Psychology and Psychiatry

How to find a soul mate

Trying to solve the problem, how to find a soul mate intended by fate, people who have experience of unfulfilled relationships. The source and situations of such experience are not so fundamental - it can be a broken marriage, or just an example of parents, the first love that brought a lot of pain, or just reading the relevant literature. This spiritual experience is acquired not only through direct participation, but also indirectly.

There are many tips on places of dating and the art of flirting - all this will definitely help fill out a notebook with phones of interesting candidates for a crucial role in personal life, but does not guarantee love, and most importantly, coincidence in all areas so as to speak about the implementation of the original goal of the search operation .

To find a soul mate, you need to understand exactly what you are looking for, and accordingly decide on internal criteria and understanding of what kind of person you need. The blurred desire of a beautiful prince with a comfortable character, and even to be a telepath regarding desires and that it all lasts forever and happily utopian from the beginning, since it lacks not only concrete, but also a real, sober view of the world.

The process of formulating one’s desire more specifically can be lengthy and sometimes difficult, because it requires a clear understanding of one’s own peculiarities (complexes and psychotraumas, parental scenarios and attitudes) and needs (in the sensual and everyday sphere). Therefore, you first need to get to know yourself and find out the reasons for such a desperate search for a partner. Mature options may prevail here, such as the desire to be in contact and the willingness to take responsibility for their contribution to relationships, the sense of opportunities to share and receive, interact and learn, and may even be a fear of loneliness or the pressure of society about the need to be with a certain age a pair.

Before entering the active phase of the search, it is necessary to open your consciousness to the changes (inevitably occurring in life with the advent of new characters) and the heart for the new person and the new feeling. No matter how much the mind throws up facts of utility and the need to create strong relationships, if the heart is covered with old wounds, and the level of mistrust of people is so high that a person does not open even in small things, then there can be no question of any beginning.

Often there are situations when the person is fixated on finding the appropriate partner, the more all possible candidates are removed from it and the space turns into a vacuum. It is not a matter of unworthiness or the need to correct the appearance, improve knowledge, simply, the higher the level of tension in connection with the search, the more it is reflected in the manner of communication. This is felt by the severity and absence of spontaneously arising feelings, the forcing of events, and the meetings are more like interviews. Few people are willing to continue such communication, except that one who is also intrusively concerned about the search for the love of all life.

You should always start with a sincere interest in your own personality (with all the flies, devils and cockroaches) and the world around you (the real as it is) - this is how sensitivity develops and the opportunity arises not to communicate with radically strangers in spirit. The more you understand yourself, the faster you react with refusal to those who are somehow annoying initially, but many continue to endure and look closely, clinging to the first person who has come up. Then it only turns out that from the first meetings he showed despotism or inattention, behaved egocentrically or expressed ideas that fundamentally contradict the inner picture of your world, but it is too late and you have to return to the search again.

Tips for finding a soul mate

It is much easier for a woman to find her soul mate when there is no tension on her face, and instead of it, facial expression translates bliss and happiness, regardless of the situation. These and the men flock and are getting better, so you need to learn how to enjoy the free status. You can develop in the field of hobbies, indulge yourself with pleasant trips, build a career - everything that makes the heart beat faster, and your eyes glow with enthusiasm. In addition to self-development and improvement of your mood, stress relief, all activities aimed at socializing (seminars, courses, trips, exhibitions, etc.) expand your social circle, allow you to meet people who couldn’t meet with the past lifestyle. The wider the social circle and the more diverse it is, the higher the likelihood of meeting someone whom you have been looking for, especially if the search among all your previous friends led to a dead end.

Realizing what kind of person is necessary for living nearby, you can mentally move to his place, feel the taste of the life in which he lives, and imagine which partner such a type wants to see next to him and then evaluate his own conformity. After such an exercise, there are two ways of development - either look for the missing qualities in yourself, develop skills, eradicate shortcomings, or, realizing that all this is an important component of your personality, change the image of the expected person to a more real one.

Finding your soulmate to a man, guided solely by the list of qualities of a woman, will be problematic. Women, by virtue of the guiding orientation of emotions, can forget their own list, going for admiration, whereas a man can quite pedantically withstand the selection of applicants in accordance with the list. It should be a little relaxed and not to miss interesting acquaintances, because the most inappropriate sometimes become the ones with whom you can go all the life. The logic is sometimes quite disastrous, while stereotypes about ideal companions of life invested since childhood have destroyed many beautiful couples.

Communicate with those who are of interest, regardless of age and position, as well as the scope of activity, because it is impossible to predict in advance how a person will reveal and with whom he can introduce you. In addition to such direct influences on the creation of a couple, new acquaintances expand the outlook and change the very concept of life, which can help solve the internal complexes that interfere with establishing communication or understanding which person is most suitable.

