Psychology and Psychiatry

How to "shoot" a guy

The development of the skill for the quality and understandable “smack off” of guys is becoming relevant for girls, and doing it beautifully and with dignity, without going down to the level of rudeness and direct negative. This applies to completely different situations, for example, when sympathy is obsessively shown by a good person, but does not like a girl as an intimate relationship, as well as for those who cause an exceptionally persistent feeling of dislike. Moreover, the ability to “otshivyvat” guys does not include a simple refusal, since it is perceived by many men as flirting or even more interesting because of the girl’s inaccessibility (it is the state of the struggle, the conquest that stirs the male interest).

Attention guys usually gives the girls pleasant emotions, but not in cases where it becomes too intrusive or the self-styled groom delivers only problems and a spoiled mood to his wooing. Having accepted the idea that the main thing is perseverance, many people literally do not give the girl a pass, call at the wrong time or too often, meet in all possible places or behave excessively intrusive at parties and in clubs.

Before choosing a failure tactic, it is necessary to analyze to which category the obsessive fan belongs - this will give the opportunity to choose the appropriate model of behavior. Some situations dictate the methods themselves, for example, if a virtual acquaintance is seeking attention, then it is necessary to use suitable phrases for correspondence, and possibly blocking the contact, instead of a personal meeting. If excessive activity comes from a friend, then on the contrary, a conversation during a personal meeting will help to place the correct accents in the relationship.


There are options on how to “get rid of” a guy so that he does not take offense and make it beautifully many, and most of them help to keep warm further relations, if both are interested. Honesty should be in the first place, so at the first signs of attention you need to tell the man that this kind of communication does not suit you or that you are busy. It is better to always be proactive and speak such a text when a guy is only trying to escort you home or has begun to call more often for minor reasons. Explaining his refusal to a person who has been caring for a girl for a month and currently stands under her house with flowers is quite difficult, because there is a complete misunderstanding of why all actions have been taken before.

If you hold a conversation in a relaxed atmosphere, then an adequate young man will understand and accept your position. The main thing to do without lies, if you do not have a husband or boyfriend, then you do not need to refer to the fact that you are busy, it is better to report that you are not ready for a romantic relationship now, while it is important to note something good in the youngest person . Do not tie a person, express an understanding of the situation, if he stops communicating with you at all, because it is not easy to be friends with those who like it.

In the case of the return of the ex-boyfriend and his vigorous actions on your return, it is useless to meet with him to explain his disinterest. It is better to limit yourself to a telephone conversation or a message, the meaning of which is reduced to gratitude for participating in your fate, as well as for the fact that your relationship is over.

With all the guys, if you want to part beautifully, you must speak politely, pay attention to their dignity. Emotions are important to control, speak confidently, politely, without coquetry (no matter how it breaks through, since attention is pleasant). Show kindness and understanding - a person has the right to know why his courtship is not relevant to you, maybe he can change something or turn his attention to a more suitable girl. It is possible to move on to radical and harsh words only after intelligent communication and respectful treatment have not brought results, and you again see an obsessive admirer who has not drawn conclusions.

Sometimes you can do absolutely no words, especially it works well for unfamiliar guys or harassment on the street. You can silently ignore any attempts at contact or look in his direction with a serious-condemning look - the conversation, as well as the duration of communication with such girls are of little interest to guys in the initial stages. The main thing is not to confuse it with ostentatious indifference, which is part of flirting, which only stirs up interest. If a young man is adequate enough, then you can smile, as if apologizing, which will make him understand the impossibility of continuing, but at the same time leave a pleasant aftertaste (he will come up with a reason for this in this case on his own).


It is not always necessary to adhere to a high degree of seriousness of compliance with all the rules of etiquette, many informal places to communicate allow you to use humor in order to “shoot out” a new obsessive fan. Moreover, it often turns out to be a more effective tool than a thorough and polite explanation of all the reasons why it is impossible to satisfy his interest in the girl's personality.

For example, a girl can rejoice loudly and for a long time that, finally, her child has a father. This is seriously stunning if an attempt to flirt occurs in a bar. It is necessary to develop the topic immediately, verbally and violently - to plan a trip to the children's store tomorrow, a trip to the mother for the weekend and a mandatory presence at the matinee in the kindergarten. It is unlikely that the guy will believe in it, but, after reading the girl irresponsible, just go away, and she will have something to laugh at. Option with a child can be replaced by the payment of utility bills or digging ten acres garden, do not forget about the fallen off shelves.

Joke, as usual guys joke, remove all female flirting and smiles from under the eyelashes. Laugh loudly, clap him on the shoulder, tell vulgar jokes. If a girl says that she is busy, then some guys can show perseverance, but if she directly tells about the problematic relationship, which she is going to easily solve at his expense, then it causes dislike. The guys admit this behavior exclusively on their part, but they are in no way ready to be used by girls.

And you can also give free rein to your female nature and talk constantly and about everything that even your friends would not be interested. Manicure, seasonal haircut features, principles of epilation and baking pineapple pie - all this can be thrown out in an incoherent flow onto the head of an inappropriate romantic. The girl gets a moral discharge, and the guy is stressed and shocked, which soon makes him go and find the one that will sit and listen with admiration to his stories.


