Psychology and Psychiatry

Fairy tale therapy. Need for approval

Fairy tale therapy is an area of ​​psychology in which a person travels the path of awareness and working through the feelings that bother him through invented images and plots. The hero can compose tales himself, or study other people - those that reflect his experiences. If we are talking about getting tangible benefits, then it is important for the patient not only to read the appropriate fable, but to feel it, to pass through it. And thus, understand the source of your problem or even find a way out of this situation.

Why precisely fairy tales, is it not possible to say everything with direct text, words? Why these ornate plots, coded images? Of course, the psychologist can always directly identify the problem of the patient. And for this there is another area in psychology - analytical. But the patient is not always ready to take everything in words. When the source of experiences is deep in the subconscious, you can reach through what the subconscious can see. And in the deep layers of the psyche, words no longer work. Images, associations, pictures work.

Notice how a person describes his feelings? He transmits them through images. Snake is associated with evil or disease (fear). Beautiful blue lake (feeling of airiness) - happiness. And so on. This is a simple example of reading signals from the subconscious. Associations of each may differ in virtue of education, life experience, etc. However, quite often there are coincidences - that is why ready-made tales can be used in psychotherapy. However, it may not be so easy to understand them. Sometimes fairy tales and their own feelings, like their own feelings, need to be “deciphered”. This skill can be developed by simple association exercises. Give yourself as many images as you can and find explanations for them.

As a practical work, you can offer to begin deciphering your dreams (dreams are the voice of the subconscious!). When you dream of something particularly impressive, you can ask yourself: what impressed me the most? Or what is this dream about? What does this mean to me? What are my feelings related to the main plot or image, etc. The answers will be the translation of the message from the depths of our psyche. She talks about what worries you most, what causes problems in your life.

In a series of articles from this author on fairy tale therapy, the reader is invited to go through a practical way of understanding the problem or even working through the reading of certain plots. The therapeutic effect is achieved if the experiences of the heroes of the plots are similar to those of the reader. And also, if the reader is ready to work on himself, which is set out in the concept of Zen Buddhism: "To get rid of suffering, you need to get rid of desires."

A series of books "People from the Cabinet", part one, chapter: Approval.

Vaska Petrovich was expecting approval in everything. He, of course, thought it was not. But generally - yes. Moderil, for example, a stool. And he wants to make sure that the stool turned out is not the same as that of everyone, but is special. Legs fasten more reliably. And the wood is polished smooth. And it looks more beautiful. Because Vaska invented his own design. And to say about this must surrounding.

And not even to say, but to perceive, to feel the magnificence of this stool. And he wants to admire the admiration in his eyes, looking at him. So that they say: "Wow! I want myself such a stool!" And they asked: "Can I have this?" Or: "And how did you do it?" And then they came to ask for more stools.

And he, of course, would be shy, but he felt great pleasure. I would have lowered my eyes to the floor and said: "Come on. Nothing special ..." And I would smile. With all my might! Like a little crazy. Then, of course, I would start doing lots and lots of stools. To make people happy. And he, too, - happiness. And his whole life would turn into stools. And the meaning too. And all this was supported by some kind of a straw.

A reed settled in the throat, a dry straw. But she did not break. She pulled, to the people all the time calling. And Vaska Petrovich wanted to communicate with him. So that he does not bring his stools, but they themselves called and asked: "Vaska Petrovich, you, by chance, did not invent a new stool? We just need yours." And so they called, they called, they called. They would not even bother him ever. Because he was ready to accept their needs from the bottom of his heart. Vaskin's soul was open, and others did not need it.

The reed pulled, and he himself ran up to the phone, checked: didn't they call? Maybe you listened? Sometimes Vaska Petrovich called himself: "I brought you a stool. You have not looked at it yet? How did she like it? Did you like it?" Never once did he see great admiration in the eyes of users of stools. And just then a friend gave out: “You take it,” he said, “his stool. I don’t like it!” And it seemed even to Vaska Petrovich that he did not ask a friend to take a stool, but denied some very important, barely perceptible part of him. I just took it and threw it away! A whole piece of Vaska's soul.