But when communicating with everyone, remember that this does not mean creating a multitude of novels, especially beware of flirting and other romantic inclinations with busy people. That is, a woman can communicate with a married woman, ask her for advice and ask for help, but it’s not worth deepening relations with a married colleague, falling into the illusion that he is your destiny. Everything that is created for a long time begins differently, respectively, the one who is destined for you and is now tied up by marriage is an option to stop where you should first wait for the end of that relationship (not tear them down, just wait aside) and then build your own.

Agree more often on any offers, you can even go on a date arranged by your friends. Those who know you well, understand, and this means that the person has already passed the initial selection, besides, friends are people who want well for you, which means they will only introduce good candidates. You should also always choose invitations instead of evenings with a book, but only if you can enjoy any outcome of the event. The goal of social outlets is not to find a life partner, but to sharpen one’s self-sensitivity and attention to one’s partner.

And reduce the importance and seriousness of the concept of the second half - we all change and it is quite natural that people will become completely different and they will be comfortable individually. Do not look for ideal people - there are no such people in melodramas, you are a real person and you can fall in love with the same real, but your own and cozy person. It is human weaknesses or shortcomings that make the image recognizable and alive, provide an opportunity to open up and be yourself, and everything is dead next to the ideal, exclusivity is inferior to norms and the desire to live and enjoy turns into a desire to conform.

What not to do

The lack of privacy or the presence of a number of psychologically inept person can lead to panic and push for rash and rash actions. To live, constantly concentrating on finding a decent pair, leads to neuroses and complete degradation of the personality, from whose life all the joys begin to disappear, and the attractive light comes out of the eyes. Therefore, it is necessary to stop focusing all your activities around a single topic. Men can hang out in clubs for days on end, chat on dating sites and flirt with all the girls, it’s more common for women to read a lot of tips and attend all the available trainings on this topic. There is only one outcome of such actions - the tension in the context of personal relations is so great that it scares away all potential candidates, and those who have lingered by a miracle soon discover that there is nothing to talk about with such a particular person.

Also, when searching for candidates, it is worth remembering the expansion of the circle of contacts, but at the same time strict control of this sphere. It’s impossible to meet a quiet and obedient woman in nightclubs or a wealthy husband in a hippie party. Remember that starting a relationship in a working environment with a person who spends most of his time at work is silly to demand increased attention from him.

Communicating in alcohol companies, it is not surprising that any problems that arise (which are normal for the development of relationships and in knowing each other) will not be solved, but drunk. The optimal places will nevertheless be those where it is of interest to you directly - this creates a common field of interests and predetermines in advance some of the common values.

Having found a suitable candidate, many people stop looking at the rest, as if giving the promise of loyalty in advance, often even before the beginning of the novel. So you can secure yourself a long evening of expectations, with a complete misunderstanding of the object that you gave yourself to him. The degree of seriousness should increase gradually, as well as the degree of convergence, the level of trust, the amount of information and other milestones of development.

Rushing to the first who liked, you can see those with whom you really are on the way, so only a gradual convergence, while noticing others, can guarantee that you are not blindly immersed in the first, comfortable relationship. Here it is necessary to include the sudden wedding with a lack of understanding who is in front of you. The causes of haste are varied - from the insane surge of hormones to the logical understanding that age is not youthful and there is no place to pull. Such quick marriages are not only more likely to end with a divorce, but do not even lead to a wedding, because the other person feels the need to move away, or even stop communicating with someone who organizes such a fast and the furious.

Online dating - is it possible to find a soul mate?

The probability of finding a soul mate due to the Internet is actually much higher than in a random vacation spot or at business meetings, especially if you use the relevant sites. The justification is simple - people gather there with the same purpose, honestly indicate their data and understand who they are looking for. Even the statistics speaks of a large percentage of favorably developing relationships that were initially established in the network.

The advantages of such acquaintances are that you have the opportunity to immediately find out about a person minimally important information. Such things as hobbies for sports or a lot of pictures with humor on the topic of alcohol, income and education, of course, can not characterize the person, but they undoubtedly affect the possibility of interaction. Getting acquainted in a cafe, you have no idea about the basic level of a person and spend time figuring out the basic, but at the same time, key points. Dating online at once provides not only the necessary information, but at the same time provides a set of basic topics for communication, removing awkward silence and searching for the thread of conversation. In addition, there is a kind of emotional security, which consists in your choice of when to correspond and with whom.

But it is worth remembering the duality of the virtual space, where fraud is possible during registration of the questionnaire, a large number of scam artists and simply extortionists. Also, many people, hiding behind the search for relationships, are simply looking for a companion to spend time in romantic correspondence, not intending to meet.

Psychological aspects are such that the longer you are in virtual communication, the less likely that a real meeting will take place, so the novel, of course, happens, perhaps even the most exciting in life, but turning off the monitor, you will fall asleep alone.