The ability to politely “shoot back” a guy sometimes works better than rigidity and direct confrontation. So, if you have a boyfriend or husband, you can refer to them, and to draw up the phrase in the wording of an apology, saying that they will not understand or approve this invitation. Refusing to invite in a cafe or other options for sharing the evening is well justified by your employment (and you do not need to give up lengthy wording, tell us what to write and erase the report), as well as poor health or fatigue.

Regarding your physical sensations, it is also quite possible to voice the details about wanting to sleep, eat, take off shoes, reduce headache or an attack of gastritis - the more physiological the reason, the faster the guy's heat cools. The main thing to add an apology to each phrase is precisely this tribute of politeness, and appeals to its understanding, if you simply list your problems, then this can be perceived as a proposal to solve them, which is absolutely not necessary, especially if the child and the headache are invented.

But not all the guys are able to maintain a polite conversation, and some of the refusal lose their composure, starting to resent and be rude. Stay in this situation on your line of conduct, keep responding politely, but by shortening the phrases, you can limit yourself to monosyllabic answers or leave a final comment about the uninterestingness of this conversation.

You can get rid of an unwanted acquaintance and “shoot” a guy by leaving the wrong phone number, which may not always work if he dials you right away to leave his own. You can get around this nuance by writing down the number on a piece of paper, and for as long as it dials it, it will retire. Although in many cases even this will not be necessary, few of the guys begin to check the number, because they have already received the correct cherished numbers and continue to charm the girl, but at the same time they are letting her go at any time, believing that the next meeting is guaranteed. Or, alternatively, you can ask for the number of a young man, promising to call and continue the conversation later, because now you are in a hurry.

There is one more variant of a polite refusal, which is useful for acquaintances, employees and other people, the intersection with which is possible later in life. This is a long-term path of permanent employment, that is, with each invitation, you need to refer to a delay in work, the need for an urgent trip, the urgency of repairs and a huge pile of different things that require your attention constantly. Over time, a person will understand that in your life there is simply no time or priority for him, perhaps he will lose his unsatisfied interest, and the girl herself does not say unpleasant words.

Phrases, how to "flash" a guy by correspondence

Cyberspace makes obsessive harassment possible even by correspondence and in social networks, but this does not make them less unpleasant. Constantly being heard out signals of messengers, the impossibility of concentrating forces one to look for ways to politely “shoot” the guy by correspondence.

Specific phrases depend on the individual situation, so if you have communicated a lot before, but now you no longer like the direction of communication, you can stop the attacks with messages by writing that you were pleased to discuss general topics, but now you are more inclined to live a real life. Such a statement helps to cool the eagerness of Internet friends, since everyone understands that no message can withstand the actual events taking place. It is important that a person who is annoying on the net has no opportunity to arrange your real meeting.

For a polite refusal, the following phrases will do:

“I like talking to you, but we don’t come together”;

“I’m not in tune with relationships, so sorry”;

"I have a boyfriend";

"Having understood myself, I realized that we are not a couple"

Say that you are too busy to communicate now, and regular messages distract from work. You can also voice your unwillingness to communicate in principle, you can refer to whether you are sleeping or traveling - the inability to verify these facts gives space for options.

You can beautifully “shoot” a guy by correspondence using formulations about the need for a break, time for reflection. But direct bans on communication act as an activating means, so if you are in the heat and say something like that, then get ready to increase attention. In this case, excellent opportunities for blocking the contact will help, otherwise the annoyance can spoil a lot of nerves.

How not to refuse: the mistakes of girls

The pursuit of politeness and modesty sometimes has the opposite effect and girls can not “kick back” the unpleasant guy. There are a number of common mistakes that make guys think that this is just a part of flirting and they need to be persistent. A close look in the eyes is perceived as heightened interest, and the laughter of a guy’s jokes is the answer to his advances, so these reactions should be controlled, and it’s better not to show at all if you are going to stop communicating.

So you should not flirt and wait until the young man himself guesses about the inexpediency of manifestation of attention. It is optimal to say about your unwillingness to interact immediately or at least ignore the interest shown. Refusal, uttered with a smile, dull eyes, lack of confidence in the voice are perceived as encouragement. But this does not mean that it is necessary to immediately show rudeness and express obscenely. Quite adequate guys deserve a human explanation, even if up to this girl met a dozen boors.

You can practice your ability to refuse, not only to guys, but also to any people, in situations that do not suit you. A firm and direct refusal, said once, but with the right expression of the face and intonation, leaves no special options for a normal person. If you continue to pursue and after that, then this may be a signal of the personality violations of the fan and then it is better to take up ignoring such an interlocutor. If the conversation concerns old acquaintances or friends, then you should not hold it among people or in correspondence. Respect for a person requires your personal meeting and discussion of all possible options and consequences.

Explanation of the reasons for the refusal, even if only briefly, is necessary for the person to have a complete image. Avoid using criticism of the individual, his preferences or attitudes in such explanations; it is better to explain this by personal attitudes and impossibilities or reluctance. Until the specifics appear, there may be a feeling that the girl is simply naughty.