocutor derails himself with his behavior, and he has to “torment his nerves,” trying to somehow influence him by changing his attitude or actions.
Often, when confronted with a blank wall of resistance, a person is overwhelmed with despair from impracticability to influence what is happening. Psychologists recommend to relax. The way out is simple and he is not where the person is looking for him.
You should stop doing what does not give the desired result. Of course, no one offers to come to terms with the situation, but insisting on senseless attempts at persuasion, 100% will worsen the relationship.
In our case, the statement "water wears away a stone" works in a different direction. And the communication partner will avoid contact without changing his behavior.
Therefore, it will be more effective to do something else that the person has not done before. His behavior should be a surprise, cardinally opposed to previously accustomed actions in order to influence the interlocutor as he needs.
This must be done because a person often does repeated actions every day that do not bring results. Driving on autopilot is much more pleasant, because the usual reaction and economical behavior requires minimal costs.
Psychologists have determined that any person in a particular place or at a particular time of day in the presence of some people may be more prone to conflicts than anywhere else, company or time of day. From this it follows that there are factors triggering the mechanism of patterned behavior. And the interlocutor, whom you want to change, also has similar stimulus-reaction patterns of behavior. And continuing to be persistent in unsuccessful methods of influence in communication, only the negative reaction is fixed in the interlocutor. It should be remembered, and if a person is interested in breaking the vicious circle, it is necessary to say or do something that he has never done before. Any change in the actions, time, setting, witnesses of the conversation or, conversely, their absence, can introduce a significant shift in the relationship.
Turn 180 degrees.
Often, most people are negatively perceived when they are taught; they can tolerate this only from their boss, but this does not mean that they will do so. Instructions and teachings provoke resistance and internal protest. Therefore, one should do the opposite of the way a person usually does: approve, agree, encourage. The main thing is not to bend the stick, so as not to think about a mockery, preserving the intonation and the seriousness of the facial expression.
Relationship problems quite often arise from the fact that people imagine that they are able to foresee the future. Predicting the negative consequences, the person behaves in such a way that provokes the interlocutor to respond to the words spoken in a certain way. Subtle, sending signals lead to the results that the person often fears.
Better to do than to say. This strategy provides for the rejection of words, in favor of specific actions. It is necessary to imagine that the words have ended and to send the interlocutor a message through the action. As long as a person speaks - his words are an empty sound, therefore it is worthwhile to proceed to active influence through behavior. It is necessary to think about how to convey your position without words.
Relations are close to the "swing", this is especially found in the relationship between a man and a woman, for example, when one is more active, then the other is more passive in actions. If you want the partner to do something more, then you should pay less attention to this. By not interfering, a person transfers the active principle into the hands of a partner and enables another to act. Thus, moving aside, you can achieve results. The partner has to reflect on the situation, take the initiative and look for a way out.
People perceive information with their ears, eyes, through movement and touch. It is not enough to use the same methods in communicating information, it is required to change the means of transmission, displaying creativity. You can leave a note in a prominent place, a message on the phone or send a message by mail.
The influence of communication is not only manifest, face to face, verbally. It is likely that it will be possible to reach the interlocutor in an unforeseen, unusual way. Therefore, it is important to observe the response of the interlocutor to their actions. If tactics have no effect for a while, you need to return to advice 1.
The ability to influence during communication comes in the process of experience, only by practicing, you can realize the correctness of your behavior in any situation.
Influence of individual features
Positive communication between people is an art. It is given to some individuals to own this art, attracting others to themselves, and giving them a positive, but not to others, and they thereby repel them from themselves.
During communication, both the words and the orientation of the eyes matter. The look should be open and direct. A bored look can make the interlocutor doubt the sincerity of words. Hiding from the other person’s eyes, the latter will have the impression of being insincere.
It is also important not to forget that an energetic handshake will help in creating a favorable impression, and a smile will arrange any interlocutor.
Emotional, sudden head movements, as well as hands during communication, should be avoided, as this looks ridiculous.
Communication is a dialogue
Therefore, it is important to give a talk to the interlocutor and asking a question, listen to the answer.
No need to complain and abuse the reproaches. Communication should be pleasant and positive, it is important to learn to give good emotions. If in life a heavy band, then you should refrain from “loading” with your problems, so as not to lose in the future the interlocutor who does not want to listen to nagging.
Better keep silent
Tactless are often those individuals who prefer to speak the truth in their eyes. Therefore, rather than telling your truth, it is important to consider whether the interlocutor is ready to accept it.