“The whole hitch is in the reed!” Decided Vaska Petrovich. “I knew that it was not without reason that it was given to me!” And he was going to investigate it in the most serious way. Understand the root of misfortunes. And then be sure to apply new knowledge for the benefit of the case. And he rolled this reed and this and that. And put it far and wide. He blew into it. Drew. Tried to cook like noodles, and appreciate the taste. Gave sniff to others. Inserted into the picture. I did a lot of things.

Good for nothing she turned out to be. “It’s necessary,” he decided, “to apply a non-trivial approach. Find an application for her that no one ever knew. And for this, you will have to include creative thinking.” “I don’t think about anything,” he said mentally. “Nothing disturbs me. I am turning out loud, eyesight and feelings. I calmly and unbiasedly observe the world around me.”

So Vaska Petrovich turned off the mind. He perceived life without all judgments. He just watched and listened. The world existed alongside Vaska. Driving cars. Warped people. Birds flew. Flowed river. Work was done. Children played. Friends came. Time went by. And there was life. And everything was so natural, ordinary.

And only the most important thing remains. What is visible and audible. Nothing more. There was no fiddling that usually overshadowed everything else. Anxiety and vanity disappeared, which prevented comprehending the truth. And in this beautiful state, in which there were no experiences and pain, in free weightlessness, in a pacifying space, in spiritual harmony and sensual silence, something suddenly stirred. Very quiet, even delicate. So carefully that you could not even notice. And, perhaps, it is easier to miss. At first did not understand. A little surprised. And continued to watch. Inside easy roughness. Big good beast. The hair is long, slightly disheveled - as if they had forgotten it, they started it a little.

But he did not lose this wonderful, great his kindness. So huge that it can hold the globe! Funny, a little gloomy, but infinitely human beast. It seems that all the mothers of the world have gathered there! The most loving, accepting and warm. But the insider is bigger than mom. He seems to be a real piece of God. His kindness has no limits. She is very deep and a little bit - sad. And because of this and more real. Vaska caught how the gray beast whirled inside him. And it takes the whole torso. And he looks at Vaska with such an understanding look, in which all the mothers of the world. Vaska first tried to talk:

- Who are you? - he asked. But the beast looked silently. And smiled. Only not by mouth, but as if by myself. As if he understood everything, but he could not tell. Then Vaska wrote on paper, gave a read. He looked, raised kind eyes. And he smiled again. I waited.

And Vaska guessed! He mentally presented a straw. And at the end of a question. The beast took a straw in his big hands. Looked at. Twisted. I tried a tooth. With his movements, he resembled a large, hairy monkey. Experimenting a bit. And then threw it away. And he began to look at Vaska again. “I don’t know anything about a straw,” Vaska realized. “For me, he has something else.” Then Vaska introduced the stool. And the feeling that he most wanted to get from the people to whom he gave stools.

He probably wanted approval. In response, the furry beast began to toss around the whole Vaska. In particular - in the chest and arms. He showed the picture how to fit. How to straighten your arms and how to thread the beast in yourself. Vaska mentally stuck his big paws into his hands, as if in sleeves. As if Vaska is a jacket, and the beast is Vaska. Straightened his arms. And the beast is located. And they froze together. Like the heroes of the movie "Titanic". Like a bird in flight. And it turned out that the beast is in Vaska himself, but at the same time he is visible.

And the approval that comes from within merges into feelings. He is sent by a piece of the inner God. And no one can condemn it. And this fluffy, infinitely kind beast that exists, lives inside you, but reflects God, approves not the results of your labors and even the efforts made, but much more. Whole body. With his boundless greatness, he approves of you. Always, completely and in everything.


The need for approval and support is one of many components of a dependent person. Overcoming dependence on society is one of the goals of the book series People from the Cabinet, where the title speaks for itself. In this story, the hero takes only the first steps: he learns to approve and support himself. If he goes to complete freedom (from society), he has a long and difficult path, part of which will be outlined in the following tales.